"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"

Cvanderpol77

mine would have to be any will ferrel movie. seriously almost every line for me especially anchorman.

beachlover317

Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it?
Jimmy: Did you just say mind-bottling?
Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

LoveBaseball61

From a League of Their Own" when Jimmy Dugan said a prayer in the locker room before the final World Series game:

"Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful. Lord, I'd just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is - she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that's it."

greasygriddle_wechnage

Chip Douglas: He who hesitates, masturbates.

Mr_Cape219

Rod: [Pronouncing the 'wh'] The safe word is WHiskey

Kevin: Sorry, Rod, What was that?

Rod: [Pronouncing 'h'] WHiskey

Kevin: [pronouncing with a silent 'h'] Dont you mean whiskey?

Rod: WHat?

Kevin: You're saying it wierd.

Rod: [Pronouncing every 'W' as 'WH'] Saying WHat WHeird?

Kevin: All of it.

Rod: -scoffs- WHere do you get off?

Kevin: I just dont get why you're saying it that way.

Rod: WHy I'm saying WHat *WHat* Whay?

Kevin: Forget it..

Rod: I WHill! I WHill forget it!

or lets not forget the whole 'COOL BEANS' skit.

ValRAAAAY

"I would rather fight with you than make love with anyone else"

~The Wedding Date

runbyme

Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull *kitten*, train robbers, bank robbers, *kitten*-kickers, ****-kickers and Methodists!!!

The most offensive and hilarious movie EVER! LOL! :laugh:

atsteele

Hasta lavista scwartznigga. (White Chicks)

Marillian

Scene from "The Help"

[flashback to the day Minny had baked a chocolate pie and went over to Hilly's]

Hilly Holbrook: So, nobody wanted to hire a sass mouthin' thievin'' Negro? Did they?
[as she's eating Minny's pie]

Hilly Holbrook: Pie is as good as always, Minny.

Minny Jackson: I'm glad you like it.

Hilly Holbrook: If I take you back, I'd have to cut your pay five dollars a week.

Minny Jackson: Take me back?
[referring to Minny's pie]

Minny Jackson: That good vanilla from Mexico and somethin' else real special.
[as Mrs. Walters comes over to cut herself a slice of the pie]

Minny Jackson: No! No. No. No, Miss Walters. That's Miss Hilly's special pie.

Hilly Holbrook: Mama can have a piece.
[pushes the pie in towards Minny]

Hilly Holbrook: Cut her one! Go get a plate.

Minny Jackson: Eat my *kitten*!

Hilly Holbrook: What did you say?

Minny Jackson: I said, eat my *kitten*

Hilly Holbrook: Have you lost your mind?

Minny Jackson: No, ma'am. But you about to. Cause you just did.

Hilly Holbrook: Did what?

[Minny looks at her pie as if to confirm Hilly had eaten the pie which had her *kitten* in it]
[laughing as Hilly runs out of the dinning room to throw up the pie Minny had put *kitten* in]

Mrs. Walters: You didn't just eat one, you had two slices!

lau444

“What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze?
Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?
Don’t you worry your pretty striped head, we’re gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed.
And then we’re gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we’re gonna give him a best friend hug.
Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug!
But if he’s been murdered by crystal meth tweakers, then we’re *kitten* out of luck.”


Ethan Tremblay: My father loved coffee, and now we loved him as coffee.

nas24

From a League of Their Own" when Jimmy Dugan said a prayer in the locker room before the final World Series game:

"Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls... be plentiful. Lord, I'd just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is - she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that's it."

OMG!!! Love this and that movie!

nas24

Scene from "The Help"

[flashback to the day Minny had baked a chocolate pie and went over to Hilly's]

Hilly Holbrook: So, nobody wanted to hire a sass mouthin' thievin'' Negro? Did they?
[as she's eating Minny's pie]

Hilly Holbrook: Pie is as good as always, Minny.

Minny Jackson: I'm glad you like it.

Hilly Holbrook: If I take you back, I'd have to cut your pay five dollars a week.

Minny Jackson: Take me back?
[referring to Minny's pie]

Minny Jackson: That good vanilla from Mexico and somethin' else real special.
[as Mrs. Walters comes over to cut herself a slice of the pie]

Minny Jackson: No! No. No. No, Miss Walters. That's Miss Hilly's special pie.

Hilly Holbrook: Mama can have a piece.
[pushes the pie in towards Minny]

Hilly Holbrook: Cut her one! Go get a plate.

Minny Jackson: Eat my ****!

Hilly Holbrook: What did you say?

Minny Jackson: I said, eat my *kitten*

Hilly Holbrook: Have you lost your mind?

Minny Jackson: No, ma'am. But you about to. Cause you just did.

Hilly Holbrook: Did what?

[Minny looks at her pie as if to confirm Hilly had eaten the pie which had her *kitten* in it]
[laughing as Hilly runs out of the dinning room to throw up the pie Minny had put *kitten* in]

Mrs. Walters: You didn't just eat one, you had two slices!

I couldn't stop laughing at that one!

thaislcrd

"Mr. Sanborn, did you take any Viagra today?", the doctor asks as the nurses load him up with the medicines.
"No. No Viagra," he says, looking at Erika and her daughter.
"Okay, good. Just need to be sure. Because I put nitroglycerin into your drip. And if you'd taken Viagra, the combination could be fatal," the doctor warns.
Cut to Nicholson, who rips the IV out of his arm.
And of course, the women were all laughing!

sdereski

From The Big Chill

How do you feel?
Like I got a great deal on a used car.

unknownjae

"Frau Blücher!"

Mr_Cape219

"Frau Blücher!"

*horse whinney*

nichalsont

Run Forrest!

sarah_529406

" No one makes me bleed my own blood " Hahahaha

KrisyKat

AND

fuselighter

Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Mike: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.

Motorcycle Cop: SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the shoulder!

sullykat

I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed b!tch, it's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.

Pink_Tina

Scarface: "Yo! They killed Killer, B! Yo, I think they killed Killer!"

Brian: "First of all to understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the dog was. Now Killer was born to a three-legged ***** of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz; he's a small time gun runner and a rottweiler fight promoter. So, he puts Killer into training. They see Killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother Nibbles. And killer said "no man! That's my brother! I can't fight Nibbles, man!" but they made him fight anyway, and Killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow."

Scarface: "Wow, yo, that's deep."

Thurgood Jenkins: "You know, uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer."

Bakerchk

AND

Have I told you lately how much I love you! haha! You are freaking hilarious!

KrisyKat

Have I told you lately how much I love you! haha! You are freaking hilarious!

:flowerforyou: I U too!!

LWeiler82

What, I can't go to Hawaii now because Sarah Marshall has heard of Hawaii?


She got me this, ok, because I always leave my cereal boxes open and the cereal would get stale and so one day I came home and she had this waiting for me because it keeps my cereal fresh. Now I have the freshest cereal.

Pink_Tina

Not a movie, but it's my favorite quote from my fav TV show: Supernatural.

Dean: I mean, come on Sam. What are we doing?
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost, exactly. Who does that?
Sam: Us.
Dean: Us, right. And that Sam is exactly why our lives suck. I mean come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? Normal people, they see a monster and they run, not us. No, no, no we search out things that want to kill us, yeah, huh, or eat us. You know who does that? Crazy people. We are insane.
(pause)
Dean: And then there's the bad diner food. And the skeevy motel rooms. And then the truck stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean who wants this life Sam? Huh? Seriously? I mean do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day every day? I don't think so. I mean, I drive too fast and listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and... and... and I sing along and I know I'm annoying and I know that. And you, you're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you're toxic. I mean, you know what?
(throws keys to Sam)
Dean: You can forget it.
Sam: Whoa, Dean. Where are you going?
Dean: Stay away from me, Sam. Okay? 'Cause I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse! I'm out. I'm done. I quit.

nichalsont

Unwinding and watching Miss Congeniality - two great quotes came up:

" Hemorrhoid ointment? Do you really think the judges will be looking that closely?"

And

"The last time I was this naked in public, I was coming out of a uterus."

jg627

From the human centipede: Feed her! FEED HER!

LisaCFSF

"Where the white women at?"

JM

LOL, Blazing Saddles!!!! Love the irreverence!

LisaCFSF

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white *kitten* down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of *kitten* this side of the nuthouse.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Sparky!!!!