Open Relationships?

Bahet

It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.
We aren't swingers, per se, but we are rather open. We've been happily married for 12 years. Things like that tend to spice up a couple's sex life if it gets in a rut.

To me, sex is just sex and adding a third or fourth to the mix just makes more sex.

its not that we werent mature enough to handle it, if something is hurting us we need to fix because over all this strange coming our way WE ALWAYS COME FIRST

I understand. You are SO YOUNG though. You need to be in a real strong relationship first. You are lucky that you are able to stick together and work on yours. So many others are not that strong.

our relationship is strong weve been together 5 years now and when this was going on it was our 4th year I dont understand why people assume our relationship isnt strong because hes 25 and im 24

I agree with Nicki. It's not immature people who are in committed monogamous relationships. If anyone is immature it's the ones who get married then cheat even if it is cheating with permission. Also like Nicki, I was 19 when I started dating my husband so we had been together for 5 years when I was her age too. That was 18 years ago.

As for all the anecdotes, they're just that. For every marriage that makes it work far more don't. I can tell you stories about women who married their boyfriend after he knocked her up when she was 15 and they made it work. I can tell stories of couples with 40 year age differences who made it work. Hell, there are even some Hollywood couples who have been together over 30 years. But a story doesn't mean it's the norm. It could be 1 in a million.

Really though, why even bother getting married at all if you want to f* around?

bennyevs

interesting concept. I have friends who swing and they're great together. They have 2 awesome kids and are very happy together, it's just something they do. I don't think there's anything wrong ith it as long as you're both happy with it and one is not trying to force the other. Go for it, it's great fun!

Arexxx

Um. In MY opinion, if you truly love the one you're with. Thats enough. Open relationships are for people unsure of their feelings for their 'partner', but still want the security of a relationship.

I've only heard of a select few people that make "swinging" or "open relationships" work

Edit- Banging other people could be alright. Its just that the majority of open relationships I know end up with one partner gaining feelings for another person, which leads to emotional cheating.

A_Shannigans

It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.
We aren't swingers, per se, but we are rather open. We've been happily married for 12 years. Things like that tend to spice up a couple's sex life if it gets in a rut.

To me, sex is just sex and adding a third or fourth to the mix just makes more sex.

its not that we werent mature enough to handle it, if something is hurting us we need to fix because over all this strange coming our way WE ALWAYS COME FIRST

I understand. You are SO YOUNG though. You need to be in a real strong relationship first. You are lucky that you are able to stick together and work on yours. So many others are not that strong.

our relationship is strong weve been together 5 years now and when this was going on it was our 4th year I dont understand why people assume our relationship isnt strong because hes 25 and im 24

I agree with Nicki. It's not immature people who are in committed monogamous relationships. If anyone is immature it's the ones who get married then cheat even if it is cheating with permission. Also like Nicki, I was 19 when I started dating my husband so we had been together for 5 years when I was her age too. That was 18 years ago.

As for all the anecdotes, they're just that. For every marriage that makes it work far more don't. I can tell you stories about women who married their boyfriend after he knocked her up when she was 15 and they made it work. I can tell stories of couples with 40 year age differences who made it work. Hell, there are even some Hollywood couples who have been together over 30 years. But a story doesn't mean it's the norm. It could be 1 in a million.

Really though, why even bother getting married at all if you want to f* around?

This is pretty much my take on it but each to their own I don't tell other people who they should live it just doesn't make sense to me.

However I'm curious why you're asking because you seem to already have your mind made up.

moreno89

i think no matter how confident or how secure you may be there's always room for jealousy when you're in a relationship.It's possible for you to fall in love with someone else or just feel like you would like to explore your options with no stringS attached (marriage)....it would really suck and be painful for 1 in the end,however i think if thats what you want you should go into a relationship with that decision already made....being in a committed relationship then deciding to do so could lead in all of the above^....but that's my opinion

70moretogo

It is a gamble. If the marriage is something you are willing to gamble with and are prepared to lose over random sex then by all means do it. This is just my opinion but I would not gamble with something that I truly valued.

oregonzoo

To each their own. But I must say, I love my partner enough I would never ever want to share him.
I don't know how people that in love could want to share.

I think it's a one way ticket to drunken fights, sleeping in separate beds..

pain_is_weakness

yes, depends on the people and the relationship. Definenlty not for everyone!

aholly70

My husband & I would never we beleve you marry a person that's the only person you are with,we feel like we are cheating each other we love each alot i love spending time with him,his the ONLY 1 for me.Are you not afraid of diseases you can get,i think it's digusting .So i'm aganist it

shammxo

I'm not knocking it, but I just don't understand it.
If someone wants to sleep with other people, I don't understand why they would get married in the first place? It just seems like things would get so complicated!

But, I've never been in an open relationship... So I don't know.

hbrittingham

To each their own. But I must say, I love my partner enough I would never ever want to share him.
I don't know how people that in love could want to share.

I think it's a one way ticket to drunken fights, sleeping in separate beds..

I agree. I feel like a broken record, but I'll say it again, I don't share. My heart and my body belong to my husband and nobody else will have access to either. He says he feels the exact same way.

oregonzoo

To each their own. But I must say, I love my partner enough I would never ever want to share him.
I don't know how people that in love could want to share.

I think it's a one way ticket to drunken fights, sleeping in separate beds..

I agree. I feel like a broken record, but I'll say it again, I don't share. My heart and my body belong to my husband and nobody else will have access to either. He says he feels the exact same way.

I honestly think if you'd consider this, something would be inherently wrong with the relationship. Better to spend money on therapy than swingers bars in this situation.
Not to mention it's incredibly unsanitary.

luvJOJO

How would you feel if "he" starts spending more time with "her"?
What if they become closer than the two of you?
I could never do it. Beyond the sex I just can't imagine my man being "intimate" with another woman, kissing, touching or ANYTHING. Be careful what you wish for. The grass isn't always greener.

Lone_Wolf70

but what if you're jogging and you see an ex standing in someone's driveway and decide to text him that this is YOUR street to jog on?

Oh sorry, wrong thread.

yoovie

Im in an open relationship. Its necessary for my sanity. I dont act on that, though.

Meaning, one man has my heart, but he doesnt have his thumb on me, especially cause its the kind of situation where you dont get to see each other very often. So I completely have the option to involve myself intimately elsewhere, I just dont want to. I can, but I dont.

4aFitTina

My husband and I have a semi-open relationship. We love it. We don't just go out and sleep with whomever we want. And I don't "sleep around" but we have been with 1 other couple and 1 other girl. We are both extremely sexual people and I think it is perfect for our personalities. It's definitely not for everyone.

If you want to talk about it in more detail, PM me. I don't want to get into details here.

Jipples

I could never go there but to each his/her own. I could never be into somethin like that because I can't be sexual outside of a love relationship.

needy

JustJennie1

It will never work. It will always end badly.... Don't do it. There is literally thousands of other ways to spice up a marraige!

And you know this because . . . . . . .?

AddA2UDE

It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.

Maturity has nothing to do with it.

Lone_Wolf70

I thought this topic was about tattoos?