Unsupportive....wwyd?
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Accidently drop the frying pan on his face while he's laying down. Make sure its accidently hot. What an *kitten*!
BUT if you want to TRY then try, but make sure HE wants to try too. Stay in separate homes, date again, or something. But do NOT allow him to talk, treat or even HINT anything negative. Drop his *kitten* as soon as it happens.0 -
I've read everyone's comments.. I feel stupid for saying I don't want to throw everything away without trying.
I told him to leave, he is staying at his mothers and I told him if he ever wants to come back we need several counseling sessions before even considering it. I think he feels like a complete *kitten*, I told his mom what has happened. She chewed him a new assholle.. If he decides to go through counseling then we are going to try to make things right. If he says no, then he is gone for good!
Good for you. I will say that you need to be clear with him that trust is important and that if he ever displays a lack of trust in the future, it will be the last time. I do think that you've got to give someone a second chance but there should not be a third chance! My wife is unsupportive about MFP but not in a destructive way. She gets annoyed with the fact that I am OCD about inputting calories and she isn't wild about me spending 5-6 hours a week exercising......but she doesn't try to sabotage it and she has never accused me of doing it for the wrong reasons.
If you don't feel that he trusts you and if he even hints at jealousy as he has already, you need to get out. Even a hint. That last thing you need is to be in so deep that you feel trapped.0 -
We aren't married.. Engaged.
And I think I might have to go find myself a wife :-P
If he is like this now I would not marry him. It will only get worse.0 -
Run. Run away now.0
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If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
Um ... leave and take the kids. Nice thing to teach them.0 -
I've read everyone's comments.. I feel stupid for saying I don't want to throw everything away without trying.
I told him to leave, he is staying at his mothers and I told him if he ever wants to come back we need several counseling sessions before even considering it. I think he feels like a complete *kitten*, I told his mom what has happened. She chewed him a new assholle.. If he decides to go through counseling then we are going to try to make things right. If he says no, then he is gone for good!
Good for you for taking control of the situation! Good luck to you!0 -
I've read everyone's comments.. I feel stupid for saying I don't want to throw everything away without trying.
I told him to leave, he is staying at his mothers and I told him if he ever wants to come back we need several counseling sessions before even considering it. I think he feels like a complete *kitten*, I told his mom what has happened. She chewed him a new assholle.. If he decides to go through counseling then we are going to try to make things right. If he says no, then he is gone for good!
Feeling stupid is what happens when you feel like you have waited too long to do what you felt was right. Don't judge yourself like that. We aren't. Just take pride in the fact that you have done something. On average, a woman will only leave an abusive situation after seven years. Some never leave and the cycle continues with their children down the generations.
I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself. You are worth it! Your kids are worth it! Tell yourself what you need to hear. Do not back down. There will come a day or a night when you feel lonely and are afraid of a future alone. He will pick this time to call. He will apologize and make excuses and promise it will never happen again. He will have done some of the things he has said he would, but not all of it. If he can only come and help it will be like it was in the very beginning.... And if you let go of your principles and say yes and let him back in before he has finished all those things, it will be awesome for about two weeks. Until it isn't one day. And you will notice that you picked up right where you left off before. Only this time it will be harder to get away. That is my experience after counseling and mediation programs. And parenting classes and anger management.
The weird thing is, the anger management just taught him better abuse strategies because he wasn't getting out of control angry. He was completely in control and using what I perceived as anger to control me. I know of women who never got out. I know women personally who finally got out, but are disabled permanently as a result of their spouse/ boyfriend. Do not let this happen to you.0 -
I've read everyone's comments.. I feel stupid for saying I don't want to throw everything away without trying.
I told him to leave, he is staying at his mothers and I told him if he ever wants to come back we need several counseling sessions before even considering it. I think he feels like a complete *kitten*, I told his mom what has happened. She chewed him a new assholle.. If he decides to go through counseling then we are going to try to make things right. If he says no, then he is gone for good!
good for you for standing up for yourself!! :drinker: I'm proud of you and you aren't stupid at all. Good luck with the counseling and/or moving on, hope it works out for the best for you and your kids
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id let him cook his own dinner from now on...
This. Nobody should be talking to anyone that way. He should be supportive and understanding, not maniacal.
BUMP0 -
I told him to leave, he is staying at his mothers and I told him if he ever wants to come back we need several counseling sessions before even considering it. I think he feels like a complete *kitten*, I told his mom what has happened. She chewed him a new assholle.. If he decides to go through counseling then we are going to try to make things right. If he says no, then he is gone for good!
Thank you so much for no longer being a victim. There are too many women (and guys for that matter) who never leave and we've all seen the awful stories of what happens when they don't. Stick to your guns. He may change with counseling and be the man you and your children need. I'll keep hoping for you!0 -
tell him to shove it up his *kitten*.0
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This is a very sad post.
Dont let anybody treat you bad. There is I dont know how many million of plp out there, dont stay just because you think you will not find another man. 0 -
Id leave. Kids or no kids nobody treats me like *kitten*0
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From my own experience, if he's accusing you of cheating, then he's the one doing the cheating. I didn't want to believe it and it was a thousand times worse then I could have ever imagined. No one deserves to be treated that way. Take your kids and LEAVE.0
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If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
I'd personally leave his *kitten*, I have no tolerance for bull****. Forget about getting it from the Hubby = / Do what you have to do for you. When I started my weight loss I told my hubby what my plans were, he kind of said "yeah okay" not in a horrible way, more of a unbelievable way (he has no weight issues) 143 lbs lost later... he believes ( =0 -
If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
This, I'd explain to him is something you are doing for your health. Show him hard facts and figures regarding health problems and obesity, show him your BMI etc. Also ask him would he prefer you to be healthy or unhealthy? Ask him if he'd like to join you in getting healthier so you can do more things together. Ask him straight up why he assumes you are cheating.
As for support, you can't force a spouse to be supportive. Mine could personally care less about fitness or calories or anything like that and honestly, I don't talk about it with him anymore because he is sick of hearing about it. He's as supportive as he can be but he doesn't see what the big deal is and I don't pressure him to join in with me. But he also knows that if I'm cooking or paying for dinner, it's going to be a healthy choice that fits into my diet.
That said there is a huge difference between an uninterested lack of support and verbal abuse:Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
This, honestly, I'd leave him and set an example for my children that it's not okay for a man to ever treat a woman like that ever, even if they have kids together. He's not just hurting you, he's hurting your children by showing them that this is how an adult man treats the mother of his kids. This is not okay.0 -
Honestly? Life is way too short to spend it with an *kitten* who will berate you and keep you from being who you want to be.
It stops when you stop allowing it and take charge of your life.
^^^This
and be honest with yourself.....are the kids happy?0 -
If you told your spouse that you wanted to lose weight, get into better shape and they immediately got on the defensive.. Saying you are doing it to cheat/move on/ect.. And totally have zero support for you, try to do things to make you go off track.
Start blowing up at you for the tiniest things.
Example.
You forget to take chicken out for supper, immediately they start yelling saying things like you're a fat,lazy tub of lard... Stretched out and better treat him better cause no one else will ever love you.. You're ugly and everyone else can see it, why even bother..
You have been with this person for well over 5 years and have kids together... WWYD?
What would I do? I'd be very, very concerned about the message my children were getting and the impact it would have on them in the future.
Protect your children.0 -
don't marry this guy. don't worry about being alone its better than being treated like dirt. you don't need your kids in that enviroment .run for the hills. with your kids and don't look back.0
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He sounds verbally abusive and you nor your children should ever hear that!! Unsupportive is one thing this is abusive. You and your children deserve better. If he is willing try counseling if not the choice is yours but it does not sound good from what you are telling us. I hope things get better0
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He sounds verbally abusive and you nor your children should ever hear that!! Unsupportive is one thing this is abusive. You and your children deserve better. If he is willing try counseling if not the choice is yours but it does not sound good from what you are telling us. I hope things get better
^^This0 -
I'd leave, end of story. The fact that you're even questioning speaks volumes. Have a nice life!0
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He is DEFINITELY verbally abusive. I spent almost 6 years with someone who put down my EVERY move, yelled, screamed, threatened, and finally started pushing me and physically threatened our 21-month old son with a belt. Let THIS be your wake-up call, right at the start. This is NOT OK behavior from ANYONE who says they love you. I don't know either of you, but anyone that would say the things he has said to you does not only not love you, they do not love themselves. Please think very hard, and do what you think/know is best for YOU and your children. That is what needs to come first. *(*(*hugs*)*)*
I'm here if you ever want to talk...0 -
He's verbally abusive to you and you deserve better than that. I would sit him down and tell him that perhaps he needs counseling for his bad treatment of you. If he does not change, divorce him. Verbal abuse is very damaging to one's self-esteem. Your kids are going to adopt his behaviors too if it keeps up.0
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SHWING!Prove him right....how U doin? *winks
I'd be telling him exactly what I think of HIM and there would be some marriage counseling or I would be out.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
Unless there's a history of cheating already, then HE'S the one with the problem.0 -
Oh yuck :-(
I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else... I don't feel attractive, at all.
He is always home or at work.. Never more than 30 mins late... :-(
The thought hurts so bad..
You are 22...you have plenty of time to find someone else. And your have your 2 sons, so stop worrying about finding a man. You have to make yourself happy....you will never find happiness in someone else. You are very pretty and I am certain there will be lots of guys out there for you.0 -
If you're only engaged and he's already acting like this...girl...that's a HUGE warning sign. Either get him to get some help and therapy or get out of that relationship. That's mental and verbal abuse...trust me...physical is not far behind. And no one who tells you that you are fat and worthless loves you. That is the antithesis of love. And your children are going to grow up around this man seeing this as "how a relationship and love should be". Talk about damage. Get out of it girl. You are far better on your own.0
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I would be so gone!!!!! No way would I stay with anyone who treated me like that.0
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Just break up.0
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I'd leave. That is emotional abuse and they are trying to manipulate you to make you think you don't deserve better.0
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