Don't Request Me
Replies
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I'm not here to be social, I am here to lose weight. I only have a few friends on here, and I know all but 3 personally.0
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Thanks for your msg! I' like to be your MFP friend too!0
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I try to take on people who want to be friends, but my only requirement is be positive, even through your tough times. I hate reading negative posts. It brings me down. I know we all go through tough times, but getting caught in them sends you to a spiral of depression and defeat. I don't ever want to feel like that ever again. So if I see people constantly doing that, I delete them.0
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I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.
"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"
Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.
I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.
Really? I mean really?...so your happy to cheer on someone eating a dangerously low amount of calories per day? You gonna be supporting at the funeral too? And your happy to be friends with people who never log on? I know your topic means well, but I find it so obtuse as to be bordering on the flaming ridiculous.
Is it so much to ask to say 'hey, if you want my support and friendship, I expect you to act sensibly, show a modicum of determination and be serious about losing weight and changing your life'? NO!!! How long does it take to log on every day? minutes. I'm not asking for hours and hours of any ones time here. Similarly, I don't think it's too much to ask that people lose weight healthily and consistently...those eating less than BMR are not going to succeed in the long run and are either going to give up or yoyo along for the rest of their lives. If they can't work that out, then better they find other like minded idiots to go ***** about their weight with.
Most people, including me have little time to waste on idiots who see this site and app as either the latest weight loss fad or somewhere to pick up there latest partner. Neither am I a psychologist to counsel those who have full on eating disorders....they need help, but I'm not the one to be giving it.
MFP and my group of dedicated, funny and supportive friends have changed my life forever. I'm happy to support anyone who is serious, but would rather not waste my time on wasters who 'has to have a chocolate bar a day to stop myself feeling dizzy' as one newbie was trying explain to me last week. Not surprising really as she had eaten nothing else all day except for a handful of dried cranberries cause it was her sisters wedding next week and she was trying to lose 15lbs...in a week...with no exercise...please....0 -
I'm SUPPOSED to eat 1200 cals/day. I'm also not lifting. 1200 gets me a loss of approximately 1.3 pounds/week. Am I supposed to feel bad about this? I'm 5 feet tall for Christ's sake.
I have definitely removed people from my list for their promotion of disordered eating. Someone once told me (and on a day I had undereaten on account of a stomach bug), that I could have been under 500 calories for the day if I had just 'skipped that toast'. Are you kidding me?? I don't need that in my life, and it's not what I'm all about. I don't OWE anyone a spot in my newsfeed, nor do they owe one to me.
Sure, we're all here for the same reason, but we're all walking different roads. I like to walk mine with people who like the route I picked. It doesn't make anyone else a bad person, I don't think less of them for it, and I try not to be rude. Live and let live.0 -
My problem and the reason why I have a whole one friend is that people on here often times will read an article that is usually one-sided and inaccurate or that leaves out information and then BAM POW WOOSH they are transformed into certified doctors and dietitians. I've found that most people here don't know what they're talking about. Period. Don't want nor need their opinions because frankly that is all it boils down to. It's your OPINION that eating 1200 cals a day is detrimental. For every article you link me saying it's bad, I can link one that says it's fine. Likewise with anything else I read on here. Too much protein. Too little protein. Too much fat. Not enough water. Too many carbs. Blahblahblahskjf0
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My problem and the reason why I have a whole one friend is that people on here often times will read an article that is usually one-sided and inaccurate or that leaves out information and then BAM POW WOOSH they are transformed into certified doctors and dietitians. I've found that most people here don't know what they're talking about. Period. Don't want nor need their opinions because frankly that is all it boils down to. It's your OPINION that eating 1200 cals a day is detrimental. For every article you link me saying it's bad, I can link one that says it's fine. Likewise with anything else I read on here. Too much protein. Too little protein. Too much fat. Not enough water. Too many carbs. Blahblahblahskjf
ohmygod, THIS. A million times, this.0 -
Amen. I like some motivation from my friends, but an arrogant, domineering attitude is just going to turn me off. I know my limits and just because I can't do much now doesn't mean others should fault me for doing what I can. I like friends, not judges.0
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You my dear are a hypocrite,you talk about judging yet here you are judging. No where on this sites TOS does it say we have to be friends with everyone.0
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I treat online interactions the same way I do real life ones. Do I want to be friends with everyone I come in contact with? No, but I will be polite and interact with them. Same principle here. I accept or request friends who are like minded, similar viewpoint, etc. I deny or delete people I'm not meshing with. If I send a request and it's denied, I don't get all butthurt about it - I just assume that my profile/message/whathaveyou didn't fit what that person was looking for in a friend. Simple as that.0
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You my dear are a hypocrite,you talk about judging yet here you are judging. No where on this sites TOS does it say we have to be friends with everyone.
I am surprised by your statement, considering that you have realized you are God. True God lacks ego. Oops, I am judging again.0 -
I really have to agree with those that at times deny. In real life we don't want to make friends with everyone. When losing weight its good to chat with people who are the sane age, wanting to lose the same amount of weight. I do however love browsing at the message boards and replying to ome of the posts. Treat the site like we treat our food...everything in moderation0
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Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.
I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.
I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!0 -
Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.
I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.
I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!
1200 is perfectly fine. It's the minimum that MFP will set you to, but there is nothing unhealthy about it, especially if you're not doing a lot of weight training.0 -
Feel free to request me.
(to my many secret admirers/supporters)0 -
I spend a lot of time trying to comment on everyone's progress everyday. I don't expect the same in return some of my friends comment on me once a week but people who don't comment on my progress at all I do delete. I like to give support but I need support back. There is nothing better than logging on to find someone has said "good job". I also delete if people use this site like Facebook, I'm here to lose weight and I'm asking for your help not to be added to a list and forgotten about.
This is my philosphy exactly. I'm so tired of reading stupid FB style updates in my feed, and I am hugely motivated by the friends that I keep around. They are thoughful, insightful, helpful to me in the form of feedback and checking in with me.0 -
I can understand "please send me a message if you want to add me" but when I see "Don't request be because I don't want to be your friend", I will NOT add you. I see it a lot on people who have previously been huge and yeah, now they're total fitness successes and you should absolutely be proud of that. But the vibe you're putting out is "HAHA NOW I CAN BE THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT USED TO MAKE FUN OF ME!" Screw that. I don't want to be your friend.0
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Hahaha! I just came across the exact profile you were talking about!! Yet she's got a pic of her butt as her profile pic? And she has no problem accepting guy friend requests huh? Puhleese...if she thinks her fitness is superior to everyone else's, let her knock herself out. She's one of those know it alls anyway and who needs her as a friend?? lol0
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Well said. I can't believe people actually set such rules... I figure we should all be there for each other! I want to be your friend. I like your down-to-earth, realistic views! :happy:0
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We relish our power on here ! I don't ask to be friends with people who have too many rules. I remove people if I comment on them every day for a month or so and they never talk to me --unless their profile pic is real cute - like a cat or other cute animal :flowerforyou:0
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eh, some people are full of themselves. You don't need them anyways!0
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You my dear are a hypocrite,you talk about judging yet here you are judging. No where on this sites TOS does it say we have to be friends with everyone.
I am surprised by your statement, considering that you have realized you are God. True God lacks ego. Oops, I am judging again.
They merely stated a FACT and outed your hypocritical ways.
If you feel that their honesty is a terrible thing, that only reflects negatively on you and your intelligence.0 -
Just like in life, we gravitate toward people who share similarities. Thus, I tend to gravitate toward those who share my interest in weight lifting and eating more to lose.
Additionally, I believe in giving friends quality time. In order to do so, I have limited my friends. If a friend does not log in for a week, yes, I will drop them unless I know they are on vacation or something like that. By doing so, I will be able to add another friend.
You mention that you wonder how people judge people in real life and seem to feel that the refusing or dropping of friends is a judgement. Did you not judge those who do so with your original post?
One needs to be careful about judging others because, in many cases, when you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you.0 -
HI, I'm with you here, no friends so far, not a judgemental person, struggling big time with weight loss, if you friend me you will be my first friend on the site, I don't log in every day so not as committed as some on the site, but in this for the long haul0
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There's nothing wrong with eating 1200 calories a day if it's appropriate for your height, current weight & activity level. Unfortunately from what I've seen on sites like this, far too many people eat at that level & they shouldn't. It's usually people who are newer to weight loss. It's not their fault for not knowing you don't HAVE to eat so little to lose weight, & for every *kitten* on this site there are at least 2 other kind people who really do want to help.Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.
I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.
I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!
I have received plenty of great advice from unqualified people. Just because someone's not a scientist or dietician doesn't mean they're wrong. Give people some credit. If I read something here that I think might be helpful to me, I know how to look elsewhere to get more information on it. The info is even more helpful if people share a source to point me in the right direction.
But I digress...Nan_, since your profile is private none of us have any way of knowing if 1200 is the right level for you, but I have a calculator I can plug your height/weight/age into based on the Harris-Benedict formula & would be happy to do so.0 -
I spend a lot of time trying to comment on everyone's progress everyday. I don't expect the same in return some of my friends comment on me once a week but people who don't comment on my progress at all I do delete. I like to give support but I need support back. There is nothing better than logging on to find someone has said "good job". I also delete if people use this site like Facebook, I'm here to lose weight and I'm asking for your help not to be added to a list and forgotten about.
This is me exactly.
I just went through yesterday and deleted people who added me and then never said another word to me. I try to comment on everyone's diaries at the very least and people were not returning the favor. It was also just getting to be too much to comment on so many people.
Having a high friend count doesn't make you cool on facebook and it certainly doesn't here either.0 -
To me, if someone has a positive attitude, then I am happy to know them as friends online or elsewhere. I understand that some people have reasons for being specific, like they have a certain definition of health or certain goals, but I am more happy with a positive attitude than with some of the details. I tend to be into more health food, have been vegetarian for decades, but I am happy to have any sort of folks friending me--especially if they let me know why or where they know me from here. I think I'll go friend all the friendly people in this thread, if they let me!0
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I LOVE YOUR SPUNK!!! But you're Right... Thanks for keeping it REAL...0
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Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.
I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.
I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!
1200 is perfectly fine. It's the minimum that MFP will set you to, but there is nothing unhealthy about it, especially if you're not doing a lot of weight training.
In regard to the 1200 calorie question:
Go to fat2fitradio.com and figure out your basal metabolic rate. In order to do so, you will need to figure out your fat percentage, so use the military fat percentage calculator, get out you measuring tape, and figure it out. Do the BMR. Then look at the chart and figure out how many calories you should be eating for your activity level.
The reason why you want to do this is so that you are giving your body enough fuel so that it doesn't feel like it is starving. When the body feels it is starving, it will do two things to 'save' itself. First, it will lower your metabolism. Second, it will start using muscle for fuel.
Why muscle?
When sitting there on your computer, one pound of fat is burning 5 calories every hour. In that same hour, though, one pound of muscle is burning 25-35 calories. So your body will want to get rid of that which uses more energy, which is the muscle. It will start to break down the muscle to 'save' itself, leaving you with the fat.
Muscle is important because when you are exercising on that treadmill, that same one pound of fat is burning 5 calories. That same one pound of muscle is burning 125-175 calories.
So, the question is this: Wouldn't you like to preserve your muscle?
If you do, you want to figure what you really need as far as calorie intake instead of going along with what MFP gives you. If you are 5'8", burning 900 calories a day, weighing around 200 pounds, your basic calorie need for keeping the body going will be higher than 1200. Then add in the exercise and you will need some more calories because doing all that exercise is using fuel and without eating some of that back, your body will think it is starving.
You can change the macros for calories and percentage for proteins, carbs, fats, and other things to suit you. Now, you don't want to eat less than 1200 because that is the minimum calorie needs for the human body.
Which leads me to this.....
I will not take or keep as a friend someone who is losing weight in an unhealthy way. Eating less than 1200 calories a day consistently will just get you bumped off my friends list. It is not healthy, often leads to arguments between friends, and I will not encourage that kind of dieting by keeping that person as my friend.
My highest weight was 294 pounds. I am currently 174 pounds. That's a loss of 120 pounds. I didn't lose it eating less than 1200. I lift weight, walk my treadmill, etc. You can look at my diary if you want, but I do it the healthy way and expect my friends to be on the same keel as me.0 -
I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.
"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"
Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.
I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.
Very well stated. I think the only people that will not add as a friend are the ones whos screen names make blatant reference to eating disorders. I spent many years working in mental health and worked with so many kids with eating disorders. It hurts my heart that they are so taken by it that they promote it on a site that is geared to help people become HEALTHY. I want to save the world you know? but I just cant get passed that kind of stuff. I cant help someone like that over the internet.
Everyone else, request me as a friend. Im not particularly special but I post some funny stuff sometimes! And I do my best to help anyone that asks.
Dave0
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