"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"
Replies
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Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?
To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!
GOD DAMN IT, GUMP! YOU ARE A GOD DAMNED GENIUS. This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump!
Lieutenant Dan, what are you doing here?
I'm trying out my sea legs.
But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan!
Yes... yes, I know that.0 -
"Used to rent it to a blind man... damn shame what they did to that dog."
"The royal penis is clean, your Highness."
Clarence: "Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their *kitten*. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't *kitten*."0 -
"A dish is best served cold!" ((Man on Fire))0
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"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"
"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"
"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"
"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"
"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!
Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.0 -
Who wants a mustache ride?! :laugh:0
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Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!!0
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"nobody puts baby in the corner" rip patrick swayze0
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"I was born a poor, black child".
I was going to post this!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite movies! so many great lines from it. Someone hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!
HAHAHA, hilarious movie
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Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *kitten* down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *kitten* this side of the nuthouse.
LMAO...
This is my all time favorite movie!0 -
Jonah: We got pinkeye.
Ben Stone: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah: Totally!
Pete: That's awesome!
Jonah: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.0 -
Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
ALSO:
Frank: Alright, I'll do ONE!
AND:
Frank: You're my BOY Blu!0 -
The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.:drinker:
-office space0 -
Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!!
:laugh:0 -
"So anyways...I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night, for some toast."
"GET THAT CORN OUTTA MY FACE!"
"I don't know why you always have to be judging me, because I only believe in science."
"They scalped my hairs, okay? I look hideous. You gave them permission to hurt me like this."
"EAGLE POWERS, COME TO ME! PLEASE!"
"ANACONDA SQUEEEEEEZE"
"Hey! Save me a piece of that corn. Save me a piece of that corn for later."
"I used to like Ramses! I wanted to be him. Then I realized...he's a real douche..."
All from Nacho Libre :-) There are so many many more. That movie is a gold mine of one-liners.0 -
Saul: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, stop right there. Listen. Stop right there a minute. A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin'? A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down, he's havin' a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter; "Waiter, come taste the soup." Waiter says; "Is there something wrong with the soup?" He says; "Taste the soup." He says; "Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?" He says; "Will you taste the soup?", "What's wrong is the soup to cold?", "Will you just taste the soup?", "All right, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?", "Ah-ha!"
Saul: "Ah-ha!"
Saul: What do you know from funny, ya *kitten*?0 -
"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"
"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"
"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"
"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"
"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!
Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.
"You can't accept LOVE?! The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world? You can't accept pure love? You can't accept Debbie? She's chosen to give you her life. She's picked you as her life partner! But you play fantasy baseball because you can't accept her love? I could accept it, man. And Debbie's amazing, man. She's cool and she's funny and she smells good and she's nice and her hair always looks different. She's too good for you, man. You're disgusting. You know, you're an urchin. And she busts your balls 'cause you're a little *****. You're a filthy *****! And I'd bust your balls. Debbie wants to give her life to you, and Allison doesn't want to do that with me. And it makes me sad all day!"
:laugh:0 -
AIRPLANE:
Capt. Oveur to Joey: You ever…seen a grown man naked?0 -
"Dear Lord, we realizes that lately everything's changing too damned fast. And all sorts of things are always the same, even things we hated, like shoveling the turkey and stuffing the snow, and going through the same crap year in and year out,"..."even the old fashioned pain in the *kitten* traditions, like thanksgiving, which really mean something to us, even though god dammit, we couldn't tell you what it is, are starting to stop. And thousand year old trees are falling over dead, and they shouldn't. And that's all from this end. Amen." -Home for the Holidays
You're my hero for quoting that one!! It's one of my all time favorite movies, ever! What an amazing cast!
"I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those *kitten* went and put Christmas right in the middle, just to punish us."0 -
"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"
"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"
"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"
"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"
"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!
Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.
"You can't accept LOVE?! The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world? You can't accept pure love? You can't accept Debbie? She's chosen to give you her life. She's picked you as her life partner! But you play fantasy baseball because you can't accept her love? I could accept it, man. And Debbie's amazing, man. She's cool and she's funny and she smells good and she's nice and her hair always looks different. She's too good for you, man. You're disgusting. You know, you're an urchin. And she busts your balls 'cause you're a little *****. You're a filthy *****! And I'd bust your balls. Debbie wants to give her life to you, and Allison doesn't want to do that with me. And it makes me sad all day!"
:laugh:
Debbie is a freak of nature!0 -
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.0
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" I love black underwears!"
(Joe Jr, While You Were Sleeping)0 -
"I was born a poor, black child".
I was going to post this!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite movies! so many great lines from it. Someone hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!
The Jerk......it just so rocks!
Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
Good luck. The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Bye Grandma!
Navin R. Johnson
haha
"I found my special purpose!"0 -
"Tell her you miss her whispering eye." "... and your whispering eye?" "Vagina! It means vagina!"
LOL0 -
"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"
"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"
"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"
"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"
"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!
Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.
"You can't accept LOVE?! The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world? You can't accept pure love? You can't accept Debbie? She's chosen to give you her life. She's picked you as her life partner! But you play fantasy baseball because you can't accept her love? I could accept it, man. And Debbie's amazing, man. She's cool and she's funny and she smells good and she's nice and her hair always looks different. She's too good for you, man. You're disgusting. You know, you're an urchin. And she busts your balls 'cause you're a little *****. You're a filthy *****! And I'd bust your balls. Debbie wants to give her life to you, and Allison doesn't want to do that with me. And it makes me sad all day!"
:laugh:
Debbie is a freak of nature!
You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.0 -
"I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"
- Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers0 -
" I love black underwears!"
(Joe Jr, While You Were Sleeping)
LMAO! Love it!
"These mashed potatoes are so creamy."0 -
"Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
“Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.”
“He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”
I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not so surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision…"0 -
"You better lock it up."
"No, you lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"You lock it up!"
"Lock it up!"
- John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey in Wedding Crashers0 -
"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"
"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"
"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"
"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"
"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"
"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!
Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.
"You can't accept LOVE?! The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world? You can't accept pure love? You can't accept Debbie? She's chosen to give you her life. She's picked you as her life partner! But you play fantasy baseball because you can't accept her love? I could accept it, man. And Debbie's amazing, man. She's cool and she's funny and she smells good and she's nice and her hair always looks different. She's too good for you, man. You're disgusting. You know, you're an urchin. And she busts your balls 'cause you're a little *****. You're a filthy *****! And I'd bust your balls. Debbie wants to give her life to you, and Allison doesn't want to do that with me. And it makes me sad all day!"
:laugh:
Debbie is a freak of nature!
You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.
Well played. Well, played.0 -
"If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood."
.....
"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?"
Monty Python and The Holy Grail0
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