Who should pay when dating? men/women/both

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  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    In the beginning of the relationship (meaning the first couple of dates) he should pay and definitely refuse your offer to pay. But later on, as you get to know each other more, the lady should offer to pay for a date or pay for part of it./split it - and the man can refuse if he wants - but the gesture should be made.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    the person who asked the other for the date.

    me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 1/2 years and we take turns paying. Also it depends on our financial situations. I am looking for work at the moment so lately he's been paying for everything which makes me feel like I'm mooching... but I know as soon as I have money I will take him out and spend money on him.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Well, after dealing with women who thinks that I owe them something for the pleasure of their company, I have set a few rules. Before I go into it though, let me say that I usually prefer to pay for the date

    First off, I insist on paying. I am a gentleman. However, if you're one of the girls who're too full of themselves of think that you're doing me a favor by going out with me, I will probably just leave you after paying MY share of the bill. You can get a cab

    To the girls saying that "if he asked me out, he should pay". I have a feeling that most of these girls don't ask out alot of guys and if they do, the date doesn't head out to a restaurant or a theater, if you know what I mean. But who am I to judge

    If the girl INSISTS on paying the bill, I usually take it as a sign that the date didn't go the way she woulda liked and we should just pay our dues and call it an evening

    Now, if we've been dating for a bit, its always my treat. No matter what stage the relationship is at. I'm working towards having a strong relationship and depending on the stage of relationship, in my mind, you're already my woman and I'm your man and I love taking care of the women in my life because I know they take care of me too.

    Ladies, a tip from a guy. Please offer to pay your share. Its common courtesy. Most standup guys will refuse to take your money but its always nice to know that they didn't just paid for a date.
  • chasingpavements24
    chasingpavements24 Posts: 107 Member
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    I do think that it's funny when women who are totally feminists in other ways (we deserve equal pay, shouldn't be expected to be stay-at-home moms and do all cooking/cleaning, etc) are like "men should ALWAYS pay".

    I had a friend who was working and earning a decent pay, while her boyfriend was in school and not being financially supported by his family or anything and he ALWAYS paid. It, honestly, made me think less of her because she never offered to pay (and I know he was the type of guy who paid because he thought that was the polite thing to do, not because he would be offended otherwise).

    I think the guy should pay the first few times, and then you should switch (unless one person makes a lot more than the other).
  • chasingpavements24
    chasingpavements24 Posts: 107 Member
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    Ladies, a tip from a guy. Please offer to pay your share. Its common courtesy. Most standup guys will refuse to take your money but its always nice to know that they didn't just paid for a date.

    THIS.
  • ChcolateLady11
    ChcolateLady11 Posts: 359
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    If I ask, I pay. If I am asked...well then they pay ;-)
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Never should matter based on gender.

    Whoever asks pays or makes its clear its 50/50
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I like going 50/50, but I also want my guy to feel like a gentleman. I'll usually offer and if he refuses, I'll let it go or insist on buying dessert for him later.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I like going 50/50, but I also want my guy to feel like a gentleman. I'll usually offer and if he refuses, I'll let it go or insist on buying dessert for him later.

    Giving in return is awesome. Buy groceries, cook dinner at his or your home for him. Purchase concert tickets to his favorite band as a surprise date...then let him pay for the food and drinks etc.

    See ladies, it's not that we expect monitary compensation...nor do we expect physical compensation. It's that we appreciate who you are, and that you've given us the pleasure of your company. Your efforts to 'return the favor'...without insulting the gift of supporting our outings that we've given you...just makes your company that much more attractive.

    Simple, isn't it?
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
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    The men! Once again, they are paying for the pleasure of my company. Plus I'm in the south now. I have plenty of my own money but I'd rather let the guy take care of paying. Less headaches for me and he can feel good about providing for me. ;)

    Screw your company what happened to equality lol.

    If you want men to pay for your company why don't you just go turn tricks on the street.
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    The men! Once again, they are paying for the pleasure of my company. Plus I'm in the south now. I have plenty of my own money but I'd rather let the guy take care of paying. Less headaches for me and he can feel good about providing for me. ;)

    Screw your company what happened to equality lol.

    If you want men to pay for your company why don't you just go turn tricks on the street.

    That was basically my thought about "oh, he's paying for my company". They have escorts for that.
  • lifestyle95
    lifestyle95 Posts: 12
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    I think it is all about who invited who.... Don't ask me to go out and expect me to pay for it - if I ask then I will pay!!!
  • Prudiddy
    Prudiddy Posts: 262 Member
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    Ok I had to answer this one! I think either way is no big deal, before I got married he paid for everything, after marriage, I pay or should I say I'm usually the one with all of our money so I just pay, no big deal.

    I was once ask to go out this was from a friend and at t he end of the dinner ended up paying for 7 people. Go figure that out!
    One person gave some cash and I ended up putting all other dinners on my card.
  • matchbox_girl
    matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
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    My man and I have been dating nine month. When he has the money, he pays. When I have the money, I pay. We both thank the other for paying, and enjoy ourselves in the process. It's simple really.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    Call me old-fashioned but the men should pay. How can they show they have the ability to support and care for their women if they can't even pick up the tab on the first date?!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I like going 50/50, but I also want my guy to feel like a gentleman. I'll usually offer and if he refuses, I'll let it go or insist on buying dessert for him later.

    Thats an awesome reply and the best thing to do imo.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    The men! Once again, they are paying for the pleasure of my company. Plus I'm in the south now. I have plenty of my own money but I'd rather let the guy take care of paying. Less headaches for me and he can feel good about providing for me. ;)

    ....
    Sorry but I can't afford escort services.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    Now how do you afford your rock 'n' roll lifestyle?

    Hahaha.. I just don't care to handle the money, silly.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    Now how do you afford your rock 'n' roll lifestyle?

    Hahaha.. I just don't care to handle the money, silly.

    Money is filthy. I don't like handling it either.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Both, unless one invites the other to a place outside the others budget, and then the inviter should pay.

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