ugh!! people judge quickly

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  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    I wouldn't buy a car before taking it for a test drive first.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    So someone on my FB just made a status saying "If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" and this was meant towards me because before my husband and I got married, we lived together for a few months....

    I see nothing wrong with this! It does not mean we hare having sex just because we live together so stop judging and live your life and leave mine alone

    Screw that person. Why would you not live with someone before you get married? (and don't hand me that religious crap). You have every right to be cross with this person, in fact, they have shown that they are pretty passive aggressive and you should delete them. Screw them.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I can't imagine marrying someone before living with them. You need to know what you're getting yourself in for. Same goes for sex, IMO.

    Word. Who wants to have sh!tty sex for the rest of their marriage?
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Closed minded people suck.
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
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    A lot of people are bad to judge because your sins aren't the same as theirs ;)
  • rcc1988
    rcc1988 Posts: 125 Member
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    '"If you are not married yet, you shouldn't be living together" '

    How ridiculous.
    How are you supposed to know if you can stand to live alone with someone in marriage unless you try it for at least a year first?
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    It's kinda funny how some people are upset for getting judged for living together without marraige but are very critical/dimissive/patronizing of those who chose to not live together before marraige. Really, if you want to, go ahead. If others have a different view point whether it's based on religion or their personal preference, why not respect their choice?
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    Statistics are numbers and don't show anything. All we do is interpret those numbers and assign meaning to them based on our own preferences and biases.

    Given the outrageously high divorce rate, I would venture to guess that there is far more going on than whether people lived together before marriage or not!

    As for the original post: truly, life is too short to waste it caring what someone posted on facebook. It would be hard for me to take seriously anything someone posted about me on facebook, directly or indirectly.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    True love is when your SO brings you a roll of TP after you sat down before checking if you had any.
    :laugh: Not quite there yet, but she's gotten to the point where she thinks it's fine to hang around when I want to have a pee.

    Lol my last relationship would consists of very important discussions while doing #2
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
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    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    What statistics?
    Divorce statistics. Choose whichever source you want. They all say the same thing.

    Statistics can be made to say a lot of things. And while on the surface the statistics you mention (which I've also seen and am too lazy to search for) are accurate, they are also skewed, primarily by the fact that people who don't live together usually choose not to for religious reasons. People who hold those views are also more likely to not get divorced, even in horrible circumstances, due to those very same religious beliefs. So, while people who don't live together first might be less likely to divorce, it doesn't mean they have better relationships or happier marriages. Correlation is not causation. It would be wise to remember that when looking at stats of any kind.
  • vettle
    vettle Posts: 621 Member
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    People need to get out of the stone ages - this is 2012. Living together isn't just to test the relationship waters, it's financially smart. The only people that I find really preeching that stuff are really religious people and you can't take what they say seriously if you are not believing the same thing.

    Time to take them off your friends list if you know they are attacking you personally. Who needs that negative crap!
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
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    I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...

    We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.

    Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    It's kinda funny how some people are upset for getting judged for living together without marraige but are very critical/dimissive/patronizing of those who chose to not live together before marraige. Really, if you want to, go ahead. If others have a different view point whether it's based on religion or their personal preference, why not respect their choice?

    Most people have just defended liv ing together and said they don't care either way. That whether you choose to live together or not is your own thing but people shouldn't care which value you stand behind.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...

    We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.

    Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
    What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    Proof? Link to the statistics? Bulls**t?

    I've read this same thing, but with no statistics to back it up. If it *is* true, though, I wonder how many of them got married to fix problems in the relationship. (Same as people who are married that decide to have a baby to solve relationship problems. Not like either works, but people still have been known to do so.)
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who did not live together before marriage.

    What statistics?
    Divorce statistics. Choose whichever source you want. They all say the same thing.

    Statistics can be made to say a lot of things. And while on the surface the statistics you mention (which I've also seen and am too lazy to search for) are accurate, they are also skewed, primarily by the fact that people who don't live together usually choose not to for religious reasons. People who hold those views are also more likely to not get divorced, even in horrible circumstances, due to those very same religious beliefs. So, while people who don't live together first might be less likely to divorce, it doesn't mean they have better relationships or happier marriages. Correlation is not causation. It would be wise to remember that when looking at stats of any kind.

    Point.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...

    We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.

    Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
    What kind of habits? (I'm genuinely asking by the way, not trying to argue or make a point or anything like that). I've lived with my fiance for a year now and in that year alone we've made a lot of changes (esp. financially with groceries, bills, and all that) but we still have a lot of separate things that I'm happy with for now but don't want to bring into marriage.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...

    We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.

    Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
    What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.
    The biggest example I can think of would be finances.
  • caitles14
    caitles14 Posts: 89
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    I don't understand people who think in broad generalizations like that. What's right for one couple may not be right for another. I lived with my fiance for a year & a half before he proposed...we both thought it was important to live together first. I'm pretty sure there are bigger problems in society than two unmarried people who love each other and live together and even have sex (gasp!). That being said, if both partners would rather wait until they're married, so be it. Whatever floats your boat :)
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I have the other side of it. We did live together before we got married and would recommend a couple NOT to because...

    We had issues from the transition of going from roommates who are dating to husband & wife.

    Even though we got married, we kept the "single" habits we had formed while we lived together dating. It made it hard to develop "married" habits as a couple.
    What exactly do you differently living together unmarried and married? o.O I don't see why two rings can affect your behaviour so much.

    How do you develop 'single' habits living together? When my ex and I moved it, we actually combined a lot of our things and learned a lot about each other.

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