Positive comments on unhealthy diaries

ninelives58

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

Teliooo

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

vjrose

Pet peeve for me, folks just go through and stick a positive comment on every dairy that is under on their friends list, lol. Not me, if it sucks I just don't comment or if they trust me I'll pm them and say, "hey what's up"

queenofgrey

no one is good all the time. i think, as long as my pals are keeping within their goals & exercising, they deserve some encouragement. after all, it does take some courage to log junk food around these parts. i applaud them for being honest, even if their health choices could be a bit better.

Capt_Apollo

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

agreed. i'll call someone out if they barely make their daily calories and only make it because they had 2-3 sodas and junk food. especially if it is a regular occurance.

ninelives58

Teliooo - Um, this is a comment board. I'm making a comment. I'm not losing any sleep over it for pete's sake.

Impy84

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

and there ya have it.
shake your head and keep it pushing.
at least that person logged maybe it was a rough day and they'll do better tomorrow.

futuremalestripper

Pet peeve for me, folks just go through and stick a positive comment on every dairy that is under on their friends list, lol. Not me, if it sucks I just don't comment or if they trust me I'll pm them and say, "hey what's up"

I only comment if they eat something delicious that I'm jealous about. Like pizza.

ElizabethRoad

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

irishcanadianwoman

no one is good all the time. i think, as long as my pals are keeping within their goals & exercising, they deserve some encouragement. after all, it does take some courage to log junk food around these parts. i applaud them for being honest, even if their health choices could be a bit better.

THIS! We all need encouragement, and when friends post the truth on their down days, I know they need even more encouragement to help them along. Nothing succeeds like success!
I don't say, "Great food choices", obviously! But I do encourage! They do the same for me. Great MFP people!

caraiselite

probably because people don't actually read the logs and just comment.

akrnrunner

I'm there with you on the calorie thing. That bothers me. What they eat, not so much.

dsjohndrow

I skip them if there is a lot of junk in there. But if I could, I would say PE = pathetic effort! Because it's all about me, I don't even read others comments.

punkypenny

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

I understand what you are saying and I agree with you. However I think for a lot of people, just logging their food and being aware of their eating habits is a big deal and should be encouraged. So even though someone may have a crappy diet for right now, the congratulations may just be for the fact that they are here and took the time to log even though their diet may not be so good. That being said. When I see a diary, I'll look for the things I like about it an comment on that, like "good breakfast today" or "nice snack choices".

imjessly

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

I understand what you are saying and I agree with you. However I think for a lot of people, just logging their food and being aware of their eating habits is a big deal and should be encouraged. So even though someone may have a crappy diet for right now, the congratulations may just be for the fact that they are here and took the time to log even though their diet may not be so good. That being said. When I see a diary, I'll look for the things I like about it an comment on that, like "good breakfast today" or "nice snack choices".

I will pick out the positives too, at the very least i will say well done for logging, but i don't put a blind congratulations if its not really a great day. Everyone is at a different stage in this, for some step one is cutting back on something. Baby steps.

As for the comments about it being none of your business - at the end of the day, these are meant to be your online friends that you encourage and help on their journey. Trying to assist them in doing well, I feel is part of my business. If they don't want it to be, they can always make their diary private.

MrsR0SE

Sometimes people don't want to hear constructive criticism and find it patronising/judgemental etc, even though that's not how it's meant. It may be that you and this friend are just not 'a good fit', and if you feel you can't support them the way they want to be supported and they're not happy with the support you want to give, then perhaps the time has come to delete each other and move on.

Speaking from my perspective, I need those comments to keep me on my toes - it keeps me accountable and often makes me think harder about my choices during the day, knowing that they'll be picked up on later!

I also agree that it takes courage to log a day when you know you've made bad choices, but also it's quite easy to make a note to that effect to explain why you think the day went the way it did so that your friends and you (looking back) in the future can understand why the day went the way it did.

aleham

If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

murphmurph07

How do you see other peoples diaries?

LDM90

A lot of people don't have their diaries visible so when you see that your MFP friends were under their calorie goal for the day you're obviously going to say well done.

aleham

Also, being positive and commenting on what someone does RIGHT is a central part of constructive criticism. People need to feel encouraged and supported before they can listen to the cold, hard truth.

78brownie_wechanged

I'm never worried. That's their business and their business only. For me to sit back and judge them and their support is pathetic. No matter what they are being accountable for their food. Kudos for that alone.

kfitzpa

I'm sort of with you on this. If I see that somebody's diary is way under/over or they ate a lot of crap that day I'm not going to comment on it at all. But maybe some people just want to make sure people see that they're paying attention to their diaries/being supportive... who knows.

33neenaj

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

I understand what you are saying and I agree with you. However I think for a lot of people, just logging their food and being aware of their eating habits is a big deal and should be encouraged. So even though someone may have a crappy diet for right now, the congratulations may just be for the fact that they are here and took the time to log even though their diet may not be so good. That being said. When I see a diary, I'll look for the things I like about it an comment on that, like "good breakfast today" or "nice snack choices".

Ditto

zhanaolivia

I agree. There's a thread right now about how "judging diaries" is so wrong etc which is just silly. I mean, if someone is b*tching about someone having a treat one day, that's a bit excessive. But in general, if someone is consistently eating something that's bad for them, it's totally appropriate AND SUPPORTIVE of his/her MFPs to show concern/make suggestions for alternatives.
It comes down to actually being caring. If you don't care and just want to seem nice you'll be complimentary about anything someone does - most of them probably don't even look at the diary. I value the friends who actually take note of how I'm using up my calories so much more because it's helpful.
Then you have those people who have their diary on private. I understand being embarrassed about what you eat, but in this forum it's a bit of an unfounded fear. The whole point is that you don't have to say who you are, or where you're from, or show your friends, but you can still have personal support from people. And how are we supposed to know that "being under you calorie goal" isn't starving? People commenting "WTG!" on a post that says "_____ completed their diary and was under their calorie goal" when they'd eaten like 300cals in low fat milk is just wrong.

ninelives58

If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

k8lyn_235

funny because i was just having this issue a second ago.. and earlier this week. one of my friends on here had only eaten a cupcake for dinner and i said "only a cupcake for dinner?" (underneath a comment that was like, awesome job! or something) and she unfriended me. not saying no one has days where they don't eat dinner, but i didn't feel my comment was that harsh, but i guess i could've worded my comment nicer.

also, today i saw a diary with about 10 comments saying great job, etc, so i looked and they were 800+ cals under their goal. BUT i didn't say anything and just moved on. i agree, encouraging people to eat unhealthy is not "supportive" but we all do have off days and good for them for logging it, i suppose. however, if someone is eating unhealthy every day of the week, then that's another thing. either way, i usually don't comment on it and if their eating really bothers me, i just unfriend them.

ElizabethRoad

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

ninelives58

I agree. There's a thread right now about how "judging diaries" is so wrong etc which is just silly. I mean, if someone is *****ing about someone having a slice more bread than maybe necessary one day, that's a bit excessive. But in general, if someone is consistently eating something that's bad for them, it's totally appropriate AND SUPPORTIVE of his/her MFPs to show concern/make suggestions for alternatives.
It comes down to actually being caring. If you don't care and just want to seem nice you'll be complimentary about anything someone does - most of them probably don't even look at the diary. I value the friends who actually take note of how I'm using up my calories so much more because it's helpful.
Then you have those people who have their diary on private. I understand being embarrassed about what you eat, but in this forum it's a bit of an unfounded fear. The whole point is that you don't have to say who you are, or where you're from, or show your friends, but you can still have personal support from people. And how are we supposed to know that "being under you calorie goal" isn't starving? People commenting "WTG!" on a post that says "_____ completed their diary and was under their calorie goal" when they'd eaten like 300cals in low fat milk is just wrong.

Thank you Zhanaolivia - this was where I was coming from. Whenever I do comment (positive only by the way), I try to actually refer to something about the diary or the exercise or whatever, but not just blindly say "great".

Lisseth03

I try and eat healthy but that's not ALWAYS the case. I do give in sometimes, and I log in my junk and add a note "not the best food choices today I know" so I acknowledge the fact that I know I didn't do the greatest.
Also I don't comment on people's diaries that are closed, I don't want to say "good job for being under your limit!"when I don't know if what they ate was under 1000calories for example.

clh126

I see where you're coming from because I've seen diaries where it's not just a cheat day or bad day, but rather every single day is fast food, cake and soda and sometimes with two or three fast food trips. However, depending on the individual this may be an improvement. If they were drinking a 12 pack of coke each day last month and today they're only having 5 cans well then maybe a "congrats" is in order. Not everyone is going to "eat clean" overnight once they've decided to lose weight and to me it's pretty impressive that they diligently log those calories even though they know they will be judged for it. One step at a time

pdj1220

I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.