"I HAVE NIPPLES GREG,CAN YOU MILK ME?"

Jenncoc86

"'Tis but a scratch"

Kendrawinn

Connor: Do you know who I am?
Brad: What?
Connor: Google me *****! I might be famous one day.

PrncessBre

"UMMM IM GONNA BE GOING AWAY FOR AWHILE.....TO JAIL...YEA" -OFFICE SPACE

LuckyAng

I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullsh!t - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this sh!tty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fv@kin' break! I'm sorry for cursing.

BrettPGH

I could fill this entire thread with quotes from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.


Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said f___ so much.

scloyd

From: "Along Came Polly"

Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.

Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?

Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.

Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.

Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little *kitten* came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.

hallie_b

""PC Load Letter"? What the @!%$ does that mean?"



Great when you work in an office.

I say this like everyday...

darkbutterfly32

You don't know what a Dutch Rudder - alright, you grab your d*ck, and then you have somebody else work your arm. Here, lemme show you. Grab my arm, I'm grabbing my d*ck, you're grabbing my arm... now work it. Work it. Work my arm. See that *kitten*? Now work it up and down. See that? It's like somebody else is jerking you off.

kayleesays

Not from a movie, but from the TV show scrubs. I crack up every time i see this clip


Carla: [J.D. tells Carla, Elliot, and Turk that Kim is pregnant] I'm sorry J.D. but you knew this could happen when you had sex.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I have to tell you guys something but you have to promise not to laugh. Ok?
[Carla, Elliot, and Turk agree]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Ok, on the night of said conception, ah, Kim and I nude-ed up, and um, the dirty talk began and I got a little over excited.
Dr. Christopher Turk: Oooh, She like a the dirty talk!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: No, I do. I find it gets the ladies going. But I occasionally get wrapped up in it myself, especially when I use some of my different voices.
Dr. Elliot Reid: He does.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Anywho, there was some unexpected friendly-fire, and uh, even though I never got a chance to enter the, the village, ah, there was an air strike on one of the outlying regions.
Dr. Christopher Turk: [Turk yells excitedly and Carla pulls his ear to stop him] Thank you.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Anyway, I talked to the gals in O.B.G and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even if there was no actual penetration.
Dr. Christopher Turk: What your trying to tell us is that you never actually had sex with her?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [after a brief pause] I didn't have a condom.
[Muffled giggles from Turk, Carla, and Elliot]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And ah, we decided not to have sex because, here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant.
[Carla, Elliot, and Turk break out in hysterical laughing]

every quote from scrubs makes me cry with laughter.

SofaKingRad

"Our bird's heads are falling off!" Dumb and Dumber

bzmom

Andie: Our love fern! You let it die!
Ben: No, honey, it's just sleeping.

Another one: "Just put some windex on it"

jennyb612

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

My absolute FAVORITE movie- the look on his face when he takes off the mask is priceless!

LOVE. THIS. Goosebumps!
And How about:

Maximus: Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

Maximus: Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

bill_i_am

From: "Along Came Polly"

Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.

Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?

Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.

Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.


Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little *kitten* came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.

Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.

CLASSIC!

PrncessBre

Andy: “Keep your ***** on a leash."
40 Year Old Virgin

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

lilcupcake213

Not you fat Jesus!

bill_i_am

Napoleon Dynamite: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

bill_i_am

Not you fat Jesus!

haha, awesome!!

PrncessBre

Not you fat Jesus!

LMFAO AT MY DESK!!! OMG IM GONNA GET FIRED!!!

tmpayton

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

My absolute FAVORITE movie- the look on his face when he takes off the mask is priceless!

LOVE. THIS. Goosebumps!
And How about:

Maximus: Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

Maximus: Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

LOVE it!!!
So many great words to live by. My son wants to get a tattoo that says "Strength & Honor". He wants it in a "beasty" language-still looking for that and then he'll get it inked.

scloyd

From: "There's Something about Mary"

When Ted gets his genitals stuck in his zipper

Charlie Jensen: Is it the frank or the beans?
Ted: I don't know, both I guess.
Warren: [from outside] Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans!

or

Warren: Have you seen my baseball.