does anyone have a hard time making friends?

foxyforce
foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
in Chit-Chat
i do.

i am nice and fun. a lot of people i know sit around inside and play video games all day, or are content with never making plans.

i find i never get phone calls anymore, i have to call them.

does anyone else have this problem? some days they just don't seem worth the effort. i swear.
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Replies

  • imissbagels
    imissbagels Posts: 166 Member
    YES!

    Sometimes I swear I'm one of those people that has something wrong with them but doesnt know it! (not true). I'm really outgoing and kind but I have zero friends. Lots of aquaintences but I have no one to actually talk to. No one that I can just call up and say hey to. It makes me feel pathetic. But I know Im a good person, wether they see it or not. Its definitely one of my top 5 reasons for wanting to lose weight. No one wants to hang out with the fat chick, right? Thankfully, I have my daughter to keep me company!
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    maybe we need to put ourselves out there more. at least this is what i tell myself.

    i have so many acquantances also.

    whenever i have a party, people say "oh, i will see what i'm doing..if i don't have plans"...um, you're doing my party, your plans are my party!

    maybe people are scared of my ambition....earlier this year i thought people might just be jealous of me, but i know that is so self-absorbed. i can't explain it otherwise.
  • blackmagic10
    blackmagic10 Posts: 335 Member
    I feel the same way it was so much easier when i was in high school and everyone wanted to hangout lol
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
    I think once you get older, it's just not "cool" to hang out with friends that much. I can't imagine having to make time for a BFF when I have family and gym obligations.... Add a job in there and I'd be spent!! Plus pets and kids and homework and house chores... It's not feasible and I'm very ok with that. I'll make friends in the retirement home and i can't wait to hear about the other old ladies lives over craft time!!! Right now....no time!!
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    i think i am having a hard time with my age then.....i am only 26, but once i moved (only a 30 minute drive) no one wanted to come out. they will, but very seldomly. soon enough the phone calls stopped. today when i looked at my phone to see no missed calls, i thought..."i could be dead and they would never know!"...maybe it is time for me to grow up

    i am too social though. i will have to find new friends.
  • bikinibeliever
    bikinibeliever Posts: 832 Member
    I think it is easier to make friends when you are younger. You get older, life gets busy, you have to work. I also think you are better friends with people that knew you back in the day. You know, when you did dumb stuff and they liked you anyway. It's like they were there to watch the foundation being built.
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522 Member
    The story of my life. :sad:
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    i am happy to know i am not the only lonely person, lol
  • stupidloser
    stupidloser Posts: 300 Member
    I have a hard time making friends. I feel I have outgrown my past friends and have yet to meet new people that share my interests,ideology and way of life. I would hardly call online friends "friends". They are more like strangers you bs with at a bar for awhile then you go home to your life.
  • AmadaLynn
    AmadaLynn Posts: 116
    I have this problem. Sometimes it gets really lonely and I feel bad about myself...

    But then I realize that I have to make an effort as well.
  • JoannDanielleE
    JoannDanielleE Posts: 7 Member
    I have a hard time too. im kinda shy.. plus i h ate bothering people. I always think that if so and so wanted to hang out they would call me. i call them thou.. usually just play phone tag or something.

    it can be rough :(
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    I have this problem. Sometimes it gets really lonely and I feel bad about myself...

    But then I realize that I have to make an effort as well.

    and then you continue to be the only one that makes the effort. at least that is my life.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i would rather sit inside and play video games.
    all my friends are online.
    i'm happy. people suck.
  • blackgold86
    blackgold86 Posts: 171 Member
    Where abouts are you based Foxy?
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    me... to everything you said
  • chatnel
    chatnel Posts: 688 Member
    alot of people are in the same situation and there are groups on the internet where you can hang out with people with similar interests. I think there is one site called 'meet up'.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Where abouts are you based Foxy?

    i am in mississauga, ontario, canada

    wanna hang out? :P
  • mcdkimber
    mcdkimber Posts: 1
    I was just thinking about the friend thing myself. I don't fit into the area we live, and anyone I might have something in common with live in other cities hours away. I used to have really good friends, but that was also before I was married with child. I'm also much older than I was when I was sociable. I'm also conscious of my weight and I feel I look old.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    alot of people are in the same situation and there are groups on the internet where you can hang out with people with similar interests. I think there is one site called 'meet up'.

    i have seen this.....do you know of anyone who has used it. i feel so strange going out to spend time with strangers.
  • I_love_frogs
    I_love_frogs Posts: 340 Member
    I'm always lonely...kind of get used to it after a while tho.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    I 'lost' my best friend in Feb last year and have had a hell of a time trying to find someone to replace her.

    I work hard to meet new people, but I'm really, really picky.

    I have found that most lonely people with no friends are socially LAZY.

    I meet tons of new people (I have met at least 30 since December) but they are usually too lazy to stick to plans - even ones they have organized and invited me to.

    I guess it's a bit like dating - you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a friend.

    Just put yourself out there! (and don't be lazy)
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
    I think this is a common problem people don't think about as they age--in school, we were around the same people for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week--for most people, the same kind of bonding won't happen when they get older and have other responsibilities. I think it's one of those things you just have to come to terms with, honestly.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    i do.

    i am nice and fun. a lot of people i know sit around inside and play video games all day, or are content with never making plans.

    i find i never get phone calls anymore, i have to call them.

    does anyone else have this problem? some days they just don't seem worth the effort. i swear.

    I have the same problem. I don't mind having to contact people, but I do mind when they don't contact me at all unless I contact them first. If that makes sense... Basically, I'm perfectly fine with contacting them, but I also want them to put in the effort to contact me too. I've recently let someone I used to be really close to go because she never contacted me unless she needed help, or to talk about her problems, and mainly even then it ended up in me contacting her trying to stay friends. I reqire effort put into any relationship, be it friend, bf husband fiance, family, etc. Or I let them go out of my life, because I feel like Im just not that important to them. :/
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    hahah I seem to do okay on the internet but toss me in real life and I'm toast :sad:
  • chatnel
    chatnel Posts: 688 Member
    alot of people are in the same situation and there are groups on the internet where you can hang out with people with similar interests. I think there is one site called 'meet up'.

    i have seen this.....do you know of anyone who has used it. i feel so strange going out to spend time with strangers.

    not yet but I am keen to try it out. There is one group that meet every week for trivia night at the local pub which I think would suit me as your not just trying to make conversation but working on the answers.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I 'lost' my best friend in Feb last year and have had a hell of a time trying to find someone to replace her.

    I work hard to meet new people, but I'm really, really picky.

    I have found that most lonely people with no friends are socially LAZY.

    I meet tons of new people (I have met at least 30 since December) but they are usually too lazy to stick to plans - even ones they have organized and invited me to.

    I guess it's a bit like dating - you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a friend.

    Just put yourself out there! (and don't be lazy)

    I'm in the same boat. I'm very picky as well! It's true. I've been trying to find friends to actually hang out with, and in the end they give up even texting or I keep trying to actually hang out and they always say they are busy, and can't do it. It's really lame. I know people have responsibilities, but if they care, they should put in effort. I have 1 friend who works crazy hours but she always finds time to hang out and do stuff which is really surprising. And honestly, I'm waiting for that to stop actually happening :/
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    alot of people are in the same situation and there are groups on the internet where you can hang out with people with similar interests. I think there is one site called 'meet up'.

    i have seen this.....do you know of anyone who has used it. i feel so strange going out to spend time with strangers.

    not yet but I am keen to try it out. There is one group that meet every week for trivia night at the local pub which I think would suit me as your not just trying to make conversation but working on the answers.

    i wish you the best :flowerforyou: ... i am heading over to that site right now
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    alot of people are in the same situation and there are groups on the internet where you can hang out with people with similar interests. I think there is one site called 'meet up'.

    i have seen this.....do you know of anyone who has used it. i feel so strange going out to spend time with strangers.

    They are only a stranger until you meet.
    As for me hell no. I have no problem meeting people.
    As for your friends they just may be caught in their own lives.
    Put yourself out there girl....
  • jessicayoung82
    jessicayoung82 Posts: 157 Member
    Glad to see it's not just me!! I would have to say that my list (or lack there of) of friends pretty much stinks. Love everything else about my life and where I am, but really wish I still had that go to friend other than the hubby.
  • subcult
    subcult Posts: 262 Member
    I had the same problem moved 30 mine out of town family obligations etc. Some of the lost friends was my fault from me doing what your friends did. I just wanted to be a home body ive recently started to change that and I'm starting to gain more friendships from my aquinteces by being more out going and jumping on chances to hang out after work etc.

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