Putting your KID on a leash

dhakiyya

When taking out a single stroller with two children (aged 7 months and 2 years) I sometimes make the 2 year old walk with a wrist leash. No, it does not make me a lazy parent. If I did not use the wrist leash, he has been known to dart towards the road. I still hold his hand, even with the leash on.

My care giver also uses the wrist leash with my son if he has to walk. People have chastised her on it, but she had a very good point about it. Before, she had a little guy like my son. Liked to dart away while the caregiver had a stroller. She had ropes she would make the children hold onto if they were walking, but it didn't work for this child. Here is the conversation.

Random woman: why are you treating that child like an animal? Leashes are only for pets.
Caregiver: so, you will keep your pets safe, but not a child?

For me, the wrist leash is a safety thing.

I agree! I've used reins on my kids when they were aged 1-2 when there was a danger (e.g. traffic) so that they could walk instead of being stuck in a stroller, because I want them to be active and have strong legs and get used to walking from a young age. At this age you cannot expect them to do exactly what you tell them like a 3-4 yr old, but at the same time they usually don't want to be in a stroller in the first place and there's so much childhood obesity nowadays that the younger they get into the habit of being active the better.

Also just because you have a child in reins does not mean that you're not holding their hand or teaching them how to walk next to you. They're an additional safety thing that can be the difference between life and death if you're walking by a busy road. Kids don't always do what they're told, no matter how good a parent you are, and if they do suddenly decide to run off (toddlers are very easily distracted), you don't want them running into the road. With reins, they can't get as far as the road. In the malI I don't use them (no traffic, if they run off I can go get them), but I do keep them in my handbag and tell my kids that if they don't behave they'll be put on them I've not had to use them and they generally do behave very well.

nothing1994

If people could raise their children properly, leashes would not be needed.

Children are curious! They want to see things and wonder around...

How obnoxious.

Pookylou

My brother had to be on a leash as he liked shiny things and would try and dart out to look at cars... I didn't need 'em cause I was a bloody awesome child :smokin:

MisterGoodBar

No leashes, ever for your kid. Disciplne your children people! Aargh, pisses me off to see that type of latitude afforded to kids.

beachlover317

If people could raise their children properly, leashes would not be needed.

That's very judgemental and short sighted. One has nothing to do with the other.

peachyxoxoxo

We bought a backpack that had a strap to attach to it when we traveled on an airplane with our then 2 year old. He is innately curious and I was so worried that he would wander off. I filled it with toys for the plane, and he still loves it a year later (although I have lost the strap). Peace of mind was totally worth any stares we got, but, to be honest, I didn't notice anyone, I was too busy with our luggage and 2 active boys to care!

I was just 2 years old the first time I traveled by airplane and my mom had a "leash" to keep track of me. I joke around with her and say "I can't believe you had me on a leash!" but in all honesty I think it's a smart idea. Not degrading or abuse or anything like that. I would probably do it with my own future child if we were somewhere busy where I was worried about his/her safety.

Erica27511

puffidredz

I have 3 kids. I never though I had to or needed to use one. That was until I had my 3rd child.

Go a head and flame away. If you have a kid who is a runner like mine and If you have ever seen her in action. Then you can judge me. Until, MYOB!!! Oh and I dare one of you to grow balls and ask one of these parents WHY!!!

doubt they ever would; hiding behind the anonymity of the internet people will say anything

kaotik26

To be honest I tried it, my daughter would take off running and it would pretty much 'clothesline' her. So I gave up. I realize now it was a good thing because instead of just holding on to her like that I have actually 'taught' her to stay close to me.

moxiecowgirl

If people could raise their children properly, leashes would not be needed.

I used to have exactly this thought. And then my daughter was born deaf. She's 19 now, but when she was a toddler, she wanted to get down and walk just like everyone else. I dare anyone to tell me I was a bad parent for choosing to keep my daughter and her sister, who is now 20, close to me in crowd situations where she wouldn't be able to hear me, and might not necessarily be able to cue from me visually with all the additional stimulation going on around her. As for her sister, I can't count the number of times before I broke down and decided to use a leash that she would quietly walk away and go sit a few feet from me while my back was turned trying to communicate with my other daughter, only to cause me a moment's panic while I tried to figure out where she was. Out of control kid? I hardly think so. She was simply removing herself from a situation where the eye wasn't on her. It was instinctual for her. Maybe it wasn't the perfect choice, but how much logic can you really ask from a 2-year-old?

I will admit we were an extreme case, but some people might want to consider that you don't always know the whole story before you paint all "offenders" with the same brush. A child may appear perfectly normal to your eyes, but there may be other issues about which you know nothing.

faefaith

I think the issue may be how the leash is being viewed. If you see a leash, you are most likely going to associate it with pets. So, when you see a kid connected to one, the brain automatically goes to kid = pet.

However! I think if the leash could be seen differently this emotional reaction may not pop up and take us by surprise. I think the leash could be used as a tool for the kid to explore and remain grounded. A transition tool to independence.

AwesomePossum82

My child would rather be in a harness than stuck in a darn stroller. It hasn't badly affected him. He is a special child and needs to be harnessed at times. He is properly disciplined, however he is NOT like most children. What would you suggest instead?! You do know children can be properly disciplined, yet will continue not to listen, right?!

No leashes, ever for your kid. Disciplne your children people! Aargh, pisses me off to see that type of latitude afforded to kids.

JanSmelly

I would never put my kids on a leash. It is called parenting, watch your kids when your out somewhere. I have 4 young kids and I have figured it out...if parents need to put their kid on a leash it is definately because they aren't well behaved/trained to stay close to their parents.

I am so happy you have parented every child out there. Congrats on being the Best Parent Ever!

My twins wore a leash a handful of time when they were around 15 months and I was by myself. What fun is the zoo when you're strapped in a stroller? Not to mention they preferred the leash to the stroller. IMO good parenting is respecting the needs of your child and keeping them safe.

My singleton has never wanted or needed a leash. She is happy to hold hands, enjoys the Ergo, or stroller.

Different kids, different needs.

Stroller = Confinement and restrainment aka another way to make sure your child is safe.

SFbarmaid

No leashes, ever for your kid. Disciplne your children people! Aargh, pisses me off to see that type of latitude afforded to kids.

wow. even if your kids is a runner? I discipline my kids plenty... that doesn't mean that they are not curious. I live in a big city with busy streets and I would rather have my kid on a leash than injured.
I'm sure you did everything you were told and stayed right by your mom's side as a child.
better safe than sorry.

LivingyoungErin76

no way. Leashes are for animals, not children. I cringe when I see people with their children on a leash.

liss125

I would never put my kids on a leash. It is called parenting, watch your kids when your out somewhere. I have 4 young kids and I have figured it out...if parents need to put their kid on a leash it is definately because they aren't well behaved/trained to stay close to their parents.

I am so happy you have parented every child out there. Congrats on being the Best Parent Ever!

My twins wore a leash a handful of time when they were around 15 months and I was by myself. What fun is the zoo when you're strapped in a stroller? Not to mention they preferred the leash to the stroller. IMO good parenting is respecting the needs of your child and keeping them safe.

My singleton has never wanted or needed a leash. She is happy to hold hands, enjoys the Ergo, or stroller.

Different kids, different needs.

Stroller = Confinement and restrainment aka another way to make sure your child is safe.

taunto

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore

Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.

IamSheaMc

I would never put my kids on a leash. It is called parenting, watch your kids when your out somewhere. I have 4 young kids and I have figured it out...if parents need to put their kid on a leash it is definately because they aren't well behaved/trained to stay close to their parents.

No kids, but I agree..If your child is well trained he/she wont misbehave, and if you watch him/her closely and keep him/her near and incheck, they wont be snatched by anyone.

Kids are curious by nature that is why we "train" them. They are not born to know they shouldn't cross a street. Training children is like training your muscles it takes time and we make mistakes. Children have been snatched from their beds here in California. I don't think anyone could prepare for that.

You are twisting what I said..by snatched, I meant kidnappers don't really go up to people in public and snatch a child who is being closely watched. no need to talk about when they are in bed, we are talking about when the parent is there(around) not when they are in bed, noone lets their kids sleep with a leash on(I hope).

I know they are curious and that's why we train them. EXACTLY! so train them to know that when we go out don't misbehave! I was a child and I was trained well, I was curious but my mother didn't have me running wild in stores, I knew better.

alisiaendris

Although I do not like the idea of the kid leashes, I do know that doctors reccomend them as they keep parents from yanking their child's arm out of the socket when trying to protect the child from a fall. From the physical therapy point of view-it is important that a child learn to protect themselves as they fall in order to prevent serious injury. A child cannot do this if someone is always holding them up. They also help the child to learn to balance properly, which they will need in order to develop their gross motor skills.

WifeNMama

My boys aren't all that rambunctious, but if I felt I needed one, I would use it, and not worry about strangers' opinions of me, my children, or my parenting skills, which is none of their business. Sometimes children forget what they've been taught, no matter how well you've taught them. I'd rather they be at the end of a leash than sprinting across a parking lot, under a car or in the hands of a kidnapper.

Leashes should be a supplement, not a substitute for good, consistent teaching and discipline.

russellma

If you think leashes reflect bad parenting, you should see those awful parents that actually STRAP their kids into a carseat while they let their pet roam around the vehicle... I've even seen them let their pet sit on their laps. I can't imagine how unloved those poor children feel, while they look on. They must feel so stupid to think that a dog is smart enough to keep from getting hurt in a car, but they're not. It's just not right, I tell you!

Seriously, I never used a leash with my 3 kids, but I think it's kind of silly to judge someone for being concerned about their child's safety. Honestly, if my kids were given a choice, I'll bet they would have preferred a leash! Until they proved that I could always trust them, they had to hold my hand in public places, so their adventure ended where my arm did. At least with a "leash" (although I think a wrist strap is more accurate), they could have had a few more feet to roam. They were always stuck in the shopping cart in stores, because I needed my hands but didn't want anything to happen to them.

So, although I don't regret not using the "leash", I can definitely see why it would be beneficial for the parent and the child.

Justa_Paperbag

I always thought it was mean... even after I became a parent to my oldest, I thought it was mean. Then I had my second - an autistic child who doesn't always respond to his name or to "stop," who won't hold hands/can slip out of grasp in a split second, and who runs without caution into dangerous situations without any understanding of safety (streets, parking lots, etc. I quickly discovered that in certain situations, his safety is of more concern than what other people think of me. Judge me all you want, but there are times where I have to put an animal back pack with a tail on him, and I'd rather have a kid on a leash than have a kid who has been hurt or killed because I'm afraid of what others think of me.

Edited to say that I have never had to use or even THINK about using a leash with my older child. It took until I had a child who has special needs before I "got it." I'm also a lot more tolerant now of children having meltdowns in a public place, because I UNDERSTAND that it's not all about the way a child is parented that leads to them acting out. I'm no longer so quick to judge others because my eyes have been opened, so to speak.

stfriend

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore

Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.

Good grief. I've never seen a kid older than about 7 on a leash, and thats rare. Most kids are 2-3 yrs old and most likely have a history of running from the parent. I've seen kids actually do this in the mall and the parents are running to catch them. How is securing the kid by leash, thereby letting them walk around and explore a little on their own, any worse than securing them in a stroller? One could also argue that by leashing the kid they are actually giving them a sense of independence while still keeping them from harm.

theartichoke

I'm with Moxie.

My son is Autistic and completely fearless. We had a monkey backpack with a tail like a leash we'd use when we took him places with crowds. He'd have been gone in 2 seconds if he saw something he was interested in. I can't explain what being away from Mommy and Daddy means. Or what happens if he gets away from us, what to do, how to help himself. He couldn't tell anyone who he belonged with, my name, where he lives and he wouldn't even be able to understand what was happening to him. We got looks for it but fortunately, no one said a word.

I'm sure some people use it for other reasons but for those of us trying to do the best we can, it's necessary.

abberbabber

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore

Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.

Are you also against strollers?

dhakiyya

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore

Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.

Interesting. I'm not talking about putting school aged children on "leashes" also the pics on this thread they look like leashes, not like toddler reins that you get in the UK (harness, plus a hand strap, doesn't look like a dog leash at all see: http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/sis.html?_nkw=MOTHERCARE+REINS ). In the UK a lot of parents put toddlers (i.e. age 1-3) on reins until they're mature enough to be trusted to listen when you say "stop at the kerb" and "walk next to mummy" (etc). Maybe in the USA kids this age are in strollers?

Anyway as to when to stop using the reins, mine are 5 and 2 the 5 yr old has not been in them for a very long time. the 2 yr old not for several months although if we had to walk along a busy road a significant distance I'd put my 2 yr old on them just for safety, then she can not be on them once we're somewhere without traffic, e.g. in the mall or supermarket. (the UK ones you can detatch the strap from the harness). the transition to freedom is a lot less of a transition than when you take a child out of a stroller and start making them walk instead of being wheeled around. At first they are walking next to you on reins, then they are walking next to you not on reins. It's not really much different. And as I've never used them full time it's even less of a transition.

I also think that parents who use reins as an alternative to strollers are getting an unfair amount of flak on this thread. If one person's 2 yr old is in a stroller, how can they accuse another person of being lazy because their 2 yr old is on a "leash"? (which isn't a leash, it's reins and looks nothing like a leash).

taunto

I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....

well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore

Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.

Good grief. I've never seen a kid older than about 7 on a leash, and thats rare. Most kids are 2-3 yrs old and most likely have a history of running from the parent. I've seen kids actually do this in the mall and the parents are running to catch them. How is securing the kid by leash, thereby letting them walk around and explore a little on their own, any worse than securing them in a stroller? One could also argue that by leashing the kid they are actually giving them a sense of independence while still keeping them from harm.

Ah my apologies then. Like I said, not a parent, just thinking out loud. I guess if they're very very young then if it has to be done *shrug* I just had the image of some 7 years old being dragged around like a dog.

sweetchildomine

This graphic is dumb because she's in a motorized chair so OBVIOUSLY she can't run after her child if he got away. The leash is completely necessary in that situation. Why are people are so damn judgmental?!

cbendorf13

I gave up my first son for adoption at birth, and they put him on a leash, AND he still uses a binky. He's almost three. His brother, who I am raising on my own, is nine months and off the bottle and binky and will certainly never be leashed. I think this proves that it comes down to parenting.

This is not proof it is one occasion and you are discussing a situation in which you have one child.

Molly_Maguire

I think it depends on the age of the kid. If your child is well-behaved, and a good listener, or over the age of 5, it may not be necessary. But in a crowded public place, where a very outgoing, trusting child with an underdeveloped sense of "Stranger Danger" might get snatched, I think those little monkey/puppy backpack leashes are an excellent idea. I have one for my little boy, and as soon as he starts to walk, you bet I'm using it!

My little brother was an extremely sneaky little escape artist as a 3-6 year old, and I only wish kid-leashes had been around back then. I know my parents do too, it wold have saved them a LOT of worrying and calls to zoo/mall /Disneyland security to be on the lookout for a missing blond toddler. (My parents were very good, attentive parents, they never "let" him escape, he just outsmarted us all the time, so don't blame it on bad parenting.)