Who should pay when dating? men/women/both

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  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
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    I'm only slightly traditional. Whoever asks the person out on a date should do the paying, in the beginning.

    But once your relationship is established I think you should just take turns. Splitting the bill makes the transaction more complicated.

    My guy and I just take turns paying for dinner/movies and try to make it as fair as possible.
  • MickeyGeorge
    MickeyGeorge Posts: 9 Member
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    I generally plan to pay for the first date, unless she refuses. I don't want to mess things up by having to decide who pays ahead of time. If more date follows, we can work that out. I'm only out a few bucks if the date doesn't go well.
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    With todays economy, I think its cool when both parties offer, its considerate. Some women demand and always expect men to pay. Some think they should be treated like a princess. @your kardashian wannabes, grow up, you are not 8 anymore and you are not a real princess. I have always dated independent women so they pay one day and the next day I pay.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Whoever invites and plans the date should be the one who pays, gender aside.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Well, I have not dated since 1975 (been married to the same man all these years), but even all those years ago, I insisted on paying my share, when both people are employed, and share/enjoy each others company. Why would you go on a date with someone if you didn't like them? My opinion on this has not changed, but it is interesting to see all the comments from the younger generations.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
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    I always bring money to pay for my own meal.
    I've had guy's who have insisted and I do let them pay, but I still usually will pay for my drinks.

    My last relationship my ex paid for 99% of things.
    But it was because he had a good job and I was in school.

    I'm okay with either, but I never expect my meals to be paid for - even if they asked me out.
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
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    I'm somewhere between old-fashioned and neutral. Outside of a very close relationship where the customs really don't matter (like, shared funds, and cohabitating or darn close to it), my rule of thumb is that if the guy asks a girl out on a date, he should expect to pay for it in full (unless the woman insists on contributing). If the girl asks, he should expect that it's split bill or separate bills. Realistically, women still make less money, on average, than men... and I think that is in part why this custom still persists.

    When I was making more and a guy would ask, I would generally make a casual offer to pay my share, or contribute towards the tip, or something... but I'm not some diehard feminist who digs in her heels and refuses to let a guy pay her share, if he insists. I generally try to read the situation. I know some guys prefer to be a gentleman and pay for everything. I kind of prefer this to be the case, most of the time, because so far my record of "guys who are cash-poor" has synced up pretty well with "guys who are lazy, mooching bums". Still, there are exceptions. Also, unless he is the one to pick out a place, I'm not one of those women who goes out of her way to pick the snootiest, most overpriced locale in town. I'm the type to find some hidden gem, a little hole in the wall with good prices and amazing food.
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
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    Call me old-fashioned but the men should pay. How can they show they have the ability to support and care for their women if they can't even pick up the tab on the first date?!

    The OP specifically excluded first dates from the question. If a guy invited you out on a first date, of course he should pay. If you did the inviting, it would be rude to ask him to pay. I don't think most women these days are looking for a man to support them. A pretty foolish plan these days.
  • monipie
    monipie Posts: 280 Member
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    men should pay always and women should show them how much they appreciate it. lol!
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
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    men should pay always and women should show them how much they appreciate it. lol!

    Why should men always pay, spend his hard earned money, and go broke to spend time with you? I know many women in person who expect this so they can save their money os they can buy clothes and shoes. I know many guys who spend most of their paychecks trying to impress women. Most women today say they are independent but say things like this. I do agree that its awesome you mentioned appreciation. I think many have taken this for granted.

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