Positive comments on unhealthy diaries

Silver14

Aww no one ever tells me that! Unloved

But on the topic, I hate that to. I don't understand why espesially when it's all crap.

loneworg

I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.

^^^^first off gratz on your loss!^^^ As someone who is very large and have a lot of weight to lose, that is what important to me. As I get down I plan to do better but as I said I am working to be within my cal goals and with portion control. So logging for me, even with all my junk I eat it stills feel like a win.

charanne52

People will also say "good job" on a closed diary. That's not something I would do but I guess some people just want to be supportive and encouraging no matter what.

LNPurdie

If I eat junk food, because I just am having one of those days - maybe stuck on the road, emotional day, if I drink too much....

I still try to keep under my goal for the day. I think its important to be honest, not perfect and if I ate badly, but managed not to binge and stayed on track - why not get some encouragement.


The idea is to slowly improve my lifestyle, not "diet".

aleham

If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

I wasn't being judgemental or attacking you, I was giving you advice - just the kind of advice you feel MFP members should give one another about their food choices.

Oh the irony.

gsager

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

Is your diary private?

bzgl40

Wow, some folks are being hard on the OP on her post about something she wondered about. it is a pretty legit decision point about what is good feedback and what might not be good feedback and there are multiple ways of thinking about it. She's not attacking anyone. Some folks just need to chill a bit I think. Glad there are some folks willing to discuss the topic on the merit of the topic and not just say "why do you care so much".

As to the OP, I don't actually read people's diaries so I can't speak to here but I am on a triathlon forum and I read my online friends training logs all the time and provide feedback. I have gotten to know most of them pretty good through the years and know who takes to what and I'll totally crap on the ones that are starting to slack if I feel it will help them, and usually it does. Others I just might make recommendations to help motivate them. But yeah, if I go in there and there is no training for like a week I'm not going to say good job. I'd be more likely to say nothing.

ninelives58

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

bzgl40

If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

I wasn't being judgemental or attacking you, I was giving you advice - just the kind of advice you feel MFP members should give one another about their food choices.

Oh the irony.

You actually did judge her. You made the statement that she was taking this personally. But the rest of your advice was pretty solid. I think she probably took your statement as harsh cause of that one line and the fact there are a few that seem to think she's all up in arms about this. It is the one statement that really stood out to me anyways...

FlaxMilk

I don't comment on closed diaries and I don't offer compliments on days under 1200 calories unless to possibly compliment how healthy some of the foods were. Anything else, I say something positive. Some may have days filled with junk, but two weeks ago they were struggling to keep the junk under the calorie limit. That's an accomplishment, to get below/at the limit when they were overeating before, and that should be congratulated. If they want to begin eating cleaner, I'll congratulate the health there too.

I generally eat pretty healthfully but had a string of suckiness lately. I posted it, but I would have felt terrible had anyone said something else about it. The support I got helped me kick the funk.

Biggipooh

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

People are asskissing.

pdj1220

I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.

^^^^first off gratz on your loss!^^^ As someone who is very large and have a lot of weight to lose, that is what important to me. As I get down I plan to do better but as I said I am working to be within my cal goals and with portion control. So logging for me, even with all my junk I eat it stills feel like a win.

Wow, I just read your profile, and we have some simularities. I am currently a CNA, and working slowly on my LPN degree. I absolutely love the geriatric care field. This whole road is a process, things come a little at a time. The key is not to get to excited about the big losses, and to discouraged by the slight gains.

ElizabethRoad

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

peles_fire

I agree. There's a thread right now about how "judging diaries" is so wrong etc which is just silly. I mean, if someone is b*tching about someone having a treat one day, that's a bit excessive. But in general, if someone is consistently eating something that's bad for them, it's totally appropriate AND SUPPORTIVE of his/her MFPs to show concern/make suggestions for alternatives.
It comes down to actually being caring. If you don't care and just want to seem nice you'll be complimentary about anything someone does - most of them probably don't even look at the diary. I value the friends who actually take note of how I'm using up my calories so much more because it's helpful.
Then you have those people who have their diary on private. I understand being embarrassed about what you eat, but in this forum it's a bit of an unfounded fear. The whole point is that you don't have to say who you are, or where you're from, or show your friends, but you can still have personal support from people. And how are we supposed to know that "being under you calorie goal" isn't starving? People commenting "WTG!" on a post that says "_____ completed their diary and was under their calorie goal" when they'd eaten like 300cals in low fat milk is just wrong.

I keep my diary private because I know what choices I should be making and, most of the time, I make them. I don't want people's input on what I eat - and when I do, I'll open the diary for all to see. Similarly, unless a friend specifically asks me to look at their diary, I don't check it. Frankly, I don't have time - I spend too much time on here as it is getting sucked into interesting threads! LOL!

I give encouraging comments to my friends because I want them to feel motivated. But that does not mean I am blowing sunshine up their a*#es. If they are screwing up and asking why, I will be honest in a supportive and loving way. I am not the diary police. It is not my job to go into each and every friend's diary to make sure they are eating "right" and not horking down low fat milk (What???). Now if they ask me, that's a different matter. But unless they are asking or posting comments about being stuck, I am not going to spend my time scrutinizing every calorie my MFP pals put in their pieholes. At the end of the day, we are all accountable to ourselves for our own choices.

ninelives58

Is your diary private?

No, not to my friends.

foxyforce

because i think they are working towards it that it is a good job. their portions are healthy and that definitely counts.

i remember getting a bad comment saying all i ate was junk...when i wasn't. it was my healthiest time in life and unfortunately, realizing this now, it did affect me. she said it was unhealthy because all i ate was processed food which so wasn't true.

it was something like: spicy tuna and crackers. salad. eggs and peanut butter toast. mashed potatoes, broccoli and sole.

saying that people eat bad because they eat in moderation is so not cool. everyone is working at it. my diary is now closed because of this@

ninelives58

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you lighten up please.

aleham

If someone has had a day where they eat food that isn't good for them, chances are they're already feeling guilty and beating themselves up over doing something they "shouldn't" have been doing. People make their own decisions, and sometimes people comfort eat. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that as long as it's in moderation. If, however, you've noticed one/several of your MFP friends are consuming unhealthy food and drink on a regular basis that's a different story.

I'm not sure why it's a personal thing for you (is it because you really want those people to be giving more helpful feedback?), but instead of allowing yourself to feel annoyed perhaps you should approach the individual you feel needs some help and give some constructive feedback on what they could be doing differently in order to progress towards their goals. You could do this privately, through messaging, if it would make you feel more comfortable.

MFP is a social medium because it encourages its members to support one another. Members are making their diet and exercise details your business by making it public so if you feel that strongly about it you should talk with the people in question; otherwise, what you're doing is really no more helpful.

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

I wasn't being judgemental or attacking you, I was giving you advice - just the kind of advice you feel MFP members should give one another about their food choices.

Oh the irony.

You actually did judge her. You made the statement that she was taking this personally. But the rest of your advice was pretty solid. I think she probably took your statement as harsh cause of that one line and the fact there are a few that seem to think she's all up in arms about this. It is the one statement that really stood out to me anyways...

Something being "personal" to you isn't an insult, it's just a part of the human condition and it applies to anyone, anywhere who has ever needed to give advice to anyone about anything - especially when it's around such a sensitive subject as weight-loss.

It's not easy, that's why a lot of people join websites like this - because their "real life friends" can't figure out how to have these difficult conversations. It's not easy, but sometimes it just really needs to be done because people just get in their own way constantly and can be excruciatingly blind as to how to get out of that habit.

carld256

I don't look at diaries unless someone asks me. I'm not their mom, or the diet police. I figure grownups can look after themselves.

Kara_xxx

Comments like "awesome" and "good job" are very nice and can be supportive, but I don't get it when I see these type of comments, then I peek at the diary to which they are referring, and while they may have been under their calories, the day's food is nothing but sweets, carbs and a bunch of "junk" food. No fruits and veggies whatsoever. Very little protein. How is that "awesome" or a "good job"?? I would never criticize with a comment, as it is none of my business really, but to offer congratulations for that kind of eating? I don't think that's really all that helpful.

i thought this myself and absolutely agree with you.

ElizabethRoad

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you lighten up please.

Haha, yes, you can't respond to honest discussion without resorting to vulgarity, but I'm the one who should lighten up. :laugh:

loneworg

I know in my case, the calorie goal is the most important thing for me. I am far from a clean eater, hell, I save calories for ice cream most days. Something to remember, the same person who makes bad choices but comes in at 1300 calories today may have made more bad choices and eaten 2500 calories three months ago. In my case, I may decide to have frozen pizza, but I feel good about myself for sticking to the 1/3 of a pizza rather than eating the whole thing.

^^^^first off gratz on your loss!^^^ As someone who is very large and have a lot of weight to lose, that is what important to me. As I get down I plan to do better but as I said I am working to be within my cal goals and with portion control. So logging for me, even with all my junk I eat it stills feel like a win.

Wow, I just read your profile, and we have some simularities. I am currently a CNA, and working slowly on my LPN degree. I absolutely love the geriatric care field. This whole road is a process, things come a little at a time. The key is not to get to excited about the big losses, and to discouraged by the slight gains.

Oh I agree if I lose1 or 2 pounds a week i am happy with it. Plus even though I only lost 9 pounds i honestly feel a millions times better and more alert. Oh and Im taking CNA classes next month so Im exicted. Anyway have a good weekend.

SPNLuver83

ppl post comments just to post w/o looking. Which is why I don't bother ever posting on these updates- unless it's really bad, then I try to offer advice.

swhite1209

If someone on here said something bad about what i eat I would unfriend them. I am here for support not looking for FOOD POLICE. If I feel the need to eat a piece of cake I will and I do. I need some form of something sweet each day or I will not stick to my diet. I stay under my 1200 calories each day and I exercise. Oh and those sweets i eat each day hasnt stopped me from losing over 11 lbs in three weeks. So its none of my concern what someone else eats. If they dont lose weight its on them. I usually comment on the fact that they came in under their calorie goal and its a good job and I dont care if they ate a box of twinkies for the day. If they lose weight I also give them good comments. I dont look at peoples food diary because.... I just dont care what they ate. I let everyone view mine because I dont care what others think. If it is working for me then YAY. I hate the FOOD POLICE AND I WILL NOT BE ONE.

Biggipooh

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you lighten up please.

LOL, tell her.....

karylee44

personally im here to have my *kitten* kicked.. if I am eating crappy.. i would hope one of my friends would say.. Yo.. knock off the crap..
or even hey.. instead of pizza, have you tried eggplant pizza.. or other suggestions..

maybe just me.. but i really want to get my diet better, lose those nasty last 20/30 pounds and look ripped.

sister_bear

This is exactly why my diary is locked. For the most part, I eat fairly well, but I still eat fast food, pizza, mac and cheese, etc. I understand the nutritional impact (and lack thereof) I get from eating junk.

What people don't know is that when I have some pizza, I had SOME pizza. I used to eat an entire large pizza by myself with breadsticks, follow it up with ice cream for dessert, and enjoy a few sodas with it. I don't feel guilty at all if I have 2-3 slices of pizza now and again and I could give a crap about someone that wants to tell me I did a bad job for eating it to begin with.

I will not be successful if I deprive myself of the things I want. I have to let myself have it, but just enough to satisfy me. Not eating everything in sight is still a challenge. I'm not here for criticism, so I don't open myself up to it.

ElizabethRoad

Good lord, it's not a "personal thing" for me and I don't "feel that strongly" about it. I was just posting some musings about why such a diary would be congratulated. I have no intention nor desire to offer my construction criticism to anyone. I'm not perfect either.

You feel strongly enough about it to come here and complain so you can get validation, instead of confronting the person directly.

Gee whiz, what's wrong with a little validation??

What's wrong with it? Let me think. You just want to complain about other people without confronting those people directly, and you want others to pat you on the back for it so you can feel superior. There's a lot wrong with that.

Would you just STFU. and lighten up please.

LOL, tell her.....

Oh yes, we all aspire to be that clever. Very telling when someone can't take any disagreement, isn't it?

Ralphrabbit

Hang on a minute! All these negative comments about minding your own business & getting a life - I thought the point of doing this together was for feedback & encouragement?!?!?
I try & make comments as positive as possible but I do make note of what they are regularly getting wrong (everyone has off days!) and I expect them to do the same for me! This is part of the accountability of friends on here. If you do not want comments then close your diary. My open diary helps me to know that someone is going to see what I eat & if it is not good they may comment. It is what I need!!
And now I have a life as I am learning from others & weigh less than I did so I can live!!

gemiwing

This is exactly why my diary is locked. For the most part, I eat fairly well, but I still eat fast food, pizza, mac and cheese, etc. I understand the nutritional impact (and lack thereof) I get from eating junk.

What people don't know is that when I have some pizza, I had SOME pizza. I used to eat an entire large pizza by myself with breadsticks, follow it up with ice cream for dessert, and enjoy a few sodas with it. I don't feel guilty at all if I have 2-3 slices of pizza now and again and I could give a crap about someone that wants to tell me I did a bad job for eating it to begin with.

I will not be successful if I deprive myself of the things I want. I have to let myself have it, but just enough to satisfy me. Not eating everything in sight is still a challenge. I'm not here for criticism, so I don't open myself up to it.

I'm right there with you. My diary is private for just these reasons. I got tired of the backhanded comments and 'concern'. I'm an adult and don't need validation for my food choices- it's a Nunya for me.