Putting your KID on a leash

KaidaKantri

Just because a parent may use a Harness on occassion does NOT mean they do not pay attention. Our youngest boy is VERY hard headed and does not listen at times. We are very consistant in our pnishment, yet he still is a child who does disobey on occassion. I think its ridiculous to ASSUME parents who use them are LAZY. You can not compare Babysitting to what you would do as a parent. Children listen different to Parents vs Sitters, Not in all cases but most!

I always want to go up to the parents of kids who do this and go "Awe, how cute, what breed is he/she?" Leashes belong on dogs, not kids. I don't have kids myself, but I've babysat a LOT. I've never once had a problem losing any, IMO parents put their kids on a leash because they are too lazy to enforce rules, and think it's okay. It's really not that difficult to hold onto their hand or put them in a cart. I've also had to deal with some very bratty kids too. Again, I've never lost a kid this way, and I won't when I have my kids either. Of course, I plan on paying attention to my kids and teaching them how to behave in a good manor.

Not ALL parents who use a leash are like that, I'll agree. But every single parent that I see use a leash that I've watched, they never once paid attention to their kid. I've even seen quite a few drag their kid with the leash. I strongly believe leash's belong on pets. A child is not a pet, therefore they should not have a leash. HOWEVER I will begrudgingly admit that in some instances, it would be necessary to have one for the child's safety. I figure, if my kids wont listen and behave in a store and dart off, they won't go anywhere, they will learn.

feydruss

I have 21 month old twin boys who are VERY active, one of whom is incredibly stubborn. The other one will hold my hand when we walk somewhere, but the goat-child will not. Believe me, we constantly work on discipline and safety, but some kids at that age just don't think rationally. Their impulse control is not that great! The amount of bizarre things they put in their mouths is proof of that!

That said, I tried to use the cute animal harnesses (monkey hugging their back, holding onto the tail as the "leash", etc.) a few times in places like airports or malls, but not very successfully. Same with the "hold on handles". This isn't me in the picture, but a good example of how it goes:

http://i.imgur.com/c85rx.jpg

I do think that putting a 4 year old on a safety harness should not be necessary unless they have developmental issues or have been poorly trained/parented. And I WISH I could get my guys to sit in the stroller, but they've been a lot less interested in that since they discovered walking/running.

I wish there was a solution that didn't involve accusations of "lazy parenting". I've held them kicking and screaming under my arms like footballs, but as they're 25lbs each that gets awkward. They won't let me check a cute wagon on the jetway when we fly (which we do, often). Even if you can get them both to hold your hand, if one pulls away and runs, what do you do with the other one? Say "stay there" and run after the other one? No, you have to pick that one up and chase the other, then try to pick them up, etc. So unless you've been in that situation, please don't judge what I or anyone else might feel they have to do to keep their kids safe.

Bottom line: don't judge unless you've had two or more small children at the same time and have been in the position of trying to restrain them so they don't run into traffic because they see a backhoe loader across the street.

dhakiyya

I'm not a mom, but I don't think leashing your children is a good idea at all. Your parent's did not have to put you on leash when you were a child because you knew your limits and you knew when you got too far away from them that you were in trouble! I know a family with 5 children (4 of which are grade school age an under) and I have never seen their kids on a leash. I also have a sister who has three kids (2 under the age of 5) and her oldest is autisitic, and he can be outo f control at times, and she never used a leash. Both are complicated situations and I feel if they can avoid leashing their children, then just about anyone can. Obviously if you have a child with an extreme mental illness that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children.

As you said.... you are NOT a mom!

She may not be a mom but she has some VALID points... " Obviously if you have a child with an EXTREME MENTAL ILLNESS that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children."

Average child at what age though? The average child is very different at 3 than at 2, at 4 than at 3, at 5 than at 4, etc etc you get the picture. No 2 yr olds understand the concept of personal safety, they don't have the cognitive development for it.

Most parents have their 2 yr old in a stroller getting no exercise and no opportunity to explore and learn their limits. Then those parents are saying that parents who let their 2 yr olds walk but keep them on reins are lazy? Sorry but there's some weird double standards here, especially when they come from people who don't seem to understand the concept that kids have different levels of neurological development at different ages.

catcrazy

Yes. I used wrist restraints on all 4 of my kids (now aged 24-15) The oldest was just for a wee while as she was the only one and single kids are easier to watch than multiple kids but the others used them for longer...until they started nursery aged 31/2.

In the UK thepavement/ footpath is usually around a meter from the road, kids came out of strollers around 2 years old back then and there is no reasoning with a 2 year old, no matter how good a parent you are. They still held my hand and the restraint hardly ever actually got used despite being on.

My kids were 9, 6, 3 & 0. My 9 year old would hold the 6 year olds hand and I would be pushing the pram one handed while holding the toddlers hand...the restraint was there as a safety back up, it wasn't lazy parenting, it was precautionary. I didnt use them in stores as they would stay by my side and if they did bolt(rare) I could chase after them and get them back pretty quickly...might not be so lucky if it was on a road!

Parenting topics always end up so judgmental...each to their own as long as no one is getting hurt/abused.

samf36

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No kids, but I agree..If your child is well trained he/she wont misbehave, and if you watch him/her closely and keep him/her near and incheck, they wont be snatched by anyone.
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Thank you I have not laughed so hard in years... What a funny , funny statement.

Lleldiranne

I notice this a lot, parents with their toddler on a leash. Personally I think a leash is for a furry animal, not a child. I can't be the only one who feels this way.

You are not the only one.. leashes are for animals not children.. and if you need to place your child on a leash then maybe they
need some more home training.. sorry just my .02

Every had your 2 year old dash out into a busy parking lot? Turn your back for 1 second, and even well behaved kids can do something scary. Now imagine debating between chasing said 2 year old or pulling newborn out of car first (you can't leave a baby alone after all).

Can you see why some kids survive better on a leash? It's not bad or lazy parenting. It's knowing that kids will be kids and prevention is better than finding yourself in the ER with a broken little one.

And, guess what … 10 + years later they are VERY well behaved teens and pre-teens.

shoesalwaysfit

I have twins, and when they were little one would go in one direction and one would go in another - so yes, I tried this. Unfortunately, they were just too active and it did not work at all.

M_lifts

Hehe, i love how people make comments about kids not being animals and than say if your child was' trained' to behave. isnt that likening it to an animal. When i didnt have kids i agreed with the OP.

However, now that i do, safety first. Kids are unpredictable- especially 2-3 year olds with 20-30 second attention spans and no common sense. Most of us need to protect them from causing harm to themselves. I use reigns occassionally as it helps.

Its easy to judge, however until, you have your own kids you dont know what its like.

MissFit0101

I completely agree. And yes, I have a 2 year old, a very difficult 2 year old at that... but no, I still would not put him on a leash. He is NOT an animal. He is a human being. How humiliating to a child, even if they aren't old enough to understand it.

benich3043

The Ergos are what we use as well. And I agree about no matter what you are doing, you can be on an electronic device. I am talking about those parents that are not only ignoring their child, but everything else around them because they are buried in it as they walk around town or the store or whatever it is they are doing.

jasbookworm

I think it's stupid to put a kid on a leash. Your kid is not a wild animal! It's you CHILD. If you can't control your own child, well, you're not a good parent. In "Modern Family," one family had their little girl on a leash in DISNEYLAND and someone told her to buy her princess shoes (high heels) so she can't run away too fast. Parents should think up something other than a leash.

beach_please

I have no issue with them as long as they're not used in place of supervising your kids and teaching them to stay with you. I have one that I bought years ago but only felt the need to use it one time when my middle son was two years old. We went to a huge amusement park and it made me feel better to know that we couldn't be separated.

It only takes a second for them to get away from you or for you to look away to do something and then your child is lost in a sea of people.

I will deal with judgy people giving me the hairy eyeball ANY DAY over taking the chance of my child getting lost.

sissypunks

i do have one and have used it when we were in a large crowd or at the zoo because i have a very hyper child but for everyday no i don't use them but they r hand when u need them i always pay attention to all of my kids even when my then 4 year old was in her backpack!

cbendorf13

I gave up my first son for adoption at birth, and they put him on a leash, AND he still uses a binky. He's almost three. His brother, who I am raising on my own, is nine months and off the bottle and binky and will certainly never be leashed. I think this proves that it comes down to parenting.

This is not proof it is one occasion and you are discussing a situation in which you have one child.

They are brothers and are practically dopplegangers. They also have one child, who is not autistic. I see no reason why he needs to be leashed. But that's my situation, and its not my place to tell them differently, I just think its a shame.

You obviously care about the child's best interest and some people do use them too often. I think each child and each situation should be looked at in the best interest of the child. If you have concerns and feel comfortable you should voice them.

Josette89

Hahaha. I used to think the same thing. But nowadays you don't know what type of people are around you. I think it is more to protect a child than to control them. It would be nice if you can trust children to stay at your side in the grocery store (if they keep fidgeting in the cart) but realistically they will be attracted to some shiny object and try to run off. Then Mr./Ms. Creeper over there snatches your kid while you are grazing through produce. We are now in a world where men like men, women like women, and adults go after children for there sick pleasure.... If all it takes to prevent lost children and kidnapping is a little "leash", then I'll buy one. I just need to have kids first

LuckyAng

I never used them on my kids, but then again I might have in a large crowd if my kids were runners. My friend's kid, at 2 yrs old, would just take off running in an instant - didn't mean she wasn't watching him. Not at all. Didn't mean he wasn't behaved either. I can see both sides of the situation. I certainly didn't think she wasn't doing her job as a mother.

BTW, I was the all-knowing expert about raising kids when I was single with no children. Funny how 20 years and 3 kids later I have a much better perspective.

Thank you. My kids are 14 months apart, and my youngest was a runner. I used a wrist strap (velcro around my wrist and hers, with elastic connecting) not more than a couple times, and only in places that were super crowded. She was walking at 9 months, so by the time she was a year she could RUN. Other people judging me was the furthest thing from my mind, my first concern was my daughter's safety.

neti_call

Yeah, I have a leash. And I don't lose my kid on trips. I'd rather deal with dirty stares than a missing or kidnapped toddler. Anyone who gives me a dirty look doesn't have a toddler with ants in his pants.

SPNLuver83

I can't stand seeing that. Kids are not pets. HOLD THEIR HAND.

IronmanPanda

I dont bother with the leash. I just duct tape them to the nearest tree.

vestarocks

I used to think it was awful parenting until I gave birth to a "bolter". On occasion, if we were going someplace with a lot of people, in order to keep him safe, we'd use a wrist strap. Judge away.

Leigh_D

I notice this a lot, parents with their toddler on a leash. Personally I think a leash is for a furry animal, not a child. I can't be the only one who feels this way.

You are not the only one who feels this way, but I tell you what, it worked for me! My kid was a RUNNER. As much as I tried to train her to listen to me, most toddlers have very poor impulse control. I saved the backpack with a tether for situations when we were in a crowd -- like festivals and airports -- to keep us from getting separated. It can happen in the blink of an eye. What a life-saver!!

beccyleigh

so many clearly superior parents on this website who would "NEVER" use a harness for their kids as the kids are just so perfect & well behaves. lol Get over yourself people, if someone chooses to use one then how the hell is it hurting you in any way, shape or form?

My son had a harness, you know why, cause he wanted to walk everywhere from the age of 14 months, he didn't like holding hands & as I am 6ft it would have killed my back to be lent down on one side all the time anyway. Once he wa old enough to hold on to my hand without giving me back ache or walk beside his buggy unassisted then we got rid of it but it is a useful parenting aid especially for small kids & speedy toddlers. Is my son traumatized,? No Am I a bad parent? No. So shove that in your perfect parenting pipe & well.....

marasw

I was on a leash as a child lol. I even have pics. Now I'm a perfectly normal well-adjusted adult.

beachlover317

the only parents who need these are the ones who havent conditioned their child to THE LOOK. me and my cousins were some bad a$$ed kids.but our leash was that look that burned a whole in the top of your head and said "there are consequences for your actions. keep on the path you're on and face those consequences" . since our family actually DID discipline us, the look was enough to make us fall back in line

and for the record, i have add and so do some of my cousins. your kid having ADD is no excuse for them to behave like a*holes. ADD doesn't mean stupid and can't learn

That is the rudest thing I have seen on this site - and believe me there has been a lot. You OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING about ADD. No it doesn't mean stupid. It is a spectrum disorder. Remember??? But the majority of the time it comes with the inability to understand consequences and just as often the inability to delay reactions. Good grief.

grammacarol1943

Maybe it really was well spent money. You learned a great lesson, that children will learn to listen and pay attention to their parents.

twinmom430

I hope the OP got what she was looking for by posting such a controversial topic. I never understand why topics such as these....or politics, religion etc are posted on a fitness site. It wasn't like she was asking a question or needed input, she just wanted to drop a radon thought/attack and run.
While I love a little debate, I hate the attacks on people's child rearing, and beliefs. No one is right or wrong, no one should look at someone and think they are "lazy", "inhumane " etc for a decision they make. Why should someone be made to feel like they are being judged b/c they are making a decision they think is keeping their child safe. As someone said I'd rather my child be safe than on the side of a milk carton.

glovepuppet

toddlers...

you can either push them in a buggy, hold their hand or use a leash. you need them tethered to something because they're too young to know danger, they move fast and you can't have your attention on them and only them when you're out and about, especially if you have more than one child
.
the kid feels more indepenent and comfortable on a leash. have you had your arm held over your head for over an hour lately? been strapped into a chair while everyone else stretches their legs? they're also pretty cool for saving the skin on their knees and hands from the frequent toppling over that toddlers do.

18-36 months, leashes are great!

you think a two year old worries that you think leashes are for animals? or do you think they're too busy eploring the world, on their own two feel, with both hands free and comfortable? your prejudices mean nothing to them. nothing at all.

a safety line is lazy? a security precaution is bad parenting? silly. silly is the word that springs to mind.

PANZERIA

Lol, when I have a toddler who wants his independence, but I need to get some shopping done, then hell yeah he's going to be on a leash. Same with an amusement park. Having a husband who works as a police officer makes you realize just how many wackos there are out there, and that you can never be too careful.

RadiantxReality

Clearly you don't have children. Yes, I use a leash. My kid doesn't always want to be strapped down in a stroller, and she doesn't understand the concept that she HAS to hold my hand. I'm definitely not going to let her just run wild somewhere crowded, hence, the leash.

linhmaimac

This mom wants to get back into shape after having 2 kids. The oldest is near 2, the youngest is 4 months. When I'm home alone and want to take my kids on our evening walks, I wear my infant in a sling or bjorn, and my toddler wears her backpack that contains a leash and her sippy cup. My toddler holds my hand while she enjoys her walk, the fresh air, exploring and sightseeing, getting her exercise, picking up acorns and sticks, etc.

This horrible leash that many of you are refferring to allows all the above while preventing the hazards of the road and the "oh my god, i cant believe that child got hit by a car" moment because shes 2 and darted in the street. I mega triple dog dare someone come up to me while I'm wearing my baby and walking with my toddler and asking what "breed" my toddler is.

This is not being lazy or irresponsible or inattentive.

This is about exercise and safety.