Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.
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okay so THIS one is my favoriteMy answer would be "I thought you had some great features but I don't find myself attracted to you because of your personality, I don't see any potential in you and I see that you are a lot less intelligent than I thought you were"
This one! My best friend's husband told her he expected her to look the same as she did when they got married, and he's constantly on her about going to the gym. She's had 4 kids!!! Men can be really dumb. Please tell me he's now your ex.0 -
Um...she's doesn't have to. She's normal weight and hot. The guy is the one with the whacked out idea of what someone should look like.I pretty much got ridiculed for my weight for the whole of my school life ,but when I left I decided to put all the mental bs in my head aside and do something about my weight ;if you really want to do it you'll find the motivation no matter what.
It's your choice.0 -
Run. Run now and don't look back.0
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He needs to love you for who you ARE NOW, not who you used to be. What an *kitten*! He needs to be your exboyfriend. It's one thing in being supportive, it's another for that.0
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Um...she's doesn't have to. She's normal weight and hot. The guy is the one with the whacked out idea of what someone should look like.I pretty much got ridiculed for my weight for the whole of my school life ,but when I left I decided to put all the mental bs in my head aside and do something about my weight ;if you really want to do it you'll find the motivation no matter what.
It's your choice.
Hence it's her choice what she does .0 -
Ditch the douche for he is a loser!0
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I had to watch my mom date (and almost marry) a guy who constantly threw in her face that she wasn't attractive enough for him, because she wasn't as skinny as she used to be. He wasn't so upfront about it like your boyfriend, but he bought expensive clothing like Armani and Ralph Lauren in a size 6. She's a size 16. This man was manipulative and treated her like *kitten*. No one deserves that.
I've read a lot of comments in this thread saying that your boyfriend isn't shallow. He's just telling you the truth as a way to push you to your goals. Here's the thing, you cannot lose weight for anybody but yourself. Your intention may have been to please your husband or to "wow" your high school friends at a reunion, but at the end of the day, it's all about you. You can't please everybody.0 -
OMG! Are you kidding! I think that he was being honest when he said those things BUT obviously he didn't take into consideration how those comments would make you feel. Therefore, I think he's an arrogant self-centered *kitten*. First of all, if he's not attracted to you....why is he with you? Second, if he's not attracted to you and he thinks it's ok to say nasty hurtful things to you....why are you with him?
I'd say, move back home because of the job you have lined up, continue your efforts to reach your goals...for yourself, not him and bend over, tell him to kiss your *kitten* and be done with him. It's not ok for him to say things like that. If you stay with him, that's what you have to look forward to. I wish you luck with your new job and your weightloss goals. Kathy0 -
You are WORTHY of someone who loves you for the lovely, beautiful, and adorable person you are REGARDLESS of your packaging! Please... see the value in who you are and lose this clown. I met and married my husband when I was about a size 16 -18. Now that I am losing the weight, its like an added bonus to him! lol He never said anything about it when I was bigger, and you know what... I had to realize that my health was at risk, not his love. Plain and simple. For someone to treat you like that is toxic. Cut him out like an ingrown toenail... the stress may actually be causing you NOT to lose the weight, sis.
Lots of HUGS!
Kimi0 -
Sounds like a shallow D-BAG!0
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He's just not that into you. He wants to be a good guy and not break up by phone, or wants to fulfill whatever plans you two have made, but he's obviously not into it, which means you are getting a crappy deal as a girlfriend. End it!
Edit: End the relationship, keep the healthy living. Motivation should be depleted for your relationship, not your weightloss plan.0 -
Girl, you are hot. And you don't need him. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve you.0
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You are very attractive and have a figure most women would be proud of. Don't take what he says to heart. Most importantly, don't settle for someone who belittles you. Find someone who adores you and makes you feel beautiful.0
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He's horrible, does he think that's motivation, look how you used to and you "might" keep him interested, you don't need him. Never do something for someone else in this regard, you have to do it for you, others may motivate you, but you have to do it because you want it, not because its a dream of "theirs". Say byebye now.
My husband constantly calls me sexy, uses the term most of the time instead of my name, even though I've had 2 kids, both c-section and it shows, LOTS of stretch marks from my first son when my 5' frame went from 130 to 172 in 10 months (lol do the math), my skin didn't like that. His only concern is that I might lose my DDD - G chest size, to which I say too bad, my dream is a D cup (don't think I will get there).
If the guy can't be attracted to the whole you, there will always be something he picks on, that distance would sound REALLY good to me, enjoy it.:happy:0 -
Wow, I'd dump his stupid *kitten*.0
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My husband told me I was beautiful every day even when I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now. (I have had thyroid and other medical problems that made me gain weight.) Someone who doesn't love you as you are certainly doesn't deserve you. My hubby was only unhappy about my weight because it made me unhappy.
Drop the baggage and let him be someone else's problem. You deserve better. Go out and find it!
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Please don't give up eating better and exercising, but definetely get rid of the guy.
This....0 -
Time for you to upgrade to someone who is going to treat you better 0
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DTMFA!0
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What a douche....you look great!0
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If it were me that would be the end of that relationship. If he can't love you the way you are then you shouldn't have him around after you've reached your weight loss goal. You deserve better. BTW lose the weight for you and no one else and it isn't easy just keep making those small changes to your diet and continue exercising you will get there. As for dating find someone who is supportive and loves you for all that you are and not just physical attraction. He's shallow and pathetic.0
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It hurts me how much women on these boards are so eager to tell a stranger to dump the douche the first time he says what they consider the wrong thing. Hen house terrorism.0
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What a complete *kitten* hat!!! You deserve so much better than that! I would dump his *kitten* so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Then when you reach your goal (because you WILL) I would flaunt it in his face. Take that, jackwad!0
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Aww, that's not very nice. But guys say things that sometimes come out the wrong way. Did you tell him how his comment made you feel?
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that - don't let what he said deplete your motivation though. Keep at it, loose weight to become healthy for you and not anyone else. He should be proud that you are doing what you are doing, its never easy to go on a diet or anything!
I gained weight after I got into graduate school and then shortly after I got married. Now, I'm trying to loose weight and even though my husband supports it and loves me the way I am no matter what I weigh, I don't feel comfortable so this is for me, not him.
Good luck hun!0 -
Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?
Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"
I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.
I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now. Sorry it's so long.
Sounds like someone who can't accept you where you are and encourage you. I think that, no matter how much you lost, he'd think you could lose some more.0 -
Did you hear him speak the words or was this via text/email. That could make a huge difference. Maybe he meant that your weight doesn't matter to him and it's not the object of his attraction to you. My BF can say the stupidest things sometimes and I instinctively react and get mad. Then when he explains himself better I'm a little embarassed that I didn't understand him and I basically scolded him for complimenting me (no matter how weird he chose to say it)
Don't forget, he's a man...they all pretty much suck at communicating...but so do women
Good luck!
Edit: OK, so you heard him say it...the instances I'm referring to with my BF, we are usually sitting right next to each other or are in the same room. So even hearing him say it doesn't guarentee that you took him they way he meant it.0 -
Seriously - if this guy has issues with your appearance now, there is no future and it is his loss. Either he likes you for all of you - and especially the aspects that are NOT superficial or this relationship is so not worth your time.
My first husband was all about appearances and my weight was a major issue in our marriage. Needless to say, 3 children and 17 years later - he decided that the fact that I was not a Barbie Doll was a problem. He had an affair and married a girl 11 years younger who is skinny as can be. Funny thing is - that is all she is - skinny.
My second husband loves me for me - my sense of humor, my intelligence, my ambition, my compassion, my generosity and yes - even my less than perfect size 16 body.....our sex life is awesome. I had no idea that marriage could be this good.
Take some advice from someone who has been there. Run from this man. My only hope is that at age 50 when he is bald and has a beer gut - some woman gives him the exact same line he just gave you.0 -
Have you been dating him since you were 17? I don't get it, if he's not attracted to you how did he ever become your boyfriend. When you lose the weight, you may find that you are no longer attracted to him and his attitude.0
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Please don't give up eating better and exercising, but definetely get rid of the guy.
Ditto! Do it for yourself!! He should love you for you, not an "idea" of you that you will never be able to meet. You can't be 17 again, and I am sure you probably would not want to be 17 again.
You have heard of r"ed flags," well that is a HUGE one!!! Run and I am sure you will blast through your plateau!
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145 and he says you fat...Well I guess its true you cant fix stuipid0
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