does anyone have a hard time making friends?

Options
12357…11

Replies

  • steffers628
    steffers628 Posts: 16
    Options
    I don't believe I have a hard time making "friends", but I do have difficulties making deep connections.The "best friend" "be in my bridal party" type of friend is a friend I just don't have at this point in my life. It makes me a little sad from time to time, but I know the only thing I'm in control of is me. I'll keep putting myself out there and trying! Hopefully the more shared experiences I have with friends, the more they will associate me with good times, the deeper we will be able to connect, and the more they will remember to include me in things outside of school/work/rehearsal etc. Le sigh.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Options
    A very wise person told me friends you can count on one hand everyone else is an aquaintance.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Options
    social media is killing personal interaction slowly

    this totally. i wish sm would just die.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Options
    also.....lots of people say to make friends at work

    i don't know how professional this is if you work with a small team. some people have a hard time seperating personal and professional.
  • HannahsReturnToFitness
    HannahsReturnToFitness Posts: 86 Member
    Options
    It was easy when I was in high school but as soon as I left after GCSEs, all contact with friends stopped. Most of them stayed on and I went out to work. I was and still am the youngest where I work and never really made friends with the girls where I work. I was 16 when I started to work there so could not go out with them when they went out on a saturday night etc.

    When I moved house and started to go swimming, thought may have been a good opportunity to make friends. The people are lovely there but I am the pretty much the only one under the age of 65 that goes.

    Will have to try something else!
  • Mizzy91
    Mizzy91 Posts: 63
    Options
    I've found dimensions of friendships have changed as I've got older, friends are all doing different things. Try meetup.com its where groups of people meet up and do different activities and you can create a group yourself if you require. M x
  • Mizzy91
    Mizzy91 Posts: 63
    Options
    A very wise person told me friends you can count on one hand everyone else is an aquaintance.

    Very true girl x
  • mspris2u
    mspris2u Posts: 161 Member
    Options
    I do! I was always the one that called my friends to get together or just chat. I decided to stop being the one that always calls and now I only have one or two people that I talk to. I do understand that people are busy with life in general but I don't think 5 minutes to return a call or text is to much to ask...or maybe it was. I will say that the few friends I have now have similar lives to mine so maybe its the similarities that make the difference....
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 568 Member
    Options
    I have horrible social anxiety, making friends is really difficult for me. But the friendships I do have are long lasting. I don't get to see them as often as I would like but just knowing that they are there is comforting. I would like to meet new people that live closer to me, I just usually end of feeling awkward.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    In high school, I always made friends in what I did. Mostly, I was a musician, so I was very aggressive in seeking out other musicians to play with. Most of my time was spent forming bands, practicing, writing songs and that kind of thing. I made tons of friends that way. But, as I got older, people started falling out. Some guys would meet a girls and then just stop playing. With many of those people, I realized that other than music, we have nothing in common. In some cases, I found that I didn't even like the guy outside of music.

    Then, I had to give up music for a while. So, life got interesting. All my "friends" stopped calling and I found myself very lonley.

    Fast forward to today. Now my issue is different. I think now, I don't fit in anywhere. I have a well-paying professional corporate job in a pretty conservative company. I earned a BA in Economics and an MBA. However, I'm not really "that guy". I think m smart, and the work is good. But, the folks I work with are just not the type I would hang out with when I'm relaxing. I've tried hard. Outside of work, I find that I don't fit into any group well. I'm just an odd ball dude. I'm kind of rough and drink a lot, but I workout and am super health conscience. I'm quiet and people tell me soft-spoken, but I listen to really hard music. I like to do things, but I'm also a little lazy because I work hard and on weekends I enjoy vegging out, as opposed to going out and doing something. The qualities I like in my friends are usually at odds with my work life. I'm an ex-rock star that has a professional day job. It's just weird.

    I've tried putting a band together, but at my age it's really difficult to do. Try finding 4 or 5 other guys with similar interests and the same schedule for practices...it's really hard. And I just feel like its impossible. I have tons of bar friends, but since I have been going out a lot less, even those friendships are fading out.

    I agree somewhat with what some are saying. You really have to make an effort and put yourself out there. And, often, people are lazy and flake out on you. We're all busy with our lives. People have families and other responsibilities.

    I have one friend that I'm probably getting ready to lose because it's getting to be exhausting. Maybe I'm just not a good friend or something.

    I also have a hang up about doing stuff with guys. Like I would never ver go to the movies with another guy. That just seems so gay. I won't go out to dinner either. I mostly center friendships around activities. So, I'll try to find some surfing buddies, some musician buddies, some folks to go running with, etc. I can find these pockets of friends to do things with, but I have a hard time taking it beyond that activity.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
    Options
    i would rather sit inside and play video games.
    all my friends are online.
    i'm happy. people suck.

    Agreed...
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    Options
    It's actually easy to make "friends" but it is hard to know whether they are the "true" kind you want in your life~so I guess for me it is easy but hard to keep them:grumble:
  • HeatherLeahxx
    HeatherLeahxx Posts: 156 Member
    Options
    Yes. Apparently I look like a ***** because I have a frown on my face alot?? It's just the way my face falls.

    And I'm really awkward around new people because thye think i'm strange and I'm cross across as *****y and sarcastic, when I don't even mean it.

    Stupid *****es and hoes :flowerforyou:
  • NajahDaMuslimah
    NajahDaMuslimah Posts: 51
    Options
    free free to add...
  • mielchat
    mielchat Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    YES. I'm in college at the moment, and since all my friends were also my ex-boyfriends, since breaking up I don't have any friends at all. I sound like such a loser, haha. I do suffer from terrible anxiety and have always been naturally shy, I just find it impossible to move from talking in classes to actually being friends. I'm getting used to it now though, kind of.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    Yes. Apparently I look like a ***** because I have a frown on my face alot?? It's just the way my face falls.

    And I'm really awkward around new people because thye think i'm strange and I'm cross across as *****y and sarcastic, when I don't even mean it.

    Stupid *****es and hoes :flowerforyou:

    Yes. My sense of humor takes someone a long time to get. People usually don't get me for a while. It's unfortunate.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Options
    I have horrible social anxiety, making friends is really difficult for me. But the friendships I do have are long lasting. I don't get to see them as often as I would like but just knowing that they are there is comforting. I would like to meet new people that live closer to me, I just usually end of feeling awkward.

    ^^^ this is me too even to the point I'm phyiscally ill before going out ... the things we do to ourselves

    As a child my Dad used to say people will think I'm stuck up because I'm shy and quiet ... yet with friends I don't stop talkiing!
  • cushygal
    cushygal Posts: 586 Member
    Options
    I am in the same boat. When in high school and college I had a ton of friends, but not anymore.

    I move from Canada to the states 13.5 years ago and I can honestly say that I do not have one person that I can call and talk to about anything serious. I am married and have a wonderful husband, but there are times when you just need a girlfriend.

    Its harder when you don't have kids, as you would normally meet other parents and develope a friendship based on the kids, but I do not have any kids and past the point of having them.

    Oh well, I can always hope when I get old and I am sitting in a seniors home that there will be like minded folks there with me and we will be kindred spirits!!
  • sacorner
    sacorner Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    I'm in the same boat as a lot of you. I have a few really good friends. But at 30 (2 years ago) I moved 5 hours away from them for my spouses job. We still keep in touch, OCCASIONALLY! I see them a few times a year for a day, which is a trip I always have to make. No hard feelings about that though. I am the one who moved away after all. But it would be nice if someone would come see my new home.

    I was never the most outgoing person. I always made friends through other friends. And only had a handful that I would have called 'close'. Now I live far away, work from home and for the last two years have had no one to hang with except my spouse, his mom and now my little boy! Love him to death!

    Boy would it feel good though to have someone local to hang with, drop in on for tea or just vent to!!!
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    Options
    NO, if someone doesn't want to be my friend I kick their *kitten*. I'm a nice person so it's not a problem for me. LOL...I crack me up.

Categories