"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"

kayleesays

Excuse my stewardess I speak Jive

ANYthing from this movie

mississippi_queen

Burger Shack Employee: Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this mother****er down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this mother****er down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this mother****er down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.

Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: ****! ****!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure...?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here... How 'bout a four-some?

_Ivian

"Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey!"

"Yall ain't never got two things that match. Either yall got Kool-aid, but no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Damn."

"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger! Can I take your order?"

"I didn't read the baby books! What's gonna happen!? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book!? That's right! The ancient Egyptians ****ing engraved what to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that!"

"Go **** your ****ing bong!" - "I will **** my bong, doggy style, FOR ONCE!"

"Take the vest off, you look like Aladdin!"

"You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so ****-faced last night, I shouldn't have ****ed that guy?' We could be that mistake!"

I got to stop :laugh: I absolutely LOVE Apatow Productions and can recite his movies line by line lol. Same goes with the Friday movies!

KittieLea

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

lorac321

from my chest pubes to my brofro

megacy

"Dear Lord, we realizes that lately everything's changing too damned fast. And all sorts of things are always the same, even things we hated, like shoveling the turkey and stuffing the snow, and going through the same crap year in and year out,"..."even the old fashioned pain in the *kitten* traditions, like thanksgiving, which really mean something to us, even though god dammit, we couldn't tell you what it is, are starting to stop. And thousand year old trees are falling over dead, and they shouldn't. And that's all from this end. Amen." -Home for the Holidays

Frilindsay

I woke up in this Japanese family's rec room, and they would *not* stop *screaming*

TexanThom

"Where the white women at?"

JM

Excuse me while I whip this out....Cleavon Little was the best.

AlyRoseNYC

"I have many leather bound books. My apartment smells of rich mahogany"

twistofcain

"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."

KittieLea

Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens.
-Sixteen Candles

Pollywog39

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family, my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or T.R. as we call him, and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley who is a stone-cold fox. Who if you were to rate her *kitten* on a hundred, it would easily be a 94. Also wanna thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr. who’s got my back no matter what.

:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

zeuslalala

VINNIE SAYS: "You know, its dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section".......
SHALDEEN SAYS: "Why is that?"
VINNIE SAYS: " Because you can melt all this stuff!"


MY BLUE HEAVEN

doorki

"He hates these cans! Everyone stay away from the cans!"

SarahD59

"Give the kid your hat."
"It's a crown!"
"Give the kid your hat."

perfect10isha

LOL at the Mark Griswold quotes... damn I love his monologues. Thank you for the laughs, I really needed some feel good today! I need to go out and buy Christmas Vacation, like yesterday.

galegetsthin

I have 2:

"have you ever had your *kitten* licked by a fatman in an overcoat?"

and

" Where'd you get the coconuts?
- We found them.
- Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical.
- What do you mean?
- Well this is a temperate zone.
- The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house marten or plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
- Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? "

fmf525

8-year olds dude...

KittieLea

LOL at the Mark Griswold quotes... damn I love his monologues. Thank you for the laughs, I really needed some feel good today! I need to go out and buy Christmas Vacation, like yesterday.

LOL @ "Mark" Griswold

morgansmom02

"BOO You *kitten*"

Say crack again. Crack.

skinnywithin

"Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfcker!" -"Step Brothers"

OMG I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT !

k2quiere

"Step on the same foot at the same time, my tits are falling off!"--Empress Nympho

and another...

"Occupation?"
"Stand up philosopher."
"What?"
"Stand up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension."
"OH, you're a bull**** artist!"

LuckyAng

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten* he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?

_Ivian

My absolutely FAVORITE rants come from this movie though:

"You see this watch? You see this watch? That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a ****. Good father? **** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here, close. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you *kitten*? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave."

"WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us! Does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to...****-US-UP... to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living! You fairy. You company man!"

Name that movie and you have my heart :laugh:

jerzypeach

Yeah.....but you're a fast food knight. - Garden State

Elizabeth_C34

We're going streaking!

onmyway1101

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *kitten* down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *kitten* this side of the nuthouse.

HILARIOUS!!!! I love it!!!!

Crochetluvr

Joan Crawford in "Three Women"...

"And by the way, there's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society -- outside of a kennel."

muchadoaboutme2000

We can't stop here! This is bat country!

lorib75

From the Goonies:

Chunk to Sloth "Man, you smell like Phys Ed"

BEST.MOVIE.OF.ALL.TIME!!!