Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

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  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
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    I say make yourself 185-200 lbs light by ditching him! Oh that made me mad. Then work on your weight for you and you alone and then send him pics of you and your new boyfriend while you are sporting a hardly there bikini! On the back of the pic. How's my weight now? F-er!!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    He was just being honest.
    Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
    Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
    When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
    The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
    Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    THIS IS THE BIGGEST BUNCH OF CRAP I HAVE EVER HEARD! YOU ARE THE PROBABLY THE DOUCHE WHO SAID THAT TO THAT POOR GIRL!! IF YOU DON'T THINK YOUR WIFE IS BEAUTIFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HER LIFE THEN I HOPE SHE DROPS YOU LIKE A HOT COAL AND FINDS HERSELF A REAL MAN!

    ^^^^ I agree!!!!
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    [/quote]

    And most people would rather honestly avoid people with unrealistic expectations. Different strokes is fine -- but he needs to move on, not expect her to keep her teenage body into adulthood.
    [/quote]

    ...they've only been dating for a year and a half...

    People are too sensitive.
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
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    There are so many overly sensitive people on here! So perhaps he didn't word it well, but he was honest. Sometimes the truth hurts right? I'll never understand why people like to be lied too! Perhaps he isn't right for you if you are looking for somebody who sugar coats things, and if thats the case, he might have just saved you a huge move and additional heartache!

    I could hug you for this.

    I agree 100% with this... the statement not the hug part =P
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    First off, I wouldn't get discouraged by your 6lbs loss.. you started off without a lot to lose, so I think it is respectable..

    Secondly, ANY guy who would say such a thing to you does NOT DESERVE YOUR TIME!!!!!
  • CDMAGS
    CDMAGS Posts: 150 Member
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    What a tool! That's pretty S****y!
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    You know, if my wife ditched me for every dumb thing I said, I wouldn't have made it past the first week. Politely, but firmly, point out to him that the way he approached the subject was wrong in the first place. Never, ever, ever comment on a woman's weight. Just not done. Not unless you like being single.

    And for all the "Dump him now" people, do you guys honestly believe that a few words should end a relationship? And if so, how many of you are single?
    He did her a favor but showing his true colors. Now she can evaluate his extreme shallowness and make a change in her life. She should thank him.

    It isn't shallow to be honest and tell your loved one when your attractiveness level has decreased. Calling her a fat cow...yeah that would be disrespectful. Seems to me what happened here is boyfriend opened his mouth and forgot tactfulness.
    BS. Anyone who is not attracted to a 145-pound woman due to her weight is shallow.

    That is their personal preference. I'd rather someone be honest. Somehow if we change the situation around to be based around other features like brown eyes or short hair or whatever it may be, I feel like many would not be so upset about it all.
    His personal preference makes him shallow.

    So you think it wouldn't be shallow for him to say, "Honey, I'm not attracted to your brown eyes. I saw a picture of you in the past when you had blue contacts and it gave me a chubby. Can you wear blue contacts from now on?"

    Ridiculous.

    Is it any less shallow to say "I prefer blondes"?

    I'm saying if someone was saying "oh he said he wished I had blue eyes", you wouldn't be all up in arms.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    He has been honest about this before (christmas 2011), and I took it to heart, and started making these changes because I also realized I was the heaviest I had ever been (155). It's not his honesty that upsets me, it's the fact that he's attracted to someone he's never met - 17 year old alleycat.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    He was just being honest.
    Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
    Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
    When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
    The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
    Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    This could also be a failed or awkward attempt at trying to encourage and support you in your journey to lose a few pounds. You know him better than any of us on this thread so you need to make the decision on what he may have really meant with his statement.
    Yeah...and Hitler was just misunderstood. Anything can be spun. Maybe he has Tourettte's Syndrome? I bet you didn't think to use that excuse.

    LOL Hitler reference. that didnt take long.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    Any boyfriend who says to you "while I'm not attracted to you because of your weight" has GOT TO GO AND FAST!! You want a life with this tool? What if you get cancer in the future and get too thin? What if you develop an overactive thyroid and gain 60lbs in a year like my naturally skinny Mom did?? THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO ATTRACTION THAN HOW YOU LOOK OR YOUR BODY TYPE! I wouldn't waste another second on him! What if he decides in the future you need implants and a face lift too? Do this for YOU, dump him, lose the weight and then shove it in his face! And 145lbs isn't heavy!! I'm 136 so I guess I'm too heavy for him too huh?
  • verbalriot
    verbalriot Posts: 90
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    DEAL BREAKER. Tell him to get lost.
  • CDMAGS
    CDMAGS Posts: 150 Member
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    There are so many overly sensitive people on here! So perhaps he didn't word it well, but he was honest. Sometimes the truth hurts right? I'll never understand why people like to be lied too! Perhaps he isn't right for you if you are looking for somebody who sugar coats things, and if thats the case, he might have just saved you a huge move and additional heartache!

    I could hug you for this.

    It's not what you say, but how you say it!
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
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    I say make yourself 185-200 lbs light by ditching him! Oh that made me mad. Then work on your weight for you and you alone and then send him pics of you and your new boyfriend while you are sporting a hardly there bikini! On the back of the pic. How's my weight now? F-er!!
    Bingo. There are way too many great guys out there that would treat her right to stay with this guy.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
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    If you continue with him you are a pitiful moron. Respect yourself ! :indifferent:
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Are you kidding me??? Yes, he was honest..that's not the point. If he is not physically attracted to her because of her weight, and expects her to get back down to what she weighed when she was a kid to please him...why are they together???

    Sorry OP... but I'd be out as soon as he said he wasn't physically attracted.. What's the point?? :noway:
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    so just to make sure i am not shallow how many pounds overweight does a woman have to be before before refusing to date her makes me shallow?

    20? 50? 100? what if she is 200?
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    He has been honest about this before (christmas 2011), and I took it to heart, and started making these changes because I also realized I was the heaviest I had ever been (155). It's not his honesty that upsets me, it's the fact that he's attracted to someone he's never met - 17 year old alleycat.

    Yeah...my husband gets pretty excited when he sees how I looked in HS and college... I know he'd be even MORE into me if I looked that way...but there is more to it than just that and that is why he is here, and I am with him.

    I'm just saying....what he said was rude but again....if the rest of your relationship works and you guys are doing well...why let this one stupid comment screw it up? Tell him you are upset by his comments, see what he has to say and go on from there.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
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    Shallow, *kitten*, or not. Attraction is big in a relationship. If he wants to date someone who looks 17, he can do that. A woman's body will change all throught her life, after children... Once someone is in love the attractive parts come from within. Health concerns is one thing. Leave him for his own satisfaction, because he will never be satisfied.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    Can't remember who asked, but he's 32 and has previously divorced someone due to the fact that she gained weight while they were married and DIDN'T put in an effort. I AM working hard, I AM putting in an effort and he STILL tells me he's not attracted to me? I'd love to hear that he thinks I'm beautiful, it would be MUCH more motivation for me, because now I feel like it doesn't matter, he won't be happy with me even if I hit MY goal weight.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
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    You know, if my wife ditched me for every dumb thing I said, I wouldn't have made it past the first week. Politely, but firmly, point out to him that the way he approached the subject was wrong in the first place. Never, ever, ever comment on a woman's weight. Just not done. Not unless you like being single.

    And for all the "Dump him now" people, do you guys honestly believe that a few words should end a relationship? And if so, how many of you are single?
    He did her a favor but showing his true colors. Now she can evaluate his extreme shallowness and make a change in her life. She should thank him.

    It isn't shallow to be honest and tell your loved one when your attractiveness level has decreased. Calling her a fat cow...yeah that would be disrespectful. Seems to me what happened here is boyfriend opened his mouth and forgot tactfulness.
    BS. Anyone who is not attracted to a 145-pound woman due to her weight is shallow.

    That is their personal preference. I'd rather someone be honest. Somehow if we change the situation around to be based around other features like brown eyes or short hair or whatever it may be, I feel like many would not be so upset about it all.
    His personal preference makes him shallow.

    So you think it wouldn't be shallow for him to say, "Honey, I'm not attracted to your brown eyes. I saw a picture of you in the past when you had blue contacts and it gave me a chubby. Can you wear blue contacts from now on?"

    Ridiculous.

    Is it any less shallow to say "I prefer blondes"?

    I'm saying if someone was saying "oh he said he wished I had blue eyes", you wouldn't be all up in arms.
    If you were dating a brunette and in the middle of the relationship said to her, "I'm sorry. I am just not attracted to brown hair. Can you dye it blonde for me?". Yes, that would be beyond shallow.

    People should check out the classic Hitchcock movie Vertigo which explores this topic with tragic results.

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