relationships and F***ing up

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Jessicaruby
Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
in Chit-Chat
why do people in relationships constantly **** up by cheating, lying, ect? if we know that these behaviors are wrong and will only lead to problems why do we still do them?

obliviously not everyone does this kind of thing, but in general what are your thoughts?
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Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    *kitten* happens.

    Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    My personal thought is that if someone is cheating on someone they are in a relationship with, they aren't really committed to being in that relationship.
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
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    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol
  • MoveTheMountain
    MoveTheMountain Posts: 764
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    ...
    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    Agree. People make mistakes, and it's up to the relationship to decide what the cutoff is for 'too big a mistake to get past.' There's no single answer for all people or all couples. In this case, the person who has been cheated on (or lied to, depending on the severity of the lie) needs to decide for themselves what the best course of action is for them.

    Honestly, the 'why' of it isn't that relevant an issue. The question is, can you still love them, can you forgive them? If not, get yourself out of it sooner rather than later.

    Edited:
    Well, I'm going to backtrack... the why of it does matter, because you can use that as a predictor of will it happen again. So yeah, you should try to find out why.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    First, Not everyone makes poor choices.

    The problem begins and end with the level of respect and honor one holds.
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
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    I think one reason people cheat is because they do not accept that temptation is a normal part of being human. I have been very tempted sexually at various times and even more so now that I have lost weight. However, I admit and accept temptation is just a momentary desire for physical gratification which is far less valuable to me than the eternal love I have with my wife. I think if we are honest about temptation and even allow ourselves to flirt safely then we are far more productive in our actual relationships. Attraction to someone is normal, cheating is not.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I'd assume (never experienced this personally) that it would be the same as with other things in life. Sometimes we want things badly and still mess up. We're human and make mistakes. The grass is greener? You think you'll get away with it? Spur of the moment choice?

    I'm not condoning it, as I hate cheating, but people do cheat / lie and some people manage to get through it. Although, I'd say if it's a regular occurrence in the relationship (not just a one-off) you'd have to ask yourself, if that person is never going to change, what good is it doing me, (or the kids in some relationships) Mistakes happen but regularly going behind your partners back for something is not on IMO and I think a sign of deeper problems, or just a not very nice person.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    To err is human, to forgive ~ divine.

    As for the OP, I don't have a single clue. I just wanted to say something that sounded cool.

    My bad.
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
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    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    Yes I can. Upgrade all you want - after you break up with your current partner.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,985 Member
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    *kitten* happens.

    Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.

    agreed.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    I disagree....remember this...there is absolutely no ONE person that will ever truly 100% satisfy your ever want need and desire. For generations, we have conditioned our children to always want more. What it comes down to is whether or not one respects and honors what Love really is.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    I'm too much man for one woman.
  • LovelyLifter
    LovelyLifter Posts: 560 Member
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    *kitten* happens.

    Hopefully people learn from their mistakes.

    agreed.

    *nods* Yup nuff said
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    Because there's like 4 women for every man in the world :laugh:
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    CUZ IT'Z A F*CKIN RUSH BABY!!! DON'T GET CAUGHT!! YAH!!!
  • 3LittleMonkeyMom
    3LittleMonkeyMom Posts: 259
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    Tried to comment to someones post and messed up. :) Sorry.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    I disagree....remember this...there is absolutely no ONE person that will ever truly 100% satisfy your ever want need and desire. For generations, we have conditioned our children to always want more. What it comes down to is whether or not one respects and honors what Love really is.

    Of course, nobody is perfect, and you can't have a "perfect" relationship where they are absolutely everything you want out of a man/woman, but I do think that if you love and respect them enough, you will accept their flaws and not want to lie or cheat.

    If the things that can't give you are that important to you, then you shouldn't be with them. Get with somebody else, or have an open relationship IMO.
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
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    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    ^^This. You constantly evolve and your thinking changes else there will be no divorce/sepration and lawyers will be poor, economy will be affected and all us will suffer!! LOL! :smile:
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 411 Member
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    why do people in relationships constantly **** up by cheating, lying, ect? if we know that these behaviors are wrong and will only lead to problems why do we still do them?

    obliviously not everyone does this kind of thing, but in general what are your thoughts?

    It takes a lot of effort to act.... the last thing I want to do in a relationship when I'm trying to relax is act.

    Honest is just way easier. Lazyness for the win (oh and it seems to have worked for 14+ years or marriage :) )

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