Lying on a job application (teenager)

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  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
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    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    WTF I'm confused?

    she has taken to mfp before about her "degenerate" step son, talking about how she took him in and no one else wanted him, blahblahblah, and then won't listen to reason.

    Seriously? Degenerate? Oh please. And who says what you say here on MFP is "reason?" LMAO!

    You are being very mean. This is not needed OP. Very rude.
  • Mceastes
    Mceastes Posts: 303 Member
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    Personally, I wouldn't do it. I have two kids and they know that wouldn't fly with me. Having said that, if someone wants to do it, it's not like it's the end of the world and I realize that, it's just a teenage job application. I just wouldn't do it, it's not the example I want to set. So if you don't want to do it, OP then don't. It's a good lesson that if you're going to lie, and that lie depends on someone else also lying for you, you might want to check with them BEFORE you tell the lie!
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
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    Yes nobody else wanted him. Not even his dad that I married? I wish I was a smart wordly 26 year old again!

    Wow! That was uncalled for. Why are you being rude to strangers over the internet? She stated her opinions, you attack her age. Sounds like a VERY appropriate response.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    WTF I'm confused?

    she has taken to mfp before about her "degenerate" step son, talking about how she took him in and no one else wanted him, blahblahblah, and then won't listen to reason.

    Seriously? Degenerate? Oh please. And who says what you say here on MFP is "reason?" LMAO!

    You are being very mean. This is not needed OP. Very rude.

    Please tell me how that is rude? Becaus I don't find some young, rude, non parental advice to be "reason"???
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Yes nobody else wanted him. Not even his dad that I married? I wish I was a smart wordly 26 year old again!
    I'm not sure what your point is in all this. You began the topic asking for validation of what you had already decided to do. You got feedback and now claim to be laughing at other people's advice? Why?

    The other question I have for you is why was it necessary to call him your stepson instead of son? Just curious about that. I never introduce or refer to my "step" children as such. I refer to them as my sons and daughter. Is that what's causing an issue for you? Would you feel differently if it was your biological son? I'm not being snarky. I'm really interested.
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
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    I thought she gave good reason, granted, I am not a parent. I just got from the tone of your messages (don't take offense) that you were having some attitude, and trying to be little her.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Yes nobody else wanted him. Not even his dad that I married? I wish I was a smart wordly 26 year old again!
    I'm not sure what your point is in all this. You began the topic asking for validation of what you had already decided to do. You got feedback and now claim to be laughing at other people's advice? Why?

    The other question I have for you is why was it necessary to call him your stepson instead of son? Just curious about that. I never introduce or refer to my "step" children as such. I refer to them as my sons and daughter. Is that what's causing an issue for you? Would you feel differently if it was your biological son? I'm not being snarky. I'm really interested.

    Because he is my step son. I didn't birth him and he has a mom who did her best for 10+ years. I will never take that role from her simply because she is violently ill. I am his step mom. She is his mom. Even if she can't raise him at all anymore. She is very ill. I treat my two boys the same. Equally. But they both prefer to refer to their steps as steps. They have bios.

    I was asking for view points. Doesn't mean it will make my decision. I can do that on my own. I was bored......looking for a friendly debate. It didn't have to get personal. But as always on mfp.............
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    You probably will not have to lie for him. Most employers prefer references from previous employers, teachers, guidance counselors, , coaches, etc
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Personally, I wouldn't do it. I have two kids and they know that wouldn't fly with me. Having said that, if someone wants to do it, it's not like it's the end of the world and I realize that, it's just a teenage job application. I just wouldn't do it, it's not the example I want to set. So if you don't want to do it, OP then don't. It's a good lesson that if you're going to lie, and that lie depends on someone else also lying for you, you might want to check with them BEFORE you tell the lie!

    Yep!
  • noogie98
    noogie98 Posts: 420 Member
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    So my step son put me as a reference using my maiden name and listed me as a "friend of the family" on a job application. I told him I won't lie for him. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?

    I wouldn't do it ~ first, he lied using your maiden name and unless that is your legal name, that would be strike one in my book. Strike two would be that he listed his stepmother as a 'friend of the family'. Doesn't matter that you are not blood relatives, you are his step mom & should be regarded as such. It sounds like he didn't ask before doing this, that would be strike 3 and therefore, he's out. Doesn't matter what kind of job he is applying for ~ lying is lying and no excuses make that right.

    Stand your ground. He has to learn values sometime and there is no time like the present. You are not being unreasonable, just a parent. That is not an easy job, and sometimes we aren't the most popular people on the planet. :flowerforyou:
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
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    So I am confused by all those that are saying...DO IT THEY PROBABLY WILL NOT CALL YOU ANYWAY.

    So if you are encouraging him to lie why not tell him to put down someone else e.g., Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, etc..they are not going to call anyway...besides continue the lie and provide a wrong number and just tell them "I think they moved this week."

    Again, I saw nothing in her opening statement that said she was not going to help him she just did not want him lying. And as someone else said teenagers have others they can use outside of family e.g., teachers, counselors, people from church, and friends who may be working.
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    I don't think she should lie for him. It sounds like he already listed her as a reference. I was just stating that she may not even get a call since she was listed as a friend of the family.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    So my step son put me as a reference using my maiden name and listed me as a "friend of the family" on a job application. I told him I won't lie for him. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?

    I wouldn't do it ~ first, he lied using your maiden name and unless that is your legal name, that would be strike one in my book. Strike two would be that he listed his stepmother as a 'friend of the family'. Doesn't matter that you are not blood relatives, you are his step mom & should be regarded as such. It sounds like he didn't ask before doing this, that would be strike 3 and therefore, he's out. Doesn't matter what kind of job he is applying for ~ lying is lying and no excuses make that right.

    Stand your ground. He has to learn values sometime and there is no time like the present. You are not being unreasonable, just a parent. That is not an easy job, and sometimes we aren't the most popular people on the planet. :flowerforyou:

    :flowerforyou:
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I don't think she should lie for him. It sounds like he already listed her as a reference. I was just stating that she may not even get a call since she was listed as a friend of the family.

    True. And as a parent who desperately wants her child to get a job and start experiencing responsibilty and independance, I will give a "he's a great boy!" reference if needed. He knows now after our talk at dinner our expectations for future references. :)
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    I don't think she should lie for him. It sounds like he already listed her as a reference. I was just stating that she may not even get a call since she was listed as a friend of the family.

    True. And as a parent who desperately wants her child to get a job and start experiencing responsibilty and independance, I will give a "he's a great boy!" reference if needed. He knows now after our talk at dinner our expectations for future references. :)

    Sounds like you handled it well.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I don't think she should lie for him. It sounds like he already listed her as a reference. I was just stating that she may not even get a call since she was listed as a friend of the family.

    True. And as a parent who desperately wants her child to get a job and start experiencing responsibilty and independance, I will give a "he's a great boy!" reference if needed. He knows now after our talk at dinner our expectations for future references. :)

    Sounds like you handled it well.

    Thank you. We can only hope! :) He's a good kid.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    These forums cause me to weep for humanity.
  • missworld95
    missworld95 Posts: 131 Member
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    Who cares? Be happy he's not a prude. Always doing the right thing is so generic and boring (seriously)
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    These forums cause me to weep for humanity.

    I don't think weeping if a good look for flaming skulls.
  • gauchogirl
    gauchogirl Posts: 467 Member
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    It's clear from the original post that you already believe it's wrong. But you asking here just makes it appear that you want everyone to agree with you so you don't feel like the "bad guy" for not helping him out. Which means you actually aren't comfortable with the decision, or you wouldn't be seeking validation. If you were completely and totally solid in your belief that it was wrong to lie for him, you wouldn't be asking strangers their opinion.

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