(some of the) American guys...

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  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    tbut this guy kept complaining about every dollar he spent, and seemed very frustrated that as a girl, i don't have to spend that much.. like, you don't pay for the entrance to a club because you are a girl and looked at me as if i was supposed to apologize for that.

    This isn't a typical American behavior - this guy is a jerk. Can't believe you gave him a second chance!
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
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    Until my fiance and I get married our money is in seperate bank accounts, as it always has been for the last almost 8 year, if there is a movie he wants to see, or something he wants to do, or a place he wants to eat, he pays. Vice versa, if its a movie I want to see, something I want to do, or somewhere I want to eat, I pay. Some guys are cheap, some guys aren't, same goes for the girl. It's 2012, if women get offended by men expecting us to do all the cooking, cleaning, and what not, isn't it a little offending to expect a man to pay for all our meals and what not?
  • nursenessa1
    nursenessa1 Posts: 182 Member
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    I dated until I married at thirty. I never paid and nobody complained. It was understood as part of the courtship. I live in Texas.
  • twiztid_princess
    twiztid_princess Posts: 89
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    he is just a cheap skate... I have never paid for anything on a date i don't expect it. I"m just told that the guy is covering it.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    i don't mind being spoiled :) i am not a feminist or stand for woman's rights or whatever, i do let the guy pay on a date but i don't do it for too long, i am always more comfortable when i pay for myself.
    and this is not just one guy, there is a certain stereotype about american guys (again, this is not meant to offend anyone, i am a serbian and most of you will immediately think, terrorist) :)
    i don't know what to say because a guy made me feel like i demanded from him to spend too much.

    My question is why do you make MASSIVE generalizations about people. Not all American men are like that, not all people will think because you are Serbian you are a terrorist. Maybe if you expanded your views a bit and stopped being so narrow minded and making generalizations you might get somewhere. :grumble:
  • Jotell
    Jotell Posts: 139 Member
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    It's why I date outside of the U.S. I am from the u.s. myself from the Pacific Northwest to be exact. I am currently dating (online I know I don't like American guys!) a guy who lives in Turkey. So far he is the sweetest guy I have dated yet! He sends me gifts through the mail, expensive gifts for sure! I have never asked for anything from him he just enjoys spoiling me :)
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    Complaining about money on a date is just bad form, though I am the pay for myself sort as well. I've known a few men that were very vocal about things being too expensive, and it's definitely embarrassing/irritating. Oh course the guy most guilty of this that I know is Russian, so... I'm pretty sure it's not just Americans.
  • brittvee
    brittvee Posts: 123
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    There are cheap *kitten* no matter where you go, male and female from all over this world lol it happens :smile:
  • steve1686
    steve1686 Posts: 346 Member
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    sounds more like the guy just didn't like you very much
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
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    It depends on the guy and that one is just a cheap/kind of bitter guy. I've been out with guys like that and I've been out with guys that wouldn't let me pay a penny towards any restaurant bill/activity we do. My SO and I have been together for almost 2 years and he always snatches up the check the second it gets to the table and I can count on my fingers the number of times I've been able to sneakily pay for a simple cup of coffee or movie ticket (maybe like 5 or 6 times?). I wish he'd let me pay more or at least go dutch more because I feel bad (not that we always go out to expensive places but still, it adds up!).
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    they're not all like that. I met a gentleman who was charming! he opened doors, led the way, paid for everything, and never laid a hand on me! I on the other hand, placed my hand on his thigh while he was driving, and rubbed my leg against his under the table at the library while he was reading out loud to my nephew. lol!!!! meeeeeoooooooww!!!!! ;D
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    I have never once had this problem, and I live (most of the time) in the US. You just met a guy who either can't admit he's on a budget, or is a jerk, or who is using it as an excuse. I think it's time to move on..
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    There is a huge difference between being cheap and having no class. A guy who complains about prices and how women don't have to pay simply has no class.

    Someone on a budget can be discrete about his finances and choose less expensive places to hang out. If you're a down-to-earth girl you might enjoy activities that don't require a lot of money. If you need to be treated lavishly then maybe the guy wasn't right for you. Many guys worry they are only being "used".

    Question to OP: how would you feel about a guy that was upfront and said he liked you but really couldn't afford to go to high-end restaurants/bars or buy you stuff?
    What he said.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Never had that problem. If it's a boyfriend I've been with for a long time we'll have cheap dates sometimes. But before that, no
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    You met a cheap guy. Not all guys are like that. Not all Americans are like that.

    This ^^

    Some guys are actually decent guys!! They might think that they hate spending the money, but it's rude to constantly ***** about it. A good guy knows the difference.
  • jaygregz
    jaygregz Posts: 104
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    I always offer to pay. I also always tip her when she leaves.

    :)

    In all seriousness though I don't think I've ever been on a date that I haven't paid for. It's just the polite thing to do and I think that as long as the woman I date continue to be appreciative of that fact that I will continue doing it. The only real problem I see with the guy you are dating though is that he's complaining about it. Its not a necessity that he pays but if he does he sure shouldn't be complaining about it because that was his choice.

    I'd buy all the women here a round! The only complaining I would do is when your cup was empty :)
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    Question to OP: how would you feel about a guy that was upfront and said he liked you but really couldn't afford to go to high-end restaurants/bars or buy you stuff?

    well as I said, he was the one to suggest those places. Some people here are being really rude, saying that i expect to be treated like a princess (read the post first, that's all i can say)
    the thing is, i liked him so if he suggested going out for a walk or something like that i would still do it.
    the problem is not that the guy didn't pay for everything,it's just that he was whining all the time.
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
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    Wow. So we are comparing all American guys to the few crappy ones you met? Very nice.

    Majority of my dates usually refuse to let me pay for things. Where are you meeting your guys at? :laugh:
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    the problem is not that the guy didn't pay for everything,it's just that he was whining all the time.
    Exactly. Who wants a whiner? If he can't afford these places, he needs to man up and say so, instead of suggesting them (presumably to impress you?). Either way, whining about it is so unattractive. Go find a grown-up man.
  • CuteAndCurvy83
    CuteAndCurvy83 Posts: 570 Member
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    I was talking to a guy for about a year online before we finally decided to meet, when we did meet I wanted to me somewhere public and somewhere we could walk around and talk, so I choose the sponge docks in Tarpon Springs. As soon as he met me he started complaining about having to pay $2 for parking, I knew then and there it wasn't gonna work..

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