Ladies: Best Way To Approach You In The Gym?

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  • geminitwin1979
    geminitwin1979 Posts: 62
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    I don't have a problem with it ! yes your at the gym to sweat and get down and work it but when i am in the supermarket i am there to shop .. when i am in a pub i am there to drink.......would i be annoyed if i get hit on at any of these places ..hell no !! Its a compliment even more so if you look like a sweaty betty !!

    I would just casually ask if shes finished on the equipment and get chatting or just go straight up to her and use the typical hey i have seen u in here loads and think ur hot/cute blah blah line ...go for it ..!!
  • masked_habit
    masked_habit Posts: 41
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    All these ladies saying that they're not at the gym to be hit on...well, are you really ANYWHERE (besides maybe a bar on girls night out) with the intention of being hit on? I know I don't go to the grocery store with the purpose of getting hit on, or to the gas station, or to Target, or wherever...but I have gotten hit on at all of these places. So? I don't see what the big deal is as long as a guy isn't being creepy.

    The gym to me is a safe haven not to get hit on though and that's why it is a big deal to me.
  • ChrisRS87
    ChrisRS87 Posts: 781 Member
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    When a girl is trying to do squats or pull ups, just give her a spot. She won't ask for one because of pride, so just walk up behind her and put your hands on her *kitten* (you could go hips, but *kitten* is more intimate, it tells her you're interested in more than friendship, a major turn on). Provide support as needed, she'll be extremely grateful when she's finished her set, you'll be in for sure.

    God I hope you're joking. I really hope you're joking. Because any random dude that grabs my *kitten* saying he's trying to "spot" me at the gym would get a swift backhand to the face. No joke.

    Try to do that with 135 lb on your back, wouldn't want you to drop that now. :bigsmile:
  • Jesstruhan
    Jesstruhan Posts: 331 Member
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    Maybe don't. What I'm at the gym I'm doing my best to avoid notice and I know some other ladies that feel the same way.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    I don't like being approached by guys in the gym. I'm there to work out, not date. I don't mind making friends but some guys make it way too obvious they're desperate.
    Maybe just ask her what her goals are, how her workouts are going, is she following any specific program. Start off with fitness related questions first then let her bring it to the next subject. If she does, you might have a chance. If she doesn't, move on, she's probably not there to be hit on.
  • MaybeAMonkey
    MaybeAMonkey Posts: 247
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    Everytime i go to the gym, i always get approached by a guy.

    Sometimes it's when i'm leaving the gym, and a guy runs to the door and says "exuse me!! I couldn't help but notice you in there. i didn't want to interupt you but my name is [...], whats yours?"

    or while i'm doing reps they would say "how many more sets do you have?" and then a conversation would go on from there

    . the best thing you can do is just smile at a girl but don't scare her away. let her get her workout in. and then approach after

    ^^^ This. Not every girl wants to be avoided while she's in the gym. If I were still single I would think it's a perfectly acceptable place to be approached (in a non-sleazy way). You've already got a common interest in fitness, which is way better than picking up some drunk chick in a bar. If you're friendly, polite and not creepy (do NOT follow her to her car), she'll either respond nicely or tell you she's not interested. If there's already been some smiles/eye contact across the gym a few times I don't see anything wrong with approaching her.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    When a girl is trying to do squats or pull ups, just give her a spot. She won't ask for one because of pride, so just walk up behind her and put your hands on her *kitten* (you could go hips, but *kitten* is more intimate, it tells her you're interested in more than friendship, a major turn on). Provide support as needed, she'll be extremely grateful when she's finished her set, you'll be in for sure.

    God I hope you're joking. I really hope you're joking. Because any random dude that grabs my *kitten* saying he's trying to "spot" me at the gym would get a swift backhand to the face. No joke.

    Try to do that with 135 lb on your back, wouldn't want you to drop that now. :bigsmile:

    That would absolutely be the last rep I did, and once my barbell was racked, then the backhand (or kick to the balls) would come. Better? I'm a pretty chill person, but somebody I don't know grabbing my *kitten* would NOT fly.
  • CynthiaElise
    CynthiaElise Posts: 262 Member
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    My opinion... in order to avoid a swift hard punch in the face I'd say don't do it or if anything wait til you both are leaving the gym to approach her. I'm in the zone when I work out and the last thing I want is to be hit on while looking like a bag of *kitten*.
  • ephemerata
    ephemerata Posts: 82 Member
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    1. don't approach. you have to be cool about it, man. when people approach me at the gym, i generally think that they're there to pick people up.
    2. the next time you guys make eye contact, smile at her. not a creepy, "your body looks smokin' hot" smile, but a genuine, friendly smile, the same one you might give to an acquaintance when you pass each other on the street. it's important that they know you notice, but you don't want to give the impression that you've singled them out, because that's creepifying and distracting.
    3. continue going about your business. be serious about your work-out.
    4. over time, if she starts conveniently finding ways to be closer to you during her work-out, like on a nearby machine, acknowledge her presence simply, by looking over and giving a slight nod or another smile.
    5. if she's interested, she will probably eventually approach you.
    6. if she approaches you, ask her what her name is and then introduce yourself.

    the key here is to not be the aggressor. the gym is supposed to be a safe place for women, and making overt advances can make them feel targeted or like they're an object of your lust. even if they are, you don't want to give them those vibes. you want to appear friendly and approachable, like a hot guy at the gym who could have a normal conversation over a cup of coffee.

    honestly, i wouldn't mind if someone noticed me or wanted to talk to me at the gym. what i don't want, however, is a guy who interrupts my work out to sling pick-up lines at me. also? out of all the times i've been hit on, i remember the guys who asked my name and introduce themselves the most. they seemed friendlier and less narcissistic.

    also, a woman who doesn't want you to talk to her, either at the gym or on the streets? not a *****. she doesn't owe you ****. she doesn't owe you a conversation. she doesn't owe you prettiness or a piece of *kitten* to ogle, so cut that **** real short and be a decent ****ing person.
  • FitCurves444
    FitCurves444 Posts: 169 Member
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    Your question is how to approach "me" at the gym, and trust me..... you will not want to approach me. I put on my "do not disturb" sign.

    However, I do not want to discourage you if you have someone in mind. "She" is not me. Maybe she doesn't mind meeting people at the gym.... who knows!?... maybe that is why she joined.....

    So here is my advise.... just do it! Say hello and follow her signals. If she doesn't want to talk to you, you will know it. It's ok. It probably has nothing to do with you, just wants to be left alone. But what if she does want to talk to you?

    I am going to make a statement that I hope will not offend you..... but get a backbone and speak up!

    Good luck! :wink:
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Women go to the gym to work out, and thats the last place they want to be hit on!! Not to mention, she will wonder if you are watching her all the time, making her more self aware of what shes doing, and it will make her uncomfortable.

    ^ that woman is only talking about herself, she isnt speaking for the rest of us I SWEARTAGAWD.

    I feel like im on a mission here just hoping some nutter here goes to my gym and can take the good news back to everyone else that all those myths about not hitting on girls at the gym are untrue.


    It's not sour, some of us don't need men flirting with us acting like tramps to validate ourselves. If the roles were reversed I'm sure there be more men feeling the same way. My guy friends hate chatty people at the gym just as much as I do.

    OMG. Are you serious?

    Yes, I act like a tramp and need to flirt with men to feel good about myself. Right. Or maybe I'm just a social person and don't mind somebody finding me attractive? Is that so wrong? Get over yourself.
  • ChrisRS87
    ChrisRS87 Posts: 781 Member
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    When a girl is trying to do squats or pull ups, just give her a spot. She won't ask for one because of pride, so just walk up behind her and put your hands on her *kitten* (you could go hips, but *kitten* is more intimate, it tells her you're interested in more than friendship, a major turn on). Provide support as needed, she'll be extremely grateful when she's finished her set, you'll be in for sure.

    God I hope you're joking. I really hope you're joking. Because any random dude that grabs my *kitten* saying he's trying to "spot" me at the gym would get a swift backhand to the face. No joke.

    Try to do that with 135 lb on your back, wouldn't want you to drop that now. :bigsmile:

    That would absolutely be the last rep I did, and once my barbell was racked, then the backhand (or kick to the balls) would come. Better? I'm a pretty chill person, but somebody I don't know grabbing my *kitten* would NOT fly.

    I don't see how a kick to the balls is better, that's not going to make you any friends.
  • essjay76
    essjay76 Posts: 465 Member
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    Hmmm, I, like most women on here, just like to go to the gym to do my duty and get **** done. I'm not there to socialize. BUT, if there just happens to be an attractive guy there that wants to come up to me, I wouldn't exactly shoot him down either. He would just have to be respectful of my space and not be creepy. I would rather a guy approach me about workout tips etc. vs. just feeding me stupid lines.

    Bottom line, just don't be a *kitten*, in the gym or not.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Simple.

    Don't.

    Sorry.

    this ^^ ... Sorry besides the fact that I'm already taken but i always feel more vulnerable when I'm working out. :ohwell:
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
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    Personally, I don't think there is a "best way" to approach us at the gym. I always find it creepy and annoying when guys come up and talk to me. If they're stretching when I'm stretching and they just happen to say something witty, that's cool. But ONLY if they continue what they were doing afterwards, and they don't follow me around trying to talk to me. Of course I'm speaking from a last-year stand-point, because I've had a boyfriend for the past year and he often comes to the gym with me so that wards off any unwanted attention.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    Simple.

    Don't.

    Sorry.

    :flowerforyou:
  • skybird455
    skybird455 Posts: 172 Member
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    ummm yeah ladies chill out. Perhaps if you are NOT single you could become friends with him just at the gym and you guys can learn new lifts from each other, big deal. We are all human beings with the obvious thing of working out in common, big deal if a guy talks to you. I think it is a compliment if its not dirty or rude.....I mean hey, at least you still have something someone notices right?

    Boldness but clean works for me...hey how long you been lifting? I like your (whatever) muscle. etc. Keep it simple

    Jess
  • hikeout470
    hikeout470 Posts: 628 Member
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    Agreed with the "please don't"s. I have been a serious gym goer for over 20 years, and I need to feel I can go about my business in that space, for that is what I paid for. I don my gym stare, don't dress in the holly wood style or give any vibes that I am interested, so I expect that people will catch on to this. Also, guys while you are at this convo, please rack your 45's. The reason I do free weights is to avoid injury, increase strength, and then burn calories at rest. I would prefer not to have to risk injury while cleaning up your mess. Thanks
  • Specialkayrina
    Specialkayrina Posts: 242 Member
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    Please, don't!
  • ChrisRS87
    ChrisRS87 Posts: 781 Member
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    Women go to the gym to work out, and thats the last place they want to be hit on!! Not to mention, she will wonder if you are watching her all the time, making her more self aware of what shes doing, and it will make her uncomfortable.

    ^ that woman is only talking about herself, she isnt speaking for the rest of us I SWEARTAGAWD.

    I feel like im on a mission here just hoping some nutter here goes to my gym and can take the good news back to everyone else that all those myths about not hitting on girls at the gym are untrue.


    It's not sour, some of us don't need men flirting with us acting like tramps to validate ourselves. If the roles were reversed I'm sure there be more men feeling the same way. My guy friends hate chatty people at the gym just as much as I do.

    OMG. Are you serious?

    Yes, I act like a tramp and need to flirt with men to feel good about myself. Right. Or maybe I'm just a social person and don't mind somebody finding me attractive? Is that so wrong? Get over yourself.

    Agreed. Go to a gym long enough and your bound to make friends, taking a few minutes to chat, especially about fitness, is definitely not a bad thing.

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