When You Cry... They Win. Stop.
Replies
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lately when I get unwelcome 'advice' or comments, I just say, "Thank you, I'll give that the consideration it deserves" then I immediately forget whatever it was that was said.
Because it deserved no consideration at all.
Gonna steal that one :happy:0 -
This is so very true, and I am a more than little in love with you OP
It is all about power. One of my favourite response to insults "Sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *kitten*"
Or when they rant, wait until they run out of steam and then say "Hmmmmm? Sorry, could you run all that by me again I was thinking about <insert own subject> " I usually say Squirells :laugh:
But then I am lucky that my parents instilled in me a sense of my own self worth that has never left me and never will. I am awesome no matter what anyone else thinks or says :smokin:
SQUIRRRRRREL... Hmmmmm, you were saying?0 -
Ok, tough-love time...
I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.
Examples:
- "They insulted me."
- "They hurt my feelings."
- "They made me sad."
Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Steps 1 through 2.
(I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)
When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.
- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."
Don't let them win.
i love this gonna put it on my facebook.
Just give me credit. "G.C. Hutson"
And a burger.0 -
LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...0 -
its not always easy to do so though, and low self esteem is often a reason as to why people pile on weight in the first place. In an ideal world noone would care what others think of them, but in the real world we do. Sometimes writing a thread or venting on the web is a way of dealing, processing and rejecting others thoughts of you - like my threat, it was just a rant, i was hurt by things that had been said, not going to lie - of course I'm hurt because they are echoing what I already think about myself.
I'd love to be able to ignore everyone, but I'm not built that way, so I have to try and deal with it instead. Whilst I agree with you and your opening post, I do have to say that people shouldn't e bmade to feel rubbish about posting reference hurt feelings - this ,forum is here for motivation and support, sometimes support is just letting us vent and let go of those horrible voices in our own heads.
And sometimes support is teaching you how to take some of the power back from those who use it to hurt you.
LOVE0 -
Ok, tough-love time...
I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.
Examples:
- "They insulted me."
- "They hurt my feelings."
- "They made me sad."
Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
Please reference Steps 1 through 2.
(I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)
When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.
- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."
Don't let them win.
agree completely0 -
Love this. I needed to hear it.0
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- When you cry, they win.
- When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
- When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."
GOOD ADVICE!!!0 -
I seriously love bada** comments like this. I just want to look a those whiners (myself included occasionally) and say, "Hey, let's just chug on over to mamby pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence for ya you jack wagon!"
Merci gchutson.
That was my favorite commercial of all time!! Yellow makes me sad...
I feel like a broken record sometimes telling people to not care what other people think.. And no, it's not easy, but neither is anything else in life. Doesn't mean it's not something that NEEDS to happen.0 -
This is so very true, and I am a more than little in love with you OP
It is all about power. One of my favourite response to insults "Sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *kitten*"
Or when they rant, wait until they run out of steam and then say "Hmmmmm? Sorry, could you run all that by me again I was thinking about <insert own subject> " I usually say Squirells :laugh:
But then I am lucky that my parents instilled in me a sense of my own self worth that has never left me and never will. I am awesome no matter what anyone else thinks or says :smokin:
SQUIRRRRRREL... Hmmmmm, you were saying?
Oh my god now you are the grammer pleece, and pikking falt with my speling I am soooooo upset,
Bite me LOL0 -
I know you are very right on this. My situation is a little different in that I am recently divorced from a man I still very much love. He still plays with my emotions via text messages and phone calls. He knows it hurts me. You are right that I give him power in my tears and hurt. He seems to find some kind of sick joy in it. He texts me that he still fantasizes about me and then turns around and tells me about a date he had and the details. Just all very sad. Thanks for the post.0
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very like!!!!0
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Block his number. Problem solved.I know you are very right on this. My situation is a little different in that I am recently divorced from a man I still very much love. He still plays with my emotions via text messages and phone calls. He knows it hurts me. You are right that I give him power in my tears and hurt. He seems to find some kind of sick joy in it. He texts me that he still fantasizes about me and then turns around and tells me about a date he had and the details. Just all very sad. Thanks for the post.
Take away his power over you. You're divorcing him for a reason.0 -
I know you are very right on this. My situation is a little different in that I am recently divorced from a man I still very much love. He still plays with my emotions via text messages and phone calls. He knows it hurts me. You are right that I give him power in my tears and hurt. He seems to find some kind of sick joy in it. He texts me that he still fantasizes about me and then turns around and tells me about a date he had and the details. Just all very sad. Thanks for the post.
GIRL!!! You have got to stop accepting and responding to the text messages. AND refuse to listen to conversation that has anything to do with something other than divorce related topics. Yes, its hard to do, I've been there myself. Set your boundaries, and keep them!! Good luck to you!!0 -
LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
Cardio equal to tennis for the spanker, none for the spankee sadly
Plus, nothing like working out in leather to make you sweat out whatever water you might me retaining ... sadly the weightloss is only temporary. Chasing someone around the room in 4" heels is also great for your calves. 0 -
LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
Cardio equal to tennis for the spanker, none for the spankee sadly Plus, nothing like working out in leather to make you sweat out whatever water you might me retaining ... sadly the weightloss is only temporary. Chasing someone around the room in 4" heels is also great for your calves.
... you've given this some serious thought RESPECT !0 -
GC. I'd like to buy you a beer or twenty for this. Butthurtness is a one-way ticket to depression and a ****ty life.How do you shush the inner fat girl from the insults? Seriously, she insulted me yesterday when I was clothes shopping for the beach and I left the store in tears!
Negative self-talk is a bad habit that you can train yourself into, or out of. Treat your inner voice just like any other person who would say the same thing. So when your inner fattie starts snarking on you, say out loud "Shut the **** up" a few times.0 -
Gotta keep this in mind for those low days. Preach iiit. 0
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LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
Cardio equal to tennis for the spanker, none for the spankee sadly Plus, nothing like working out in leather to make you sweat out whatever water you might me retaining ... sadly the weightloss is only temporary. Chasing someone around the room in 4" heels is also great for your calves.
You had me at "spanker."0 -
love this.0
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I love this!0
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GC. I'd like to buy you a beer or twenty for this. Butthurtness is a one-way ticket to depression and a ****ty life.How do you shush the inner fat girl from the insults? Seriously, she insulted me yesterday when I was clothes shopping for the beach and I left the store in tears!
Negative self-talk is a bad habit that you can train yourself into, or out of. Treat your inner voice just like any other person who would say the same thing. So when your inner fattie starts snarking on you, say out loud "Shut the **** up" a few times.
AMEN!!0 -
GC. I'd like to buy you a beer or twenty for this. Butthurtness is a one-way ticket to depression and a ****ty life.How do you shush the inner fat girl from the insults? Seriously, she insulted me yesterday when I was clothes shopping for the beach and I left the store in tears!
Negative self-talk is a bad habit that you can train yourself into, or out of. Treat your inner voice just like any other person who would say the same thing. So when your inner fattie starts snarking on you, say out loud "Shut the **** up" a few times.
I don't drink, but reading the screen name "Saxmaniac' was thanks enough. Clever people rule.0 -
LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
Cardio equal to tennis for the spanker, none for the spankee sadly Plus, nothing like working out in leather to make you sweat out whatever water you might me retaining ... sadly the weightloss is only temporary. Chasing someone around the room in 4" heels is also great for your calves.
You might be onto something with leather workout gear.0 -
GC. I'd like to buy you a beer or twenty for this. Butthurtness is a one-way ticket to depression and a ****ty life.How do you shush the inner fat girl from the insults? Seriously, she insulted me yesterday when I was clothes shopping for the beach and I left the store in tears!
Negative self-talk is a bad habit that you can train yourself into, or out of. Treat your inner voice just like any other person who would say the same thing. So when your inner fattie starts snarking on you, say out loud "Shut the **** up" a few times.
AMEN!!
DITTO
... just don't do what I used too and give her chocolate 0 -
Sometimes the good guys wear black. And swear a little.
^^ Love this.0 -
Nice post! And, since this was the first post I read this morning, I'm thinking it should make for an interesting day.0
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LOVE IT!
No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.
Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
Cardio equal to tennis for the spanker, none for the spankee sadly Plus, nothing like working out in leather to make you sweat out whatever water you might me retaining ... sadly the weightloss is only temporary. Chasing someone around the room in 4" heels is also great for your calves.
You might be onto something with leather workout gear.
Does anybody remember Chyna, the female WWF wrestler? she had a workout DVD a few years ago where she did a lot of weights and a bit of cardio in leather shorts, it was called something like "Chyna, more than meets the eye" ... i'm not so sure it's a marketable idea, I do not recommend sweating in leather workout gear ;p YUCK.
I prefer latex for easy cleanup. (just kidding, lol, TEASING y'all)0 -
Thanks for the truth! With my nature, I find it terribly hard to break down and cry and let people know they've hurt my feelings. I consider the source and not allow them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me!
Haters will hate. It's like having a battle of wits with an unarmed individual!
Thanks again!0 -
Sometimes the good guys wear black. And swear a little.
Anybody else humming the Minor Threat song now? "sometimes good guys don't wear white"
::suddenly feels old::0
This discussion has been closed.
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