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Intermittent Farting.

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Replies

  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    When practiced properly, one can fart their way back into an old set of jeans.

    but, by that time, I think I would be out of clean underwear to go with said jeans. Oh well. Time to go commando.
  • Heyyleigh
    Heyyleigh Posts: 268 Member
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    HAHAHAHAHA YA'LL ARE TOO FUNNY! :laugh:
  • BLady44
    BLady44 Posts: 50 Member
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    lol, too funny..
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    Dayyyuuummm! Now just to imagine how many calories I would burn if I queefed while doing Zumba again... :noway:

    Does queefing while doing Zumba increase calories burned or will it overexert me and cause my body to hold its fat?

    Well, are you doing it before 7 pm? If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING after 7 pm, it causes you to gain weight.
  • BubbleGumKisses
    BubbleGumKisses Posts: 156 Member
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    How bout farting under water? still the same amount of calories burned?
  • jdswaker
    jdswaker Posts: 36 Member
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    Do I need to fart cycle high fart and low fart days?

    Is there an HIIT program that would be more efficient?

    You can try High Intensity Interval Farting but I would recommend wearing Depends™.

    ROFLMAO...now that's damned funny!
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    I wonder how many lovely ladies of MFP are working out a way to go attempt this right now....quite a few of my friends would think this is a good idea! My girls are awesome! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    How bout farting under water? still the same amount of calories burned?

    I would assume that it burns more. Something to do with the bubbles forming and such. I don't know, I'm not an expert, but this is what I heard on the INTERWEBS! They know all!
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
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    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    Dayyyuuummm! Now just to imagine how many calories I would burn if I queefed while doing Zumba again... :noway:

    Does queefing while doing Zumba increase calories burned or will it overexert me and cause my body to hold its fat?

    Well, are you doing it before 7 pm? If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING after 7 pm, it causes you to gain weight.

    :noway: That must be why I'm not loose-ing any weight! My classes are at 8.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    Can I do this in the 5x5 as well? And how do I log this in? Cardio or strength training?
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    I wonder how many lovely ladies of MFP are working out a way to go attempt this right now....quite a few of my friends would think this is a good idea! My girls are awesome! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    If you could send them my way that'd be great. Ok then thanks.

    lol
  • BubbleGumKisses
    BubbleGumKisses Posts: 156 Member
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    How bout farting under water? still the same amount of calories burned?

    I would assume that it burns more. Something to do with the bubbles forming and such. I don't know, I'm not an expert, but this is what I heard on the INTERWEBS! They know all!

    THANKS! if it's on the INTERWEBS it HASSSSS to be true!!
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    Can I do this in the 5x5 as well? And how do I log this in? Cardio or strength training?

    This brings an important point.


    Do not LOG anything.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Options
    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    Dayyyuuummm! Now just to imagine how many calories I would burn if I queefed while doing Zumba again... :noway:

    Does queefing while doing Zumba increase calories burned or will it overexert me and cause my body to hold its fat?

    Well, are you doing it before 7 pm? If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING after 7 pm, it causes you to gain weight.

    :noway: That must be why I'm not loose-ing any weight! My classes are at 8.

    You also can't have sex past 7. Especially if you fart during sex. That will make you gain about 40 lbs over night.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Options
    How bout farting under water? still the same amount of calories burned?

    I would assume that it burns more. Something to do with the bubbles forming and such. I don't know, I'm not an expert, but this is what I heard on the INTERWEBS! They know all!

    THANKS! if it's on the INTERWEBS it HASSSSS to be true!!

    Ah, sorry I put interwebs in all caps. I was practicing my IF right then, so I was a bit strained.
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
    Options
    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    Dayyyuuummm! Now just to imagine how many calories I would burn if I queefed while doing Zumba again... :noway:

    Does queefing while doing Zumba increase calories burned or will it overexert me and cause my body to hold its fat?

    Well, are you doing it before 7 pm? If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING after 7 pm, it causes you to gain weight.

    :noway: That must be why I'm not loose-ing any weight! My classes are at 8.

    You also can't have sex past 7. Especially if you fart during sex. That will make you gain about 40 lbs over night.

    Thank you internet friend... I don't know what I would do without you!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Options
    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    Dayyyuuummm! Now just to imagine how many calories I would burn if I queefed while doing Zumba again... :noway:

    Does queefing while doing Zumba increase calories burned or will it overexert me and cause my body to hold its fat?

    Well, are you doing it before 7 pm? If you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING after 7 pm, it causes you to gain weight.

    :noway: That must be why I'm not loose-ing any weight! My classes are at 8.

    You also can't have sex past 7. Especially if you fart during sex. That will make you gain about 40 lbs over night.

    Thank you internet friend... I don't know what I would do without you!

    Now I should make a TV show and become as famous as Dr. Oz!
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    Will farting give me my thigh gap?

    What about showing my collarbones?

    If I keep this up for 4-6 weeks, will I see inches lost and guaranteed results?
  • Avandel
    Avandel Posts: 283 Member
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    How many calories can I burn with a queef?

    You know how you can blow up a balloon and grab the tip of the balloon with both hands and stretch the mouth-piece so that it makes that high pitched *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* noise?

    If you can do that to yourself you'll apparently burn like 10k calories each time.

    I wonder how many lovely ladies of MFP are working out a way to go attempt this right now....quite a few of my friends would think this is a good idea! My girls are awesome! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I wonder if this could be accomplished if you combined it with farting under water????????:bigsmile:
  • Cr8tive_Ingenuity
    Cr8tive_Ingenuity Posts: 181
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    does anyone know what the color of a fart is underwater? Its Bluuueeeemp

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