Positive comments on unhealthy diaries

SweetSammie

Maybe the people making the comments don't have the same food "morals" as you do. I normally make pretty positive comments, because I don't know where people have come from nutritionally, and they took the time to get on there, log and be honest.. that's just me. It's important to remember that everyone's definition of "good" is different.

Weight_less

If someone on here said something bad about what i eat I would unfriend them. I am here for support not looking for FOOD POLICE.

Totally agree.

ninelives58

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you just STFU. and lighten up please.

LOL, tell her.....

Oh yes, we all aspire to be that clever. Very telling when someone can't take any disagreement, isn't it?

There's a big difference between disagreement and personal attack. I'm all for a little back and forth banter on a topic, and I find opposing views quite interesting, but that's is not what your posts were about. I was trying to make light of it with my comment "what's wrong with a little validation", but you had to continue with your psycological evaluation of me and my intentions and to make comments as if you know anything about me. You don't.

beautybandit1

Wow... It's just a discussion people! There is no need to be nasty. Sometimes people just need clarification on what other people post on comments to help them understand things a little better. This thread alone helped me today. If I ever do comment on food journals, it will be on positive eating habits as to encourage them to continue on that trend. I usually only comment on exercise logs.

Minner_Tinner

Mm...

aleham

Wow... It's just a discussion people! There is no need to be nasty. Sometimes people just need clarification on what other people post on comments to help them understand things a little better. This thread alone helped me today. If I ever do comment on food journals, it will be on positive eating habits as to encourage them to continue on that trend. I usually only comment on exercise logs.

This.

Minner_Tinner

If someone on here said something bad about what i eat I would unfriend them. I am here for support not looking for FOOD POLICE. If I feel the need to eat a piece of cake I will and I do. I need some form of something sweet each day or I will not stick to my diet. I stay under my 1200 calories each day and I exercise. Oh and those sweets i eat each day hasnt stopped me from losing over 11 lbs in three weeks. So its none of my concern what someone else eats. If they dont lose weight its on them. I usually comment on the fact that they came in under their calorie goal and its a good job and I dont care if they ate a box of twinkies for the day. If they lose weight I also give them good comments. I dont look at peoples food diary because.... I just dont care what they ate. I let everyone view mine because I dont care what others think. If it is working for me then YAY. I hate the FOOD POLICE AND I WILL NOT BE ONE.

Then what are you even here for because clearly you aren't here for the support of MFPers! Seeings you care for noone's opinion, remarks, etc. Why come to a place of support if you're not willing or wanting any support??

Everyone can moan and complain about their lives and everyone jumps to their aid but the OP has a thought about Diaries and the claws come out?? Thank you to quite a few MFPers for showing true colors!

Kybelle132

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

Well...it is our business if they are our friend and have an open diary....why would you give positive feed back for a poor diet?? That is just counter productive...

BostonMatt

I like to look at the diaries when commenting but who am I to judge how someone else eats. Good bad or indifferent, they tracked their food and are being accountable for what they ate.

People could be eating their food for what ever reason they may have. Whether way over or way under, you never know what issue someone might be fighting. It could be an addiction or another form of an eating disorder. Sometimes people might be looking for a little encouragement to help keep themselves going. If you want to leave a comment about their food, do so. If you don't like it and don't feel like calling them out, just move on.

3ofmine

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

I would love to have someone look at my daily log and tell me the truth about it. Give me suggestions I don't go through and put positive comments on everyone though, and I wouldn't want someone to put great job or awesome on mine unless I really did do a good job. Also I agree this is a discussion board while we do need to encourage and motivate we also need to be held accountable.
Angel

FlaxMilk

I remember when I asked for an *kitten* kicking because I was doing so terribly. One of my friends said, "You didn't do everything wrong today. Think of all that you did right today." And I actually think that was the comment to turn everything around for me. Positive reinforcement is the most successful way to increase a behavior, and punishment is the least effective way to decrease a behavior. That's another reason I try to find a positive. I like when my friends give me compliments for my healthy day--it motivates me to do better. But putting my day down wouldn't change my eating, it would change my logging.

BostonMatt

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

Well...it is our business if they are our friend and have an open diary....why would you give positive feed back for a poor diet?? That is just counter productive...

I agree it is our business. It doesn't always have to be positive. It can be supportive as well. Saying good job on tracking can be just what someone is looking for. Sometimes asking if a friend is ok means a lot.

cgray

I'm probably one of those crap eaters. Lol. Maybe the people who post those comments are firmiliar with the person & what they are tracking. For example, I'm not on here to lose weight. I weigh 95 and have cholostrol close to 300!!! I'm adopted and both my HDL & my LDL are high so nautrally high levels could run in my biological family, we don't know. I've always counted calories but I never counted my saturated fats, my doctor asked me to use this program or one like it so that we could look at my saturated fat consumption on my next visit. Here's my point, to an outsider my diary may look like "crap" but the people who know me and know what I'm tracking may be posting positive affirmation because they know we're only looking at one thing. Does that make sense? Besides, I'm 35, no matter what anyone says on a website I'm going to do what I want. I'm sure that's the feeling of most people. I don't eat a lot of veggies, I don't like them, no matter what people post on here my mind isn't going to change. I'm still not going to like them. To see a real change in my eating habits I need to speak with a profession who knows me, who has done lab work and who I can speak with face to face. I understand your frustration, but I don't think the people posting those comments are doing any harm.

bjshields

Be careful what you put on these boards. As you can see from some replies, you are likely to get skewered. As to diaries I just quit looking cause the same thing bugged me.

ninelives58

Be careful what you put on these boards. As you can see from some replies, you are likely to get skewered. As to diaries I just quit looking cause the same thing bugged me.

Yep. I fully expected it. I've been on here nearly a year and have seen this skewering you are referring to many times.

JWB42

WOW, we're supposed to look at their food diary and THEN say something supportive???? I've been doing it all wrong. I just see that an MFP friend has logged for x amount of days, or were @ or under their calories or exercised then I say something encouraging. I don't see what they've eaten.
I think we all need to support each other. If someone IS eating poorly but is under their calorie goal, they know it, they chose to do it, hopefully they will choose better next time.

Kybelle132

personally im here to have my *kitten* kicked.. if I am eating crappy.. i would hope one of my friends would say.. Yo.. knock off the crap..
or even hey.. instead of pizza, have you tried eggplant pizza.. or other suggestions..

maybe just me.. but i really want to get my diet better, lose those nasty last 20/30 pounds and look ripped.

THIS....I wouldnt be here if i didnt mean business...I dont take this lightly at all...taking it lightly and being babied is what got me FAT in the first place!!!

IrishHarpy1

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you just STFU. and lighten up please.

*wild applause*

Been waiting to hear someone say that for a LOOOOONG time. :flowerforyou:

Back to the subject at hand: I agree with you. But, I also think that some read through the newsfeed, see something that *might* look positive, comment, and move on. I even had people congratulating me for losing weight after I had already reached my goal -- even after I had commented that I wasn't happy with that.

megsmom2

Maybe the people making the comments don't have the same food "morals" as you do. I normally make pretty positive comments, because I don't know where people have come from nutritionally, and they took the time to get on there, log and be honest.. that's just me. It's important to remember that everyone's definition of "good" is different.

Agree! If I give a general positive comment, its directed at my friend just being here, logging in, and doing the best they could today. I'm not perfect, neither are they. But we are here, and deserve some props for that. If they ask advice or have questions, then of course I will offer some, but I'm not their mother. (Except for one friend....I AM her mother). If anyone was to to all Food Nazi on my diary...instantaneous unfriend. And I would expect nothing less from them.

cristaine

I think it depends on the person, for some people simply staying WITHIN their calories is amazing and very difficult. So for them that IS a victory. Some people are simply not (and some may never care to be) at the macro-managing stage. We are all at different stages of our journeys and even on very different journeys. Now, there is no disputing that eating more whole foods is probably optimal for our health, but I am not sure that we should be judging what other people are eating or why other people are supporting them.

Sometimes, being accountable even when you fail a day is a massive victory and a wonderful first step in making lasting lifestyle change for the better, but that will still be by their choices and their own interpretation of what they want THEIR lifestyle to be, whether anyone else shares those ideals or not.

To someone eating low carb, a high raw fruit and vegetable diet would not look good at all. To a vegan, a high animal meat diet looks repulsive. Know what I mean?

I do agree with your sentiment however as I see people purposely starving themselves (with excuses and reasons usually) and getting a lot of "propping" support. I don't question the support itself though, because I think people are genuinely (usually) trying to be supportive and help others on their journey. *shrug* I think we are just bothered by the things we are trying to focus on changing in our own lives, which is pretty normal probably.

SorchaRavenlock

I look at my friends' diaries to get meal ideas and to support them, not to judge them. It's not up to me to tell them to eat clean or to eat back their exercise calories, or anything else for that matter. I always take a peak when they finish their diary, and I'll post a "well done" or similar if they stayed at or under their goal (I don't care about net). Heck, I'll even post something positive if I know they've been struggling that day and ended up going over, since they stuck with it and logged it.
Most of my friends do the same for me. We support each other when people ask questions or post that they are struggling, but we don't pick each other's diaries apart. I suppose I'm just lucky with the friends I have

ElleBee615

:noway: @ some of the comments!! LOL


Ummm....well, I feel a certain kind of way about unsolicited advice regarding my diary (which is why folks that I VALUE their opinion/advice can view it)...otherwise...who the hell are you (not literally you OP) to say whether someone is eating crap...I think the positive comments on unhealthy diaries are to say, at least you logged it and that's being held accountable...which is HUGE for some of us that do mindless eating!


I'm here for support...not for some random person I really don't know 'calling me out', like some of the comments I've seen. :indifferent: If they log crap...they know it is...you're not telling them anything new boo boo.

Anywho...if the person eats crap and you're annoyed folks are putting positive comments, unfriend them....surround yourself with folks that eat just as healthy as you are. Problem solved. :happy:

dfborders

I really think each person should comment as they want and let the chips fall where they may. Personally, if someone tries to give me constructive criticism - I will probably unfriend them. I don't mean to sound rude but I have had issues with my weight my entire life - I know what I am supposed to be doing - but if I have a bad day and still log all my food and then post it - that is a huge step for me. If you can't understand that then you and I probably are at different levels and I don't need to hear/read your comments. This is about ME not YOU!! Anyways, just my thought - I saw a lot of support comments reading this thread but saw a lot of people commenting on this thread who are obviously at a different point in this process than I am and I wouldn't appreciate there contrsuctive criticism comments on my diary.

debussyschild

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

I have to agree with other posters that being able to share opinions or thoughts like these is the purpose of the forums. I, too, have had the same thoughts that the OP addressed in her post. As have most of us since many of us have commented on this thread, either to offer their insights, or, as in your case, to pass judgment on her post. It's a conversation, albeit *slightly* controversial, but a conversation nonetheless. Users on MFP should be allowed to feel comfortable posting their thoughts in the forums without fearing undue criticism from other users. I've seen other users use the forums to discuss anything from who's hotter to abortion. Why the heat?

On the topic, I comment on diaries only occasionally. I would feel a bit taken aback if someone commented negatively or criticized my diary, but it is open and can be viewed by my friends. I think positive comments encourage MFP users to post and to get in the habit of simply logging their food. That is a challenge in and of itself for most people. I think constructive criticism should be withheld unless you've made personal contact with that user and there's a level of trust. And certainly, I would appreciate any criticism (positive or otherwise) of my diary to be put in a PM so that, while I'll appreciate it, I won't become unnecessarily embarrassed by it.

BuckeyeLife

Pretty surprised so many people are actually supportive of the positive reinforcement of poor habits. I know negatively commenting on them isn't very useful, so I don't... But to actually defend the general "GJ" on an under calorie day without paying any attention to what it is, that seems insane. I just assumed the great majority of people don't bother to actually look, but it seems there are more people who just really don't care if you did a good job, just that you were under a number. I guess the ends do justify the means and such...

I don't post on anyone's page when I see their calories are under. I look at diary and go "Good or bad." When they have a bad day, I look to see the other stuff and I will comment about Keeping up the good work and getting back to what they were doing. But if I see someone who claims to eat more, has been "sick" yet regularly eats a monstrous 800 calories a day for a couple weeks+, I call bs and am not supportive. I'm not into positively reinforcing bad habits, and it amazes me when others are quite willing to do so. Ultimately I just only visit people's diaries anymore who I know put in the best work day in and day out.

ninelives58

Just to be clear, I have never and I would never post negative comments on someone's food diary. So I agree that that is a no-no unless specifically asked for feedback.

TheOriginalGinging

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

My best pals are the ones that notice and comment on specifics of my eating. They're there to help me and I value their comments. I had low calories one day and a pal asked if I was feeling OK--I wasn't. ninelives58 is a caring person--not nosey.

minkakross

I log my food like a religion but I never hit the complete button and frankly I never comment on my "friends" diaries. I don't really see it as any of my business what they eat if they are happy with their results who am I to judge, if they aren't they will be able to use their diary to reflect on what to change. It's a rare person who can be shamed into change most people have to come to it on their own. then again depending on their age and metabolism they could eat a lot more "junk" then I could and get the same results so I'm inclined to live and let live.

3ofmine

personally im here to have my *kitten* kicked.. if I am eating crappy.. i would hope one of my friends would say.. Yo.. knock off the crap..
or even hey.. instead of pizza, have you tried eggplant pizza.. or other suggestions..

maybe just me.. but i really want to get my diet better, lose those nasty last 20/30 pounds and look ripped.

THIS....I wouldnt be here if i didnt mean business...I dont take this lightly at all...taking it lightly and being babied is what got me FAT in the first place!!!

OH YES...COMPLETELY AGREE bad choices TO OFTEN is why I ended up a fat butt in the first place
Angel

jedibunny

My diary is open because I asked for people to help me get ideas a while back, and I just left it that way. If someone comments on a day where I only ate popsicles and donuts and netted 1000 cals with a "good job," I'm not going to unfriend them, but I'd rather they didn't comment if they weren't going to read. If I had a bad day, I had a bad day. The great part about most of my friends is that they DO read the log first and THEN say something (and if it's a bad day, they'll say something to the effect of "you'll kill it tomorrow!").

I personally won't comment unless I read the log. As someone else inferred, congratulating a crappy diet isn't why we're here. I'm also more likely to comment on a log that DOES NOT say "and was under their calorie goal" because that's usually when people need the support - one of my friends went over yesterday, for example, but ate well almost all day and had one chocolate bar which pushed him over. He was depressed about it. I posted to tell him how well he did and that everyone needs chocolate now and then.

Slightly off topic, but this irked me a bit: to the person who "manages to stay under 1200 and IS NOT FOOD POLICE" - I hope that you educate yourself a little more about your body and its needs. I don't know where you started from, your history, or your goals, but there are a lot of people on here who will gladly help you get a better idea about nutrition if you only allow them the chance -- and they won't even be "policey" about it. I'm glad that your current methods are working for you, and lord knows I'd like to lose 11 more pounds, but starving your body won't help you for much longer - and that's what you're doing if you constantly net under 1200 (unless, perhaps, you're 5'1").

To the OP: I wouldn't feel bad about asking this question. People here just need to chillax.
:flowerforyou: