relationships and F***ing up
Jessicaruby
Posts: 881 Member
why do people in relationships constantly **** up by cheating, lying, ect? if we know that these behaviors are wrong and will only lead to problems why do we still do them?
obliviously not everyone does this kind of thing, but in general what are your thoughts?
obliviously not everyone does this kind of thing, but in general what are your thoughts?
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Replies
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People who do it either
a. lack maturity
b. do not feel as strongly as the partner
A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.0 -
*kitten* happens.
Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.0 -
My personal thought is that if someone is cheating on someone they are in a relationship with, they aren't really committed to being in that relationship.0
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You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol0
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...
A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.
Agree. People make mistakes, and it's up to the relationship to decide what the cutoff is for 'too big a mistake to get past.' There's no single answer for all people or all couples. In this case, the person who has been cheated on (or lied to, depending on the severity of the lie) needs to decide for themselves what the best course of action is for them.
Honestly, the 'why' of it isn't that relevant an issue. The question is, can you still love them, can you forgive them? If not, get yourself out of it sooner rather than later.
Edited:
Well, I'm going to backtrack... the why of it does matter, because you can use that as a predictor of will it happen again. So yeah, you should try to find out why.0 -
First, Not everyone makes poor choices.
The problem begins and end with the level of respect and honor one holds.0 -
I think one reason people cheat is because they do not accept that temptation is a normal part of being human. I have been very tempted sexually at various times and even more so now that I have lost weight. However, I admit and accept temptation is just a momentary desire for physical gratification which is far less valuable to me than the eternal love I have with my wife. I think if we are honest about temptation and even allow ourselves to flirt safely then we are far more productive in our actual relationships. Attraction to someone is normal, cheating is not.0
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I'd assume (never experienced this personally) that it would be the same as with other things in life. Sometimes we want things badly and still mess up. We're human and make mistakes. The grass is greener? You think you'll get away with it? Spur of the moment choice?
I'm not condoning it, as I hate cheating, but people do cheat / lie and some people manage to get through it. Although, I'd say if it's a regular occurrence in the relationship (not just a one-off) you'd have to ask yourself, if that person is never going to change, what good is it doing me, (or the kids in some relationships) Mistakes happen but regularly going behind your partners back for something is not on IMO and I think a sign of deeper problems, or just a not very nice person.0 -
To err is human, to forgive ~ divine.
As for the OP, I don't have a single clue. I just wanted to say something that sounded cool.
My bad.0 -
You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol
Yes I can. Upgrade all you want - after you break up with your current partner.0 -
*kitten* happens.
Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.
agreed.0 -
People who do it either
a. lack maturity
b. do not feel as strongly as the partner
A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.
I disagree....remember this...there is absolutely no ONE person that will ever truly 100% satisfy your ever want need and desire. For generations, we have conditioned our children to always want more. What it comes down to is whether or not one respects and honors what Love really is.0 -
I'm too much man for one woman.0
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*kitten* happens.
Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.
agreed.
*nods* Yup nuff said0 -
Because there's like 4 women for every man in the world :laugh:0
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CUZ IT'Z A F*CKIN RUSH BABY!!! DON'T GET CAUGHT!! YAH!!!0
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Tried to comment to someones post and messed up.
Sorry. 0 -
People who do it either
a. lack maturity
b. do not feel as strongly as the partner
A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.
I disagree....remember this...there is absolutely no ONE person that will ever truly 100% satisfy your ever want need and desire. For generations, we have conditioned our children to always want more. What it comes down to is whether or not one respects and honors what Love really is.
Of course, nobody is perfect, and you can't have a "perfect" relationship where they are absolutely everything you want out of a man/woman, but I do think that if you love and respect them enough, you will accept their flaws and not want to lie or cheat.
If the things that can't give you are that important to you, then you shouldn't be with them. Get with somebody else, or have an open relationship IMO.0 -
You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol
^^This. You constantly evolve and your thinking changes else there will be no divorce/sepration and lawyers will be poor, economy will be affected and all us will suffer!! LOL! 0 -
why do people in relationships constantly **** up by cheating, lying, ect? if we know that these behaviors are wrong and will only lead to problems why do we still do them?
obliviously not everyone does this kind of thing, but in general what are your thoughts?
It takes a lot of effort to act.... the last thing I want to do in a relationship when I'm trying to relax is act.
Honest is just way easier. Lazyness for the win (oh and it seems to have worked for 14+ years or marriage ) 0 -
I honestly couldn't tell you. I've been the cheater and the cheated on. I've also managed to avoid temptation entirely. It may just depend on where that person is in life, or how they were raised. It might be because they aren't committed or it may just be because of poor choices. I heard somewhere that because women are more emotionally connected to the act of sex than men that men can cheat and it doesn't have any impact on how they view the relationship. However, if women cheat, it is because they no longer feel the same way about their partner. I don't know if any of that is true. I do know that men and women view sex completely differently from each other.
The one who has been cheated on really has to decide for themselves if they are able to forgive. But I can speak from experience that sometimes even forgiveness and remorse are not enough to save a relationship once one or both partners have cheated.0 -
In the 15 years I've been with my husband, I've never strayed. That said, people can make bad decisions in the heat of the moment. People can make bad decisions if they have low self esteem and someone makes them feel good about themselves. People can make bad decisions for all sorts of reasons. Is it OK? No, it's not. But, the true character of a person lies in whether or not they learn from their mistakes.0
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It's about boundaries....some people cross them and some don't.0
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The only thing I've lied to my fiance about is my weight, and I don't lie about that anymore, we actually weigh in together now.
I believe that sometimes when people like about something small it's because they're ashamed of the truth, or they don't want to get in trouble.
I think that if you love someone, truly love someone, that you won't cheat on them, but who really knows what goes through someones head to make that decision.0 -
CUZ IT'Z A F*CKIN RUSH BABY!!! DON'T GET CAUGHT!! YAH!!!
LMAO!
IMO I dont think humans are a "mate for life" species. But if you find the right person and stick it out, its worth it. I'm personally done being a hoe, so no cheating here
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Not gonna touch this tread!0
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There are many reasons why people cheat but usually it is because they have low self esteem and need to be constantly validated by other people. It happens a lot in marriages around the 30-40 age range because people start looking at their lives thinking "is this it? Is this what my life is going to be like?". They think the grass is greener is on the other side for some reason but what they usually find out is that it is not greener and they are just trading one set of problems for another.0
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*kicks rocks* Dang!CUZ IT'Z A F*CKIN RUSH BABY!!! DON'T GET CAUGHT!! YAH!!!
LMAO!
IMO I dont think humans are a "mate for life" species. But if you find the right person and stick it out, its worth it. I'm personally done being a hoe, so no cheating here0 -
I think you just didNot gonna touch this tread! 0 -
My personal thought is that if someone is cheating on someone they are in a relationship with, they aren't really committed to being in that relationship.
this.0
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