does anyone have a hard time making friends?

Ninatoots

More Annie Lennox Lyrics HERE

Artist: Annie Lennox
Album: Bare
Song: Loneliness

Lyrics:

Loneliness
Is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us
And the space inside ourselves
And emptiness....
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
And the race from life to death
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel...

And I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong

Hopelessness
is the darkness in your heart
It's the sound of one hand clapping
While it's pulling you apart
Woa and I know
Yes and I know
What you feel

And
I've got a longin'
That's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong

And
I got a hunger that's
Hard to fill
Driving me on overkill
Tellin' me that everything's gone wrong
Got me a need
That I can't break
More than I can hardly take
Somehow I still keep on going strong

When I call your name
I'm gonna scream out loud
I'll say...
"here I am standing in the crowd"
You'll say "come to me"
With your open mind
you never know
What you still might find"
But you keep me here
Like a cancelled flight
An empty train
Running through the night
An orphan child
A broken shoe
and I'm still down here
Looki' out for you
Are you there for me?
'Cause I'm here for you

So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're just time away

Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
Oh, how I wish I could
But you're so far away

One more song about moving along the highway
Can't say much of anything that's new
If I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it being close to you

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away

Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothing else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don't come to own me
There's so many dreams I've yet to find

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away

Krazy_Kat

I have a hard time making friends and a harder time keeping them. I have a krazy brain, few social skills and little in common with most people. I get lonely, sure. But I just can't handle being around, but a few people. I am hoping to gain more confidence with my body fat loss, hopefully that will diguise the krazy a bit

falcon367

Yep, same here, but most of it is my own choice. I'm not into fake one-sided friendship, or friends that just call you when they need something. I'm a bit skeptical of peoples intentions, since with so many, there always seems to be an agenda. I have many acquaintances, but few close friends and I'm ok with that. I hang with positive, like minded people .. most are involved in the same investments I am, so we have a common interest which keeps up in contact.

I enjoy social media message boards like this, but really dislike the drama of Facebook. If it were not for seeing pics of my granddaughter there, I would be gone.

ArtemisMoon

I grew up with a couple of good friends in school, but went through a rough time and home-schooled the last part. Lost those friends. About that time a cousin moved back to Florida from another state and we were always friends, but after that we became attached-at-the-hip close. My sister and mother were also my friends. Fast forward years and my cousin moved two hours away. I eventually decided to move as well and we were roommates for several years, but she eventually went back with plans to get married later this year. So I am on my own for the first time with all of my friends and family two hours away. I am 30 and not married with no kids, and it is very hard to find people near my age in the same situation. I also work full time and go to school, and I am very much a home body. I made one really good friend at work before I moved to another position across town, and we get together sometimes, but she has two kids and just had a third a few months ago, so she stays busy.

I don't drink, party, or go to bars and I have never been that type. So it is rather hard to find ways to meet people who are in a similar place in their lives. Most people my age are married or have kids now. So it does get very lonely sometimes. Don't help that I'm rather shy and quiet until I am able to get to spend some quality time with someone. The few friends I make tend to be really outgoing and not put off by my shyness at all. Those people are few and far between, too.

At least I do have one really close friend, even if she's two hours away and working the exact opposite schedule from me so we don't get to talk much anymore.

StrengthIDidntKnow

I have horrible social anxiety, making friends is really difficult for me. But the friendships I do have are long lasting. I don't get to see them as often as I would like but just knowing that they are there is comforting. I would like to meet new people that live closer to me, I just usually end of feeling awkward.

^^^ this is me too even to the point I'm phyiscally ill before going out ... the things we do to ourselves

As a child my Dad used to say people will think I'm stuck up because I'm shy and quiet ... yet with friends I don't stop talkiing!

I can't tell you how many times I have been told by people that they thought I was really stuck up until they got to know me.

barbie1000

Friends? Wow, I just moved to a small city last year and it is so difficult to find friends. I am a social person and there isn't much going on in the city where I live. I lived in a large city for 35+ years and have friends spread out but not here. Have a couple of close friends elsewhere but not here. I volunteer and also belong to a gym and know people but people are just too busy to take time and hang out together; pretty sad really. Glad I have online friends and friends on this site. I am outgoing and am a fun person to be around; I just don't get it?

butterflylady86

I can honesty say yes to this.

kathrynangelabaird

I used to have so many friends when I was 17/18.. Then I met my boyfriend when I was 18 and lost all my guy friends as I found out the only reason they hung with me was to try and date me.. and then most my girl mates changed or went to uni so I found myself a lone a lot of the time.. 4 years later I only have a handful of friends and if I try to meet a "friend" up they always cancel on me.
So I don't bother.
I'm happier the way I am. I have a bf, house and pets to keep me sane with my job also so I'm always busy!

Louise1247

I dont have many friends, so i finally arrange to meet up with someone Ive not seen in ages to - as usual- be let down- give them an opportunity to still come down as it was only 45 mins later and still got told no basically. I texted another 'mate' to get a bit of moral support, and said people always let me down, and instead of offering support just takes offence because everything seems to be about her & tells me i aint nice. Im fed up of it! I dunno why i make the efforts in the first place. Forget the old and start with new i think.

lsjd2000

I would say yes to this - though I somtimes blame how I grew up -we moved alot I went to 13 schools (if I counted correctly) btwn K-12 grade and even though I seemed to make friends its like we never would keep in touch when I moved. Even now I have pp I talk with at work but no one that I hang out with- If I want to go out its usually with my husband

FreedomReigns

This is why i am so addicted to mfp! Everyone i know has become a hermit.....nobody wants to just hang out anymore and it drives me nuts! I need constant interaction especially after being in a house with four kids all.day long lol

stomachflu

That's definitely me. My whole life I've felt like I just didn't quite fit in. I was a little too sophisticated for the rednecks and a little too redneck for the sophisticated folks. Sometimes I think it's a blessing, but other times it's lonely. It would be nice to have a good group of girlfriends to have supper dates with or to workout with, but I find that I'm just so awkward with conversation and never seem to really have that much in common with other women. It's always forced when I can talk about something they like. Plus, I'm a total goof-ball and not many people get my sense of humor.

THIS! And since I am child free I REALLY have nothing to talk about to the people who are breeding!

Krazy_Kat

Oh yeah social phobia, anxiety, shyness, on the spectrum, small town, not a lot of hope at the moment. Maybe something will happen sometime. I find friends in the most unlikely of places

ChaseAlder

Yep. I have a very strong personality and I tend to be a little too intense for most people. I married a man who's very laid back and casual, so he balances me nicely.

In addition to this, I moved a lot as a child (I went to 9 different schools before I graduated from high school) so I don't get attached to people.... I never could growing up and it's just how I turned out, I guess. It doesn't mean I don't love my (few) friends, it just means if one of them were to walk up to me and be like "I'm moving out of state," I would be excited for them instead of sad for me. I would rather my friends have wonderous adventures without me than stay in one place with me my whole life.... and I'd rather have wonderous adventures and meet new people than stick around my hometown.

WifeNMama

We moved a year ago, and we are still trying to edge into social circles. It's her because we recognize that people are well set up with their groups of friends, activities, a lot of big families around here, and they just don't think to include us. It sucks sometimes. My jabber asks me why I don't call other people and invite them over. I say I have, they don't reciprocate. Not going to force myself on someone, "we WILL be friends!!!"

I wish we could move back sometimes, it was a city so you had to drive 40 minutes in traffic to visit anyone, but at least they wanted to get together!

deadgirl81

I feel awkward around new people, I've always been quiet and shy - and I feel that when I do try to speak to people, they talk over me, so I give up! I've also always felt like a bit of an outsider - when I was at school I was picked on for my size and because of my teeth (used to have to wear a brace) so I think that didnt help when it came to speaking to people either.

I have a few friends that I've known since primary and secondary school - the primary ones we try and meet up at least once a month, go for a meal, few drinks etc - but not really on a social level with them to go out each weekend or round each others houses etc - and I know both of them are busy with work and children, so its just nice to see them once a month.

The one from secondary school - I'm the godmother to her son, but....she only seems to ring if/when she wants something doing or needs help with something - I don't go round there too much either, as her son always seems to be ill (and my fiancé seems to be able to pick up anything from me - I'm a carrier apparently)!!

I get on better with my fiancé's friends - and tend to do more with them, than my female friends, I feel more comfortable around them - I'm not an overly girly girl, so most the stuff they talk about or want to do, doesnt really appeal to me, but I try and make an effort none the less.

sailorsiren13

I live across town and am the only one willing to drive because all of my friends think i live in the sticks. I never see anyone anymore not like when i lived overseas on base there you are always making plans and doing stuff. so i feel ya

ShrinkingShawna

I found that a lot of people only want to go to the bar if they go out. I'm just not into it anymore, so it's hard to find things to do with other people. I'm content hanging out at the park, or going swimming, or fishing, or just being outside. I'm hoping maybe when I'm strong enough to do fitness classes with people my age I'll make new friends. It's nice to read I'm not the only one that feels this way, I've really been struggling with it. (Wondering what's wrong with me, why people don't call, etc.) I'm glad to know it's normal!

KickassAugust

I have about a 5 year shelf life... after that I spoil and it's time to through me away! So I guess I have a harder time keeping them then I do making them!

jnite

I've always had trouble making friends my own age. I was always more of a tomboy and very much my own person, so I wouldn't fall into the peer pressure to do things, therefore most were never close even in school. Now I have a one friend that I would say I am close with that I can talk about anything to, and a couple others, but not as open and free with. Quite honestly I'm usually quite happy with the friends I have. I hate having to chase a "friend" just for them to never make any effort. I am in a bit of that situation right now, she won't make an effort in forever, then all of a sudden she does....for awhile.....so hard especially if its someone you connect with...

NYChick84

I 'lost' my best friend in Feb last year and have had a hell of a time trying to find someone to replace her.

I work hard to meet new people, but I'm really, really picky.

I have found that most lonely people with no friends are socially LAZY.

I meet tons of new people (I have met at least 30 since December) but they are usually too lazy to stick to plans - even ones they have organized and invited me to.

I guess it's a bit like dating - you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a friend.

Just put yourself out there! (and don't be lazy)

Wow...I feel the same way!!

I actually lost my best friend in November of 2004 to tongue cancer. Out of all things....she didn't smoke, drink, do anything crazy...Took care of herself, ate right and exercised. It's not fun watching someone, especially a "sister" take their last breath. Ever since then, I keep comparing girls to her. She was one of a kind. Simply an Angelic person - selfless, funny, beautiful, intelligent...the list can go on for infinity!

I have become picky with who I hang out..more in the recent months. So many people have tried to take advantage of me because they're taking my kindness for weakness. Unfortunately, these people needed to learn the hard way..... I feel bad for them lol.

I am Miss Social Butterfly. I get along with all types of people. It most likely has to do with my nonjudgemental personality. Or maybe it's because I have travelled a lot and have met people from all over the world. I put myself out there in hopes that I can meet cool people that are non judgmental or extremely narrow minded.

Making friends on Staten Island is non existent to me. 95% of the people here are extremely materialistic and so into themselves, its sickening. I rather make friends from other boroughs, states, and all over the world, and travel to them every now and again than to have friends that live in my immediate area.

INFJ

Yeah it's so much harder to make friends when you are older and out of school!

kaotik26

I have this problem a lot. I am the one always trying to hold previous friendships together, always the one to call them and say "whats up". If I do get a call it's because they want to complain about their life or ask for something. I guess that's what I get for being a good listener. When it comes to new people I am very shy, so I come off as really stuck up to people I guess, but I'm not at all I promise!!

jsuaccounting

YES!

Sometimes I swear I'm one of those people that has something wrong with them but doesnt know it! (not true). I'm really outgoing and kind but I have zero friends. Lots of aquaintences but I have no one to actually talk to. No one that I can just call up and say hey to. It makes me feel pathetic. But I know Im a good person, wether they see it or not. Its definitely one of my top 5 reasons for wanting to lose weight. No one wants to hang out with the fat chick, right? Thankfully, I have my daughter to keep me company!

Just a heads up - losing weight doesn't make any difference. Women of all sizes struggle with this issue. I think being independent makes it harder to develop deep friendships. It sometimes seems like, if you didn't make close friends in school you're out of luck. However, I know that is not the case and am working to make some more friends. - Have you tried attending some meetup.com events? That is what I have been doing lately.

KickassAugust

Honestly I've moved so much in my lifetime that I got used to the idea that people just come and go. Sometimes it doesn't have to be just physically moving......at times it seems that people and situations change, and for some reason, the friendships end. I don't know...I used to be bothered by it, but nowadays I accept the fact that people are in and out of your life for a reason. I lost my best friend when I got married, not because I was just settling down, but he had an issue with the new friends I became a part of along with my wife. I think he felt like he wasn't worth being a part of the group. Either way I look at it like people come and go. I've tried adding people that I work with but most of the time it becomes awkward. Being a musician helps though as you will gain friends out of nowhere. I can honestly say though, that I've never been considered to be anyone's best man, so while I have a decent amount of friends in my life, I'll never be that pivotal to anyone....and that took me a long time to accept \m/

There it is.. ^^ "I'll never be that pivotal to anyone..." I think this is most friendship for most people!

pitbullmama

i do.

i am nice and fun. a lot of people i know sit around inside and play video games all day, or are content with never making plans.

i find i never get phone calls anymore, i have to call them.

does anyone else have this problem? some days they just don't seem worth the effort. i swear.

I have the same problem. I don't mind having to contact people, but I do mind when they don't contact me at all unless I contact them first. If that makes sense... Basically, I'm perfectly fine with contacting them, but I also want them to put in the effort to contact me too. I've recently let someone I used to be really close to go because she never contacted me unless she needed help, or to talk about her problems, and mainly even then it ended up in me contacting her trying to stay friends. I reqire effort put into any relationship, be it friend, bf husband fiance, family, etc. Or I let them go out of my life, because I feel like Im just not that important to them.

I understand this perfectly and could not have put it any better!

chocl8girl

I don't really have any friends at all. I am so painfully shy and awkward, it's ridiculous. I get scared to contact people because I feel like they won't want to talk to me. It does help that I am acquainted with a lot of musicians and I go to a lot of their gigs, so I do get out, but I mostly don't do anything with those people outside of the gigs. *sigh* I am usually at a loss on how to go about it. Mostly I just stick to doing things with my kids...

nikkiprickett

YEP!!!!!!!

Darkskinned88

i do, well male friends...women are easier to approach and are more likely to talk to a stranger. I work in a small office, dont really relate to alot of my childhood friends and aside from neighbors dont really have any close friends

neverstray

My best friend moved about a mile away, and he told me not a single soul will go see him, except me. But, i don't go often because it's just too out of the way. LOL. It's just a hassle. When someone lives on your street, it's easy when you're just doing stuff around the house and you see each other and chat for a mintue and move on. But, when someone moves, even just a few blocks away, it's like, eh, too much trouble. That's city life, I think.