The man and his horrid comment

taunto

hmmm, yes this comment really seems ridiculous but you know how we are sometimes. I know I've told my husband before "if I ever start getting fat TELL ME!" - of course I did gain weight and he never said anything (which I wish he did). Some men take that seriously.

He could have chosen a better way to tell you though lol. Except, anything he would have said probably would have caused the same reaction. If you don't want these comments just be straight with him and tell him you don't care to hear his opinion on your body if it's negative. He probably thought he was being encouraging!

Thank you!

TaintedVampyre

I'm just enjoying the comments and come backs. When I was working on my bum muscles my boyfriend was very happy that he had more to grab.

Il_DaniD_lI

So...you want us to lie to you?

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

^^ I agree. If you can't count on your SO to tell you when you need to lay off the cupcakes, who else is gonna tell you?

xarge

I know this will sound a bit sexist but women shouldn't take everything men say too seriously. Most of the times they don't think thoroughly before they speak so they end up choosing bad words even though they never mean ill. It has a lot to do with us, women, looking for hidden meanings under every word as well.

jillica

NICE COME BACK, though!!!

JoeD1968

does this help?

MoveTheMountain

It's a difficult conversation to have, and it's not easy to bring it up without accidentally offending your sig-o. I would posit that none of us (certainly not on this particular webpage) likes it when we gain weight, and we're probably aware of it when we do. But some topics are taboo in relationships (different topics for different relationships, but this topic seems to be pretty common), and suddenly x amound of time goes by, and it becomes an unspoken thing in the room, for one person or the other. Thus, the blundered approach of trying to make a joke out of it, that backfired. It's clearly something on his mind, but he didn't know how to bring it up. He tried to make a joke out of it, and clearly that approach was an epic failure. But his attempt was to communicate, which is a GOOD THING.

Granted, your comeback was awesome, but you might want to re-start the conversation with him. Not with 'so, remember that bone head thing you said to me,' which will only make everything more defensive, but 'so, I wanted to talk with you about how you're feeling about what kind of shape I'm in,' or something like that. Have the talk! It might end up bringing you closer together and increasing your ability to confide in each other, even about really senstive things.

thetrishwarp

The guy I was dating when I first started losing weight told me not to lose weight because he likes big butts.

o_O

..men.

LoraF83

Wow....I know how that goes. This weekend I was trying on jeans and my guy goes.."I like how they look from the front but they make your butt look funny when you walk" WTF??!! I swear they have no filters!!!

If he was thinking it, other people might have too. I'd rather have my husband tell me if something doesn't look good than to walk around like a doofus all day. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the problem with this comment.....especially since he did say they looked nice from the front. Sounds like he was offering a valid opinion.

AlmstHvn

Your response as hilarious. Love it! And tell him you only like special "*kitten*-toning" ice cream from now on.
LOL

Hellbent_Heidi

I know this will sound a bit sexist but women shouldn't take everything men say too seriously. Most of the times they don't think thoroughly before they speak so they end up choosing bad words even though they never mean ill. It has a lot to do with us, women, looking for hidden meanings under every word as well.

I totally have to agree with this. I learned to take things with a grain of salt when it comes to my husband. He's got a knack for saying things that make me cry and not having a CLUE!

That being said, I would rather be told if he's finding me less attractive, than to not say anything (or worse yet, go out and cheat). It hurts to hear it, but better than being lied to.

christina0089

So...you want us to lie to you?

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

True BUT if someone is going to make a comment for their signifigant others own good, male or female They should try and fallow it up with some constructive advice or encouragement not "Hey babe wanna go get some Ice cream?"

Lol!

rcclcruiser

I loved your reply "I touched his forehead and said "we need to tone THIS up in HERE so you don't make idiotic comments like that EVER AGAIN."

Even though they know it, they need to "GET IT" that all of us (men and women) will be old some day. I plan on exercising 6 day a week for the rest of my life, as long as I am able, just like I do now, But when you are in your 50's and older, like I am, no matter how much you exercise and eat right, gravity will pull it down and skin loses its elasticity. Of course you will look much better than an older person that does not exercise, but it is not the same as when you are 25. And all of us will be there some day unless we die young.

When I was in my 20's I dated a man that was obsessed with my weight (I was 5'7" and 125 pounds). I was a runner and he actually got mad at me when I ran 2 miles, because he thought I should have ran 6 miles. I could not imagine how he would have been if I got pregnant or old, so fortunately I got rid of the control freak and didn't marry him. I married a wonderful man that loves me no matter what. He is not perfect and doesn't always say just the right words, but none of us do.

Anyway, it sounds like you have a good man and it looks like you kept him in line. LOL!

kgprice11

Honestly guys are guys and what we say sometimes just flows out of our mouth without us thinking. Hope that helps :noway:

half_moon

So...you want us to lie to you?

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

Ifa guy will cheat that easily they aren't worth the time, anyway!

taunto

So...you want us to lie to you?

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

Ifa guy will cheat that easily they aren't worth the time, anyway!

I like how THAT is the part of the post you chose to focused on.

taunto

So...you want us to lie to you?

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but seriously, sometimes we have to tell you that you need to start watching what you eat and hit the gym. Would you rather we start cheating on you (not that I would, just saying) or just plain dump you with the lame "oh its not you, its me" ?

Please, don't make my post a gender issue and I perfectly understand getting hurt over comments like these however, the significant others can be in a hard place and a rock with these situations

True BUT if someone is going to make a comment for their signifigant others own good, male or female They should try and fallow it up with some constructive advice or encouragement not "Hey babe wanna go get some Ice cream?"

Lol!

No doubt he could have used better approach or better words but not everybody is great with words

taunto

When I was in my 20's I dated a man that was obsessed with my weight (I was 5'7" and 125 pounds). I was a runner and he actually got mad at me when I ran 2 miles, because he thought I should have ran 6 miles. I could not imagine how he would have been if I got pregnant or old, so fortunately I got rid of the control freak and didn't marry him. I married a wonderful man that loves me no matter what. He is not perfect and doesn't always say just the right words, but none of us do.

I find its important for us single folks who're dating to look hard for "warning signs" all the while being not too paranoid. There are times we have to listen to listen to our friends and family that the girl is a gold digger or the guy is a control freak rather than the lies we tell ourselves just to keep them around.

You did great. I hope more of my friends and myself too make better choices

Yanicka1

Poor men, they have to deal with women that are never happy even when they are trying to be helpful.