"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"
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".......The hammer is my penis."0
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"Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfcker!" -"Step Brothers"
I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you *kitten*!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
-"Step Brothers"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."
Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the &*^% up!0 -
Harry I took care of it!!0
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You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Napolean Dynamite is HAWT!
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Napoleon Dynamite: Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary No. 1: Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon Dynamite: I don't feel very good.
[takes telephone and dials number]
Kip: [making nachos on the other side of the line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite: Is grandma there?
Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon Dynamite: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Kip: What do you need?
Napoleon Dynamite: Can you just go get her for me?
Kip: I'm really busy right now.
Napoleon Dynamite: Just tell her to come get me.
Kip: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I don't feel good!
Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
Kip: No.
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya.
[Kip hangs up]
Napoleon Dynamite: Uh! Idiot!0 -
"I'll have what she's having."
When Harry Met Sally0 -
I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.0 -
I think you're all f#^ked in the head. We're ten hours from the fu#*ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fu*#ing fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our goda*n smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're *kitten*! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy S#it!
Gotta love Clark Griswold!!!0 -
"I eart turds like you for breakfast"
"You eat turds for breakfast?"
:laugh: :sad: :laugh:0 -
Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...
*I could quote Pixar movies all day. I have a sad life.
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"We stopped off for ice cream."
"When the **** did we get ice cream?!"
The Ringer
oh my god. yes. this one.0 -
"Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner."
Favorite movie ever! haha!
"I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina."
OH MY GOD! haha.0 -
"I'll have what she's having."
When Harry Met Sally
Harry Burns: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally Albright: I'm not going to tell you that.
Harry Burns: Fine, don't tell me.
Sally Albright: Shel Gordon.
Harry Burns: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally Albright: I did too.
Harry Burns: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man... but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work.0 -
I love highschool girls I keep getting older and they stay the same age0
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"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." ~ Devil Wears Prada0
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OMG YOU GUYS HAVE ME CRACKING UP AT WORK I GOTTA STAY OUTTA THIS THREAD LMFAO!!!!
:laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker:0 -
"Suck me, beautiful!" -- American Pie :laugh:0
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"YOU CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER GAM GAM???" LMAO GOTTA LOVE "HORRIBLE BOSSES" :laugh:
I would bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states.
Detective: "You wanna explain why you were speeding?"
Nick: "I was drag racing."
Detective: "In a Prius?"
Nick: "I don't win a lot."
That movie was hilarious...
Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder:
Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!
Motown, get your Detroit jukebox Jheri curl *kitten* in this chicken **** chop-chop! ASAFP!0 -
Burger Shack Employee: Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this mother****er down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this mother****er down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this mother****er down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.0
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Please move at a glacial pace, you know how that just thrills. me...
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Roll 'em up!0
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Cal: Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced?
Cal's Boss: Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer.
Cal: Oh...
Cal's Boss: Thank God, man... *laughing*
Cal: Yeah, just my relationship...0 -
Boats & Hoe's..0
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"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." ~ Devil Wears Prada
I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese0 -
"BOO You *kitten*"0
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"I was born a poor, black child".
I was going to post this!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite movies! so many great lines from it. Someone hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!
The Jerk......it just so rocks!
Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
Good luck. The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Bye Grandma!
Navin R. Johnson0 -
I'm sorry? All I heard was, "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."0
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"You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, 'cause I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your *kitten*."
Tommy Boy0 -
Excuse my stewardess I speak Jive0
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What makes you think she's a witch?
Well, she turned me into a newt!
A newt?
... I got better.
Burn her anyway!
or anything else said in this movie
My fave from this movie:
"Spank Me...No, Spank Me. No, no Spank Me!"
Pretty much anything from a Monty Python Movie is bound to be funny.0 -
No thanks...a third of a gopher would only serve to arouse my appetite without beddin' her back down again.0
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