When You Cry... They Win. Stop.

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  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    You're absolutely right! Too long have I cared what other people thought of me. Over it!
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    its not always easy to do so though, and low self esteem is often a reason as to why people pile on weight in the first place. In an ideal world noone would care what others think of them, but in the real world we do. Sometimes writing a thread or venting on the web is a way of dealing, processing and rejecting others thoughts of you - like my threat, it was just a rant, i was hurt by things that had been said, not going to lie - of course I'm hurt because they are echoing what I already think about myself.

    I'd love to be able to ignore everyone, but I'm not built that way, so I have to try and deal with it instead. Whilst I agree with you and your opening post, I do have to say that people shouldn't e bmade to feel rubbish about posting reference hurt feelings - this ,forum is here for motivation and support, sometimes support is just letting us vent and let go of those horrible voices in our own heads.

    And sometimes support is teaching you how to take some of the power back from those who use it to hurt you.
  • engodwin
    engodwin Posts: 516 Member
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    LOVE THIS POST!!!!
  • bazaar1982
    bazaar1982 Posts: 159 Member
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    its not always easy to do so though, and low self esteem is often a reason as to why people pile on weight in the first place. In an ideal world noone would care what others think of them, but in the real world we do. Sometimes writing a thread or venting on the web is a way of dealing, processing and rejecting others thoughts of you - like my threat, it was just a rant, i was hurt by things that had been said, not going to lie - of course I'm hurt because they are echoing what I already think about myself.

    I'd love to be able to ignore everyone, but I'm not built that way, so I have to try and deal with it instead. Whilst I agree with you and your opening post, I do have to say that people shouldn't e bmade to feel rubbish about posting reference hurt feelings - this ,forum is here for motivation and support, sometimes support is just letting us vent and let go of those horrible voices in our own heads.

    And sometimes support is teaching you how to take some of the power back from those who use it to hurt you.

    true, and I'm not disagreeing that knowing how to let it go is a valuble skill, but for some of us its not as easy as it sounds, especially as (i said above) its often echoing our own thoughts, if you already think it about yourself, it hurt 200 x more when you hear it from another.
  • IrishHarpy1
    IrishHarpy1 Posts: 399 Member
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    LOVE this! :happy:
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    It's amazing what can happen when you take control of your own feelings and don't ALLOW others to diminish you. Don't play the victim. There is ALWAYS someone else you can blame for "making" you feel some way. People can't "MAKE" you do anything. You're grown *kitten* adults people! Act like it!
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    You're grown *kitten* adults people! Act like it!

    GC's fun with commas:

    - You're grown, *kitten* adults, people.
    - You're grown *kitten*, adults people.
    - You're, grown, *kitten* adults people.
  • skinnygirlinhiding
    skinnygirlinhiding Posts: 14 Member
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    I seriously love bada** comments like this. I just want to look a those whiners (myself included occasionally) and say, "Hey, let's just chug on over to mamby pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence for ya you jack wagon!"

    Merci gchutson.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    Whenever I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

    :P

    Whenever someone says something negative about me, I pull up my big girl panties and walk away. Or if they're really persistent, I use my big girl vocabulary, confuse them, and walk away.

    Unless they call me a b*tch. Then I thank them and walk away :D
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    I seriously love bada** comments like this. I just want to look a those whiners (myself included occasionally) and say, "Hey, let's just chug on over to mamby pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence for ya you jack wagon!"

    Merci gchutson.

    R. Lee Ermy is my f*cking hero. And it's GC Hutson, technically.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    so true. I always tell my daughter, "you can't control what some ahole says, but you and you alone control how you respond to it"
  • boldtsmith
    boldtsmith Posts: 120 Member
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    But if we all stop feeling bad, how are all the poor half-witted *kitten* going to feel? Shouldn’t we show some compassion for their need to make us feel inferior? :noway:
  • Gidgetfrombama
    Gidgetfrombama Posts: 24
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    Well, for starters... I think it would be perfect irony to wrote a post about whining sad people..then sign it with the screen name SAD. LOL MY initials are GTO. My dad did that on purpose.. Which is cool, because I think they are kick @$$ cars. (they older ones..not so much the new ones.)

    Secondly, I agree with the posters that said it's not always so easy. Esp if you are more sensitive than others and wear your heart on your sleeve. And the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?" False.especially when hurtful things are coming from your supposed loved ones.

    But this is where you have to chin up, and "fake it til you make it". It may take some time, but eventually you will find that you honestly DONT care about that anymore. And nothing defeats a bully like indifference to his/her efforts. Don't get upset in front of them, dont even get mad.. Just be indifferent.. "as if I give a tiny rats @$$ about anything you think of me. Good try though. Save it for later, in case u find someone that you CAN bring down."
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    Whenever I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

    :P

    Whenever someone says something negative about me, I pull up my big girl panties and walk away. Or if they're really persistent, I use my big girl vocabulary, confuse them, and walk away.

    Unless they call me a b*tch. Then I thank them and walk away :D

    Love this ! :)
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    But if we all stop feeling bad, how are all the poor half-witted *kitten* going to feel? Shouldn’t we show some compassion for their need to make us feel inferior? :noway:

    Sarcasm kicks *kitten*.
  • Liasings
    Liasings Posts: 150 Member
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    But if we all stop feeling bad, how are all the poor half-witted *kitten* going to feel? Shouldn’t we show some compassion for their need to make us feel inferior? :noway:

    Sarcasm kicks *kitten*.

    Maybe a telethon?
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
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    As a therapist I'd love it If only it were that easy. Hey depressed person, stop being being sad. Hey low self esteem person, stop giving a crap what others think or say and believe in yourself. Hey person with conflicting ideology, stop caring when someone offends you. Hey person with emotions, don't feel anything negative, just ignore it or bottle it up where this arm chair psychologist can't see it and be annoyed; oh wait I forgot he doesn't give a *kitten* enough to start his own whinny post.

    Posting in a forum, writing a blog entry, talking to a friend, all of these things are a perfectly healthy ways to deal with a negative experience. The danger is when people don't process those hurts and stop sharing and stop leaving their house, or start hording, or develop an eating disorder, or start cutting.
  • tdm2592
    tdm2592 Posts: 30
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    GC's fun with commas:

    - You're grown, *kitten* adults, people.
    - You're grown *kitten*, adults people.
    - You're, grown, *kitten* adults people.

    Haha...punctuation kills.

    Let's eat, grandma.
    Let's eat grandma.
  • aphrogirl2002
    aphrogirl2002 Posts: 36
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    I think I love you. Will you marry me? Lol.

    Well said!
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    this is definitely helpful :) luckily, i don't whine a lot but every time i "complain" i can keep this in mind. i'm very sensitive and i work on my reactions daily...i'm happy to keep this in mind though. i won't compromise being sweet, but i will toughen my backbone a bit :)

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