ugh!! people judge quickly

sammyjowedeking
sammyjowedeking Posts: 116
in Chit-Chat
So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone
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Replies

  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Judge not lest ye be judged... right?
  • Julz2586
    Julz2586 Posts: 1,330 Member
    well that persons status is kindda stupid now isn't it because you two are married so don't let it bother you... if i was you... i'd delete that person.

    I lived with my partner for 5yrs before we got married
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    I think that it should be required as part of pre marital counseling that you need to live together for 3 months before getting married. I would be willing to be there would be less divorces. That towel that's left on the bathroom floor may be endearing the first few times but after picking it up for the zillionth time and telling your SO again not to do it grates on your nerves.

    I love this comic:
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
    I happen to be married (will be 13 yrs this month), but if I should ever find myself single again, I would NEVER marry a man who I didn't live with for at least 5 years first!
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    I am a quick unfriender on FB, if I dont like it, I dont look at it.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    Even if you are having sex while not being married, that's really no one's business but yours. I wouldn't even bother defending that position at all by saying "Well, we're married now, and just because we were living together doesn't mean we have sex", because really, if the decision was right for you, you don't need to put up a defense for it, other than saying "It worked/works for me."

    I have a child with someone I've been living with for about two years now, and we're not married. Never going to get married, actually. If people judge that, they know better than to openly let me know, because I don't offer apologies or defenses.
  • StrawberrySt
    StrawberrySt Posts: 235
    Are you sure it was directed at you? Or are you perhaps a bit sensitive about it?

    I would never marry anyone who I hadn't lived with first but I know people who have done things differently due to their religious beliefs. I don't judge them and I expect not to be judged in return.

    If this person was judging you or being mean on Facebook, I would send a message letting them know you don't appreciate comments like that directed at you on a public social media platform and let them know you will be deleting them as a friend.
  • Kathy53925
    Kathy53925 Posts: 241 Member
    well that persons status is kindda stupid now isn't it because you two are married so don't let it bother you... if i was you... i'd delete that person.

    I lived with my partner for 5yrs before we got married

    I agree. I lived with my husband for 4 months before the wedding, and that was in the mid 70's!
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Wtf who are they to judge? Jeez. You kinda have to live with someone to know what they're like etc. some people are just close minded.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    I am a quick unfriender on FB, if I dont like it, I dont look at it.

    I'm pretty quick IRL, too.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Cohabitation used to be illegal in Arizona (repealed in 2001). Worst move ever.
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
    I didn't live with my wife until we were married. Lot's of rough patches. But like my lifestyle change, I fought for my marriage. Best 10 years ever. Like all things, do what you want. No one should judge you. What works for one will not always work for everyone. Enjoy life.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Why look if **** bothers you?
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    Never get married before living together. Never.
  • BandedTriaRN
    BandedTriaRN Posts: 303
    I lived with my husband for several months (moved in together 2 or 3 days after we met). We talked about getting married before then (we met online). I tried to slow things down but now I wish that I hadn't wasted one second of time away from him and I am so happy we lived together then and now. People kept trying to bust us up (nutbars) but here we are 19 years later and still together (18 yrs married). We almost let them succeed at one time... all the stress from those people but we decided to cut them out of our lives and so much happier due to that.... I don't understand why people like to try to create stress in happy people's lives but don't let them do it to you!

    Stay happy and hoping you will be happily together forever

    PS: It's way more important what you and your husband think about yourselves than what some hypocrite thinks about you...right?
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    That seems dumb NOT to first!! (Haven't lived with a SO but am working on moving out with him by the end of the summer) By the thing s I have heard a lot changes when you are living with someone..
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone
    Was it directed at you? Are you sure about this? you are married now, when did this status happen? If it happened AFTER you were married who cares?


    I often post things that some people take as being personal and its not directed at them in particular but they figure it is because its close to their situation.
  • Bastiencade
    Bastiencade Posts: 81
    I don't really know what else to say besides, does it matter? Honestly, everyone has their own view of morality. Some people think you should wait for sex before marriage, some think you should test the waters before offering to stay with them your entire life.

    Divorce rates are over 50% nowadays, so I don't see how anyone can claim to *know* what works and what doesn't. It seems crazy to me that anyone would get married BEFORE knowing how living with the person is. To me it's like moving in with a best friend, it's either going to go great or completely ruin the relationship.

    Anyways, again, who cares? If it's not wrong to you then it doesn't matter what they say. "Unsunscribe" is right there for you!
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    My boyfriend and I just moved in together and we are definitely not getting married any time soon. What about people who never get married???
    I wouldn't want to marry someone unless I lived with them before. Living with someone is soooo much different.
    As well, I approve of sex before marriage as well (I forget that some people actually don't :p lol) sooo yeah.
  • DangerJim71
    DangerJim71 Posts: 361 Member
    I think it is a legitimate opinion and so do a lot of other people. If you don't like their point of view, it is a free country and you can unfriend them. Or if they really are a friend, you can ask them why they hold that opinion and maybe try to understand it.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    Aren't you the same chick who posted about getting married too young and wanting a divorce? Maybe your friends are trying to help but you are too thick to realize it.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Teenage drama
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    So you're saying you didn't have sex with your husband before you were married? And he married you anyway? Definitely a keeper!
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: me and my husband lived together for 7ish years before we where married. oh and we "did it" all the time....now we are married w/ children and dont realy "do it" any more, tell ur friend to "stick it" if you want, altho i doubt it was directed at you:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I got married before I lived with my husband cause I believe in marriage before sex but I won't ever judge someone else who doesn't.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I've lived with my boyfriend for 2 years. It's nobody's business but our own. His parents didn't like it, and mine certainly didn't like it but we did it anyway. We share rent, we split the groceries, and I take care of him because he has MD. It's a pretty sweet deal for both of us :)
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I got married before I lived with my husband cause I believe in marriage before sex but I won't ever judge someone else who doesn't.

    Finally, somebody who realizes that they shouldn't push their beliefs on others

    slowclap.gif

    (hope this works)
  • perdie7
    perdie7 Posts: 266 Member
    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Wonder what they think about the gay people who can't get married? Shall they just live their lives without any love or intimacy?
    Personally I think it's fine to wait or not wait, both are equally valid personal choices that shouldn't be pushed on others.
    My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years, and have lived together for 3. We haven't been able to get married for financial and health insurance reasons, but we consider ourselves as committed as a married couple.
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    It really depends. I moved in with my current husband before we got married, but I just couldn't bear to be away from him any longer. Here we are almost 3 years later :)

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