relationships and F***ing up

12357

Replies

  • christiangandy
    christiangandy Posts: 48 Member
    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    you are forgetting the people who are mature, and do love their partner....but their partner makes them feel like s**t all the time
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    Society has turned into instant gratification and 24/7 online connection to people EVERYWHERE..
    You have to choose to stay committed and not lie.. It’s not easy.. and temptation is everywhere now where it wasn’t and to split is to easy now days. Many just dont care anymore... its sad really
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:


    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!


    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:

    You people are sick

    Agreed. This site makes me sick sometimes.
  • MeliJean78
    MeliJean78 Posts: 249
    A spouse who will not or does not want to have sex is NO excuse for cheating. Marriage is an eternal commitment and not one to be entered into lightly. That is the problem. If your spouse is not interested in sex than spend time trying to figure out why. Most likely there is something emotionally going on that needs to be addressed. My wife could completely cut me off tomorrow and I would not cheat (unless you include porn, which some do) lol.

    Happiness = having sex

    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    you are forgetting the people who are mature, and do love their partner....but their partner makes them feel like s**t all the time
    Eventually that person falls out of love with their partner, being treated like that.
  • angrodriguez92
    angrodriguez92 Posts: 193 Member
    I think you should always be honest. Monogamous. Poly. Open. Whatever the trend, the only way anything can be held together is honesty.
  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.


    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:


    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!


    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:


    You people are sick
    Which is why we gather in masses.

    And then we Orgy.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    Exactly. Celibacy doesn't count as monogamy. That's called "having a roommate".
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:
    [/quote]

    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!
    [/quote]

    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:
    [/quote]

    You people are sick
    [/quote]

    Your lack of intelligence and humor makes me sick, so we are even.
  • mistigoodwin
    mistigoodwin Posts: 411 Member
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:


    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!


    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:

    You people are sick

    Agreed. This site makes me sick sometimes.


    Yeah that's pretty disgusting actually!!!
  • Mrbusterb
    Mrbusterb Posts: 114
    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    Yes I can. Upgrade all you want - after you break up with your current partner.
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    Exactly. Celibacy doesn't count as monogamy. That's called "having a roommate".

    Yes, and nobody wants that I know but why not talk about the problem? It is probably a communication issue. People drift in and out of love during a marriage and if communication fails then that is when this kind of stuff happens. Just wish the cheated on partner would have a chance to change whatever behavior is driving the spouse to cheat before it happens.
  • Mrbusterb
    Mrbusterb Posts: 114
    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    Yes I can. Upgrade all you want - after you break up with your current partner.
    I agree do it after you break up with your current partner
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    Hm...

    Well, I would think it's because SOMETIMES people have a false idea of what love is. The butterflies and exciting falling in love experience is awesome, but after a few years or so that is eventually going to "go away". Sometimes it doesn't, but I think it does for a lot of people, but there's nothing wrong with that! I think some people cheat because they want those butterflies to come back. They want the excitement again, but what they fail to realize is that they can make it happen over and over again with the same person. I'm sure it's a lot of work, but it IS possible.

    I love my husband more than words could EVER express, but no I don't get butterflies when he walks in the door in the evening and stomps his muddy boots all over my house. LOL I do get to experience the butterflies with him quite often though. He's been deployed overseas for more time than we've been together during our marriage. I get "first kisses" more times with the same man than a lot of people do. While he's gone, I don't feel the need to go around and be with anyone else because I know where my heart belongs even when he's MILES away and we don't talk often. I have more respect for him, myself, and my family to ever cheat on him. Yes, this last deployment I was approached by a man while out shopping. He told me I was beautiful, he KNEW I was married (i had my ring on, my children with me, and i TOLD him i was married when he asked), and he asked for my number and if we could go to lunch as "just friends". I declined. I would never be able to respect myself and I love my husband too much to ever put a thought of doubt in his mind.
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    A spouse who will not or does not want to have sex is NO excuse for cheating. Marriage is an eternal commitment and not one to be entered into lightly. That is the problem. If your spouse is not interested in sex than spend time trying to figure out why. Most likely there is something emotionally going on that needs to be addressed. My wife could completely cut me off tomorrow and I would not cheat (unless you include porn, which some do) lol.

    Happiness = having sex

    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    With respect, that is a terribly shallow definition of happiness and selfish as well. Happiness is about being in a loving and lasting relationship with another and ceasing to be just one's self. A marriage is a bond between two people and sex is part of it but not the most important part. If sex is all that makes you happy than by all means do not marry and have all the sex you want. I am strictly talking about marriage. If you are not married and unhappy than move on to happiness.
  • sexyrosey
    sexyrosey Posts: 137
    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    Dispicable...that's all I have to say to this.

    As a person who has been cheated on numerous times I can say that I still don't know why people do it. But I can say even though it has happend to me over and over I myself have never done it because anyone with true integrity does not. A relationship isn't a test so why cheat? Either you want to be with the person or you do not...simple as that. If you want more than one partner DO NOT committ! Personally if the thought of cheating even crosses my mind I break up with the person because it is apparent to me that my feelings have changed.

    Exactly... not only did i pay for it when my cheated on me, but I have an awesome guy now and he's paying for stuff he had nothing to do with. I cringe if he makes a joke about" but I was drunk". He's an awesome guy and i still have trust issues because of a guy in the past who treated me like ****. I would also add if you had a son or daughter would you want them to feel this kind of pain? :brokenheart:
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:

    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!
    [/quote]

    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:
    [/quote]

    You people are sick
    [/quote]

    Your lack of intelligence and humor makes me sick, so we are even.
    [/quote]

    Oh I have a great sense of humor...just not when it comes to things like abortion. That subject is never funny! Maybe if your mother had had one...now that would make me laugh!
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    A spouse who will not or does not want to have sex is NO excuse for cheating. Marriage is an eternal commitment and not one to be entered into lightly. That is the problem. If your spouse is not interested in sex than spend time trying to figure out why. Most likely there is something emotionally going on that needs to be addressed. My wife could completely cut me off tomorrow and I would not cheat (unless you include porn, which some do) lol.

    Happiness = having sex

    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    Right. You didn't sign up for a roommate. You walked down that aisle to make your self husband and wife. A HUGE part of that is sex. If you want to keep your mate monogamous, have sex with them. It helps!!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I feel humans are sexual and monogamous relationships are just silly and not intended for humans. It hasn't worked for me so far.

    Okay, I am fine with this line of thought for people who don't ever intend to get married or truly commit to a relationship with another person.

    But for everyone else, I feel this is just an excuse for people who can't keep it in their pants. Humans have cognitive powers that animals do not, so what is "natural" is not of greater importance than what is "normal," in terms of human behavior. If it were, we'd excuse pretty much all criminal behaviors, and society would fall apart. We all have a biological drive to have sex (i.e. to reproduce), but it absolutely CAN be controlled.

    If you don't want to be in a monogamous relationship because you don't think it's natural to suppress your urge to have sex with random people, then don't. But be honest about it. Don't marry someone and promise to be faithful to them and go put your penis in someone else and claim it isn't natural to be monogamous.
  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:

    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!

    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:
    [/quote]

    You people are sick
    [/quote]

    Your lack of intelligence and humor makes me sick, so we are even.
    [/quote]

    Oh I have a great sense of humor...just not when it comes to things like abortion. That subject is never funny! Maybe if your mother had had one...now that would make me laugh!
    [/quote]

    Rude, now you are getting personal.
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
    [
    Your lack of intelligence and humor makes me sick, so we are even.
    [/quote]

    Oh I have a great sense of humor...just not when it comes to things like abortion. That subject is never funny! Maybe if your mother had had one...now that would make me laugh!
    [/quote]

    Rude, now you are getting personal.
    [/quote]

    Oh and you weren't getting personal?? Just saying it isn't that funny in a personal context is it? it shouldn't be funny period!!
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    && if B don't work there is always plan C.

    Plan C- Coat hanger im guessing:happy:

    FRIEND REQUEST SENT!

    LMAO... anyone that thinks abortions are funny is a friend of mine :wink:
    [/quote]

    You people are sick
    [/quote]

    Your lack of intelligence and humor makes me sick, so we are even.
    [/quote]

    Oh I have a great sense of humor...just not when it comes to things like abortion. That subject is never funny! Maybe if your mother had had one...now that would make me laugh!
    [/quote]

    S**T! I wish she did, so I wouldn't have to listen to your dumb *kitten* "talk"
  • Hawksbillus
    Hawksbillus Posts: 128 Member
    Part of the problem, I think, is that our culture lies to us and tells us that we should be with someone "perfect" and that anything less than perfect is "settling". We sometimes build up an ideal, fantasy, romance in our minds, but no partner in reality can live up to that ideal. So, people bounce around from partner to partner looking for that perfect, fantasy romance. It's hard to set aside those fantasies and get used to the idea that everyone is flawed. IMO, if you find someone who fits 80% of your ideal, fantasy partner you're doing really damn good. :)

    I was just reading an article about this:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/letters-to-a-runaway-brid_b_1656764.html
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    A spouse who will not or does not want to have sex is NO excuse for cheating. Marriage is an eternal commitment and not one to be entered into lightly. That is the problem. If your spouse is not interested in sex than spend time trying to figure out why. Most likely there is something emotionally going on that needs to be addressed. My wife could completely cut me off tomorrow and I would not cheat (unless you include porn, which some do) lol.

    Happiness = having sex

    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    Right. You didn't sign up for a roommate. You walked down that aisle to make your self husband and wife. A HUGE part of that is sex. If you want to keep your mate monogamous, have sex with them. It helps!!!

    I have been monogamous for my entire marriage and, yet I have not had sex for 4 years. I think that might change this weekend, cause I am tired of the ****.

    I need a partner....anyone?
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Part of the problem, I think, is that our culture lies to us and tells us that we should be with someone "perfect" and that anything less than perfect is "settling". We sometimes build up an ideal, fantasy, romance in our minds, but no partner in reality can live up to that ideal. So, people bounce around from partner to partner looking for that perfect, fantasy romance. It's hard to set aside those fantasies and get used to the idea that everyone is flawed. IMO, if you find someone who fits 80% of your ideal, fantasy partner you're doing really damn good. :)

    I was just reading an article about this:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/letters-to-a-runaway-brid_b_1656764.html

    Very smart and true
  • threnners
    threnners Posts: 175 Member
    If you think it's okay to cheat, you need to head over to the surviving infidelity boards and see the amount of gut wrenching pain in the Just Found Out section. It doesn't affect just you, it affects your spouse, your kids, and a whole other range of things you don't even consider at the time you're getting your illicit jollies.

    And most of the time, especially in my ex husband's case, it's a downgrade.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    I need a partner....anyone?

    Not me.
  • patty43ck
    patty43ck Posts: 248 Member
    Part of the problem, I think, is that our culture lies to us and tells us that we should be with someone "perfect" and that anything less than perfect is "settling". We sometimes build up an ideal, fantasy, romance in our minds, but no partner in reality can live up to that ideal. So, people bounce around from partner to partner looking for that perfect, fantasy romance. It's hard to set aside those fantasies and get used to the idea that everyone is flawed. IMO, if you find someone who fits 80% of your ideal, fantasy partner you're doing really damn good. :)

    I was just reading an article about this:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/letters-to-a-runaway-brid_b_1656764.html

    ^^
    This!!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    For the record, I do believe refusing to have sex with your spouse is a form of betrayal. I absolutely believe it is part of the agreement you make when you marry someone, and I don't really believe it is any different than cheating.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    A spouse who will not or does not want to have sex is NO excuse for cheating. Marriage is an eternal commitment and not one to be entered into lightly. That is the problem. If your spouse is not interested in sex than spend time trying to figure out why. Most likely there is something emotionally going on that needs to be addressed. My wife could completely cut me off tomorrow and I would not cheat (unless you include porn, which some do) lol.

    Happiness = having sex

    If your spouse is refusing to have sex for reasons other than chronic pain/disability than what is the purpose of staying together?

    Right. You didn't sign up for a roommate. You walked down that aisle to make your self husband and wife. A HUGE part of that is sex. If you want to keep your mate monogamous, have sex with them. It helps!!!

    I have been monogamous for my entire marriage and, yet I have not had sex for 4 years. I think that might change this weekend, cause I am tired of the ****.

    I need a partner....anyone?


    Awww CB, I <3 you!

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