Fat Acceptance

Just taking a quick poll of opinions on the Fat Acceptance movement.

While I don't think that anyone should be discriminated against based on size, I also don't believe that living at an unhealthy weight should be considered ok.

I was reading the website and found this quote
"Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss. Under no circumstance is discrimination based on size or weight of one's body ever acceptable." (http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/education/faq.html)

The first sentence hit a nerve with me.

What are your opinions about the Fat Acceptance movement?
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Replies

  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
    For me, it's like smoking acceptance. I have been fat about half of my life, and i firmly believe that being fat is a CHOICE, just like walking around with the health consequences of smoking cigarettes is a choice. I was never forced to eat any of the pizzas or cheeseburgers that i ate to get me fat.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    I dont agree with it at all. Its just lack of responsibility in ones life (there are certain conditions that cause it).

    For me. I know exactly why I am fat. 10 years of drinking and partying. Once I rectified that and got my life in order I started to lose weight.

    I believe the fat acceptance movement will hurt our future children if they think its ok to be fat. Long term sustainable weight loss is 100% possible, but requires discipline. You dont have to starve yourself on a 1200 calorie diet. You can eat 2k calories a day and lose weight, maintain weight ect, you just dont want to do it with McD's.

    I dont have respect for fat people (myself included a couple of years ago) that complain about being fat and do nothing about it.

    People who do something about it, and are trying to make the change are the ones I respect.

    This whole movement towards equality is kind of absurd as no one in this world is truly equal. There is always someone who is fatter than you, skinnier than you , prettier then you, uglier than you and smarter than you or dumber than you.

    The Fat Acceptance movement is just dumbing down the country even further, to make everyone "equal"
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    A person is more than their weight. They have thoughts, feelings, desires, and emotions just like a skinny person. To me, "fat acceptance" isn't saying being fat is healthy, or ideal, or idolized. Its accepting that the adjective "fat" isn't the sole defining characteristic of a person. Fat people deal with a lot of assumptions made about them - they're lazy, dumb, slow, low-class. You see a person, and judge them immediately, simply because of their weight. That is unfair, and dehumanizing. We all have an inner life that lives on regardless of how our exterior appears.

    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
    I'm torn between my strong belief that everyone should be comfortable in their own skin and love themselves as they are and my equally firm belief that people should try to be healthy. Not necessarily a BMI determined weight, but an active person who makes an effort to eat more fruits and veggies and less packaged stuff.

    Nobody should be discriminated against, but they also shouldn't use excuses to become complacent with an unhealthy life.
  • small_ninja
    small_ninja Posts: 365 Member
    I almost see it as encouraging people to live at an unhealthy weight :ohwell:

    I know why I'm overweight - a lifetime of bad eating habits, and that's on me (though maybe you can assign a tiny bit of blame on my parents) - and it's up to me to take responsibility for it and then do something about it.

    Also, some discrimination is kind of necessary - i.e. insurance premiums; it makes sense to charge overweight people higher premiums because they're more likely to run into health related problems.
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    A person is more than their weight. They have thoughts, feelings, desires, and emotions just like a skinny person. To me, "fat acceptance" isn't saying being fat is healthy, or ideal, or idolized. Its accepting that the adjective "fat" isn't the sole defining characteristic of a person. Fat people deal with a lot of assumptions made about them - they're lazy, dumb, slow, low-class. You see a person, and judge them immediately, simply because of their weight. That is unfair, and dehumanizing. We all have an inner life that lives on regardless of how our exterior appears.

    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.

    ITA well said.
  • jerknoir
    jerknoir Posts: 96 Member
    Everyone, please step back and repeat after me.

    Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy.

    Continue repeating until you get it through your head.
  • SweetSammie
    SweetSammie Posts: 391 Member
    A person is more than their weight. They have thoughts, feelings, desires, and emotions just like a skinny person. To me, "fat acceptance" isn't saying being fat is healthy, or ideal, or idolized. Its accepting that the adjective "fat" isn't the sole defining characteristic of a person. Fat people deal with a lot of assumptions made about them - they're lazy, dumb, slow, low-class. You see a person, and judge them immediately, simply because of their weight. That is unfair, and dehumanizing. We all have an inner life that lives on regardless of how our exterior appears.

    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.

    I agree.
    It is MY CHOICE to lose weight right now. If I didn't, I'm still the same person.
    I know that obesity has many negative health correlations, but some people engage in other behaviors which have equally negative health correlations with no external evidence of that.

    My parents eat the same way. My mom is obese, my dad is not (looks quite fit for a man in his mid-fifties). He has high blood pressure, she does not. He has a bad back (slipped disc) and knees (sports). She does not. He does very little physically. She had to pass a fairly intensive physical test to get her job (running up and down stairs carrying weighted boxes, lifting, bending (and does this for her job).
    Maybe they're the exception... but there ARE exceptions. To judge someone purely on their external appearance if faulty, whether you are judging their health, intelligence level, income level, level of education, or any other INTERNAL factor.

    In my opinion fat people are some of the few people it is politically correct to mock.
  • ployjoy
    ployjoy Posts: 45
    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.

    Aptly put. Body acceptance is something that most should overall strive to achieve. It does not imply listlessness in one's current condition, but rather the negating of collective cultural assumptions (be it weight related, or otherwise). I know many people that strangers would hastily judge as "fat", but these are people who could probably outrun and outlift them!
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    A person is more than their weight. They have thoughts, feelings, desires, and emotions just like a skinny person. To me, "fat acceptance" isn't saying being fat is healthy, or ideal, or idolized. Its accepting that the adjective "fat" isn't the sole defining characteristic of a person. Fat people deal with a lot of assumptions made about them - they're lazy, dumb, slow, low-class. You see a person, and judge them immediately, simply because of their weight. That is unfair, and dehumanizing. We all have an inner life that lives on regardless of how our exterior appears.

    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.

    QFT
  • Pinky67
    Pinky67 Posts: 108 Member
    For me, it's like smoking acceptance. I have been fat about half of my life, and i firmly believe that being fat is a CHOICE, just like walking around with the health consequences of smoking cigarettes is a choice. I was never forced to eat any of the pizzas or cheeseburgers that i ate to get me fat.

    ^^^^Agreed!
  • Lea_8D
    Lea_8D Posts: 106 Member
    A person is more than their weight. They have thoughts, feelings, desires, and emotions just like a skinny person. To me, "fat acceptance" isn't saying being fat is healthy, or ideal, or idolized. Its accepting that the adjective "fat" isn't the sole defining characteristic of a person. Fat people deal with a lot of assumptions made about them - they're lazy, dumb, slow, low-class. You see a person, and judge them immediately, simply because of their weight. That is unfair, and dehumanizing. We all have an inner life that lives on regardless of how our exterior appears.

    Fat people know they're fat. They're not blind. To me, fat acceptance is recognizing the person within the person, and treating them with the same humanity we should treat all others. Be kind, as everyone is carrying within them a struggle.

    ^^The voice of reason and compassion.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    I think people are not reading the site.

    Its saying society should change for obese and super obese people.

    Should a transit company have to build bigger buses for people that weight 300lbs plus?
    Should airlines have to make seats bigger for 300lbs +

    Also they are saying people cannot control themselves so regulations should be imposed to force people to accept everything

    Its a crock of ****. I am not saying discriminating against fat people should be tolerated, but forcing society to accommodate them is not the way to go about it.

    Its just another way to dumb down america any way you slice it. There cannot be a gap between people economically or physically so the government and special interests groups will try and close that gap by putting an upper limit on what someone can do/think.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    "Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss. Under no circumstance is discrimination based on size or weight of one's body ever acceptable."
    If that's what the studies show, then perhaps it's true. Judging by the number of overweight people, I tend to believe the studies. When I read this I translate it in my head as "When it comes to changing lifelong habits, people as a whole are weak. You are a person and you have weaknesses, so don't discriminate."

    But it's not quite that simple. As someone who is morbidly obese (yeah I just dropped the MB-bomb :ohwell: ), I can honestly say that when I see someone who is in the same condition as myself I think "There is something fundamentally wrong with that person". It's a snap judgement and it does not take into account anything other than my own gut reaction. This realization of my own judgment of people who were exactly like me is one of my motivating factors for getting healthy.

    In the end I try and balance this like I do many things. Accept the snap judgement as a part of my own psyche and do my best to see through it and evaluate a person on more than just their appearance.

    /officially rambling at this point
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    I think people are not reading the site.

    Its saying society should change for obese and super obese people.

    Should a transit company have to build bigger buses for people that weight 300lbs plus?
    Should airlines have to make seats bigger for 300lbs +

    Also they are saying people cannot control themselves so regulations should be imposed to force people to accept everything

    Its a crock of ****. I am not saying discriminating against fat people should be tolerated, but forcing society to accommodate them is not the way to go about it.

    Its just another way to dumb down america any way you slice it. There cannot be a gap between people economically or physically so the government and special interests groups will try and close that gap by putting an upper limit on what someone can do/think.

    Hey, if an airline is going to make their seats bigger (for the same price... I'm dreaming) I'm all for it! :smile:

    Being against over-regulation is one thing, but it goes both ways. Do we adjust buses to accommodate the reality of the consumers who pay to use that service? Or do we make it illegal to sell sodas larger than X ounces, as they are proposing in NYC? No matter which end of the spectrum the actions fall, being kind to people of all sizes is a small gesture to make the world more comfortable for everyone. We're all on this site because we want to improve ourselves, and most of us want to lose weight. We're (mostly) very supportive in this MFP community - I believe others outside of it deserve that as well.

    And I'm serious about the plane seats. I fly a LOT. They cram us all in there like sardines. No wonder people keep flipping out on planes!
  • piinchi
    piinchi Posts: 172 Member
    "Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss. Under no circumstance is discrimination based on size or weight of one's body ever acceptable."
    If that's what the studies show, then perhaps it's true. Judging by the number of overweight people, I tend to believe the studies. When I read this I translate it in my head as "When it comes to changing lifelong habits, people as a whole are weak. You are a person and you have weaknesses, so don't discriminate."

    But it's not quite that simple. As someone who is morbidly obese (yeah I just dropped the MB-bomb :ohwell: ), I can honestly say that when I see someone who is in the same condition as myself I think "There is something fundamentally wrong with that person". It's a snap judgement and it does not take into account anything other than my own gut reaction. This realization of my own judgment of people who were exactly like me is one of my motivating factors for getting healthy.

    In the end I try and balance this like I do many things. Accept the snap judgement as a part of my own psyche and do my best to see through it and evaluate a person on more than just their appearance.

    /officially rambling at this point

    Quasi-off topic, but... Congratulations on your awesome weight-loss success!! Dude - awesome!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I was watching one of the HBO "weight of the nation" short films today, on Weight Stigma. One of the experts made the comment that we as a nation need to attack the problem (of nationwide rising obesity) without attacking the person. I thought that was really insightful.

    They also had people describing some of the ways they've been stigmatized, and some of the examples were horrifying. One that stuck out to me was a woman that said she has had people take groceries out of her cart at the store and tell her that she doesn't need to be eating that (whatever they perceived as junk), which made me think of the grocery cart peeping thread I read earlier. I've never experienced weight stigmatization, but it offends me as a person.

    I however don't necessarily accept obesity either- I see it as a nationwide health crisis that needs to be solved, but I don't think that individuals should feel attacked or unwelcome in society because of their weight.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    I think people are not reading the site.
    No, I didn't. I was a bit off topic in my previous post!
    Its saying society should change for obese and super obese people.

    Should a transit company have to build bigger buses for people that weight 300lbs plus?
    Should airlines have to make seats bigger for 300lbs +

    Also they are saying people cannot control themselves so regulations should be imposed to force people to accept everything

    Its a crock of ****. I am not saying discriminating against fat people should be tolerated, but forcing society to accommodate them is not the way to go about it.

    Its just another way to dumb down america any way you slice it. There cannot be a gap between people economically or physically so the government and special interests groups will try and close that gap by putting an upper limit on what someone can do/think.
    Although I can't view the link now because it looks like the server is down, I agree 100%. If "fat acceptance" means the list above then it sounds like poison to me.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    I think people are not reading the site.

    Its saying society should change for obese and super obese people.

    Should a transit company have to build bigger buses for people that weight 300lbs plus?
    Should airlines have to make seats bigger for 300lbs +

    Also they are saying people cannot control themselves so regulations should be imposed to force people to accept everything

    Its a crock of ****. I am not saying discriminating against fat people should be tolerated, but forcing society to accommodate them is not the way to go about it.

    Its just another way to dumb down america any way you slice it. There cannot be a gap between people economically or physically so the government and special interests groups will try and close that gap by putting an upper limit on what someone can do/think.

    Hey, if an airline is going to make their seats bigger (for the same price... I'm dreaming) I'm all for it! :smile:

    Being against over-regulation is one thing, but it goes both ways. Do we adjust buses to accommodate the reality of the consumers who pay to use that service? Or do we make it illegal to sell sodas larger than X ounces, as they are proposing in NYC? No matter which end of the spectrum the actions fall, being kind to people of all sizes is a small gesture to make the world more comfortable for everyone. We're all on this site because we want to improve ourselves, and most of us want to lose weight. We're (mostly) very supportive in this MFP community - I believe others outside of it deserve that as well.

    And I'm serious about the plane seats. I fly a LOT. They cram us all in there like sardines. No wonder people keep flipping out on planes!

    I agree, I dont treat super fat people any differently in reality. Do I snap judge? You bet, when I see a 300lb plus person horking down a 1/2 gallon ice cream container (myself included when i was 300+)....however if I see the same person out walking around, I think to myself...good for them!

    If bus companies are losing money because bigger people cannot fit into them, they will for sure change the buses. No need to regulate.

    But the government trying to regulating how people think/feel is just absurd.
  • carld256
    carld256 Posts: 855 Member
    I have to disagree on one point, obesity is not like smoking at all. You don't have to smoke to live, but you have to eat. And your eating patterns, attitude towards food, and tendency toward obesity are all set when you're young when you simply have no control over it. If you're an overweight child you've got a lifetime of fighting against obesity ahead of you.

    Now, regarding this movement: I'm still a fat person myself, having just dropped from an obese BMI to an overweight BMI, And having faced size discrimination myself, I fully believe that a person is not their weight.

    However, I don't give much credence to the fat acceptance movement. It would be one thing if the movement, from what I know of it, was encouraging its members to work toward a healthy weight, but they're not. The message that I've heard from them is that fat people are fine just the way they are, and **** anyone who doesn't like it.

    I chose not to like it.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    In reality the only thing that will work in the end, and what sites like what was posted, to fight obesity is taking away people free will and choice. Simple as that.

    If people have choice and free will they will do and eat whatever they want.

    The nanny-state is already going towards regulating your refrigerator. Look at NYC and the ban on 16+ oz drinks. It will do nothing for obesity. People will just buy two drinks. Then the Mayor will be like, lets regulate it so you can only buy one drink per person ect.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    I have to disagree on one point, obesity is not like smoking at all. You don't have to smoke to live, but you have to eat. And your eating patterns, attitude towards food, and tendency toward obesity are all set when you're young when you simply have no control over it. If you're an overweight child you've got a lifetime of fighting against obesity ahead of you.

    Now, regarding this movement: I'm still a fat person myself, having just dropped from an obese BMI to an overweight BMI, And having faced size discrimination myself, I fully believe that a person is not their weight.

    However, I don't give much credence to the fat acceptance movement. It would be one thing if the movement, from what I know of it, was encouraging its members to work toward a healthy weight, but they're not. The message that I've heard from them is that fat people are fine just the way they are, and **** anyone who doesn't like it.

    I chose not to like it.

    Their movements message is "People are weak and wont be able to change/learn how to maintain their weight, so society needs to adapt to them".
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Being fat is a choice. Aren't most people on here because we've made the choice to not be fat anymore? (I use the term "fat" loosely.)
    Discriminating against someone for weight, race, etc. is wrong in my eyes.
    But encouraging obese people and telling them that it's okay is wrong, too. It is not healthy.

    I've always got from the "fat acceptance" thing that we should accept obesity. Is that what it is promoting or is it just promoting accepting a person regardless of their weight?
  • slowturtle1
    slowturtle1 Posts: 284 Member

    "Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss.

    I disagree. I'd say the truth is more likely that people DO not achieve long-term sustainable weight loss. That does not mean they CANNOT do it. I have been reading a very old book called Eating Awareness Training that speaks to the reasons why most people struggle and stay overweight. The same ideas are still discussed today and are basically that as a society we have bought into the "dieting" mentality. In a nutshell, as long as we "diet" our weight will be a problem. I know it has been true for me. I tried the "fat acceptance" thing and soon realized it was just a cop out for me--a way to avoid another failed dieting experience. So I quite dieting and started losing weight. Maybe it's a paradox, but it's worked for me.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I have to disagree on one point, obesity is not like smoking at all. You don't have to smoke to live, but you have to eat. And your eating patterns, attitude towards food, and tendency toward obesity are all set when you're young when you simply have no control over it. If you're an overweight child you've got a lifetime of fighting against obesity ahead of you.

    Now, regarding this movement: I'm still a fat person myself, having just dropped from an obese BMI to an overweight BMI, And having faced size discrimination myself, I fully believe that a person is not their weight.

    However, I don't give much credence to the fat acceptance movement. It would be one thing if the movement, from what I know of it, was encouraging its members to work toward a healthy weight, but they're not. The message that I've heard from them is that fat people are fine just the way they are, and **** anyone who doesn't like it.

    I chose not to like it.

    Their movements message is "People are weak and wont be able to change/learn how to maintain their weight, so society needs to adapt to them".

    That's pathetic. People need to learn how to take control over their own lives. Whether it be to start exercising more, eating less, or go learn about your bodies. Isn't this why they taught health/nutrition in schools??
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I think its stupid as hell. That's just saying its perfectly ok to be unhealthy. It's not ok. And our children should not be taught that.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member

    "Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss.

    I disagree. I'd say the truth is more likely that people DO not achieve long-term sustainable weight loss. That does not mean they CANNOT do it. I have been reading a very old book called Eating Awareness Training that speaks to the reasons why most people struggle and stay overweight. The same ideas are still discussed today and are basically that as a society we have bought into the "dieting" mentality. In a nutshell, as long as we "diet" our weight will be a problem. I know it has been true for me. I tried the "fat acceptance" thing and soon realized it was just a cop out for me--a way to avoid another failed dieting experience. So I quite dieting and started losing weight. Maybe it's a paradox, but it's worked for me.
    I agree with your sentiment (especially about dieting) but I think the key word is "majority". Either the majority can or cannot keep the weight off. If the stats show that most can't then those are just the facts.
  • loneworg
    loneworg Posts: 342 Member
    I think there should be just people accepctance, be it if the person small or large. Now the actul fat acceptance movment in it sounds like a bunch of fat people who want society to change for them which I think is wrong. We got ourselves fat not soceity. Just imo
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    As a former massively obese person, I can say this much...when you are over 300+ (in my case, I was 450), life sucks. It really does...people look at you like you have 3 heads, you have to buy extra tickets to ride the plane, you can't ride the rides at the carnival, and your *kitten* hangs over the edges of the motor scooter at the grocery store (the one you have to ride because you are so massively overweight that you can't walk the length of the store without having a coronary). So here is my opinion:

    I never once expected people to accomodate me because I chose to eat myself into that state
    I would not impose my physical condition on anyone because again; it was my choice
    I did not expect people to respect my condition, because quite frankly, I did not respect myself.

    Here is what I did expect:

    To be treated like a human being with feelings
    Not to be talked about in a negative manner right in front of me as if I were invisible

    I have lost ALOT of weight, and I am incredibly confident in myself even though at 260#, I am still technically obese. Here is my take on this bill....right now when people look at me they assume that I am: lazy, slothful, unhealthy, non-athletic, have a poor diet, etc. Here is the facts about who I am now: I work out on average 10-12 hours a week, I am now off all my meds and my doctor is jealous of my good health, my endurance when I work out is anywhere from 2-3 hours....yes, I am the fat chick on the track lapping your tired *kitten*, my diet (today excluded) is fairly clean with very little fast food and 8-10 servings of veggies per day.

    Who am I? I am the fat chick that you look at and say "I'll never be that bad", but you know what? You don't know me, and you don't know my journey. Do I think this bill is bullsh!t? Yes, I do...it is not specific enough to be taken seriously. Do I think that obesity should be a protected class? YES. This is why: when I was 450#, I was lucky to find a job making $8 an hour....now I make much more than that doing a job that actually is easier than I was doing before. The only difference is that I am nearly 200# less. I do not feel that an obese, qualified person should be overlooked because of an assumption that they cannot do the job. I run circles around my co-workers, and they have been there anywhere from 13-18 YEARS more than me. Most of them weigh less than me, and quite frankly, my employer was shocked at my work ethic. I was hired because I was the most qualified and exuded the most confidence, but they still never saw this amount of work ethic when they hired me.

    Anywho...I rambled a bit, but that is my two cents.
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    I was sliding towards chubby but never got fat. I was heading that way though. I'm very short and look young so I was always trying to get people to treat me like the adult that I am rather than the teenager I looked like. However, I do know two people who are/were obese.

    My best friend has lost almost 100 pounds over the past few years. She has always been very smart, wicked funny, and beautiful. The biggest change is that she is making an effort to be healthier. She is always looking to improve her health, her job, her life. She carries herself well. And I don't mean her weight. I mean she stands up straight, looks you in the eye, and speaks her mind. Through our friendship I have seen how her weight affects her. She's now overweight and probably always will be. She can also stomp me in a workout. I am proud to know her and proud that she is my friend. And I tell her so. I should also say I've never thought of her as fat. I recognize that she is overweight but it just never enters my mind when I think of her.

    The other person is my brother-in-law. He is morbidly obese and gaining. He is a walking stereotype. He is lazy and stupid (really, dumbest person I've ever met). He is self-entitled. 31 years old and still lives with, and off Daddy. He will occasionally make the slightest effort towards improvement (if someone is there to hold his hand and tell him he's fantastic for not finishing the large pizza) but as soon as it involves actual work, he gives up. His daily activities involve trips to the bathroom and the fridge, with frequent naps and hours spend searching for anything Billy Joel related. He complains of chest pain, knee pain, not sleeping at night and then eats another cheeseburger. The family doctor offered him free health care if he would work on losing weight. He starved himself for a couple weeks, lost 20 pounds, lost interest and gained 50.

    So there you go. Two fat people who are complete opposites. So maybe we don't need to work on fat acceptance as much as we do learning to judge people for who they are. It may take some time to get to know a person, but it would be worth the time. I like my best friend because she is smart and funny and is just as twisted as I am. I dislike my brother-in-law because he is lazy and self-entitled. The weight is just a consequence of lazy and self-entitled.

    The biggest difference is the effort they put into their daily lives. BFF puts forth a lot of effort into everything she does. BIL does everything possible to avoid effort. That's what we should be basing our decisions on, not weight.

    Sorry if this is long and rambling. It's way past my bedtime and I've had a hellish day. I was just talking with the BFF about fat acceptance a while ago and it hurt me that some people got so caught up in her clothing size that they didn't see what an amazing person she is.