Don't Request Me

HappilyCyn

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

hikeout470

Very nice observations! It makes me wonder how many people are judging us in real life, not just about this site but all sorts of silly little subjects. I strive to not judge others. Interesting I have been very highly judged by some close peeps before, when looking back on it years later, it was seemingly a strange coping mechanism for jealousy. My two cents...

aim2befit

This made me smile. Well said :-)

megleo818

Yay, Cyn! I wanna be your friend!! :happy:

cbeutler

I have never denied a fr or deleted a friend, but when I see people who regularly net 200 calls or only eat 600 it makes me concerned for them. It's not my place to judge but I do comment once in a while. If they delete me I'm ok with that.

RobynMWilson

If I saw that I wouldn't request them. Let 'em think they have it all figured out. I'm here to help ppl from my own experience and to keep a food diary for the first time in my life to see where i can improve...they sound like "fitness snobs" and who needs them? I know what I'm doing. I lost 70lbs in the late 80s and kept it off! So I wouldn't want someone removing me b/c my computer crashed and I couldn't log in for 5 days. Forget them! There are plenty of ppl on here who want the support and accountability.

jppd47

If I saw that I wouldn't request them. Let 'em think they have it all figured out. I'm here to help ppl from my own experience and to keep a food diary for the first time in my life to see where i can improve...they sound like "fitness snobs" and who needs them? I know what I'm doing. I lost 70lbs in the late 80s and kept it off! So I wouldn't want someone removing me b/c my computer crashed and I couldn't log in for 5 days. Forget them! There are plenty of ppl on here who want the support and accountability.

well said

katejkelley

Very nice observations! It makes me wonder how many people are judging us in real life, not just about this site but all sorts of silly little subjects. I strive to not judge others. Interesting I have been very highly judged by some close peeps before, when looking back on it years later, it was seemingly a strange coping mechanism for jealousy. My two cents...

I love your profile picture!

taxidermist15

sorry, but im in the other boat,

I've just recently started denying friend requests (especially those with no message.. how the hell did you find me??)

mainly cause im not on really much anymore, and when i am, i do it to support my friends. I don't like lurkers.. whats the point of having friends if they just read your news feed, but dont look at your diary and give you suggestions?, and sometimes it just gets too many to keep supporting them all. however if there is a specific reason , if thy ywant info from a post i have written, i will gladly answer all thier questions and add them as a freind.

just my0.2

supplemama

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

You have a great outlook! I so want to be your friend

iroze

And then there's the opposite! People who will say, "Friend me, I'll support you! I'll be there for you all day, every day!" and then you never hear from them again

StrawberrySuzyQ

HappyCyn, feel free to request ME as a friend (if you need one). I don't expect you to comment on everything I post and I hope you don't expect the same of me. I'm here to cheer you on but I have a life and cannot spend all my time on here commenting on everything everyday.

But seriously, I'm willing to have people as friends who have similar goals or just need the support of someone. :flowerforyou:

Debbe2

Well said!

KarenAnnne

What a great attitude!!!! I will so be there with you. Anytime. Good Luck to all!!

amsohs85

Judgement is probably what attributed to alot of peoples weight problems to begin with!!!

I'm new here and i've noticed what you are talking about...i guess for some there is no room for those who don't think and act like they do. As i mentioned in a comment on another forum...not all of us are at the same point thus our goals may not be the same. We share a common struggle and no one should be unkind because another person is different in how they deal with that. Out in the real world those who have a weight issue suffer enough criticism...MFP should be a safe zone with helpful suggestions and support!!

SPNLuver83

I don't see what's wrong with people wanting want they want in their friends. Noone tells you in your everyday life that you HAVE to be friends with every single person that approaches you. If a weird creepy guy did that to you on the subway would you want to be his friend? Prolly not. Same idea applies on an online forum. If you find their choosiness offensive, well, then don't friend request them and carry on. I don't see the issue.

uglyhobo

"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"

I agree with these two. Unless you don't lift, are very short, or don't care about becoming skinnyfat/permanently messing up your metabolism.

jppd47

sorry, but im in the other boat,

I've just recently started denying friend requests (especially those with no message.. how the hell did you find me??)

mainly cause im not on really much anymore, and when i am, i do it to support my friends. I don't like lurkers.. whats the point of having friends if they just read your news feed, but dont look at your diary and give you suggestions?, and sometimes it just gets too many to keep supporting them all. however if there is a specific reason , if thy ywant info from a post i have written, i will gladly answer all thier questions and add them as a freind.

just my0.2

also a good point, i think it gos hand in hand though. the point of the friends thing is the social part. to talk and encourage, ask questions. or just BS. so its not really a all or none, but what works best for both parties

AbzRocks

I spend a lot of time trying to comment on everyone's progress everyday. I don't expect the same in return some of my friends comment on me once a week but people who don't comment on my progress at all I do delete. I like to give support but I need support back. There is nothing better than logging on to find someone has said "good job". I also delete if people use this site like Facebook, I'm here to lose weight and I'm asking for your help not to be added to a list and forgotten about.

uglyhobo

"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"

I agree with these two. Unless you don't lift, are very short, or don't care about becoming skinnyfat/permanently messing up your metabolism.

I won't actually remove anybody. They can do whatever the **** they wanna do.

jesusHchris

I deny friend requests. I like to comment on my friend's posts when they finish a good workout or log a good meal. When I have too many friends, the news feed is too clogged up and I miss posts from the people who are good about regularly supporting me.

Sure, I could "ignore" the posts from some people - but that seems like a jerk move as well. I'd rather have a smaller group of people either with similar goals, excellent knowledge, entertaining posts, or potential friends.

You can't please everyone.