Putting your KID on a leash

CajunNino

My wife and I always brought a lil wagon for places like the zoo - so much easier. The grocery store....well, that's what the little seat on the cart is for. I never wanted the leash, and don't plan on using one for my grandchildren. However, there are special circumstances that my judgemental eyes just may not be aware of. I'll raise my kids and grandkids like I want. Other people can raise theirs how they want.

maddymama

So... I have two children. The oldest I put on a leash when we were out in public for a year or two from 18 months to about three years of age. I used it as a backup for holding hands, as she had nursemaid's elbow. Nursemaid's elbow is where the lower arm dislocates from the elbow. The younger the child is when it first happens, the more frequently it tends to happen and the easier it is for the arm to pop out of joint. As it happend to her when she was young, it happend to us alot over the next 4 years, from her doing a pushup, rolling over in bed at night, playing on the playground, to doing a cartwheel in gymnastics class. Most frequently, however, was that it happened when she tugged while holding our hands. POP! Dislocated. And it was either a trip to to the doctor's office ($25) or a trip to the ER ($2,000) to set it. We used a leash as a backup for when she tugged. We had to drop her hand immediately, or risk a dislocation. So, for me the leash was used as a backup so she a) wouldn't run away, and b) wouldn't dislocate her arm, but c) still be safely in our control.

It had nothing to do with whether or not she was "trained" but the fact that I couldn't hold her arm while she tugged to go see something, pulled, or temper tantrumed, or went limp. Try parenting a two, three, or four year old who does none of the above ever.

So, before you judge a child on a leash, know that it isn't always for the "lazy parents" but also can be used as a tool for those who wish to leave their house but still need to keep their children uninjured and safe.

AwesomePossum82

I have used a Harness in the past. I see nothing wrong with it. I would rather my child not be able to run away than have him/her take off and someone take him or her. I don't look down on those using them. I personally think some need them and some don't. I have 4 children. I have had to use the harness on our youngest boy. He likes to dart off constantly. We used it when we went to Disneyland and Sea World

rinnismom

when mine were little, their *kitten* were on leashes. someone bombards you... you're in a busy location... you have to put them down for "just one second"... you want to let them get a look at something without worrying they might stumble away in that one moment you're side-tracked.... there's a million scenarios.

i'm an attentive mom. i was constantly worried about their safety when they were small, that someone might snatch them. i don't care what you think. if putting my kid on a leash means that i'm just being overprotective then that's my business. a child can dart away just like a dog. no, my kids weren't prone to doing that sort of thing but i'd rather give them the choice of walk-with-leash, being tucked on my hip, or being strapped down in a stroller.

you don't like it, then don't do it. kids, especially at that age, don't care one way or the other. people, like yourself, that overanalyze and turn something genius into something disturbing, need to realize that it's about control. if taping them to my leg meant i felt they were safer, i'd do it.

unorthodox or not, it's not up to you. it's up to the parent.

splashangel

I havn't and probably never would. I have a 26 year old and 11 and 10 year olds. All boys. However, I have seen it done. The parents I have seen do it were not treating their children like animals. I never saw one place a bowl of water on the floor for them.:laugh:
The kid's on the end of a leash never look neglected. ( That I have seen) So, I guess, if that parent feel's they can better care for that child by doing this, then o.k. Because coming from a back ground of law enforcement, bad things can and do happen to kid's who wander off.

stfriend

My kids weren't runners so I didn't use them. But I have friends whose kids are and I wholeheartedly support the leash. They're not treating the kids like dogs, just keeping them safe.

RumOne

I once thought the same thing as I had a darling little girl that stayed right by my side. Then I had my second child.... The boy was always moving and had no thought of "this might hurt". He actually bruised his thighs while getting himself out of a belted highchair because he couldn't see me. I bought a leather harness (child one) for him after he started following a man at the mall because he wanted to see what was in the bag (he was 2). People may have thought I was being mean but I kept my child safe and gave him the freedom to explore without going too far.

AwesomePossum82

Just because a parent may use a Harness on occassion does NOT mean they do not pay attention. Our youngest boy is VERY hard headed and does not listen at times. We are very consistant in our pnishment, yet he still is a child who does disobey on occassion. I think its ridiculous to ASSUME parents who use them are LAZY. You can not compare Babysitting to what you would do as a parent. Children listen different to Parents vs Sitters, Not in all cases but most!

I always want to go up to the parents of kids who do this and go "Awe, how cute, what breed is he/she?" Leashes belong on dogs, not kids. I don't have kids myself, but I've babysat a LOT. I've never once had a problem losing any, IMO parents put their kids on a leash because they are too lazy to enforce rules, and think it's okay. It's really not that difficult to hold onto their hand or put them in a cart. I've also had to deal with some very bratty kids too. Again, I've never lost a kid this way, and I won't when I have my kids either. Of course, I plan on paying attention to my kids and teaching them how to behave in a good manor.

lauraniwa

I was a runner as a kid, and was at times leashed if there was going to be a crowd and I wouldn't be able to be caught/supervised from a distance. I've turned out OK.
We also leashed my youngest foster sister, in similar situations, because if she got lost she wasn't afraid (she has a delopmental disorder BTW). One time we lost her for 3 hours in a mall, the place was in lock down, security alert, the whole 9 yards.

Personally I don't think it's any worse than the parents who park they're kids in front of the TV, allow them to play video games in social situations, 5 point harness them into oversized strollers, or bribe them with candy if they misbehave.

There's lots of stuff we can judge other people for if we don't know the situation. My oldest foster sister got yelled at by a stranger for disciplining her younger (biological) sister for running away (same kid as above). Apparently the nosy *kitten* didn't like her tone, and made a 13 year old girl cry for trying her best to take care of her 4 year old sister.

So please think before you judge someone else.

puffidredz

heh my mom did that to both me and my sister when we were kids because we kept wandering off. better to have ur kids on a leash than on the side of a milk carton

clobercow

How ever people can keep their child from being my problem, I don't care.

SFbarmaid

I use a leash.. a muzzle is next on the list.

Seriously though, we live in San Francisco, The streets are crazy busy and my 2 year old son likes to take off.. I also have a 4 year old, (who is no longer on a leash). It;s the leash or my son potentially running into traffic.. I'll take the leash.

What I personally find ridiculous is when I see kids who are 4 or older and perfectly capable of walking (with or without a leash) being pushed by their parents in a stroller. that drives me nuts. But, I get it.....some parents are lazy.

holly1283

When it come to the safety of a child, I vote for safety. They have some really cute ones that look like a backpack animal with a tail. My granddaughter was a runner as a toddler. So you go ahead and laugh but she survived toddlerhood.

nwhitley

I never used one for my son, but I understand why some parents do. As a teacher, I often work with students who are ADHD, ODD, and have other severe behavioral problems. These children are often very impulsive and do not listen to directions. Sometimes the stimulation from being in public, may cause them to run off or do other things that would put their safety in jeopardy. Using a leash is not a reflection of these parents parenting skills. They are probably trying to keep their children safe.

Crochetluvr

My kids were in strollers from the time they were 3 mos. till they were 4. By that time, they were old enough to know to stay with ME.

skinnyinnotime

I have always felt this is the wrong way to treat children and I have never used these things.

However, recently I have realised that sometimes there may well be a need...a friend of mine has 3 children, the youngest has behavourial/learning difficulties which are being investigated but nothing has been diagnosed yet. This child has run off so many times, meaning her mum and siblings have to run after her and try and find her, it's extremely stressful and sometimes they've had trouble finding her. My friend has resorted to using a hand strap occasionally in certain situations, she says the stares she gets from people are awful, she doesn't want to use this but is at a loss as what to do anymore.

17ChargerGirl17

I have 5 children and 99% of the time they were all with me at the same time. I never once put my kids on a leash LOL
My kids knew how to act in public and they knew Mom wasn't messing around.
If you have to put your kid on a leash, maybe they need to be taught who the boss is.

sweetchildomine

I don't see why people get so upset about this. It doesn't hurt the child at all. I don't think I would personally put my kid on a leash but I don't look down on people that do. If it keeps their kid from running into me and getting lost. So be it.

twinmom430

I have twin toddlers that run in different directions and don't listen all the time (I'm sure you parents that have toddlers can relate), I'd rather people look at me funny then have a lost or dead child. While I don't use them for every day tasks....I have brought them with me to amusement parks or crowded areas. If people what to think that it's treating a child like a "dog" to do it, so be it, I'd rather keep my kids safe.
I'm not sure why people get so worked up about this....if you don't believe in it, don't do it....but don't condemn others for trying to keep their children safe.

taunto

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

jackieatx

I gave up my first son for adoption at birth, and they put him on a leash, AND he still uses a binky. He's almost three. His brother, who I am raising on my own, is nine months and off the bottle and binky and will certainly never be leashed. I think this proves that it comes down to parenting.

AwesomePossum82

I feel for your friend. Our youngest boy is the same. It is SO HARD and overwhelming.

I have always felt this is the wrong way to treat children and I have never used these things.

However, recently I have realised that sometimes there may well be a need...a friend of mine has 3 children, the youngest has behavourial/learning difficulties which are being investigated but nothing has been diagnosed yet. This child has run off so many times, meaning her mum and siblings have to run after her and try and find her, it's extremely stressful and sometimes they've had trouble finding her. My friend has resorted to using a hand strap occasionally in certain situations, she says the stares she gets from people are awful, she doesn't want to use this but is at a loss as what to do anymore.

cait0902

And to all of you that do use a leash, and are getting upset at the people who disagree for "judging"...what are you doing by saying things like, "I would rather them be safe"..because parents who disagree with the leash don't want their kids to be safe? Or "You keep your dog safe by putting him on a leash, so why not your kids?"...because MY kid is smarter than a dog! Just saying, don't get mad at people for disagreeing with you, get upset because you feel they are judging you, and then turn around and judge them. That's just a tad bit hypocritical don't ya think?

neverstray

This is sad; the judging.

I have 3 kids, never used a leash, but I have friends who had kids where you literally look down to get something out of a bag, turn your head up, and they're gone. Just like that. For people without kids, there's no way you can understand that. No matter what you think, no matter how many nieces or nephews you have or whatever. you cannot possibly even fathom. For those with kids, all I can say is it depends. I never needed one. But, I live in a city, and kids darting off can be very dangerous fo everyone. If you need one, then do it. Whatever it takes to keep everyone safe and happy.

Don't judge. You don't know the whole story.

Having said all that, if the parents are just lazy. Then, they are pieces of *kitten*. But, at least, at the very minimum, they know that, and display it. So, there's that.

sjmitchner

My mom raised three of us, plus took care of 3 more during the summers. We went out and did things, leashes were never involved. We knew better than to wander off. Mom went over safety with us all the time.

puffidredz

I never used one for my son, but I understand why some parents do. As a teacher, I often work with students who are ADHD, ODD, and have other severe behavioral problems. These children are often very impulsive and do not listen to directions. Sometimes the stimulation from being in public, may cause them to run off or do other things that would put their safety in jeopardy. Using a leash is not a reflection of these parents parenting skills. They are probably trying to keep their children safe.

+1

SFbarmaid

I always want to go up to the parents of kids who do this and go "Awe, how cute, what breed is he/she?" Leashes belong on dogs, not kids. I don't have kids myself, but I've babysat a LOT. I've never once had a problem losing any, IMO parents put their kids on a leash because they are too lazy to enforce rules, and think it's okay. It's really not that difficult to hold onto their hand or put them in a cart. I've also had to deal with some very bratty kids too. Again, I've never lost a kid this way, and I won't when I have my kids either. Of course, I plan on paying attention to my kids and teaching them how to behave in a good manor.

Wow.. you are clueless... wait till you have kids. you're in for a reality check. Babysitting "ALOT" and actually having kids cannot be compared.

estrada3d

I'd rather have my kid on a leash than a milk carton

AJ_Pete

My son WAS a runner. He just turned two. I used a leash on him once when he was one. I have taught him to 'stay with mommy' through walking around our local zoo (less than a mile from our house) sans stroller or leash. He listens incredibly well now, but it had to be learned.
He is naturally adventurous and would just dart off (I'm in a cam walker boot because I've lost half my foot in bone) and it was nearly impossible to catch him and it would scare the bejesus out of me.

That being said, I would never judge ANYONE for putting their child on a leash. If you need it, use it. It's not inhumane to do so. In fact, it'a a safety precaution.

Better safe than sorry.

paleirishmother

I've seen some that are just like pillow pets with a strap attached, those look a lot better than the 'harness' ones they use to have. I've never used one for my toddler, but sometimes I wish I had one. It's better to be safe than sorry. Just yesterday he was watching an airplane fly above us, he started clapping, and took off running across the park after it!

A 2yr old WILL be a 2yr old, no matter how great of a parent you are.