"babe" "hun"

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  • happythermia
    happythermia Posts: 374
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    I kind of call everyone 'dear,' but it does annoy me when a total random guy calls me sweetie or whatever. Hypocritical, I know lol!

    But I would rather be called 'babe' any day over MA'AM!
  • beauty2323
    beauty2323 Posts: 70 Member
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    My husband calls me BABE!!!!!!!!!! If I hear him calling someone else that then OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

    Hun- I use that & he doesn't so I can't really comment with that. Now if starts using it... OFF WITH HIS HEAD!! lol :laugh: :tongue:
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    I'm glad I'm single.
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    I despise when people use the word 'hubby".

    Why all the spite, waiting to go out and call everyone the same? Sounds like bigger issues are going on but that's just my HO.
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    Doesn't bother me whatsoever, I don't have trust issues though


    ^totally agree with you.
  • xTwK
    xTwK Posts: 121
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    I despise when people use the word 'hubby".

    Why all the spite, waiting to go out and call everyone the same? Sounds like bigger issues are going on but that's just my HO.

    Agreed, there must be other issues in their relationship to cause such insecurity...
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
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    Here's the challenge with that-- people that work in bars and restaurants almost always talk to each other that way, it seriously becomes second nature to be a combination of a huge combo of flirty and smart-*kitten*.

    Not making excuses for him, but I completely understand his thinking you're overreacting because we (people in that industry) totally accept it as normal. The high stress yet weird fun environment creates that over-stepping boundary/bound, because we have to have it with customers too, even though we know we don't mean anything by it at all.

    But he should recognize (if he's been in the F&B industry for a while) it's only normal to us, and to try to contain himself a bit when he's with you.
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
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    If he's not putting his thing in their thing, I fail to see a problem.

    Pretty much lol.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    If he's not putting his thing in their thing, I fail to see a problem.

    Yup!
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    My husband used to call everyone babe or hun, even his ex wife. What bothered me was that he used the same names for me. I told him I want my own "name". He calls me "bug". I would say he has maybe used my real name 3 times in the last year.
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    Perhaps if he thinks it's okay, it might be time to do a little digging. It just doesn't seem right to me. :smile:

    Is this sarcasm? :huh: If it isn't then that's really bad advice.
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
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    Woah! Paranoia much? Not only do I not think it's wrong for men and women to use these terms, I think it's perfectly natural that they do. For example, in Yorkshire (UK) ****, Duck and Love are commonly used terms. Just because my other half calls the woman down the road Love, does not mean he's in love with her, and just because I greet people (of both genders) with Heyup **** does not mean I have seen their gentiles. Such terms are a part of regional culture and most regions have a set of these which are commonly used.

    If you're uncomfortable with them, I think you need to look at yourself rather than your partner.
  • 2bfit4rubyred
    2bfit4rubyred Posts: 4
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    Relax honey! You should see a Dr. :)
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    If you're with a man who has been this way for a lifetime and you're expecting him to change who he is, don't you think that maybe you're being disrespectful and should've known what you were getting yourself into?

    There's an old saying: "Women marry men expecting they'll change. They are frequently disappointed when it doesn't happen. Men marry women expecting they WON'T change. They are frequently disappointed when it does."

    There's another newer saying: "People who ask for advice about problems with their spouse on Internet forums are going to get a whole range of opinions, and through sheer coincidence some of the solutions might actually be right. But the ONLY way to start actually dealing with the problem is to step away from the Internet and talk to the spouse. Reading the pages of responses from tons of well-meaning people who are not living your life just costs you time or clouds the real communication you have to have with your spouse."

    To OP: Please stop reading the thread NOW and actually express your feelings to your husband, face-to-face, honestly and without trying to judge. If this is a real crisis for your marriage, you need to deal with it now. Because he's probably not seeing it that way - he's just seeing an innocent nickname with some co-workers he's friendly with. Decide how important this is to YOU, not a bunch of well-meaning people on an Internet forum, and work with your husband to resolve the problem in a way you can both live with.

    A few suggestions:
    - Have him invent a nickname that's special to the two of you that he will ONLY call YOU. That differentiates it from other more commonly used nicknames like "hon" and "babe" and "dear " and "sweetie" that are fairly commonly-used "social/non-intimate" nicknames. Then you've got a nickname all your own that no one else gets.
    - Ask him to change jobs to a company with a different, more formal "vibe". If he's in the restaurant/hospitality industry currently, that will probably mean a career change too.


    Most importantly, you have to pick a priority for this. Is this worth ending your marriage over, or is it something you can life with if you are reassured that they are just empty nicknames to him?
  • JACKYGETNMYBODYBACK
    JACKYGETNMYBODYBACK Posts: 91 Member
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    i call people babe, sweetie and dear, its just a habit and nothing personal, or somthing I can't remember your name
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    You'd hate it in Newfoundland. Everyone refers to everyone as hun, honey, sweetie, ducky, my doll etc lol
  • Just_G
    Just_G Posts: 73 Member
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    First off....it's completely enviornmental, at my professional job it's always "Ma'am or Sir". However when I bartend on the weekends: its all the above including "Sweets, babe, hun,toots, bro, bud". It's been that way for over 10 yrs. I act no different if my wifes around or not, I'm just being me.

    I'm 35 yrs old and have been with my wife for 16 yrs. Trust and Security are earned through time and communication. Sounds like you guys need a little more of both.
  • YummyTpn
    YummyTpn Posts: 339 Member
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    I think it's a boundary thing. You're his wife, not his girlfriend. He should only call his coworkers by their actual names. This clearly delineates that he is not available and those terms of endearment are for his beloved, and her only (or your children if you have them).
  • katielema
    katielema Posts: 8
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    Am I the only one that thinks that a husband should NOT be calling anyone but his WIFE "babe" and "hun"?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

    I think you should talk to him and let him know it bothers you. This is not a topic for an Internet forum, this is a topic that you and your husband should be reaching a solution on that best fits the two of you. He is speaking in perfectly appropriate terms from all the barkeeps and waitstaff I know, who call each other by pet names like that all the time. Not sure why, but that's the way it seems to be.

    If this is a big deal to you, then it's a big deal to your marriage. Make as big a deal of it as you need to satisfy yourself that the behavior either stops or you learn to accept it. But pick your battles, because he may have to change to a different job or alienate his coworkers by insisting on formality in an informal workplace.

    No anonymous Internet forum is going to resolve this because we're all in relationships with different rules. My wife worked for a company that had that sort of vibe going on, and while I thought it was odd I also did not feel it worth mentioning nor did I ever suspect she was cheating on me or anything, so I let it go at that. She and her coworkers seemed amused by the nicknames, and my wife and I have a relationship built on many decades of trust.


    Thank you!!! I'm not one for games - aside from my previous "spiteful" post.
  • katielema
    katielema Posts: 8
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    Wow I totally know what you're talking about. When a girl says "thanks sweetie" to my wife, like when we go through a drive thru and she gives her money, I FLIP *kitten*!!!! I get up in her face and ask her "WTF B*TCH? YOU CAN'T CALL MY WIFE THAT!!! IS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO? ILL FIND OUT! I CHECK HER TEXTS AND FACEBOOK AND TWITTER AND MFP AND FOLLOW HER!". She backed down quickly after that.

    When someone calls me hun or sweetie, I give them my phone number and wink.

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!! now that's funny!!!!!!!!

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