Unsupportive....wwyd?

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  • tabooski
    tabooski Posts: 89
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    tell him to shove it up his *kitten*.
  • erikapereira
    erikapereira Posts: 196
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    This is a very sad post. :( Dont let anybody treat you bad. There is I dont know how many million of plp out there, dont stay just because you think you will not find another man.
  • Ras_py
    Ras_py Posts: 129 Member
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    Id leave. Kids or no kids nobody treats me like *kitten*
  • samblanken
    samblanken Posts: 369 Member
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    From my own experience, if he's accusing you of cheating, then he's the one doing the cheating. I didn't want to believe it and it was a thousand times worse then I could have ever imagined. No one deserves to be treated that way. Take your kids and LEAVE.
  • ItsDawnMarie
    ItsDawnMarie Posts: 81 Member
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    If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.


    Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.

    Example.
    You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..



    You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?

    I'd personally leave his *kitten*, I have no tolerance for bull****. Forget about getting it from the Hubby = / Do what you have to do for you. When I started my weight loss I told my hubby what my plans were, he kind of said "yeah okay" not in a horrible way, more of a unbelievable way (he has no weight issues) 143 lbs lost later... he believes ( =
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
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    If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.

    This, I'd explain to him is something you are doing for your health. Show him hard facts and figures regarding health problems and obesity, show him your BMI etc. Also ask him would he prefer you to be healthy or unhealthy? Ask him if he'd like to join you in getting healthier so you can do more things together. Ask him straight up why he assumes you are cheating.

    As for support, you can't force a spouse to be supportive. Mine could personally care less about fitness or calories or anything like that and honestly, I don't talk about it with him anymore because he is sick of hearing about it. He's as supportive as he can be but he doesn't see what the big deal is and I don't pressure him to join in with me. But he also knows that if I'm cooking or paying for dinner, it's going to be a healthy choice that fits into my diet.

    That said there is a huge difference between an uninterested lack of support and verbal abuse:
    Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.

    Example.
    You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..

    You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?

    This, honestly, I'd leave him and set an example for my children that it's not okay for a man to ever treat a woman like that ever, even if they have kids together. He's not just hurting you, he's hurting your children by showing them that this is how an adult man treats the mother of his kids. This is not okay.
  • Yellabutterfly05
    Yellabutterfly05 Posts: 43 Member
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    Honestly? Life is way too short to spend it with an *kitten* who will berate you and keep you from being who you want to be.

    It stops when you stop allowing it and take charge of your life.


    ^^^This

    and be honest with yourself.....are the kids happy?
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.


    Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.

    Example.
    You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..



    You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?

    What would I do? I'd be very, very concerned about the message my children were getting and the impact it would have on them in the future.

    Protect your children.
  • misty0413
    misty0413 Posts: 212
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    don't marry this guy. don't worry about being alone its better than being treated like dirt. you don't need your kids in that enviroment .run for the hills. with your kids and don't look back.
  • igobronco
    igobronco Posts: 18 Member
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    He sounds verbally abusive and you nor your children should ever hear that!! Unsupportive is one thing this is abusive. You and your children deserve better. If he is willing try counseling if not the choice is yours but it does not sound good from what you are telling us. I hope things get better
  • amersmanders
    amersmanders Posts: 118 Member
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    He sounds verbally abusive and you nor your children should ever hear that!! Unsupportive is one thing this is abusive. You and your children deserve better. If he is willing try counseling if not the choice is yours but it does not sound good from what you are telling us. I hope things get better

    ^^This
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    I'd leave, end of story. The fact that you're even questioning speaks volumes. Have a nice life!
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    He is DEFINITELY verbally abusive. :( I spent almost 6 years with someone who put down my EVERY move, yelled, screamed, threatened, and finally started pushing me and physically threatened our 21-month old son with a belt. Let THIS be your wake-up call, right at the start. This is NOT OK behavior from ANYONE who says they love you. I don't know either of you, but anyone that would say the things he has said to you does not only not love you, they do not love themselves. Please think very hard, and do what you think/know is best for YOU and your children. That is what needs to come first. *(*(*hugs*)*)*

    I'm here if you ever want to talk...
  • cindergirl73
    cindergirl73 Posts: 51
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    He's verbally abusive to you and you deserve better than that. I would sit him down and tell him that perhaps he needs counseling for his bad treatment of you. If he does not change, divorce him. Verbal abuse is very damaging to one's self-esteem. Your kids are going to adopt his behaviors too if it keeps up.
  • aimeeinohio
    aimeeinohio Posts: 301 Member
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    Prove him right....how U doin? *winks
    SHWING!


    I'd be telling him exactly what I think of HIM and there would be some marriage counseling or I would be out.

    :heart: YOU DESERVE BETTER!!:heart:

    Unless there's a history of cheating already, then HE'S the one with the problem.
  • cindergirl73
    cindergirl73 Posts: 51
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    Oh yuck :-(


    I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else... I don't feel attractive, at all.



    He is always home or at work.. Never more than 30 mins late... :-(


    The thought hurts so bad..

    You are 22...you have plenty of time to find someone else. And your have your 2 sons, so stop worrying about finding a man. You have to make yourself happy....you will never find happiness in someone else. You are very pretty and I am certain there will be lots of guys out there for you.
  • jkdorf
    jkdorf Posts: 6
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    If you're only engaged and he's already acting like this...girl...that's a HUGE warning sign. Either get him to get some help and therapy or get out of that relationship. That's mental and verbal abuse...trust me...physical is not far behind. And no one who tells you that you are fat and worthless loves you. That is the antithesis of love. And your children are going to grow up around this man seeing this as "how a relationship and love should be". Talk about damage. Get out of it girl. You are far better on your own.
  • SusanMcAvoy
    SusanMcAvoy Posts: 445 Member
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    I would be so gone!!!!! No way would I stay with anyone who treated me like that.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just break up.
  • AmandaTWaH
    AmandaTWaH Posts: 181 Member
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    I'd leave. That is emotional abuse and they are trying to manipulate you to make you think you don't deserve better.

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