"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"

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Replies

  • Gyoza11
    Gyoza11 Posts: 143 Member
    ".......The hammer is my penis."
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    "Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfcker!" -"Step Brothers"

    I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

    Derek: So, what do we do now?
    Brennan Huff: We could hug?
    Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you *kitten*!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
    -"Step Brothers"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."

    Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
    Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the &*^% up!
  • cgrigz
    cgrigz Posts: 86 Member
    Harry I took care of it!!
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Napolean Dynamite is HAWT!

    Deb: What are you drawing?
    Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
    Deb: What's a liger?
    Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

    Napoleon Dynamite: Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
    Secretary No. 1: Is there anything wrong?
    Napoleon Dynamite: I don't feel very good.
    [takes telephone and dials number]
    Kip: [making nachos on the other side of the line] Hi.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Is grandma there?
    Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
    Kip: What do you need?
    Napoleon Dynamite: Can you just go get her for me?
    Kip: I'm really busy right now.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Just tell her to come get me.
    Kip: Why?
    Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I don't feel good!
    Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
    Napoleon Dynamite: No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?
    Kip: No.
    Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
    Kip: No, Napoleon.
    Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!
    Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
    Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
    Kip: See ya.
    [Kip hangs up]
    Napoleon Dynamite: Uh! Idiot!
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    "I'll have what she's having."

    When Harry Met Sally
  • lizzynewm
    lizzynewm Posts: 199 Member
    I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
    Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.
  • brun73
    brun73 Posts: 40 Member
    I think you're all f#^ked in the head. We're ten hours from the fu#*ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fu*#ing fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our goda*n smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're *kitten*! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy S#it!

    Gotta love Clark Griswold!!!
  • superstankazz
    superstankazz Posts: 193
    "I eart turds like you for breakfast"
    "You eat turds for breakfast?"
    :laugh: :sad: :laugh:
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,385 Member
    Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
    Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
    Helen: It's a ceremony!
    Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...


    *I could quote Pixar movies all day. I have a sad life. ;)
  • lizzynewm
    lizzynewm Posts: 199 Member
    "We stopped off for ice cream."
    "When the **** did we get ice cream?!"

    The Ringer

    oh my god. yes. this one.
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
    "Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner."

    Favorite movie ever! haha!

    "I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina."

    OH MY GOD! haha.
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    "I'll have what she's having."

    When Harry Met Sally

    Harry Burns: With whom did you have this great sex?
    Sally Albright: I'm not going to tell you that.
    Harry Burns: Fine, don't tell me.
    Sally Albright: Shel Gordon.
    Harry Burns: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you did not have great sex with Sheldon.
    Sally Albright: I did too.
    Harry Burns: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man... but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me Sheldon, you're an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don.' Doesn't work.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    I love highschool girls I keep getting older and they stay the same age
  • louisey112
    louisey112 Posts: 573 Member
    "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." ~ Devil Wears Prada
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    OMG YOU GUYS HAVE ME CRACKING UP AT WORK I GOTTA STAY OUTTA THIS THREAD LMFAO!!!!

    :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker:
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,648 Member
    "Suck me, beautiful!" -- American Pie :laugh:
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    "YOU CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER GAM GAM???" LMAO GOTTA LOVE "HORRIBLE BOSSES" :laugh:

    I would bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states.

    Detective: "You wanna explain why you were speeding?"
    Nick: "I was drag racing."
    Detective: "In a Prius?"
    Nick: "I don't win a lot."


    That movie was hilarious...


    Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder:

    Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

    Motown, get your Detroit jukebox Jheri curl *kitten* in this chicken **** chop-chop! ASAFP!
  • linda1243
    linda1243 Posts: 166
    Burger Shack Employee: Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this mother****er down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this mother****er down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this mother****er down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.
  • brayla1
    brayla1 Posts: 142 Member
    Please move at a glacial pace, you know how that just thrills. me...
    /
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Roll 'em up!
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    Cal: Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced?
    Cal's Boss: Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer.
    Cal: Oh...
    Cal's Boss: Thank God, man... *laughing*
    Cal: Yeah, just my relationship...
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Boats & Hoe's..
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
    "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." ~ Devil Wears Prada

    I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    "BOO You *kitten*"
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    "I was born a poor, black child".

    I was going to post this!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favorite movies! so many great lines from it. Someone hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!

    The Jerk......it just so rocks!

    Navin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

    Good luck. The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Bye Grandma!
    Navin R. Johnson
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,648 Member
    I'm sorry? All I heard was, "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."
  • zippo32
    zippo32 Posts: 1,407 Member
    "You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, 'cause I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your *kitten*."
    Tommy Boy
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Excuse my stewardess I speak Jive
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    What makes you think she's a witch?
    Well, she turned me into a newt!
    A newt?
    ... I got better.
    Burn her anyway!

    or anything else said in this movie

    My fave from this movie:
    "Spank Me...No, Spank Me. No, no Spank Me!"
    Pretty much anything from a Monty Python Movie is bound to be funny.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    No thanks...a third of a gopher would only serve to arouse my appetite without beddin' her back down again.
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