Ladies: Do you accept friend requests from guys on MFP?

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Replies

  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    I pretty much accept anyone who sends me a request, regardless of whether or not they send a message. I'm fairly active on the boards and people generally send me requests based on things we have in common, good advice I've given, etc. If they take the time to want to be my friend, I accept. Our individual goals may be different, but the basic goal of improving health is the same. I will offer support to anyone, and I accept support and advice from others.
  • hayleymc3
    hayleymc3 Posts: 128 Member
    I accept requests from both. I've been known to clean out my friends sometimes, though. If someone never updates, talks to me, or whatever, they go. I've been on MFP since 2010 (but took a long leave of absence). I want encouragement, not someone who is just creeping and never posting!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    i may be sorry for asking this but to all the women that said, "sure unless he is creepy!". so am i creepy? :p

    I dunno dude...the way you're hiding behind your avatar frame...
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    I do, why wouldnt I?, even if its not the same considering hormonal stuff and all, we all are here for support and with the same goal in mind. So yes, guys!.. send a request :smile:
  • zela
    zela Posts: 92 Member
    I don't like to friend request the ladies, just because I do not want to come off creepy, aggressive, or send the wrong message.

    Also do not want to cross the lines and get into attraction of opposite sex here. I spend my time here for specific goals and nothing will get in the way off that. I like to give advice though and help male or female with any questions so I try to remain approachable, that right there is a good feeling :)
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    i may be sorry for asking this but to all the women that said, "sure unless he is creepy!". so am i creepy? :p

    I dunno dude...the way you're hiding behind your avatar frame...

    hahaha ^ yeah man just readjust a little and you'll be fine and not shady looking
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    I didn't even know there were other guys on this website
  • workoutgirl23
    workoutgirl23 Posts: 267
    I do. Some of my best friends on here are guys. i don't mind. Girls can be friends with guys. i don't see a problem.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    no not anymore. seems like I get requests from males soon after making a comment in a thread about, say, sexy sleepwear, or orgasms, or something of the like. Kind of weirds me out. This isn't a dating site.

    I just don't want to accept male requests anymore, sue me!
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    Other guys use MFP?!?!
  • Chinadollpuss
    Chinadollpuss Posts: 19 Member
    Yes i would if guys did but only 2 guys have requested me, we are all here for the same goal in life and that is to be more healthy/Get healthy
  • damoonz63
    damoonz63 Posts: 4 Member
    r
  • damoonz63
    damoonz63 Posts: 4 Member
    Absolutely NOT! It's like asking to be assaulted.

    a little paranoid, aren't we? how, exactly is someone going to assault you through the computer?
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Oh it's also funny when I get a male request and then I go to his page and see that his friends list is comprised almost entirely of pretty girls.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    Oh it's also funny when I get a male request and then I go to his page and see that his friends list is comprised almost entirely of pretty girls.

    I would take that as a compliment
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Oh it's also funny when I get a male request and then I go to his page and see that his friends list is comprised almost entirely of pretty girls.

    Which is why I don't request women (VERY rare exceptions to this)...and it says so right in my profile.

    I am not a collector...and refuse to be labeled one :l.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    What an absolutely ignorant statement.

    Did you even read what she wrote?

    Did you?

    I'm giving her a reality check based on what she wrote and how she phrased certain things. It may be harsh and not really my business, but it's meant as constructive criticism and I only have the best intentions.

    I'm reminding her that she does have the power to prevent unwanted things from happening, and so does her husband. Avoiding contact with the other sex is never the deciding factor that will prevent you from cheating -- self-control and taking responsibility for your actions are.

    She has control over how much flirting she does, just as her husband does, and both can stop when it's getting too intense. Avoiding most contact with strangers of the other sex to prevent cheating is like saying that they have no control.

    I'm not telling anybody how to live their lives, just pointing out something and hoping it will prove useful.

    I guess you have never heard of innocent men being accused of sexual harassment? The first year my husband was a professor, a very nice fellow professor was accused of sexual harassment. He had no way to prove he was innocent! He said/She said. My husband has set guidelines to follow for several reasons. To protect himself from false accusations and from allowing a friendship to get too close, by setting up these boundaries he is protecting himself.

    You said I have control over how much flirting I do and I can stop when it gets too intense. I AM a married woman, I should not be flirting with other men. Why give off a signal when I have NO intention on following through with the act? When I flirt with a man, it is because I am interested in him. I should and I AM only interested in my husband. So, I do not flirt with other men and he does not flirt with other women....we do all of that stuff with each other. AND, this could be why we have a very strong and trusting relationship.

    Also, self control, the people that I have seen leave their spouses, usually left their spouse for someone that started out as a friend. So, while I have male friends and talk to men, I converse with men on these forums, I will not develop any personal friendships with men on here so I can make sure that a friendship does not grow into something more. And, even if you think you are in control, you can grow feelings towards someone. It happens every day.

    I think it is wise to set up boundaries for oneself. And I believe it is foolish to think, it will never happen to me. I have no problem with others have male and female friends on their FL. That is cool and they can do what they want. I just find it odd that when someone says that they do not have the opposite sex in their FL, they are attacked as "not having control" or having "trust Issues"

    AND, I need to say, that I would not be happy if my husband was flirting with other women or asking other women to send him special pictures through Email or text.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    What an absolutely ignorant statement.

    Did you even read what she wrote?

    Did you?

    I'm giving her a reality check based on what she wrote and how she phrased certain things. It may be harsh and not really my business, but it's meant as constructive criticism and I only have the best intentions.

    I'm reminding her that she does have the power to prevent unwanted things from happening, and so does her husband. Avoiding contact with the other sex is never the deciding factor that will prevent you from cheating -- self-control and taking responsibility for your actions are.

    She has control over how much flirting she does, just as her husband does, and both can stop when it's getting too intense. Avoiding most contact with strangers of the other sex to prevent cheating is like saying that they have no control.

    I'm not telling anybody how to live their lives, just pointing out something and hoping it will prove useful.

    I guess you have never heard of innocent men being accused of sexual harassment? The first year my husband was a professor, a very nice fellow professor was accused of sexual harassment. He had no way to prove he was innocent! He said/She said. My husband has set guidelines to follow for several reasons. To protect himself from false accusations and from allowing a friendship to get too close, by setting up these boundaries he is protecting himself.

    You said I have control over how much flirting I do and I can stop when it gets too intense. I AM a married woman, I should not be flirting with other men. Why give off a signal when I have NO intention on following through with the act? When I flirt with a man, it is because I am interested in him. I should and I AM only interested in my husband. So, I do not flirt with other men and he does not flirt with other women....we do all of that stuff with each other. AND, this could be why we have a very strong and trusting relationship.

    Also, self control, the people that I have seen leave their spouses, usually left their spouse for someone that started out as a friend. So, while I have male friends and talk to men, I converse with men on these forums, I will not develop any personal friendships with men on here so I can make sure that a friendship does not grow into something more. And, even if you think you are in control, you can grow feelings towards someone. It happens every day.

    I think it is wise to set up boundaries for oneself. And I believe it is foolish to think, it will never happen to me. I have no problem with others have male and female friends on their FL. That is cool and they can do what they want. I just find it odd that when someone says that they do not have the opposite sex in their FL, they are attacked as "not having control" or having "trust Issues"

    AND, I need to say, that I would not be happy if my husband was flirting with other women or asking other women to send him special pictures through Email or text.

    Do you have a sister?

    Seriously.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member

    Do you have a sister?

    Seriously.

    haha...no brothers! See, I have an over load of men in my life. Brothers, husband, 5 sons, sons' friends....I NEED a girl zone!!!
  • the_great_unknown
    the_great_unknown Posts: 194 Member
    I don't see a problem with it. One of the best people on my friends list is a male. He's also the only male, but I don't have a lot of friends on here. If you don't want to accept them, it isn't a big deal. Just don't accept them.
  • Mceastes
    Mceastes Posts: 303 Member
    Hell yes! :drinker:
  • nahid101
    nahid101 Posts: 18 Member
    How often do you delete people
  • outspan87
    outspan87 Posts: 98 Member
    I can also appreciate that at your tender age, you have very little experience with the world and how it works.

    Wow, that's the most condescending anyone's ever been to me in my short uneventful life :laugh: Congratulations, you set a new record! :drinker:
    It has nothing to do with preventing yourself from cheating (although, the BEST prevention is not putting yourself in the position to have to choose. Common sense 101). What you can't seem to comprehend, is that they ARE taking responsibility for their actions. They ARE acting with self control. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean its not happening.

    That's not the best prevention, it's just the best way to avoid the issue altogether. Obviously, setting boundaries in a relationship is hugely important. They decided to set what most would consider a strict boundary, and if it's working for them, that's fantastic. I'm not criticising the boundary itself, just the reason behind it.
    Again, I appreciate your intentions...but until you've walked more than a couple miles in other peoples shoes...you should probably remove that chip and stop being so judgmental. Not everyone defines trust as you do. That doesn't mean they aren't trusting. Not everyone defines their relationship as you do. That doesn't mean their relationship is flawed, or doomed for failure. They've kept it together for 24yrs.

    That's one less year than you've been ALIVE. I think that they know a bit more about how things work than you do.

    You're reading things that aren't there. I'm not being judgamental at all. I never said there was no trust in their relationship or that they were doomed for failure. I said, based on how she wrote certain things, that they think they have no control, and that this is not true.
  • outspan87
    outspan87 Posts: 98 Member
    I'm not familiar with the US school system... what do you mean by "causing problems?" Are you saying that female students in the US falsely accuse professors of sexually molesting them in their own offices? (I don't think that's what TinkrBelz was talking about, though).

    If that's not what she was talking about, I assure you her thoughts were running in a similar vein. Yes, female students have been known to bring false accusations against professors and teachers. It does not end there. Sexual harassments lawsuits ran rampant throughout the US for while, where the burden of proof rested with the accused.

    That is completely ****ed up. Ok, so forget the part about him leaving the door open.
  • outspan87
    outspan87 Posts: 98 Member
    I guess you have never heard of innocent men being accused of sexual harassment? The first year my husband was a professor, a very nice fellow professor was accused of sexual harassment. He had no way to prove he was innocent! He said/She said. My husband has set guidelines to follow for several reasons. To protect himself from false accusations and from allowing a friendship to get too close, by setting up these boundaries he is protecting himself.

    I've never heard of that happening in the country where I live, and it sounds really, REALLY messed up... but if that's the state of things in the US, then forget the part about your husband, I can understand that.
    You said I have control over how much flirting I do and I can stop when it gets too intense. I AM a married woman, I should not be flirting with other men. Why give off a signal when I have NO intention on following through with the act? When I flirt with a man, it is because I am interested in him. I should and I AM only interested in my husband. So, I do not flirt with other men and he does not flirt with other women....we do all of that stuff with each other. AND, this could be why we have a very strong and trusting relationship.

    You have control way before it gets to that point. If a man flirts with you, you can stop him and reject him right away. If an MFP friend pervs on you, you can delete him, just like any other girl does. In the message before this, you wrote:
    I am not going open myself up to something that could destroy our relationship (ie: chatting with men or having them on my FL and then talking to them too much or texting them, or eventually sexting them)

    What I'm saying is, you can stop things way before they escalate into sexting. Attractive women get hit on all the time, but they are very good at rejecting advances. The people who leave their spouses didn't do so because they were exposed to a lot of people of the other sex, they did so because there was something missing in their own relationship. You grow feelings toward someone when what you already have isn't enough. And it sounds like you're very close to your husband, so I believe there's no risk of that happening.
    I think it is wise to set up boundaries for oneself. And I believe it is foolish to think, it will never happen to me. I have no problem with others have male and female friends on their FL. That is cool and they can do what they want. I just find it odd that when someone says that they do not have the opposite sex in their FL, they are attacked as "not having control" or having "trust Issues"

    AND, I need to say, that I would not be happy if my husband was flirting with other women or asking other women to send him special pictures through Email or text.

    Yes, of course it's very important to set up boundaries, but I think they must be there for the right reasons. I'm not criticising your decision not to have males in your FL. I'm just trying to show you that the reason why you've been faithful and so close all these years is because you fulfill each other, not because you've successfully avoided temptation at all costs.

    All the best
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Do you have a sister?

    Seriously.

    Christ dude.. she is taken already. Nuzzeling is not gonna get you know where.

    Reading comprehension isn't your strong suit...is it? Which part of asking about a sister...compliment that it is...implies I want her? Which part of the absolute respect I've shown for how she and her husband handle their relationship was the part that confused you?

    Just let me know...and I'll be happy to clarify.
  • Tanyawhite30
    Tanyawhite30 Posts: 473
    I can`t handle men
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I can also appreciate that at your tender age, you have very little experience with the world and how it works.

    Wow, that's the most condescending anyone's ever been to me in my short uneventful life :laugh: Congratulations, you set a new record! :drinker:

    Thanks. And welcome to the world. When you put condescension out there...you're likely to get it spit right back in your face. You can backpedal all you like...and claim you weren't judging their relationship...but that's exactly what you did.

    Repeatedly.

    I'll reply to clarify later when I'm at a PC...but I'll leave you with this.

    Which part of their 24 years of happiness...makes you feel they need your unqualified opinion on anything they're doing? You were already shown you were wrong (based on lack of knowledge and experience...not your fault...but opening your mouth without it, is), yet you continue advising her...when in fact...you'd do well to listen instead.

    *shrug*

    I stand by my first statements.
  • destanicheri
    destanicheri Posts: 297 Member
    I accept from anyone really, encouragement is encouragement, but if they don't use the site or give any encouragement, bye bye!
  • xipow
    xipow Posts: 58
    I find this idea disturbing in that it is stereotypical, prejudicial, judgmental etc. As we all know, it is dangerous to generalize behavior of some to all in a group. We are all individuals and should be judged one by one.

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