Don't Request Me

Bobby_Clerici

I do not waste time with those who are not as into this as I am.
20% of the people cause 80% of the problems.
There is nothing wrong with being selective. Think about your life.
Do you want to be friends with everybody you meet?
Of course not.

MsQuida

Wow!! Un-freaking-believable!!
I am 2-days into this and right now, I feel like I am in this by myself (no support from friends and family) so I would really love some friends. I would love to request a few but I don't want to be "that girl" on this website. Any suggestions? By the way, I'm Ms. Quida from Texas...Glad to make your acquaintance!!

bellesouth18

To the OP--Well said. :happy:

Cocochickdeleted

I pretty much will accept any friend request I receive, but recently I DID put a disclaimer on my profile because I was getting friend requests from Pro Ana girls, and as a recovering anorexic myself, I prefer not to deal with people who think starving themselves is cool and have no intention of trying to get well. I am all about help and support, but like another poster said, I would prefer to know why I'm being requested as a friend, and legitimate FR usually contain a message stating how they found me or why they want to be my friend. So there are definitely two sides to every story.

Robin_Bin

Please remember that we're not all here for the same reason. Yes, we should all be supportive. But some people are here to lose weight, some to get fit, and others to gain weight or handle an eating disorder.

If you had an eating disorder, you might not want to "friend" someone who regularly boasts about eating under 1200 calories a day. Similarly, if you are not planning to eat "clean" you might not want to "friend" someone who keeps suggesting vegetarian options. Some people write to all their friends on a daily basis, so they only want 5-10 friends, who understand their goals.

I don't need 1,000 "friends". I like to know people before I call them friends. You can still send messages to people who aren't friends, you can share information on posts, you can even share your diary with people who aren't friends, if you want.

I'm on another site where someone said everyone should share their picture or they weren't using the site right. And other sites where you'd get chastised if you didn't check in every day. I just saw another post here where someone was scared to share her food diary because of the criticism she saw of others.

If this is to be a supportive site, it's important to accept that not everyone's the same, and some people will chose to use this site differently -- that includes different decisions about who to chose to "friend". And if someone chooses to make that decision clear in advance so that someone's feelings won't be hurt when they don't accept a friendship request, then that's a perfectly reasonable way to use this site. If you want more friends, feel free to go to the introduction topic and ask for more friends. I'm sure you can find as many as you want.

Enjoy!

dad106

I have something like that on my profile.. It says I'm trying to keep my friends list under 5 pages, and unless friend requests come with a message or I can see that we have similar goals, then it will be denied.

I don't find it strange... and it helps me realize if people actual read my profile or are just trying to collect friends.

I've added some without a message, and low and behold, they go awol after 2 days or I never hear from them.. and personally, I'd much rather have a group of friends that I can support and that support me, instead of just friend collectors.

asia_hanebach

I agree! The people that delete friends that haven't logged on for a couple of days confuse me the most. If they're not logging on, they're not clogging up your feed or anything.

Romans624

The only disclaimer I should put on my prof is I am not the most attentive friend. For one, I'm getting to have a lot of MFP friends. And two, its hard to get to know someone on here aside from PMing/forums. So, day after day saying "great job" or "keep it up" seems too ...little to me. Know what I mean? LIke I feel like I should have something more substantial to say to some people but it takes time to get to know people. I guess it is a little encouragement.... but I do see why ppl put a limit on number of friends. Hard to truly be a friend if you don't have time to check on 300 people you know?

fatgirlslove

I cap my friends at 150...It's too hard to keep up!

steffers96

I will say that was perfectly worded!! I don't judge anyone - if they want to be unhealthy and think thats the way to do things, so be it. As the sayin goes "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink". You can only tell them they're doing something unhealthy, and I would EXPECT a friend to tell me if I was doing something wrong. Isn't that the point??? The only thing I will say is that I don't have any male friends because my husband doesn't like that - but I've got like 70 friends on my profile and we all love to encourage each other!!

darrcn5

I don't find it strange or snobbish that people place restrictions on their friends here. They have every right to pick people who they think will be supportive of their journey and who they themselves can support. They want their friends to mean something on here, not just be a list of names like on Facebook.

TXGirl821

This is why I haven't really requested anyone that I didn't already know first this time around. I don't want to be judged for not starving or having too much to lose, you know?

Jflowwers

Yes.

builtforlife

The ones that bother me are the ones with a written paragraph decribing their MFP friendship philosophy......I don't give a ****. I totally hear you.

EDesq

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

This is DIFFERENT than Facebook in a LOT of ways, mainly because a LOT of people are VERY Serious about what they are trying to accomplish. It is NOT for the most part a "Popularity Contest'. Yes, there ARE Cliques (and they are usually open for any "surface" seeker. CYBER Cliques always seem like a JOKE to Me; someone with a Screen Name is afraid to "step" on the toes of another Screen Name, Very Low Confidence and Self Esteem.) But to really accomplish one's Goal (s) many want to be connected to people with whom they have something in common. ALSO, many have found out from EXPERIENCE that when YOU get to KNOW some of these people, it can be a "Bummer".

Personally, I don't think it is ANYONE'S right to question why someone has restrictions on whomever they choose to "Friend" or NOT...That's Personal Preference, just like one's hair style. If their guidelines don't FIT YOU...Move ON.

losermomof3

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

I was just thinking about this the other day. I saw that someone was venting...and someone said something like, I would love to watch you succeed, but I cant add you as a friend. I was like: are you flippen kidding me???!!!!

You said it very well!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!!

Meg177

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

What’s with the entitlement issue? My privacy settings are set a certain way and I only want certain people to have access. I suggest that if you encounter a person with whom you have something in common, send them a short note outlining why you want to be friends and request the friendship. They may or may not reciprocate.

Btw…you assume that everyone is on here for the same reason. That is not the case.

BandedTriaRN

One thing that I really don't like is when ppl friend you and they have their diary closed, no info filled out on their profile and no photo at all, not even of a cat or a tree... why be friends with that person cause I'm getting nothing in return at ALL?

People have the right to put any requirements they want on here for friends, you have the right to ignore or accept them also. You can't control other people... too bad but that's life lol

Thena81

i dont keep girls with EDs. sorry but i cant read about binging and purging and asking retarded questions like how long should i fast? what liquids are ok? comments like sucks that my mom forced me to eat and my most unfave is 17 to 19 yr old girls that want to weigh less than 100 lbs. i just cant! this is a fitness site, not a starve yourself site. wrong place for that. sorry, thats me

spike90

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!