relationships and F***ing up

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  • SilviCor
    SilviCor Posts: 110 Member
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    Two reasons:

    The cheater:

    1) has a lack of self-esteem

    2) is narcissistic
  • sofakingawesome69
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    If it reaches the point of cheating, then the relationship is over.. Nobody in love with someone would violate a true partner if they were happy. Move on then you can sleep with who you want.. Before you cheat. Show some respect.
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
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    With another friend I have, his wife and he have not had sex in 2.5 years. He's ready to cheat and has seriously been thinking about it.

    Sometimes, it is the other person causing it.

    They have kids, so he doesn't want out of the relationship, but he does want to have sex. And, he wants sex with his wife, but she just wont do it. So...what's a guy to do?

    Be honest with her and tell her that if she doesn't give it up, he is thinking of cheating!! Ask her to go to counseling and try to work on the marriage!!
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 411 Member
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    With another friend I have, his wife and he have not had sex in 2.5 years. He's ready to cheat and has seriously been thinking about it.

    Sometimes, it is the other person causing it.

    They have kids, so he doesn't want out of the relationship, but he does want to have sex. And, he wants sex with his wife, but she just wont do it. So...what's a guy to do?

    Why not be honest with her, if she isn't interested in it either, maybe she doesn't care if it has a one night stand if their relationship has more to it.

    My problem is with the need to lie and sneak about it.

    If she has a problem with it, maybe its time they both moved on?
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.


    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    I don't know if you're serious or not, but my next relationship will be open to that idea. It really doesn't matter. I feel humans are sexual and monogamous relationships are just silly and not intended for humans. It hasn't worked for me so far.
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,376 Member
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    I think one reason people cheat is because they do not accept that temptation is a normal part of being human. I have been very tempted sexually at various times and even more so now that I have lost weight. However, I admit and accept temptation is just a momentary desire for physical gratification which is far less valuable to me than the eternal love I have with my wife. I think if we are honest about temptation and even allow ourselves to flirt safely then we are far more productive in our actual relationships. Attraction to someone is normal, cheating is not.


    Love this answer!! So true...Everyone is tempted at times but if you truly love who you are with then that is all it will be - A temptation and will go no farther than that....

    If you do to cheat then you shouldn't be with the person that you have been with b/c he/she WILL find out and it will ruin what you have together...Is it really worth it for a piece of *kitten*??....My opinion!!
  • LilMissSunshine_
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    ITS SO FUN! LIKE I LOVE MCDONALDS CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES. OMG SOOOO YUMMY OMG OMG OMG BUT SOMETIMES? I WANT TO GO EAT AT WENDYS OR BURGER KING. STILL A CHEESEBURGER BUT DIFFERENT TASTE. ITS NICE TO TASTE DIFFERENT CHEESBURGERS OMG OMG OMG BESIDE ZOMG ITS NATURAL TO STRAY OF COURSE HA HA HAHA

    I would have referenced TACOS in this senario but burgers work, yo.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
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    I wonder how many people are doctors in here......
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
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    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.


    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    I really hope you are just trolling.
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 411 Member
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    ITS SO FUN! LIKE I LOVE MCDONALDS CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES. OMG SOOOO YUMMY OMG OMG OMG BUT SOMETIMES? I WANT TO GO EAT AT WENDYS OR BURGER KING. STILL A CHEESEBURGER BUT DIFFERENT TASTE. ITS NICE TO TASTE DIFFERENT CHEESBURGERS OMG OMG OMG BESIDE ZOMG ITS NATURAL TO STRAY OF COURSE HA HA HAHA

    I would have referenced TACOS in this senario but burgers work, yo.

    But will the Big Mac still respect me in the morning?
  • LilMissSunshine_
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    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.


    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    I don't know if you're serious or not, but my next relationship will be open to that idea. It really doesn't matter. I feel humans are sexual and monogamous relationships are just silly and not intended for humans. It hasn't worked for me so far.

    So what you are saying is you are switching to a diffrent species?
  • TaintedVampyre
    TaintedVampyre Posts: 1,428 Member
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    I think one reason people cheat is because they do not accept that temptation is a normal part of being human. I have been very tempted sexually at various times and even more so now that I have lost weight. However, I admit and accept temptation is just a momentary desire for physical gratification which is far less valuable to me than the eternal love I have with my wife. I think if we are honest about temptation and even allow ourselves to flirt safely then we are far more productive in our actual relationships. Attraction to someone is normal, cheating is not.

    I like this answer lol It pretty much sums things up!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    With another friend I have, his wife and he have not had sex in 2.5 years. He's ready to cheat and has seriously been thinking about it.

    Sometimes, it is the other person causing it.

    They have kids, so he doesn't want out of the relationship, but he does want to have sex. And, he wants sex with his wife, but she just wont do it. So...what's a guy to do?

    Why not be honest with her, if she isn't interested in it either, maybe she doesn't care if it has a one night stand if their relationship has more to it.

    My problem is with the need to lie and sneak about it.

    If she has a problem with it, maybe its time they both moved on?

    I wont get into their drama. There's obviously years of *kitten* between them. They both talk very openly and honestly about things. I think they need to move on. But, they're hanging on for the kids. But, she does mind if he cheats.
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    I'm just not one of those people that believes we were meant to mate for life either. I, myself, am mongamish. We are designed to be attracted to one another, not just one. It's society and religion (quick, go grab your popcorn, I just said the 'R' word) that have put these expectations on us. Believe it or not, the whole world does not believe as the US typically does.

    I can be with my bf, in a long term, committed relationship. 'Committed relationship' means I'm committed to sharing my life with him, NOT committed to him being the last man on earth I ever sleep with - or woman, for that matter! I also don't expect him to be with only me. He has every right to be with any woman he so chooses. If people would just loosen up, quit putting their insecurities before their partner's basic needs, there wouldn't be a 52% divorce rate in the US!

    ...and let the bashing begin...
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 411 Member
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    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.


    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    I really hope you are just trolling.

    This is the era of "friends with benefits", just so long as everyone knows they aren't the only friend. It only has to work for those involved. But you have to tell everyone involved
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
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    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.



    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    Because it is disgusting and completely unfair to the spouse you are cheating on. What if you contract a disease or get the other person pregnant! that is just F*** up!!
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    ITS SO FUN! LIKE I LOVE MCDONALDS CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES. OMG SOOOO YUMMY OMG OMG OMG BUT SOMETIMES? I WANT TO GO EAT AT WENDYS OR BURGER KING. STILL A CHEESEBURGER BUT DIFFERENT TASTE. ITS NICE TO TASTE DIFFERENT CHEESBURGERS OMG OMG OMG BESIDE ZOMG ITS NATURAL TO STRAY OF COURSE HA HA HAHA

    Sometimes I just feel like having a taco.
    I love tacos!
  • angrodriguez92
    angrodriguez92 Posts: 193 Member
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    Disrespect for themselves and their partner. Insensitivity. Or perhaps they want to create excitement, drama in their lives.
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
    Options
    I think the question is what did YOU do to make them cheat? I mean nobody cheats unless you do something to MAKE them cheat. Duuurrr....

    Really???? Judging from responses here...some people think it is completely ok to do this just because they want to, It doesn't have anything to do with what the other person in the relationship.



    Oh no, I think you are completly mistaken... it takes two to tango.

    Disagree. If there is a problem in the relationship that is 'driving' the person to cheat, say they are unsatisfied sexually, then it should be worked out and discussed. If you can't work it out, you break up, and THEN you go get it elsewhere.


    Why would you break up with someone you love just because you want to have sex with someone else? I don't get it?

    Because it is disgusting and completely unfair to the spouse you are cheating on. What if you contract a disease or get the other person pregnant! that is just F*** up!!
    That's what condoms were invented for!
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
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    With another friend I have, his wife and he have not had sex in 2.5 years. He's ready to cheat and has seriously been thinking about it.

    Sometimes, it is the other person causing it.

    They have kids, so he doesn't want out of the relationship, but he does want to have sex. And, he wants sex with his wife, but she just wont do it. So...what's a guy to do?

    I have a friend who was in the same boat. I kept telling him to talk to his wife. If she doesn't want to have sex, then I told him to ask her for permission to get it from someone else. That freaked her out and so now she gives him sex.