"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"

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  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    Andie: Our love fern! You let it die!
    Ben: No, honey, it's just sleeping.

    Another one: "Just put some windex on it"
  • jennyb612
    jennyb612 Posts: 83
    My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

    My absolute FAVORITE movie- the look on his face when he takes off the mask is priceless!

    LOVE. THIS. Goosebumps!
    And How about:

    Maximus: Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

    Maximus: Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.
  • bill_i_am
    bill_i_am Posts: 180 Member
    From: "Along Came Polly"

    Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.

    Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?

    Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.

    Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.


    Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little *kitten* came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

    Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.

    CLASSIC!
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    Andy: “Keep your ***** on a leash."
    40 Year Old Virgin

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • lilcupcake213
    lilcupcake213 Posts: 545 Member
    Not you fat Jesus!
  • bill_i_am
    bill_i_am Posts: 180 Member
    Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
    Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
    Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
    Napoleon Dynamite: What?
    Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
  • bill_i_am
    bill_i_am Posts: 180 Member
    Not you fat Jesus!


    haha, awesome!!
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    Not you fat Jesus!


    LMFAO AT MY DESK!!! OMG IM GONNA GET FIRED!!!
  • tmpayton
    tmpayton Posts: 148 Member
    My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

    My absolute FAVORITE movie- the look on his face when he takes off the mask is priceless!

    LOVE. THIS. Goosebumps!
    And How about:

    Maximus: Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

    Maximus: Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

    LOVE it!!!
    So many great words to live by. My son wants to get a tattoo that says "Strength & Honor". He wants it in a "beasty" language-still looking for that and then he'll get it inked.
  • scloyd
    scloyd Posts: 327 Member
    From: "There's Something about Mary"

    When Ted gets his genitals stuck in his zipper

    Charlie Jensen: Is it the frank or the beans?
    Ted: I don't know, both I guess.
    Warren: [from outside] Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans!

    or

    Warren: Have you seen my baseball.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Not you fat Jesus!


    LMFAO AT MY DESK!!! OMG IM GONNA GET FIRED!!!

    Ditto!!! :laugh:
  • wood2415
    wood2415 Posts: 53 Member
    Jack: I'm a realist. I understand it's the 21st century and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter. But under our roof, it's my way or the ong Island Expressway, Is that understood?

    Greg: Of course, yeah.

    Jack: Good. Keep your snake in it's cage for 72 hours.
  • mateo57505
    mateo57505 Posts: 83 Member
    "You can have a nice warm glass of shut the hell up, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Your in my world now grandma"

    Happy Gilmore
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    " If we wanted us some wussies, we would have named them 'Dr. Quinn' and 'Medicine Woman', okay?"
    " Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"
    " Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"

    -Talladega Nights
    Fast food dinner scene is priceless
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    DOCTOR! LEO! MAARRRVIIINNNNNN"
    I love What About Bob!
  • Bridget28152723
    Bridget28152723 Posts: 372 Member
    "Check out the butt on that" ...(referring to the couple in front of them) the other guy goes "yeah HE must workout" hahaha love Dumb and Dumber
  • dewgirl321
    dewgirl321 Posts: 296 Member
    It's not gonna suck itself, mama! (My Best Friend's Girl)
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
    "Shut up, Crime!" ---Rainn Wilson in Super
  • goforkissy
    goforkissy Posts: 157 Member
    Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
    Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
    Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.
    Peter La Fleur: ...Okay.

    If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    "We've got no food. we've got no jobs,our pets heads are falling off..."
  • CouchSpud
    CouchSpud Posts: 557 Member
    After all, if you're not committing sin... you're not having fun.
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say!
    Happy Gilmore: Hey, why don't I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What'd ya say?


    You little son of a ***** ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE *kitten*, BALL!
  • MelissR75
    MelissR75 Posts: 735 Member
    Annie:What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What, are you like a kitchen appliance or something?
    Flight Attendant Steve: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man.
    Annie: You are a flight attendant.

    Amazing movie.

    I love Bridesmaids. It's coming out of me like lava!

    I think I just about died what she *kitten* herself in the street.
    LMAO. Im going to have to watch that again tonight!
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    Annie:What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What, are you like a kitchen appliance or something?
    Flight Attendant Steve: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man.
    Annie: You are a flight attendant.

    Amazing movie.

    I love Bridesmaids. It's coming out of me like lava!

    I think I just about died what she *kitten* herself in the street.
    LMAO. Im going to have to watch that again tonight!
    "How many did you end up getting?"
    "Nine."

    I have to go now before this thread makes me laugh too hard and I leave a wet spot... awesome thread!
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    "There's a... (feels boobs) 70% chance it's raining right now!"

    I <3 mean girls!
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
    "You can have a nice warm glass of shut the hell up, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Your in my world now grandma"

    Happy Gilmore

    "My fingers hurt."
    "What's that?"
    "Oh- my fingers hurt."
    "Well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty."
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    "I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I f**kin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. S**t makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that *kitten*. I would tear that *kitten* up. I can't let you in cause you're old as f**k. For this club, you know, not for the earth."


    Omg the doorman scene! How could I have left it out!?

    "You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant *****es running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd."

    BEST EVER!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Uncle Buck: I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming." I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!
  • AllyBooMommyof2
    AllyBooMommyof2 Posts: 171
    bump this is hilarious
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
    Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
    Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
    Napoleon Dynamite: What?
    Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

    Love!
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