ugh!! people judge quickly
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I wouldn't buy a car before taking it for a test drive first.0
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So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....
I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone
Screw that person. Why would you not live with someone before you get married? (and don't hand me that religious crap). You have every right to be cross with this person, in fact, they have shown that they are pretty passive aggressive and you should delete them. Screw them.0 -
I can't imagine marrying someone before living with them. You need to know what you're getting yourself in for. Same goes for sex, IMO.
Word. Who wants to have sh!tty sex for the rest of their marriage?0 -
Closed minded people suck.0
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A lot of people are bad to judge because your sins aren't the same as theirs
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'"If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" '
How ridiculous.
How are you supposed to know if you can stand to live alone with someone in marriage unless you try it for at least a year first?0 -
It's kinda funny how some people are upset for getting judged for living together without marraige but are very critical/dimissive/patronizing of those who chose to not live together before marraige. Really, if you want to, go ahead. If others have a different view point whether it's based on religion or their personal preference, why not respect their choice?0
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statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.
Statistics are numbers and don't show anything. All we do is interpret those numbers and assign meaning to them based on our own preferences and biases.
Given the outrageously high divorce rate, I would venture to guess that there is far more going on than whether people lived together before marriage or not!
As for the original post: truly, life is too short to waste it caring what someone posted on facebook. It would be hard for me to take seriously anything someone posted about me on facebook, directly or indirectly.0 -
:laugh: Not quite there yet, but she's gotten to the point where she thinks it's fine to hang around when I want to have a pee.True love is when your SO brings you a roll of TP after you sat down before checking if you had any.
Lol my last relationship would consists of very important discussions while doing #20 -
Divorce statistics. Choose whichever source you want. They all say the same thing.statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.
What statistics?
Statistics can be made to say a lot of things. And while on the surface the statistics you mention (which I've also seen and am too lazy to search for) are accurate, they are also skewed, primarily by the fact that people who don't live together usually choose not to for religious reasons. People who hold those views are also more likely to not get divorced, even in horrible circumstances, due to those very same religious beliefs. So, while people who don't live together first might be less likely to divorce, it doesn't mean they have better relationships or happier marriages. Correlation is not causation. It would be wise to remember that when looking at stats of any kind.0 -
People need to get out of the stone ages - this is 2012. Living together isn't just to test the relationship waters, it's financially smart. The only people that I find really preeching that stuff are really religious people and you can't take what they say seriously if you are not believing the same thing.
Time to take them off your friends list if you know they are attacking you personally. Who needs that negative crap!0 -
I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.0 -
It's kinda funny how some people are upset for getting judged for living together without marraige but are very critical/dimissive/patronizing of those who chose to not live together before marraige. Really, if you want to, go ahead. If others have a different view point whether it's based on religion or their personal preference, why not respect their choice?
Most people have just defended liv ing together and said they don't care either way. That whether you choose to live together or not is your own thing but people shouldn't care which value you stand behind.0 -
What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.0 -
statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.
Proof? Link to the statistics? Bulls**t?
I've read this same thing, but with no statistics to back it up. If it *is* true, though, I wonder how many of them got married to fix problems in the relationship. (Same as people who are married that decide to have a baby to solve relationship problems. Not like either works, but people still have been known to do so.)0 -
Divorce statistics. Choose whichever source you want. They all say the same thing.statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.
What statistics?
Statistics can be made to say a lot of things. And while on the surface the statistics you mention (which I've also seen and am too lazy to search for) are accurate, they are also skewed, primarily by the fact that people who don't live together usually choose not to for religious reasons. People who hold those views are also more likely to not get divorced, even in horrible circumstances, due to those very same religious beliefs. So, while people who don't live together first might be less likely to divorce, it doesn't mean they have better relationships or happier marriages. Correlation is not causation. It would be wise to remember that when looking at stats of any kind.
Point.0 -
What kind of habits? (I'm genuinely asking by the way, not trying to argue or make a point or anything like that). I've lived with my fiance for a year now and in that year alone we've made a lot of changes (esp. financially with groceries, bills, and all that) but we still have a lot of separate things that I'm happy with for now but don't want to bring into marriage.I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.0 -
The biggest example I can think of would be finances.
What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.0 -
I don't understand people who think in broad generalizations like that. What's right for one couple may not be right for another. I lived with my fiance for a year & a half before he proposed...we both thought it was important to live together first. I'm pretty sure there are bigger problems in society than two unmarried people who love each other and live together and even have sex (gasp!). That being said, if both partners would rather wait until they're married, so be it. Whatever floats your boat
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What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
How do you develop 'single' habits living together? When my ex and I moved it, we actually combined a lot of our things and learned a lot about each other.0 -
Other people have different opinions, no one is going to agree with every single thing that you do.0
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I didn't read this. but ok.
Cut your hair and get a husband.0 -
The biggest example I can think of would be finances.
What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...
We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.
Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
I can understand things like life insurance and wills, but if you're living together you're already working on things like rent, utlilities and groceries.
This is unless you lived in seperate rooms, split the bills and bought only groceries for yourself. And that just blows my mind.0 -
Judge not lest ye be judged... right?
exactly....0 -
I don't understand people who think in broad generalizations like that. What's right for one couple may not be right for another. I lived with my fiance for a year & a half before he proposed...we both thought it was important to live together first. I'm pretty sure there are bigger problems in society than two unmarried people who love each other and live together and even have sex (gasp!). That being said, if both partners would rather wait until they're married, so be it. Whatever floats your boat
Point. I like this.0 -
I remember when my husband proposed to me, his buddies told him that he better live with me for a year first. I agreed with them! You really don’t know a person until you live with them.
I use my Facebook daily and there are always people on their complaining about others and I think some people just use Facebook to put others down to make themselves feel better. Anytime anyone posts a status like that, there will be people who will chime in and agree with it, which just reinforces the behavior.
You can’t please everyone all of the time, and it’s really not worth it to even try. As long as you are happy, that is all that matters.0 -
Oh Crap!My husband and i lived together for 13 years before we got married,and it was my 1 and only marriage!!!!So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....
I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone
Un friend that MEAN GIRL:)0 -
my world is totally different than yours. I have friends who oppose marriage on principle. Not monogamy, mind you. But marriage.
And....um....i thought your comment that just because you're living together doesn't mean you're having sex is funny...not your comment so much as the sentiment behind it that your friend thinks premarital sex is wrong. My guess is you're a religious bunch and that's cool. But for me, the idea that marriage is much of anything is silly- just considering the rates of divorce I see. I think my commitment to my partner is just as valid without the state interveneing (God is a different story, I agree. But I'm not getting into my personal beliefs about God anymore than to say I don't particularly think God is angry with me for having premarital sex).0 -
To be honest it would never cross my mind to do it any other way. In my head, you meet, you fall in love, you move in together, get married and have kids. In that order. But that is just MY opinion for some reason, but then, I have not been raised remotely religiously and nor have any of my family and friends, so no one would bat an eyelid at the thought of living together first.
But it is no ones right to judge at all in any way or make you feel bad for your choices. It's your life. Live it how you want!
Besides, What someone said above is spot on, it's ridiculous in the first place to assume living together = having sex. Because it is impossible to have sex anywhere else but a shared bed in a house you both live in!? HAHA!0 -
Judge not lest ye be judged... right?
One of the best quotes ever and words I live by!0
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