When You Cry... They Win. Stop.

gchutson

Ok, tough-love time...

I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.

Examples:
- "They insulted me."
- "They hurt my feelings."
- "They made me sad."

Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...

Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Steps 1 through 2.

(I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)

When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.


- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

Don't let them win.

_hi_hat3r_

This should be a stickie

Katbaran

Love this! It should be on every fat person's medicine cabinet mirror! Thanks for telling it like it is. :flowerforyou:

Assassins_Angel

couldnt agree more!! i too have had issues with people's tone towards me sometimes and have broken down because of it, i shouldn't have given them the satisfaction of it!!

but i can assure you, thanks to your comments, that shall not happen again!

gchutson

couldnt agree more!! i too have had issues with people's tone towards me sometimes and have broken down because of it, i shouldn't have given them the satisfaction of it!!

but i can assure you, thanks to your comments, that shall not happen again!

Sometimes the good guys wear black. And swear a little.

gchutson

Love this! It should be on every fat person's medicine cabinet mirror! Thanks for telling it like it is. :flowerforyou:

Me too. Especially if i get royalties for it.

BostonMatt

Amen and keep preaching.

tishajo

:laugh: I really did laugh out loud reading this. I couldn't agree more. I love this post!!

sho3girl

couldnt agree more!! i too have had issues with people's tone towards me sometimes and have broken down because of it, i shouldn't have given them the satisfaction of it!!

but i can assure you, thanks to your comments, that shall not happen again!

don't get mad .. get even!

don't think this advice is just about weight either ....

dad106

Love this!

mommy2AR

Exactly. Its best just to buck up and move on, when you react it does you no good.

Dauntlessness

Its funny how it works...

You have low self esteem >
You care what people think >
You start working out >
You eat healthy >
You body and mind starts to feel healthier >
You start accomplishing goals >
You lose weight!!! >
You start having confidence >
You don't care what people think anymore >
People start paying more attention to you not because your thinner but because you are finally being "yourself"!

Just sayin.

gchutson

Love this!

I try. Unrelated sidenote: I first saw your screen name of "Dad..." before I saw your picture and quickly realized that you must be using your initials, and not celebrating Father's Day on Sunday.

gchutson

Exactly. Its best just to buck up and move on, when you react it does you no good.

Or, make them turn the other cheek... so you can kick it.

ironanimal

I am in full support of this post. Mainly because I'm lousy at coddling and much prefer tough love.

VoodooLuLu

:flowerforyou:

gchutson

Its funny how it works...

You have low self esteem >
You care what people think >
You start working out >
You eat healthy >
You body and mind starts to feel healthier >
You start accomplishing goals >
You lose weight!!! >
You start having confidence >
You don't care what people think anymore >
People start paying more attention to you not because your thinner but because you are finally being "yourself"!

Just sayin.

Actually, when I'm being myself... most people are pissed and/or terrified.

Dauntlessness

Its funny how it works...

You have low self esteem >
You care what people think >
You start working out >
You eat healthy >
You body and mind starts to feel healthier >
You start accomplishing goals >
You lose weight!!! >
You start having confidence >
You don't care what people think anymore >
People start paying more attention to you not because your thinner but because you are finally being "yourself"!

Just sayin.

Actually, when I'm being myself... most people are pissed and/or terrified.

Haha, somehow I think your a lot nicer then you let on. If you took the time to write this post, yeah...I think so.

Ripcode

LOL! Nice!

Rjdj3530

I had the same thing happen to me after the birth of my first son. I was only 19 and so was the friend that made the comment. I bet she don't even remember saying it but I know now it was ignorance on her part. We were young and I guess she assumed, baby out tummy goes flat. LOL No! It took 9 months to stretch it out that way it's not going down in a few hours.

What you say is true and it is not always easy to shake it off. I have comments made to me from years ago that to this day ring in my head when I'm feeling down. For example: I was on the homecoming court my sophomore year of high school. Upon arrival at one of the many dress up ceremonies my escort looks at me and says "you look like Ms. Piggy". I am guessing because I had my hair curled and I wasn't tiny like alot of high school girls. I was a 10 I think at that time. 10 sounds great to me now!

swthrtsmrf

This should be a stickie

Agreed!

Must remind myself step 1 and 2 several times over in different life situations!

MelissR75

Exactly!! Im not the mushy, crying, need a hug kinda girl. I just say F'k off & move on!

Qarol

Hooray for perfect people and reacting perfectly every single time. :flowerforyou:

beebee0925

Love love love this. This was refreshing and I needed to hear this because I wear feelings on my sleeve sometimes. Thank you.

JenSmith1104

"Hey funny joke. Now, go get a spoon so you can eat my *kitten*."

This wins the internet. lmao

marnet12

"No one can make your feel inferior without your permission." E. Roosevelt

I would add that no one can make you feel anything. Only you control how you feel.

Nice motivation today!

Liasings

Oh. My. Sweet. Lord! This is great. People need to scratch their mad place and get glad. Nobody cares what a special snowflake you are. If someone says something that hurts your feelings, consider the source, then move on.

Maryaly40

Ok, tough-love time...

I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.

Examples:
- "They insulted me."
- "They hurt my feelings."
- "They made me sad."

Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...

Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Steps 1 through 2.

(I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)

When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.


- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

Don't let them win.

I think I'm in love

I needed this today, thank you :flowerforyou:

Leslie85

I can always count on you to make my work day a little more interesting :happy:

I completely agree with every word of it!

Misslisat

- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

Don't let them win.

I agree 100% and then some! This has been a tough one to overcome and I'm still working on it. It's not just for comments about weight. It can be a horrible boss at work or a co-worker who makes your life hell. It can be an ex who continues to 'get the best of you'. It can be your parents who are overpowering or even the opposite...show no emotion at all.

We're all here at MFP to strengthen our bodies and get fit. But strengthening our mind and attitude is just as important - it's a fundamental in our success.

dad106

Love this!

I try. Unrelated sidenote: I first saw your screen name of "Dad..." before I saw your picture and quickly realized that you must be using your initials, and not celebrating Father's Day on Sunday.

You are correct sir.. those would be my initials.

and it's better then what they would have been had my father named me.. He wanted them to be Sad instead of Dad.. and could you imagine that as a screen name?