Unsupportive....wwyd?

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  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else...

    OMG...that's what my ex said to me after we separated. DON'T marry someone when you feel like that. Its NO reason to marry!
  • eikito
    eikito Posts: 114 Member
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    In case you need it spelled out again--you are in a textbook case of an abusive relationship, whether there's physical violence or not.

    Here's the scary part--emotional abusers can progress to physical violence. This is why I recommend separation now, even if you want to give him a chance to reform through therapy.

    THIS. Document the abuse, get yourself a lawyer, and get outta there.


    THIS, GET OUT NOW!!! It will only get worse especially after you marry him, do not think that he'll change or that you'll be able to handle it; leave now that you can.
  • momof2TONI
    momof2TONI Posts: 116
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    I should also add that my ex was cheating on me through the internet and on the phone. Or at least that's how it started. And he always denied anything was going on and would start an argument with me to change the subject. Then one day he ran off with one of them..... my only regret is he didn't leave sooner or that I didn't kick his butt out first.
  • mbojan2
    mbojan2 Posts: 43 Member
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    You are beautiful and he doesn't deserve you. You need a man to treat you with the respect and show you the support you need. Sounds to me he's insecure about himself and is trying to bring you down to his level. I would get out now, you will think yourself in the long run. Also think about it this way....I'm not sure if you have boys or girls.......would you want you daughter to be treated this way? Would you want your son to treat someone this way?


    Mandi
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
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    ANY man who calls me a name is getting the boot, I'm dead serious.
    I do not deal with emotional abuse and I don't deserve it - no one does.

    Angry or not ... Defensive or not... There is NO reason to call people names.
  • Louiyen
    Louiyen Posts: 69
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    STAB THE MFER! No i'm kidding.......simple! ditch the homeboy!
  • Mrbusterb
    Mrbusterb Posts: 114
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    I'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
    He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.

    Dump the idiot right now.
    I agree
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    sounds similar.
    Just keep doing your own thing and do it for you. You have to make the decision if you can live with that or not.
  • zaph0d
    zaph0d Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Need it spelled out? DTMFA
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    You can never be a better person, live a happy, healthy life, and love yourself if you stay with him.

    He will never change. Choose what is best for you and your children.
  • texjenn
    texjenn Posts: 146 Member
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    He's jealous and insecure.

    I'm going to agree with this person. Some men would rather have their wife fat so that they don't have to worry about them or have to worry about other men coming after them. They also don't have to worry about working on the relationship. Keep doing it for yourself!!
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    Oh yuck :-(


    I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else... I don't feel attractive, at all.



    He is always home or at work.. Never more than 30 mins late... :-(


    The thought hurts so bad..

    You are a very pretty girl and dont ever settle in a relationship (especially an abusive one) for the fear of being single. Guaranteed....you will find someone else and when you do you will be happy that you did. Im sorry but stop wasting your time with this jerk. I highly doubt counseling will help him. He has issues that are way beyond anything you should handle.
  • kfesta52
    kfesta52 Posts: 98 Member
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    I just posted this exact same answer on another thread. I'm seriously going to cut and paste the whole thing, because it totally applies here too:

    One of my business partners has the awesome quote..."Start as you mean to go." I love that, so honest to yourself.

    In other words, who you are right now is who you are, everyone else better deal with it. (translation: this would be your SO right now...)

    Another one; this might have been Oprah or Dr. Phil:

    "When people TELL you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!!".

    Either way, you've just gotten the info you need to understand where your life is going.

    Are you with it? Your choice after all.
  • cmcorn26
    cmcorn26 Posts: 253 Member
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    DIVORCE, you don't need to be with someone like that, no matter how long u've been together and it isnt a healthy environment for kids to grow up in anyway. A person cannot say those things to a person that they are supposed to love and care about


    ^^^^^this. Its what I did to my husband who said the exact same things. I had two kids with him. They understand that it isn't a positive atmosphere and can see we are both happier apart.
    I wish youmluck, stay strong and remember...Mfp is here for you!
    Congrats on your new self!
  • cmcorn26
    cmcorn26 Posts: 253 Member
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    Im sorry but stop wasting your time with this jerk. I highly doubt counseling will help him. He has issues that are way beyond anything you should handle.

    This is what a counselor told me. Also said he was probably emotionally abused and until he gets help, won't change.
  • meagsdionne
    meagsdionne Posts: 47 Member
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    Been there, done that, didn't like it, left. Problem is I stuck it our for 15 years first, for the kids....who btw are doing so much better without him and are so much happier!!!! If he treats you like that, watch how he is with your kids. Don't give him chance after chance to make it right if you know in your heart he won't. If its just insecurity on his part though, and aside from this he's a good man, hubby and dad, maybe you can REALLY explain how he makes you feel and you guys can work it out.

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