Unsupportive....wwyd?
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Just break up.
hahahahaaha ive seen you say this in about 9 different posts and i laugh everytime becasue i get it0 -
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
That's NOT lack of support... that is abuse, anger and hatred. The guy also has CONTROL ISSUES (wants to control you). My wife and I have NEVER said anything like that to each other, and we have been together 15 yrs. I agree with the majority, send him packing!0 -
engaged with kids... well, i think he's insecure in lots of ways... he's not sure he can BE a good husband and love you and care for you the way you want to be, and he's proven that... other wise, he'd have married you before the kids (as many as there are and you're not married) came into the picture.
If you still love him, truly, help him to understand that you want to be with him for a long time and you have to be in good health for that. encourage him to join you! include him in your day, exercise with him or go for a walk... he needs to know he's loved by you. Men don't think like women...
Go read the book or rent the movie "Fire Proof" .0 -
I'd kick him in the balls, then take the kids and leave. And I'm not joking. It'd probably be worse for him than that. Don't ever let anyone treat you like that. No one deserves that.0
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I'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.
Dump the idiot right now.
This is what I thought......
Either way, people who love each other DO NOT treat each other like that. If he loved you he wouldn't act that way. And, who wants to be with someone who doesn't love them?
It doesn't matter what anyone on this site tells you----but you should leave him (not just for you, but for the kids). Once kids are in the relationship it's more about them- than you
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We aren't married.. Engaged.
And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P
DON"T GET MARRIED!! Kids don't mean you have to get married! If he talks like that now imagine what it would be like if you had a serious problem? Gesss what a jerk!
My husband wasn't very supportive at the start but he got on board once I joined WW and he saw I was serious. Now he's glad he did because I've lost quite a bit and I even gave him the go ahead to buy me lacy things that he likes :blushing:0 -
Some things are better labeled as verbal abuse..Im sure this may be very hard to hear if you havent hear it before and again Im assuming the post was directed at your own relationship. No one regardless of trying to diet or otherwise should be spoken to in that manner you deserve better ...kids or not..you should seek some kind of professional help and if you can reach out to friends and family whom will be supportive and not drive you back into the same situation......and in the least find some support here sorry for your struggles ..stay strong and work on moving out of that dangerous current situation ...if losing weight and getting your body stronger and mind focused will help you do so then do it for you and no one else. Good Luck0
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This is abuse. Verbal, emotional abuse. Divorce him.0
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We aren't married.. Engaged.
And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P
^^THIS! 0 -
I'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.
Dump the idiot right now.
I don't disagree with this. There is some truth to it. My only opinion is that you have children together and should work it out. But the way he talks to you is inappropriate and is verbally abusive.0 -
We aren't married.. Engaged.
then, "run before it's too late"
seriously- is this the kind of man you want to live your life with? The kind of father you want raising your kids?
think about this before you go through with the 'I do's.0 -
Holy crap. There's no way in hell I'd let a man talk to me like that. Do NOT marry this dude. Trust me, I left my ex-husband and I had a 5-year old and it's WAY harder to divorce with kids. You do NOT deserve this. He is verbally abusing you.0
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Mine was too right up until he ran away with his "internet girl friend" while I was at work :frown:0
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Somehow, somewhere over the last five years, he has learned that it's okay to speak to you like this.Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
How did that happen?
I strongly suggest that you take an assertiveness course to help gain some much needed self respect and give you the tools you need to deal with difficult situations, and then tell him quietly but firmly that he needs to treat you with respect or you are not prepared to continue the relationship.
He does not have to be supportive of your efforts, but being abusive is not acceptable either.0 -
Leave that abusive SOB. Seriously, turn off the computer and go pack a suitcase. Absolutely unacceptable to treat anyone that way.0
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Don't know if you'll even see this because it is 10 pages of responses already, but it makes me wonder. Is he cheating and does not want to to be even more desireable to others, (I did say more because you said something about not feeling attractive and that is just not true) or does he have a low self esteem already and think that if you do some improvements that you will get more attention and find someone better than him? The reaction to the chicken thing is just unacceptable. The next time that happens (since the first has passed) I would tell him if he ever talks to you like that again, you will test out his theory. treating a woman in an abusive way is NEVER ok. The only addendum I would place on that is it only becomes ok when the woman accepts it as ok. If you don't respect yourself enough to not put up with that then why should he. You seem like a great person so do what you need to so you can get healthy for you and your kids and don't let him keep disrespecting you. 0
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Leave....You deserve so much better. You're pretty and sounds like you're smart......Start over....You deserve so much better....0
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I would make the first call to the lawyer and pack his ****! Kids or not... that is what they learn, Mommy can be treated like that and that it is ok for him to treat you like that. I would also make him pay for every nasty unsupportive word.
BUT that is just me!
Honestly if that is the kind of things someone/anyone is saying to you then you deserve better. I know that it is scary to strike out on your own with kids but there are a lot of people doing it, maybe you are getting healthy and someone who realizes who you are and what you are all about will come along.
You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I just saw a post saying that you were not married RUN, if not for the weight loss, RUN To save your life and your future. Losing him may be the best weight loss you ever had!
Either way hang in there!0 -
I wasted 7 yrs on a guy like that. I was in denial too and actually married him. It doesn't get better! My hubby now (we've been married 12 yrs) treats me with great respect and never ever has spoken to me that way. I look back now and wonder what the heck I was thinking to take that kind of verbal abuse from my ex - even in public in front of other people.0
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I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else...
OMG...that's what my ex said to me after we separated. DON'T marry someone when you feel like that. Its NO reason to marry!0 -
In case you need it spelled out again--you are in a textbook case of an abusive relationship, whether there's physical violence or not.
Here's the scary part--emotional abusers can progress to physical violence. This is why I recommend separation now, even if you want to give him a chance to reform through therapy.
THIS. Document the abuse, get yourself a lawyer, and get outta there.
THIS, GET OUT NOW!!! It will only get worse especially after you marry him, do not think that he'll change or that you'll be able to handle it; leave now that you can.0 -
I should also add that my ex was cheating on me through the internet and on the phone. Or at least that's how it started. And he always denied anything was going on and would start an argument with me to change the subject. Then one day he ran off with one of them..... my only regret is he didn't leave sooner or that I didn't kick his butt out first.0
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You are beautiful and he doesn't deserve you. You need a man to treat you with the respect and show you the support you need. Sounds to me he's insecure about himself and is trying to bring you down to his level. I would get out now, you will think yourself in the long run. Also think about it this way....I'm not sure if you have boys or girls.......would you want you daughter to be treated this way? Would you want your son to treat someone this way?
Mandi0 -
ANY man who calls me a name is getting the boot, I'm dead serious.
I do not deal with emotional abuse and I don't deserve it - no one does.
Angry or not ... Defensive or not... There is NO reason to call people names.0 -
STAB THE MFER! No i'm kidding.......simple! ditch the homeboy!0
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I agreeI'll Bet ya 5 bucks he is cheating on you and is afraid you will do the same.
He wants to keep you fat and insecure so he can continue.
Dump the idiot right now.0 -
sounds similar.
Just keep doing your own thing and do it for you. You have to make the decision if you can live with that or not.0 -
Need it spelled out? DTMFA0
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You can never be a better person, live a happy, healthy life, and love yourself if you stay with him.
He will never change. Choose what is best for you and your children.0 -
He's jealous and insecure.
I'm going to agree with this person. Some men would rather have their wife fat so that they don't have to worry about them or have to worry about other men coming after them. They also don't have to worry about working on the relationship. Keep doing it for yourself!!0
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