Putting your KID on a leash
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My mother had one to use when she took all three of her small grand kids out. She just got over breaking both her ankles and to this day cant run fast. And one of the grand kids was a bolter. So a leash on the 2yo bolter or possible watch him run into the street because she was physically unable to chase him.0
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Crowds, 3 kids, one adult, 2 kids a little too young to listen well, toddler who'd rather walk than ride in the stroller. Yeah, I have one.0
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No leashes, ever for your kid. Disciplne your children people! Aargh, pisses me off to see that type of latitude afforded to kids.
Tell me all about your children. I would love to hear your discipline technique.0 -
i'd rather parents use a leash than let their kid get hit by a car.0
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I think every situation is unique and I believe it's unfair to judge someone without knowing the circumstances. I never used one, but as a single parent of 3 kids, 2 with special needs, 1 of whom had very high needs behavior issues it might have reduced my stress levels a bit. When my kids were growing up, the issues I faced as a parent were so severe that my stress levels were always excessively high, and I had no support from family.
I learned a long time ago, that as a parent it makes no matter what decisions you make, there will always be someone who decides you are a bad parent for it.0 -
I'm not a mom, but I don't think leashing your children is a good idea at all. Your parent's did not have to put you on leash when you were a child because you knew your limits and you knew when you got too far away from them that you were in trouble! I know a family with 5 children (4 of which are grade school age an under) and I have never seen their kids on a leash. I also have a sister who has three kids (2 under the age of 5) and her oldest is autisitic, and he can be outo f control at times, and she never used a leash. Both are complicated situations and I feel if they can avoid leashing their children, then just about anyone can. Obviously if you have a child with an extreme mental illness that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children.0
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I was volunteering at a kids consignement sale once and I noticed, without fail, the kids on the leashes were the worst behaved children there. My guess is because the parents are too lazy to discipline their child off the leash, a) on a leash is easier than disciplining, b) the child isn't disciplined enough so they are horribly behaved anyway.
Just what I observed. I'm sure there are people here who will say they've used them and their kids are fine.0 -
I never used one for my son, but I understand why some parents do. As a teacher, I often work with students who are ADHD, ODD, and have other severe behavioral problems. These children are often very impulsive and do not listen to directions. Sometimes the stimulation from being in public, may cause them to run off or do other things that would put their safety in jeopardy. Using a leash is not a reflection of these parents parenting skills. They are probably trying to keep their children safe.
+1
Our son has ADHD and is very impulsive and w never used a leash. I just pay very very very close attention to him.
When we were getting out of the car when he could walk, the rule was, as soon as you started to unbuckle him from his carseat, you *HAD* to have a hand on him somewhere. Your hand stayed on him until he was plopped in a cart.
We used a stroller until much later than should be as well for places that did not have strollers. I moved him to a bike trailer style once he got big enough.
To each him own, but to us, a leash was not teaching him anything. At least we were able to teach him (after many many many months of screaming almost being dragged into the store) that he had to HOLD our hand when walking.
Even now at 5.5, my kid rides in the cart. He has to, he has no fear of what will happen if he wanders away, noone is a stranger to him, and he is just too impulsive.
It's not worth it.
He was also tube fed for around 2.5 years, so he could NOT get away......ever. Even after that he had pretty "severe" eating issues (due to being tube fed) which made us even MORE hyper aware of his whereabout constantly.0 -
I have four children and in certain situations we have used them for example a carnival, the mall, really high traffic areas. Honestly I could care LESS what you think because knowing my babies are safe is more important to me than people's dirty looks. Someone cant easily snatch them if they are attached to me. Judgments like these are a waste of time especially if you have never had small children.0
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I'm not a mom, but I don't think leashing your children is a good idea at all. Your parent's did not have to put you on leash when you were a child because you knew your limits and you knew when you got too far away from them that you were in trouble! I know a family with 5 children (4 of which are grade school age an under) and I have never seen their kids on a leash. I also have a sister who has three kids (2 under the age of 5) and her oldest is autisitic, and he can be outo f control at times, and she never used a leash. Both are complicated situations and I feel if they can avoid leashing their children, then just about anyone can. Obviously if you have a child with an extreme mental illness that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children.
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!0 -
You gotta love how judgmental people are about parenting. This is one reason I'm not a member of CafeMom forums or the like, everyone wants to tell you that you're doing it wrong.
Is your kid safe? Yep. Is it hurting them? Nope. Does it give you peace of mind? Yep.
Will it scar them FOREEEEEEVEEEEER? No.
Kudos to all you perfect mothers out there. Way to never make a mistake/need any extra help.0 -
I gave up my first son for adoption at birth, and they put him on a leash, AND he still uses a binky. He's almost three. His brother, who I am raising on my own, is nine months and off the bottle and binky and will certainly never be leashed. I think this proves that it comes down to parenting.
This is not proof it is one occasion and you are discussing a situation in which you have one child.
They are brothers and are practically dopplegangers. They also have one child, who is not autistic. I see no reason why he needs to be leashed. But that's my situation, and its not my place to tell them differently, I just think its a shame.0 -
I was volunteering at a kids consignement sale once and I noticed, without fail, the kids on the leashes were the worst behaved children there. My guess is because the parents are too lazy to discipline their child off the leash, a) on a leash is easier than disciplining, b) the child isn't disciplined enough so they are horribly behaved anyway.
Just what I observed. I'm sure there are people here who will say they've used them and their kids are fine.
Wow, that is quite the blanket statement and judgment call isnt it? My kids happen to be very well behaved but in high traffic situations it is more about their safety than it is "controlling" them.I have beautiful children and there are a lot of creeps out there.0 -
Aahhh...nothing us parents appreciate more than parenting advice from non-parents. I used a leash when my son was pretty small and I would do it again.
First, kids are extremely energetic. I got my son out of the stroller as soon as he started walking. One of my pet peeves is parents pushing big kids in a stroller. Kids naturally want to move about and we should encourage it, not restrict it. When they get tired, pick them up and carry them and give yourself some extra exercise.
Second, small kids are pretty easy to lose in a crowd. I took my son to the fair and he could have easily disappeared into the crowd. With the leash he was able to move about without us losing him.
Of course, being the fun loving person I am, I did tell my son to heel a couple of times.
Like:)0 -
I notice this a lot, parents with their toddler on a leash. Personally I think a leash is for a furry animal, not a child. I can't be the only one who feels this way.
You obviously have no f%cking clue what's it's like to run after a toddler who has no idea about incoming traffic, dangers around them or running after them in a broken foot so keep your stupid opinions to yourself.
Wow with such hostility, this person was asking a question and the last time any of us checked we had the freedom to speak and ask questions.. and as you can plainly see there are many parents on this thread. No one’s opinion is stupid that is why they care called a person opinion you don’t have to like what someone says that is why it is called an opinion.0 -
My sister uses one on her son when they go somewhere with tons of people. He has autism and takes off without a second's notice. She also has a daughter whom she has never used one on. I think there are times when they are necessary. I think it is much safer than losing your child at an amusement park when they can't communicate or even realize that they are lost. Part of being a good parent is protecting your child at all costs.0
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I never put my kid on a leash and use to look down on people who chose to do this. Now that I am older I can see circumstances when one might decide that is the best choice for their kid. For example, I've seen kids who don't want to hold anyones hand when they are walking and they want to be independent, they don't want to sit in a stroller and are constantly trying to climb out (not to mention in stroller there is no exercise, something I have seen often on these boards about kids not being active enough). The above mentioned children I talk about aren't bad by any means, just have independent personalities and are active.0
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the only parents who need these are the ones who havent conditioned their child to THE LOOK. me and my cousins were some bad a$$ed kids.but our leash was that look that burned a whole in the top of your head and said "there are consequences for your actions. keep on the path you're on and face those consequences" . since our family actually DID discipline us, the look was enough to make us fall back in line
and for the record, i have add and so do some of my cousins. your kid having ADD is no excuse for them to behave like a*holes. ADD doesn't mean stupid and can't learn0 -
I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....
well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore
Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.
Are you also against strollers?
I'd really like to know the answer to that question as well. How is a stroller better than a harness/leash?
Lots of people on this thread apparently live in glass houses.0 -
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I did say that, and I posted my personal opinion. Do you have a problem with that? Because I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was asking for.0 -
I have seen (and known) parents with kids who simply WILL NOT listen, and will run ahead or wander off to investigate things. There are kids with attention issues and disabilities that affect their grasp of safety concepts such as "stay close to mummy/daddy". When I was younger, I judged these people with kid leashes. Not anymore. When I eventually have kids, I'm certainly going to try to teach them to stay close without using these things, but if they simply won't listen, then a kid leash it is!0
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Seriously?! I'd much rather use a tether backpack than take the chance of losing my toddler in a crowded place. I used one once on my 18 month old, at an airport, when I was 25 weeks pregnant. Who are you to judge anyway?0
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My son has ADHD. His hyperactivity is so severe that any outing causes such stress that I've considered it ... a number of times. But he'd just chew right through it. And off he'd go anyway.0
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I agree that leashes on kids is just weird, and sort of wrong. I feel that some people need to do it because they cannot control the kids without it. I'm not trying to offend any parents who do use it and read this.0
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As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I did say that, and I posted my personal opinion. Do you have a problem with that? Because I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was asking for.
Well, being as you are not personally raising a child then. Yes I do have a problem with it. That's all.0 -
I would be curious to know if the people who say 'no way' have kids or not. Just to get some perspective on their opinion.
I have a kid and he is a mega-adventurer. We're raring to have a second. No leashes for us.
In general I think the atmosphere for parents and kids vis-a-vis protectiveness has reached a totally pathological level. I live in a suburb which is very safe, and there are 13 year old kids waiting for the school bus, and their parents are waiting with them to make sure they get on the school bus okay. The school busses here stop at people's individual houses, so these are 13 year old kids waiting in their own front yards. I'm like, what? I *guarantee* that's not happening because the parent and child have such an awesome relationship at 13 yo that the kid just loves to hang out with mommy (and be seen doing so by every other kid on the bus). If I haven't equipped my child with the skill to wait to get picked up in the front yard by the time he is thirteen years old, shame on me. And if that's what I've done, hopefully I have enough money to totally support him until he is 50 since he is not learning the skills he needs to be an independent and functional adult.
Kids need to explore their world to learn. If the parents are too lazy to keep up with them, they need to join mfp.
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I have never used a leash but I know a person who did. Her son isn´t normal (Has a brain like few year old child). She didn´t do that because of his condition but because he was a hasard to himself and others and she couldn´t keep up with both him and her over energetic son...actually they both had/have ADHD.0
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I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....
well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore
Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.
Are you also against strollers?
I'd really like to know the answer to that question as well. How is a stroller better than a harness/leash?
Lots of people on this thread apparently live in glass houses.
I did answered it. Read up and learn to be more polite 0 -
I use a leash.. a muzzle is next on the list.
Seriously though, we live in San Francisco, The streets are crazy busy and my 2 year old son likes to take off.. I also have a 4 year old, (who is no longer on a leash). It;s the leash or my son potentially running into traffic.. I'll take the leash.
What I personally find ridiculous is when I see kids who are 4 or older and perfectly capable of walking (with or without a leash) being pushed by their parents in a stroller. that drives me nuts. But, I get it.....some parents are lazy.
My daughter is 3.5 and ride in the stroller on our walks for the mot, but we are out walking for anhour or more. You can't expect a 3 or 4 year old to walk for an hour.
LOVE all the judgment in this thread about other people's parenting decisions.
Hmm.. never really thought about that.. I guess we never walk for an hour or more (with the kids) without taking breaks... to each their own. 0 -
I'm one of those kids who was on a leach when I was 3-4. My mother raised me and my sister (she's 1.5 year younger than me) on her own. She had to take us with her when she went on grocery shopping. On foot. Crossing a railroad. With a stroller in which my sister was in.
A leash on a child, how abhorrent! Yeah, right... Easier said than done. I'd do the same if I was in her shoes.0
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