Don't Request Me

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Replies

  • tracyface399
    tracyface399 Posts: 83 Member
    I couldn't agree more! Love your attitude! Feel free to friend me!!
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    No, we're not all here for the same reason. Some of us are here to lose weight, others are here to log their food, others are here to compete in figure competitions. No, I'm not going to accept any Tom, ****, or Sally that happens to shoot me a FR, just like I don't allow all my coworkers to be my friends. Whine all you want about the injustice of my being picky about who I allow in my life, it isn't going to make me like you any better.
  • spoonful
    spoonful Posts: 200 Member
    I could not agree more. It's like high school.
  • Manderator
    Manderator Posts: 28 Member
    This is what I'm saying! I don't see the point in having a gazillion friends. I do deny friend requests if I have no idea who the person is and they don't send a message with request saying why they want to be friends. Besides if I have a ton of friends I can't really be the support and encouragement that they need and that, to me, just seems pointless.
  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
    No, we're not all here for the same reason. Some of us are here to lose weight, others are here to log their food, others are here to compete in figure competitions. No, I'm not going to accept any Tom, ****, or Sally that happens to shoot me a FR, just like I don't allow all my coworkers to be my friends. Whine all you want about the injustice of my being picky about who I allow in my life, it isn't going to make me like you any better.

    You seem like a lovely person. Best of luck on your journey towards becoming a healthier person.
  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
    Feel free to request me.

    (to my many secret admirers/supporters)


    Wonderful. Now I can openly admire you!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question someone posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.
  • Ninalicious
    Ninalicious Posts: 3 Member
    Aw it makes me sad when people form 'elite' groups!
  • emrys1976
    emrys1976 Posts: 213 Member
    I delete ppl who consistently net/eat really low calories or who ruminate on eating disordered thinking. It's not because I'm judging them, it's because I'm trying to recover from EDs and it is hard to do that when someone is triggering me constantly.
  • grnice
    grnice Posts: 96
    I love to get friend requests and accept all friends. I have deleted some over time because they are inactive or their posts are just ridiculous but I like to accept everyone. It drives me nuts to see people say they are at their limit and aren't accepting new friend requests, how do they know they aren't missing out on someone great?
  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
    You my dear are a hypocrite,you talk about judging yet here you are judging. No where on this sites TOS does it say we have to be friends with everyone.

    I am surprised by your statement, considering that you have realized you are God. True God lacks ego. Oops, I am judging again.

    They merely stated a FACT and outed your hypocritical ways.
    If you feel that their honesty is a terrible thing, that only reflects negatively on you and your intelligence.

    Thank you for setting me straight. Best wishes!
  • chrissismone
    chrissismone Posts: 116 Member
    There is douchebagism everywhere you go esp here because some believe their own hype. What one does for them may not work for someone else. I only want wholesome but driven people. I normally don't go for the ratchet folks who type in all caps,or those who are rude throughout this site with their post--esp those who just like to be a killjoy. I like those who are educated,have goals and a plan and are making strides getting there. I also love those who are real about their journey and have substance to them. I have seen alot of those who don't and I know to ignore them because sadly they exist but your in control happily to acknowledge them or not.
  • juliekat1955
    juliekat1955 Posts: 67 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

    I don't understand either. Having lots of friends should be a good thing. JMHO
  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.
  • grnice
    grnice Posts: 96
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    Crap-ton? Is that an official weight and measures standard? I'm kidding, I know what you mean!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.
    Aside from the previously mentioned reasons, here are a few more -
    * When you have a lot of friends, it's difficult to keep up with all of them. For me, I like to interact with all of the people on my FL and, when you have a ton of friends, it's hard to do that.
    * Many people post how they achieved their goals in their success story, on their profile, or in their blog. You don't have to be friends with them to have access to that information. Many people (not me) also share their diaries. Once again, you don't need to be their friend to have access to that.
    * There ARE a lot of successful people who do accept friend requests. If you see one who doesn't, just move on. This site has a LOT of members - and a lot of SUCCESSFUL members - so just find someone else who does want to add you.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.
    The bolded part is what stands out to me in your comment, the fact that you interpret not accepting friends as a refusal to help others, when it's most likely just a line they have drawn so they can continue providing good support to the friends they already have. I've got several people on my FL who are not accepting new friends & they are some of the most active people in the discussion threads. What are they doing in the forums? Helping people.
  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.
    Aside from the previously mentioned reasons, here are a few more -
    * When you have a lot of friends, it's difficult to keep up with all of them. For me, I like to interact with all of the people on my FL and, when you have a ton of friends, it's hard to do that.
    * Many people post how they achieved their goals in their success story, on their profile, or in their blog. You don't have to be friends with them to have access to that information. Many people (not me) also share their diaries. Once again, you don't need to be their friend to have access to that.
    * There ARE a lot of successful people who do accept friend requests. If you see one who doesn't, just move on. This site has a LOT of members - and a lot of SUCCESSFUL members - so just find someone else who does want to add you.

    I think you missed my point, but thanks for the suggestions on making friends.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    there's loads of rude people on here. it's sort of depressing.
    are their lives really that bad they need to take it out on strangers?

    What is rude about trying to ensure that you have like minded friends on your FL?
  • Meg177
    Meg177 Posts: 215 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.
    Aside from the previously mentioned reasons, here are a few more -
    * When you have a lot of friends, it's difficult to keep up with all of them. For me, I like to interact with all of the people on my FL and, when you have a ton of friends, it's hard to do that.
    * Many people post how they achieved their goals in their success story, on their profile, or in their blog. You don't have to be friends with them to have access to that information. Many people (not me) also share their diaries. Once again, you don't need to be their friend to have access to that.
    * There ARE a lot of successful people who do accept friend requests. If you see one who doesn't, just move on. This site has a LOT of members - and a lot of SUCCESSFUL members - so just find someone else who does want to add you.

    I think you missed my point, but thanks for the suggestions on making friends.

    I think you, HappilyCyn, are the one who missed the point. I noticed, lol, your entire profile is friends only and your diary is closed:laugh:
  • Aurora76
    Aurora76 Posts: 53 Member
    I have deleted a couple friends because they hadn't logged in for over 6 months. It makes me think they gave up. I come here for support, not to have the most friends or to be the most popular.

    There is nothing wrong with being a little picky about who you allow to "friend" you.
  • SingeSange
    SingeSange Posts: 98 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

    LOL. I saw a profile like that last week! You're awesome to post this!
  • Meg177
    Meg177 Posts: 215 Member
    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    "Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
    "I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
    "If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
    "If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
    "If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


    Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

    I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

    LOL. I saw a profile like that last week! You're awesome to post this!

    She posted it but her profile and diary are closed:laugh:
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Could someone please tell me why I shouldn't be eating 1200 calories a day? It's been awhile since I first signed up with MFP but I thought that I let MFP suggest my calories for me, and it has me eating 1200 a day. Now I'm wondering if I set something up wrong and should be eating more? I thought 1200 was healthy but have to admit haven't done any research.

    I did lose the 20 pounds I wanted to lose but then injured my back and put it back on due to the modified bed rest, limited activity, and just snacking too much.

    I guess I'd better get off my lazy behind and do some research because I thought 1200 calories was fine! Thanks for any advice!

    1200 is perfectly fine. It's the minimum that MFP will set you to, but there is nothing unhealthy about it, especially if you're not doing a lot of weight training.
  • Nan_
    Nan_ Posts: 83 Member
    Oh, good to know. No, I'm not weight lifting, although I am thinking about it. Thank you!
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
    Agreed!
  • sdoldsMD2013
    sdoldsMD2013 Posts: 128
    Very well said!! When I see those profiles, I keep it moving because I definitely don't want them as my friend. This is a support network, not an "I'm better than you are" network!! Love it! Thanks so much for this!!!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    And then there's the opposite! People who will say, "Friend me, I'll support you! I'll be there for you all day, every day!" and then you never hear from them again :D

    LOL yes this happens alot, I've no idea what that's all about?!?!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Are you friends with every person in your community?
    I'm going to guess not - but, by your standard, the simple fact that you have something in common (location, for instance), you should be friends with every last one of them.
    Life doesn't work that way, though.
    We choose who we want to surround ourselves with, and that is OKAY.


    I lost a crap-ton of weight and have blogged about what worked for me or, if I have something helpful to add to a question posts on the forums, I will comment there. People who aren't my friends have access to those.

    Otherwise, my friends list is full of people who I consider... wait for it... friends.

    Yes, people who I actually feel like I have something in common with outside of just the "getting healthy" area. Some of my friends are lifters, others are runners, a few have a long way to go still on their weight loss, and a few others are trying to gain some weight.

    They all, however, share a similar sense of humor or have some other quality that makes us mesh well and, although I'm quite serious about my health, it's nice to know I can have fun while I'm getting/staying healthy.

    I am by no means inferring that we are to friend every single person on this site. As a new member, I was rather taken aback when reviewing peoples profiles with a long list of do's and don't for friends and people with successful stories that have stopped accepting friends and refuse to help others in the same manner they were likely helped. Everyone on here has the right to do whatever they please. I just wanted to understand the rationale behind the culture on this site because this kind of behavior is strange to me.

    Exactly, you are a new member. When you've been here a while you will understand. When you get a friend who eats 800 calories then burns 1300 every day and complains they aren't losing weight. When you get people who eat junk and complain. Those of us who have been here a while don't want to see people struggle and refuse to take the suggestions from successful people. It isn't us saying our way is the only way, it's us sharing the knowledge we've gained (usually over years) and dealing with someone who asks for help but doesn't take the suggestions.
  • brickhouse76
    brickhouse76 Posts: 146
    Well said, right on!

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