"babe" "hun"

katielema
katielema Posts: 8
edited December 22 in Chit-Chat
I met my husband's coworkers last night - a bunch of women bartenders. He continuely called them "hun" and "babe" right in front of me!! THEY, of course, didn't seem to mind - BUT I DID!!!!

He says "it's not like I'm attracted to them, it's just out of habit" - I think that's crap!!!!!!!!!

Am I the only one that thinks that a husband should NOT be calling anyone but his WIFE "babe" and "hun"?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
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Replies

  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    My partner calls everyone "sweetie", from little girls to grandmothers. I don't really care.
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 762 Member
    his co-workers are bartenders? i can understand why... lol i mean most of them are supposed to do that. but i also can understand that you're his wife. I will be unhappy if i were you.

    my bf doesn't call me anything except my name.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I met my husband's coworkers last night - a bunch of women bartenders. He continuely called them "hun" and "babe" right in front of me!! THEY, of course, didn't seem to mind - BUT I DID!!!!

    He says "it's not like I'm attracted to them, it's just out of habit" - I think that's crap!!!!!!!!!

    Am I the only one that thinks that a husband should NOT be calling anyone but his WIFE "babe" and "hun"?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

    Its a bit different when its coworkers though....so yeah I feel where you're coming from.
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
    I'm ok with "hun", but not "babe". To me, "hun" is slightly nicer than calling them "girl". But "babe" is commentary. It would be like me calling my guy friends by saying "hey there, handsome!"
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    No you are not alone! those endearing names should be just for you his wife!
    I actually think to be called babe or hun by someone who doesn't know you is disparaging and I don't personally like it.
    Let him know how you feel or how else will he know it annoys you :)
  • subtractionproject
    subtractionproject Posts: 64 Member
    Personally, 'babe' sets my teeth on edge in general. 'Hun' I have less of a problem with.

    However! If it upsets you, or you view them as pet names that you have come to associate with yourself, then tell him that. He probably just is doing it out of habit (for example, I call men at work 'love' all the time, but it's pure habit) and not for any other reasons. But if you explain to him what the terms mean for you, he should hear you and make the effort to stop.

    But don't set too much store by these terms of endearment - they're often hollow and habitual, just like he says.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    If you're not okay with it, explain it to him, and ask him to stop. Giving him the side eye or the silent treatment won't solve your problem. Ask for what you want.

    I would absolutely not be okay with my man calling some other woman anything that he calls me. And if he ever did, I would ask him not to do it in the future.
  • KarCall
    KarCall Posts: 23 Member
    Is it possible that he doesn't remember their names? If that is the case, then I wouldn't worry about it.

    But... if it bothers you, then he shouldn't do it.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    It wouldn't bother me, personally, plus I think it's a bartender thing. When I was in college my best friend worked in a bar and all the guys who worked there (and girls too, actually) called everyone "babe" or "hun." Almost like it was easier to say that than to bother with people's names or something. She was a cocktail waitress and every customer it was "What do you need babe?" or something like that....not a term of endearment, just a word to use to sound friendly.

    But if it bothers you, he needs to know that it bothers you. And then go from there.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I call guys babe and hun all the time. I hope their gfs dont hate me!

    The only place I never do this is at work since its a very male dominated field. I sort of have to act like one of the boys.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
    Ooooh that would piss me off. And my husband would be equally angry if I was going around calling men "babe" and "sweetie". It's just very flirtatious sounding.
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    I met my husband's coworkers last night - a bunch of women bartenders. He continuely called them "hun" and "babe" right in front of me!! THEY, of course, didn't seem to mind - BUT I DID!!!!

    He says "it's not like I'm attracted to them, it's just out of habit" - I think that's crap!!!!!!!!!

    Am I the only one that thinks that a husband should NOT be calling anyone but his WIFE "babe" and "hun"?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

    Hun wouldn't bother me that much it's fairly harmless, but think babe would definatley rub me up the wrong way (as I wouldn't feel too comfortable about being called babe by a guy I work with)... However it could totally be a "I haven't bothered learning these guys names so I'll just call them whatever" It's a slippery tight rope this one, got to be careful not to come across too accusatory of infidelity in case he feels like you don't trust him and feels pushed away but definatley tell him that calling other girls "Babe" is not cool and makes you feel like crap as that's his affectionate name for you and you don't want other chicks sharing your pet name.
  • katielema
    katielema Posts: 8
    It does bother me - and i did tell him - his reponse was that i was overreacting!!!!

    I'm a spiteful ***** - sometimes........i can play this game!!! Can't wait to go out - and call every male I see "babe' or "sweetie" or "hotness" all loud enough for my "husband" to hear.
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
    I wouldn't take that approach. I'd continue to state my case that I didn't like him calling people pet names. It seems to me that being spiteful would only hurt the situation, not help resolve it.
  • marketdimlylit
    marketdimlylit Posts: 1,601 Member
    Ooooh that would piss me off. And my husband would be equally angry if I was going around calling men "babe" and "sweetie". It's just very flirtatious sounding.

    I agree here.
    And my partner would agree here too.
  • surromom2010
    surromom2010 Posts: 457 Member
    I call people "hun and dear" male and female alike, but never babe, I think babe is too close to baby and I won't have someone mistake one for the other. I grew up in a rural area though. Never mind when someone calls me the same and my husband doesn't mind. Guess it depends on how much you know the person.
  • SpydrMnky27
    SpydrMnky27 Posts: 381 Member
    Hun wouldn't bother me at all but babe would.
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
    Hate, hate, hate. I don't care if you're a stranger or my SO of 5 years. You do not call me hon, honey, sweetie, or babe.
  • ActiveGuy81
    ActiveGuy81 Posts: 705 Member
    Definitely not good to do that as a husband....especially in front of the wife. I hate being called stuff like that and I don't say those either.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    It does bother me - and i did tell him - his reponse was that i was overreacting!!!!

    I'm a spiteful ***** - sometimes........i can play this game!!! Can't wait to go out - and call every male I see "babe' or "sweetie" or "hotness" all loud enough for my "husband" to hear.

    And just what will that accomplish?

    What does he call YOU? I guess if my SO called me "babe" or "hun", then yes, I would be offended................but if those are just words he uses in the course of work, then what's the big deal?

    I find myself calling people "hun" a lot.......I think it's an old lady thing, though, and ya, I sometimes CAN'T remember people's names :wink: :wink: :wink:
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    It does bother me - and i did tell him - his reponse was that i was overreacting!!!!

    I'm a spiteful ***** - sometimes........i can play this game!!! Can't wait to go out - and call every male I see "babe' or "sweetie" or "hotness" all loud enough for my "husband" to hear.

    This may be the best approach. I'm the same way and was in a similar situation. I handled it like you're thinking and it worked pretty quickly. When I tried talking to him about it he said he didn't mean anything by it. When I did it he got pissed and didn't do it again.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
    I met my husband's coworkers last night - a bunch of women bartenders. He continuely called them "hun" and "babe" right in front of me!! THEY, of course, didn't seem to mind - BUT I DID!!!!

    He says "it's not like I'm attracted to them, it's just out of habit" - I think that's crap!!!!!!!!!

    Am I the only one that thinks that a husband should NOT be calling anyone but his WIFE "babe" and "hun"?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

    Lighten up.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    i call everyone "toots"



    no one likes it, except me
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    It does bother me - and i did tell him - his reponse was that i was overreacting!!!!

    I'm a spiteful ***** - sometimes........i can play this game!!! Can't wait to go out - and call every male I see "babe' or "sweetie" or "hotness" all loud enough for my "husband" to hear.

    I don't think he was playing a game he just sounds clueless just tell him to stop, he might have been saying you were overreacting if he felt like he got screamed at for what he believes is harmless, if you just ask him empathetically to stop because it hurts your feelings but don't get angry at him (because he won't get why) he'll probably stop. However if you purposefully go out and flirt with guys in front of him this might end in a lot of heartbreak and distrust on both sides.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    He obviously doesn't love you. See a divorce lawyer asap:tongue:
  • chazsucks
    chazsucks Posts: 170
    My OH calls girls Hun if he's friends with them, I think it's nice :)
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 476 Member
    I always call people (guys AND girls) Hun... Babe, I usually reserve for my special someone. Regardless of what the rest of us do...or think...it's really up to you and what you prefer or are offended by. Just chat w/ him and tell him you felt hurt. I'm sure he'll try to refrain from doing it, if he knows it is bothersome to you. :)
  • artbkward
    artbkward Posts: 238 Member
    In your situation "babe" would bug me more than "hun" but my SO isn't really one for terms of endearment nor am I.

    I get annoyed at work when people on the other end of the phone call me anything like that especially if it's a female who sounds about my age. It is very unprofessional and usually feels patronizing to me. If a little old lady calls me sweetie I don't mind as much.
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
    I don't think it is necessarily a husband/wife thing but I'm surprised you just noticed it now.

    The people who I know that do this, do it all the time - not just in around certain people.

    The 1 guy I know who does this. Is a sweet, southern gentleman that I have no problem with him doing it.

    The other is an older female and when she says it, I feels like it is completely condescending.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    i call everyone "toots"



    no one likes it, except me

    Hahahaha one of my best guy friends in college would call everyone "toots" just to be obnoxious; it was the best when he would call other guys "toots." Love it...you keep doing what you do.
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