The man and his horrid comment

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Replies

  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 376 Member
    Your response as hilarious. Love it! And tell him you only like special "*kitten*-toning" ice cream from now on.
    LOL
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I know this will sound a bit sexist but women shouldn't take everything men say too seriously. Most of the times they don't think thoroughly before they speak so they end up choosing bad words even though they never mean ill. It has a lot to do with us, women, looking for hidden meanings under every word as well.
    I totally have to agree with this. I learned to take things with a grain of salt when it comes to my husband. He's got a knack for saying things that make me cry and not having a CLUE!

    That being said, I would rather be told if he's finding me less attractive, than to not say anything (or worse yet, go out and cheat). It hurts to hear it, but better than being lied to.
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    True BUT if someone is going to make a comment for their signifigant others own good, male or female They should try and fallow it up with some constructive advice or encouragement not "Hey babe wanna go get some Ice cream?"

    Lol!
  • rcclcruiser
    rcclcruiser Posts: 98 Member
    I loved your reply "I touched his forehead and said "we need to tone THIS up in HERE so you don't make idiotic comments like that EVER AGAIN."

    Even though they know it, they need to "GET IT" that all of us (men and women) will be old some day. I plan on exercising 6 day a week for the rest of my life, as long as I am able, just like I do now, But when you are in your 50's and older, like I am, no matter how much you exercise and eat right, gravity will pull it down and skin loses its elasticity. Of course you will look much better than an older person that does not exercise, but it is not the same as when you are 25. And all of us will be there some day unless we die young.

    When I was in my 20's I dated a man that was obsessed with my weight (I was 5'7" and 125 pounds). I was a runner and he actually got mad at me when I ran 2 miles, because he thought I should have ran 6 miles. I could not imagine how he would have been if I got pregnant or old, so fortunately I got rid of the control freak and didn't marry him. I married a wonderful man that loves me no matter what. He is not perfect and doesn't always say just the right words, but none of us do.

    Anyway, it sounds like you have a good man and it looks like you kept him in line. LOL!
  • kgprice11
    kgprice11 Posts: 749 Member
    Honestly guys are guys and what we say sometimes just flows out of our mouth without us thinking. Hope that helps :noway:
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    Ifa guy will cheat that easily they aren't worth the time, anyway!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    Ifa guy will cheat that easily they aren't worth the time, anyway!

    I like how THAT is the part of the post you chose to focused on.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    True BUT if someone is going to make a comment for their signifigant others own good, male or female They should try and fallow it up with some constructive advice or encouragement not "Hey babe wanna go get some Ice cream?"

    Lol!

    No doubt he could have used better approach or better words but not everybody is great with words :)
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    When I was in my 20's I dated a man that was obsessed with my weight (I was 5'7" and 125 pounds). I was a runner and he actually got mad at me when I ran 2 miles, because he thought I should have ran 6 miles. I could not imagine how he would have been if I got pregnant or old, so fortunately I got rid of the control freak and didn't marry him. I married a wonderful man that loves me no matter what. He is not perfect and doesn't always say just the right words, but none of us do.

    I find its important for us single folks who're dating to look hard for "warning signs" all the while being not too paranoid. There are times we have to listen to listen to our friends and family that the girl is a gold digger or the guy is a control freak rather than the lies we tell ourselves just to keep them around.

    You did great. I hope more of my friends and myself too make better choices
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    Poor men, they have to deal with women that are never happy even when they are trying to be helpful.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Here's this nice guy's thought...

    He see the changes in you...and likes it. Makes him frisky. It's his playful way of encouraging you.

    Dont always read into the words without understanding his mindset. Ask him. And you will see the above comment is right.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Here's this nice guy's thought...

    He see the changes in you...and likes it. Makes him frisky. It's his playful way of encouraging you.

    Dont always read into the words without understanding his mindset. Ask him. And you will see the above comment is right.

    This is pretty much my thoughts exactly.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Men are stupid and continually think that women have a sense of humor no matter how many times they're proven wrong.
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
    Wow! Even by guy standards that's pretty dense! Kudos for not slapping him :)
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    We - talking about men - tend to project.
    Google that term as it relates to psychology.
    Projection.
    We "project" our own feelings and attitudes on you ladies who are far more sensitive about your bodies than we are about our own. He meant nothing hurtful I suspect.
    I have said some awful things myself and later was stunned that somebody got offended.:noway:
    Be gentle but kindly express how much that hurt you.
    And if he does it again, you know it's a personal attack, but I bet he won't, and if he ever slips up, he'll be fast to make amends.
    Good luck:flowerforyou:
  • Lane1012
    Lane1012 Posts: 211 Member
    shocker .. a guy said something stupid .. we do it all the time, not intending for it to be hurtful.

    nice comeback btw .. zing!
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
    Here's this nice guy's thought...

    He see the changes in you...and likes it. Makes him frisky. It's his playful way of encouraging you.

    Dont always read into the words without understanding his mindset. Ask him. And you will see the above comment is right.

    ^^^Agreeing with this as well. I don't think there were any malicious undertones in what he said... he's just playing around.
  • MustBeTheRows
    MustBeTheRows Posts: 377 Member
    I'm sure he was joking. We say stupid **** jokingly and often regret it. It's because we can say whatever we want no matter how demeaning to our fellow guy friends and it's all fun and games. I would take it with a grain of salt.


    I see you're from AZO... Hi Neighbor!
  • If a guy says something and there are two ways of interpreting what he is saying as either a good thing or a bad thing, we meant it in the good way!!
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    I would have taken it as "you're @ss is getting smaller - I don't have much to hold onto!"

    But...I envy your quick wit...
  • My husband says comments like that. He refers to my thighs as a piece of large meat and when are we cooking this? Or, my cellulite. Well, I been taking the dog early mornings for runs and getting my alone time and he sits on his fat behind and still has a big gut. When I am nice and THIN, then see who makes the comments, ha. :happy: :wink:
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Here's this nice guy's thought...

    He see the changes in you...and likes it. Makes him frisky. It's his playful way of encouraging you.

    Dont always read into the words without understanding his mindset. Ask him. And you will see the above comment is right.

    I think this is exactly right.

    This:
    He grabbed my behind and said "Hey we need to tone this up so I have something to grab onto."

    followed by this:
    Mind you he is the kindest man I've EVER known in my LIFE and he loves me no matter

    suggests that is true. However, that does compare to the emotional rush an individual gets from feeling of self righteous outrage...
  • ClarksMommy
    ClarksMommy Posts: 2 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    What you are saying is not necessarily wrong, but did you read the part where he then asked to go get ice cream? So, probably not about getting fat... probably just a dumb thing he said.
  • DaveRCF
    DaveRCF Posts: 266
    If the comments are only negative, you have a beef. If he is generous with the compliments as well then I think you are over-reacting. And I assume your comments are premised by the fact that you never utter a critical word to your man. Not just physical comments either.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    Don't lie...be honest.


    And let's not suggest ice cream in the very next breath...kay?
  • Pagek1693
    Pagek1693 Posts: 2 Member
    Oh my! How confusing
  • montana_girl
    montana_girl Posts: 1,403 Member
    So...you want us to lie to you?

    I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

    Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

    I understand what you are saying... but as I told my husband when we first started dating, "don't make comments when I'm not eating healthy or exercising because *I* already know that I should be doing better. It's doesn't help and makes me feel even worse than I already do. If you want to help, then comment or compliment me when you see me making a healthy choice or putting some effort into working out."

    To the OP - I loved your comeback!! I never think of something that quick...
  • Pagek1693
    Pagek1693 Posts: 2 Member
    :noway: Oh my! How confusing
  • I would rather have my fiance' tell me these things now, because yes the truth hurts, but non-truths and lies hurt much more in the long run.