Positive comments on unhealthy diaries

CarriLu123

I think the biggest thing people on this sight forget is we are all in our on phase of becoming healthy. I made my diet private because of comments. I may have eatin Panda Express but I had a third of the amount I would have a month ago. I might have a late for breakfast but I didn't have the 2 doughnuts I would have had a month ago. For many of us just getting control of the amount of food we take in is hard enough. For me I know the only way I will win this race is with baby steps. Now its calories control next is food choices. You don't have to say good job say good for you for logging or if it makes you feel better don't say anything.

Romans624

I think sometimes people just see:

"So and so is under their goal"

GREAT!

Next person to encourage....


I see the issue though. I am trying to more regularly examine the diary to make sure that I am not encouraging something that will be unhealthy if they do all the time. Like you, I won't bring someone down. I just want to give them props for the positive. I am doing a low carb diet and sometimes I am full at 600-1500 calories. Depends on the day and largely on what I eat. I just made my diary public to friends, and I realize that even with the disclaimer on my profile I may come to regret that. (FYI, I have over 100lbs of fat that can be burned before I go in starvation mode, so I don't think I'll starve


The other Really Important thing to remember,

Is that there is no one standard way to eat. Mediterranean. Paleo. South Beach. Weight Watchers. Cabbage soup. LOL. Some are better than others some are terrible. BUT they might have a medical reason for doing what they do, and are not obligated to broadcast their medical issue if they don't want to. They might be recovering from food issues, and keeping that to themselves. They are doing the best they can. I think there is so much info on here I don't see how a person can not know what info is "out there". They have to decide for themselves what is right for them and no one is perfect in their choices either.

AddictedtoAerosmith

I find your thought process utterly annoying. You sound like a you spend too much time on here, assessing other people's intake. You are supposed to be supportive and encouraging. I love my MFP peeps as they have gotten me to where I am today. You should consider gettting a hobby, I'm just sayin'

CarriLu123

double post

bpetlock

I didn't even know you could look at other people's food diary. I feel like that's kind of an ivasion of privacy. What I eat is my business. I am only hurting myself if I eat unhealthy foods so why should that even be posted as a public thing. I can see how that would be annoying though. Being prased for eating unhealthy foods is silly, however, I wonder if the people who do that really even know that the person has eaten unhealthy foods all day. Like I said I didn't even know that was an option. I just assumed that no one was able to look at your food diary.

bluebird321

The fact that someone is actually taking the time to log their food is awesome, so I try to focus on that. Everyone has their own truth/path to what they are looking for, and I figure they will eventually get it if they keep coming back.

KrazyAsianNic

Weight loss can be a long process. It's none of your business what other people eat and what not. But maybe the person who has the unhealthy diary is just beginning the journey. It is a big step to start recording everything. Maybe then they can look back and start making the correct changes they need. That's what my doctor told me a couple years ago when I was beginning to lose weight on yet another journey. Just record what you eat and look back later to see what changes have to be done. Just hope that when they do look back, they're realize the things you see want to change it.

bpetlock

This is true. We are all working our way toward being healthy. It takes a lot of discipline to eat healthy every day!

bpetlock

I am having problems quoting other people. How do you do that? Please help!

Teliooo

Why bother even posting this if it isn't any of your business. Just ignore it and move on.

Well...it is our business if they are our friend and have an open diary....why would you give positive feed back for a poor diet?? That is just counter productive...

She was the one that actually said it wasn't any of her business...

and to note. All together i have lost over 120 pounds since i started weightloss. I do alot of exercise and i am pretty fit. My diiary is open and is very much not perfect but I am a balanced eater who has good and bad days. I disaapear sometimes because life is busy or I fall of the wagon. For some, what they eat now is probably 10x better than what they did. You may not know the back histroy but those people congratulating them may know or just be saying that for the sake of it. If someone made a comment that was a bg negative about my eating, i would be upset as they personally do not know me or my struggles with food. To where I am now is amazing. I think you have to delve deeper than just looking at a diary.

Just unfriend these people and don't gve it a second thought.

Ayirela

I know I'd personally love if people wrote down on a comment the bad choice I may have made and what they would suggest to be put after. I have only started using this site since Sunday (almost a week yay)...even though I signed up in March and never used it.

So I think you can be honest with people if you want to be just don't be rude about it. Maybe say something like nice job staying under your goal, but maybe tomorrow try replacing X with Y to cut down on your sugars or fats or whatever it is you notice they are eating and shouldn't.

Some people are here and still learning and that is probably why they accepted your friends request to begin with. I have no one on my friends that tells me to replace anything, but like I said I would love it if they did. I could be doing all sorts of things wrong and just not know it.

bpetlock

Just to be clear, I have never and I would never post negative comments on someone's food diary. So I agree that that is a no-no unless specifically asked for feedback.

I feel like you made it clear that you meant no harm. Just some outloud thinking. I think that maybe people just aren't realizing that others have eaten poorly when they comment about the calories that they've consumed. It's so hard to understand people on forums like this because things can be taken out of context. I wish we would all take that into consideration. I'm sure that you meant nothing by it!

keesh1123

I find it crazy that ppl are attacking the OP by claiming that she is attacking others. Personally, I rarely comment on my friends diaries unless I see that they barely ate any food that day and/or it's becoming a consistent pattern.

People may say, "well, why do you care so much about what someone that you don't even know is eating?" Well, if you have any heart at all concerning the human race as a whole, I would think that you would want the best for ppl who are clearly trying to be healthier and may not know what you know! If you see someone going in the wrong direction, why not offer to help them? Maybe because ppl have become some uptight and offensive that they can't even receive genuine care and concern from others?

People always say, "if a person is eating crap, they already know that they are eating crap and don't need you to point it out". This is not always true, they are a number of things that I used to eat, but because I was uninformed, I had no idea that they were considered "unhealthy".

swhite1209

If someone on here said something bad about what i eat I would unfriend them. I am here for support not looking for FOOD POLICE. If I feel the need to eat a piece of cake I will and I do. I need some form of something sweet each day or I will not stick to my diet. I stay under my 1200 calories each day and I exercise. Oh and those sweets i eat each day hasnt stopped me from losing over 11 lbs in three weeks. So its none of my concern what someone else eats. If they dont lose weight its on them. I usually comment on the fact that they came in under their calorie goal and its a good job and I dont care if they ate a box of twinkies for the day. If they lose weight I also give them good comments. I dont look at peoples food diary because.... I just dont care what they ate. I let everyone view mine because I dont care what others think. If it is working for me then YAY. I hate the FOOD POLICE AND I WILL NOT BE ONE.

Then what are you even here for because clearly you aren't here for the support of MFPers! Seeings you care for noone's opinion, remarks, etc. Why come to a place of support if you're not willing or wanting any support??

Everyone can moan and complain about their lives and everyone jumps to their aid but the OP has a thought about Diaries and the claws come out?? Thank you to quite a few MFPers for showing true colors!

LOL, so ur attacking me for my opinion. I didnt attack anyone. I said how I feel about my situtation. I eat good. I have something sweet everyday though. My diary is open because I have nothing to hide. The reason I use MFP is to chart my exercise and my calorie intake. I chart everything. If people are going to be judged on their food diary then some will just not put certain things in and now who is that hurting if they fear judgement. For me I do not care what others think of my eating. Thats for me and my doctor to worry about. I have a few friends that asked to be added for encouragement and thats what they will get from me. If they ask for my opinion then i will give it. But I will not judge others. Its not my place.

rextcat

to the op whats it to you?

fmbomzo

I don't comment on diaries that I can't see. If I can see the diary, I sometimes point out healthy choices that were made. If I know that the person wants honest feedback, I may offer more specific feedback.

What another person logs has no bearing on my weight loss. I personally like feedback on my diary, especially if there are things that can be improved. I have good days and I have crappy days.

I actually try not to look at too many people's diaries because it makes me feel bad because I tend toward more frequent meals and so I have several line items in my diary each day. Others seem to have very few items per meal and very few snacks.

YoYo1951

bump

twiztc

I know I'd personally love if people wrote down on a comment the bad choice I may have made and what they would suggest to be put after. I have only started using this site since Sunday (almost a week yay)...even though I signed up in March and never used it.

So I think you can be honest with people if you want to be just don't be rude about it. Maybe say something like nice job staying under your goal, but maybe tomorrow try replacing X with Y to cut down on your sugars or fats or whatever it is you notice they are eating and shouldn't.

Some people are here and still learning and that is probably why they accepted your friends request to begin with. I have no one on my friends that tells me to replace anything, but like I said I would love it if they did. I could be doing all sorts of things wrong and just not know it.

totally agree
i started this as an app on my phone just to track my calorie intake and burnoff- i never realised there was a whole site with ppl that have already gone through a lot.
if i didnt want it to be anyones business i'd have kept it to myself - im here for any help anyone can give me and if that means i have to suck up a blunt honest suggestion or criticism i will

Romans624

I think it also depends on how well you know the perosn, whether you've had good convos and a connection and feel that they will take it the right way.

Because if they don't take it the right way, it won't be effective.

OnionCookie

I don't comment because of what they ate in their diary. I don't tend to read food diaries unless I get permission to do so, if I'm asked to, or if I'm looking for food ideas. I'll say "good job logging" even if it's crap food because they actually logged it and held themselves accountable.

*edited because of an awkward sentence.

kmende2

THIS! We all need encouragement, and when friends post the truth on their down days, I know they need even more encouragement to help them along. Nothing succeeds like success!
I don't say, "Great food choices", obviously! But I do encourage! They do the same for me. Great MFP people!

So True!

threnners

probably because people don't actually read the logs and just comment.

Bingo!

NoAdditives

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

agreed. i'll call someone out if they barely make their daily calories and only make it because they had 2-3 sodas and junk food. especially if it is a regular occurance.

Yep. I take note of the general trends in my friends' diaries and then comment appropriately. I genuinely care and want to help people succeed in being healthy. If they don't have healthy habits, I offer suggestions.

Furbuster

I made my diary public for the very reason that people *can* comment about what I eat, otherwise what would be the point in changing it from the default?

All it takes is a little tact and diplomacy. I comment on others diaries too.

spoonful

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

It's awesome that they are making an effort. It's awesome that they are making changes to their lives. With encouragement, bit by bit, they will make greater changes.

Lolli1986

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

The congratulations isn't for what they ate. It's for hitting some portion of their goal - the first one being logging at all in the first place. The second might be for managing to eat to their calorie goal. It might be that they eat 1 row of chocolate instead of 1 block.

The point of the social side of MFP is not to throw your judgement of what is or isn't healthy or what a person's goals should be onto someone else. It is to find out exactly what your friends' goals are and encourage them in reaching them.

My goal might be (and in fact is) to be able to live a fit, happy, lifestyle with occasional pizza and chocolate. My friends know to congratulate me when they see me happily eating pizza and chocolate occasionally, and will congratulate me for it. If they see me eating pizza and chocolate in a way that doesn't fit my goals, they ask me 'hey, is everything all right?'

We're not here to try to force as certain way of eating upon other people, not through mean comments or through silent discouragement.

jnhu72

Sure this has been said but...
Sometimes It's all a person can do to just stay under the calories. I know I have been like that. For me right now if I can get a calorie deficit I'm a happy camper. I will focus on eating healthier when I feel I have portions under control.

Nicolette_Karls

For me, I always try to leave a comment on people's diaries/exercises. I intentionally keep a smaller group of friends for that explicit purpose. And sure, I don't always agree with the choices that my friends make. Like my one friend has her calories set to 800 a day. But you know what? She works just as hard to meet her goals as I do. It is not my position to tell her she has to eat more. It's my job to encourage her to keep striving to be healthier. So when her diary reads a total of 700 or so calories, I give her that little "way to go!" And I'm guilty of bad eating too. I know that fast food appears in my diary way too often. Do I want my friends to stop commenting on my diaries or to start criticizing me for it? NO! Because that doesn't help anyone. If they did that, I would feel completely ashamed, and (like I'm sure a lot of us do) I either eat way more or absolutely nothing when I'm upset. So sure, eat that whole pizza for lunch, but you're still getting a way to go from me because you spent 3 hours in the gym working it off. Relax people, we're here to support each other, not critique every calorie!

bporter30080

I'm new so i haven't commented on anyones diaries but I have to agree i won't say "good job" on a bad eating day, i'd prob say something else encouraging, but def not a good job. Now if its one day i prob won't say anything but multiple days back to back i will say something to hopefully get them back on track, especially if their goals is to lose weight. We all need support.

Barbellerella

I read 2 pages of this...

Calories out vs calories in. If someone wants to eat doritos, twinkies cupcakes and ice cream, let them. It's about "calories" not about junk or healthy. I can go through everyone's diary and tell you "how unhealthy" your diet is it. It's relevant to the person.

If you ate meat today, you ate uric acid.
If you're a vegan or some sort you don't get enough protein and are missing key elements to a diet(even if you want to debate this).
You eat fruit, you are eating fructose....

so who's diet is healthy?

^^^^ What HE said .... Tons of my friends follow the "If It Fits In You Macros" diet. And they eat Ice cream like daily and lose weight. Sounds kinda fun if you ask me!! AND they get lots of "good jobs" from their pals who DO look at their diaries.