ugh!! people judge quickly

mcrowe1016

every opinion is a judgment. it seems that people only get upset about others making "judgments" when those opinions differ from their own. when the opinions agree then funnily enough no one is accused of being judgmental

OMG!!! I love you! Why doesn't anyone else seem to notice this! :flowerforyou:

vade43113

every opinion is a judgment. it seems that people only get upset about others making "judgments" when those opinions differ from their own. when the opinions agree then funnily enough no one is accused of being judgmental

OMG!!! I love you! Why doesn't anyone else seem to notice this! :flowerforyou:

Because, if everyone did... then the all arguments would be thrown out the window.... their would be chaos on the streets... kids will be eatting their greens, neighborhoods would be safe and adults would never lie...

if you didn't catch it, sarcasm alert...

It comes down to this, people don't want to think what it means to be judgmental... but we do it daily. People want themselves to be right.... period

Redbird99ky

I have posted in a commetn ebfore that I know this post is about me because me and this person had a private message going on about 30 minutes before about how I am not a christian and I am a horrible sinner for living with him before marriage, etc..... it may be a coincedence but I highly doubt it...

If you are indeed not a Christian, then whatever you do does NOT fall under the "rules" of Christianity. I apologize in advance for the person who claims to be a Christian and yet is judging you. We as Christians are not to judge nonbelievers, only to judge believers, and even then, with kindness and out of love, to keep them on track towards their eternal rewards.

We are SUPPOSED to live a life that is in keeping with our teachings (I do as I say I do) so that we can spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation, by example, by deed, and by sharing our testimonies of God's grace and mercy. A person who claims to be a Christian calling a non-believer a sinner is just wrong, not by what I say, but by what the BIBLE says. They aren't sharing the Gospel or the Good News, they are preaching HATE, which is the complete opposite of what we as Christians are about.

Jesus said it best with "The Great Commandments":
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

"Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)

Any Christian who is really walking the walk should know that EVEN WE are bums, screw-ups and sinners, but we have been saved by the grace of God and Jesus Christ, and THAT is why we try to live better, out of gratitude and love for our God and our Lord and Saviour.

I hope this helps, and may you know that God loves you.

vade43113

I have posted in a commetn ebfore that I know this post is about me because me and this person had a private message going on about 30 minutes before about how I am not a christian and I am a horrible sinner for living with him before marriage, etc..... it may be a coincedence but I highly doubt it...

If you are indeed not a Christian, then whatever you do does NOT fall under the "rules" of Christianity. I apologize in advance for the person who claims to be a Christian and yet is judging you. We as Christians are not to judge nonbelievers, only to judge believers, and even then, with kindness and out of love, to keep them on track towards their eternal rewards.

We are SUPPOSED to live a life that is in keeping with our teachings (I do as I say I do) so that we can spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation, by example, by deed, and by sharing our testimonies of God's grace and mercy. A person who claims to be a Christian calling a non-believer a sinner is just wrong, not by what I say, but by what the BIBLE says. They aren't sharing the Gospel or the Good News, they are preaching HATE, which is the complete opposite of what we as Christians are about.

Jesus said it best with "The Great Commandments":
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

"Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)

Any Christian who is really walking the walk should know that EVEN WE are bums, screw-ups and sinners, but we have been saved by the grace of God and Jesus Christ, and THAT is why we try to live better, out of gratitude and love for our God and our Lord and Saviour.

I hope this helps, and may you know that God loves you.

you are now my new best friend

bmiller211

my son and his girlfriend are moving in together tomorrow in California...we don't like it but it isn't our life!! That and the fact he wants to put a ring on it just can't afford it!!

RogerF765

Well in that case I'm going straight to hell because I've got 2 kids with my girlfriend and we've been living together for 11 1/2 years without the benefit of marriage....lol

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

Who do you think is less likely to live with a partner before they're married? Religious people. Who do you think is less likely to get a divorce if their partner turns out to be an asshat? Religious people. Correlation.

ironanimal

Well in that case I'm going straight to hell because I've got 2 kids with my girlfriend and we've been living together for 11 1/2 years without the benefit of marriage....lol

All seven circles are being kept toasty for you.

bm99

.

bm99

Well in that case I'm going straight to hell because I've got 2 kids with my girlfriend and we've been living together for 11 1/2 years without the benefit of marriage....lol

Is there a reason why you don't want to give your family the legal protection and stability marriage offers?

It's more than a fancy party and piece of paper... marriage is a very REAL and IMPORTANT legal contract. I would think you'd want your kids and a woman I assume you love to have that. It takes all of 15 minutes to sign the paper at the courthouse.

http://myfamilylaw.com/library/marriage/legal-rights-and-benefits-of-marriage/

Rhea30

statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

Who do you think is less likely to live with a partner before they're married? Religious people. Who do you think is less likely to get a divorce if their partner turns out to be an asshat? Religious people. Correlation.

Not necessarily. Myself including several friends of mine are atheist. We didn't live with our partners ahead of time and have very balance marriages. I do have friends that did live with their partners ahead of time as well, some turn out well some didn't, some of them were even religious. People who don't live with their partner first do so because they are still living their independent life for awhile and also want to know who they are which has nothing to do with religion.

_stephanie0

i moved in with my boyfriend after 3 months LOL we now have 2 cats too (been together 11 months now).... judge all you want im extremely happy haaha

Rhea30

statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

Who do you think is less likely to live with a partner before they're married? Religious people. Who do you think is less likely to get a divorce if their partner turns out to be an asshat? Religious people. Correlation.

I would like also like to add that the Bible Belt has the highest divorce rate, so that kind of goes against they are most likely to stay together.

bm99

i moved in with my boyfriend after 3 months LOL we now have 2 cats too (been together 11 months now).... judge all you want im extremely happy haaha

Keep raging against the machine...

Shannon2714

So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

My mom would have killed me if I DIDN'T live with AND have sex with my husband before we had gotten married. She was a virgin when she and my father got married and the sex was terrible and they weren't compatible to live with and they got divorced after a year and a half....

missemily1124

I'm a Christian and I disagree with people having pre-marital sex. I also think that living together before marriage (even if you aren't having sex) is too much of a temptation. Sex is such an intimate thing that should only be for people who are 100% committed to each other (through marriage). Just my two cents worth. I also believe that I have no right in judging others. Only the perfect Judge has the right to do that.

kacinace

They would hate me then. My fiance (then bf) moved in with me after 1 month of dating. We still aren't married (4 years later) though we do have a 16 month old child together.

kristirlk

I think that it should be required as part of pre marital counseling that you need to live together for 3 months before getting married. I would be willing to be there would be less divorces. That towel that's left on the bathroom floor may be endearing the first few times but after picking it up for the zillionth time and telling your SO again not to do it grates on your nerves.

I love this comic:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other

Amen! I think living together is a good idea. If you live together, there isn't much (if at all) that can be hidden. I lived with my husband and his children before we were married. (hint--married now haha).

bm99

As someone who got knocked up while living with my boyfriend while married to another man... I don't think I get to have an opinion on this.

But I will post a PSA about legal rights that come with marriage. There's a reason the gays want it so bad and it ain't bragging rights. Some basic info here: http://myfamilylaw.com/library/marriage/legal-rights-and-benefits-of-marriage/

ETA: You could do it in a courthouse and no one would have to know... you can still be "alternative" and "edgy" or whatever lol

ETAagain: A clip from the site: "...society treats the spouse as the most privileged party... This is an important factor when it comes to making medical decisions or receiving public assistance benefits on behalf of your spouse , or rights that would otherwise require a power of attorney... Social Security, disability and medicare benefits can all be paid to a spouse as can veteran and military benefits... insurance plans through an employer can normally add a spouse to the plan, a benefit that is not offered to unmarried couples... employers also extend bereavement leave to close relatives of your spouse and allow family leave to care for your spouse in the event they become ill or disabled... Marriage also gives you the right to sue on behalf of your spouse and gives you visiting rights if your spouse is in jail or the intensive care unit at a hospital . You cannot be called to testify against your spouse..."

EBFNP

Honestly, they have an opinion just like you do. It doesn't make them wrong or right. I am personally anti-cohabitation, since I believe it cheapens marriage itself. That is my opinion of course. . If someone says I should live with someone first to test it out first, I would think its crazy. Honestly, we live in a morally corrupt society, so everything is on the table..lol

WifeNMama

I have posted in a commetn ebfore that I know this post is about me because me and this person had a private message going on about 30 minutes before about how I am not a christian and I am a horrible sinner for living with him before marriage, etc..... it may be a coincedence but I highly doubt it...

If you are indeed not a Christian, then whatever you do does NOT fall under the "rules" of Christianity. I apologize in advance for the person who claims to be a Christian and yet is judging you. We as Christians are not to judge nonbelievers, only to judge believers, and even then, with kindness and out of love, to keep them on track towards their eternal rewards.

We are SUPPOSED to live a life that is in keeping with our teachings (I do as I say I do) so that we can spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation, by example, by deed, and by sharing our testimonies of God's grace and mercy. A person who claims to be a Christian calling a non-believer a sinner is just wrong, not by what I say, but by what the BIBLE says. They aren't sharing the Gospel or the Good News, they are preaching HATE, which is the complete opposite of what we as Christians are about.

Jesus said it best with "The Great Commandments":
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

"Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)

Any Christian who is really walking the walk should know that EVEN WE are bums, screw-ups and sinners, but we have been saved by the grace of God and Jesus Christ, and THAT is why we try to live better, out of gratitude and love for our God and our Lord and Saviour.

I hope this helps, and may you know that God loves you.

Exactly!

courtneyxjayne

I definitely feel like you should live with someone before getting married. You have to know what it's going to be like seeing someone every single day, more than in two hour intervals and whatnot.

kristirlk

I believe that you should live with the boyfriend/girlfriend only when you are seriously thinking about marriage. You will learn pet peeves, cleaning habits, etc when living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some which will make or break the relationship, better to find them out prior to marriage. With that said, I moved in with my now husband (and his kids) only a month after MEETING him.. (Although my family knew him.. I went through quite a bit prior to marriage and some now, but Im happy. That's all that matters. Do what you do and don't pay no mind to anyone else!

bm99

I believe that you should live with the boyfriend/girlfriend only when you are seriously thinking about marriage. You will learn pet peeves, cleaning habits, etc when living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some which will make or break the relationship, better to find them out prior to marriage. With that said, I moved in with my now husband (and his kids) only a month after MEETING him.. (Although my family knew him.. I went through quite a bit prior to marriage and some now, but Im happy. That's all that matters. Do what you do and don't pay no mind to anyone else!

I think it's better to have the mindset that annoying habits can be tolerated, fixed or worked through rather than something to "make or break" a relationship. If you get to the point of marriage you are probably pretty "in love"... the little things should take a backseat to what's really important (establishing the family unit for financial stability and procreating).

AllTehBeers

Honestly, they have an opinion just like you do. It doesn't make them wrong or right. I am personally anti-cohabitation, since I believe it cheapens marriage itself. That is my opinion of course. . If someone says I should live with someone first to test it out first, I would think its crazy. Honestly, we live in a morally corrupt society, so everything is on the table..lol

Exactly. While I don't agree with this entire opinion, I agree that no one is wrong or right. Just because I express and defend my personal opinion, doesn't mean I judge anyone for holding a different opinion. I don't mind having a debate about the why's and I keep it all respectful. I would never bash someone personally for holding an opinion but I will defend my own opinion until I'm proven otherwise.

I may hate your opinion, religion, culture or lifestyle but I will defend your right to express it.

sisierra

Never get married before living together. Never.

I disagree, might as well put everything to the test from before you're totally stuck with'em haha

gingerveg

I believe that you should live with the boyfriend/girlfriend only when you are seriously thinking about marriage. You will learn pet peeves, cleaning habits, etc when living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some which will make or break the relationship, better to find them out prior to marriage. With that said, I moved in with my now husband (and his kids) only a month after MEETING him.. (Although my family knew him.. I went through quite a bit prior to marriage and some now, but Im happy. That's all that matters. Do what you do and don't pay no mind to anyone else!

I think it's better to have the mindset that annoying habits can be tolerated, fixed or worked through rather than something to "make or break" a relationship. If you get to the point of marriage you are probably pretty "in love"... the little things should take a backseat to what's really important (establishing the family unit for financial stability and procreating).

This is very limited thinking. Marriage is anything you want it to be. There is not "one point" that we all have to get. There are atheist and theists who marry, childfree by choice marriages, open marriages, same sex marriages, sexless marriages etc. Theists may not like it but there is a great big diverse world out there and theists do not get to decide what constitutes marriage theists do not get to own marriage.

kennodogs

Who married Adam and Eve? Come to think of it, who was Adam's best man or Eve's chief bridesmaid? And all this time I was worried that eating an apple was the original sin.....

bm99

I believe that you should live with the boyfriend/girlfriend only when you are seriously thinking about marriage. You will learn pet peeves, cleaning habits, etc when living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some which will make or break the relationship, better to find them out prior to marriage. With that said, I moved in with my now husband (and his kids) only a month after MEETING him.. (Although my family knew him.. I went through quite a bit prior to marriage and some now, but Im happy. That's all that matters. Do what you do and don't pay no mind to anyone else!

I think it's better to have the mindset that annoying habits can be tolerated, fixed or worked through rather than something to "make or break" a relationship. If you get to the point of marriage you are probably pretty "in love"... the little things should take a backseat to what's really important (establishing the family unit for financial stability and procreating).

This is very limited thinking. Marriage is anything you want it to be. There is not "one point" that we all have to get. There are atheist and theists who marry, childfree by choice marriages, open marriages, same sex marriages, sexless marriages etc. Theists may not like it but there is a great big diverse world out there and theists do not get to decide what constitutes marriage theists do not get to own marriage.

Maybe you should tell a "theist" that. I am not one.

You are just as limited as you claim I am.

Marriage is not "anything you want it to be". Your relationship can be whatever you want it to be, MARRAIGE is a legal and binding contract that was put together with a very specific purpose. You choosing to live outside the norm does not change that fact.

Theists do not get to decide what marriage is, but neither do you. Legally it is what it is no matter who's signing the paper.

It must be AWESOME to be a liberal...

victoria4321

I'm curious as to how everyone dates. Is there any reason that so many people think you must live with a person to learn anything about them? Spending time with their family and with someone at their own house or apt often enough will give you a better idea of how that person lives.

Also how much trust is everyone lacking? You can ask questions, discuss future goals, etc. you don't need to be up someones butt to figure these things out. A marriage should be about building a new life together, new home and a new future. It must suck to have a nice wedding then continue dating exactly like it was before back in the same house with the same furniture and same everything. Why bother getting married then?