Do you think there's a masculinity crisis in America?
Replies
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OP deactivated already, what?!0
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That's pretty sad. You should want better for yourself.Yes! I'm a girl obviously but I still think the men should be the head of the household. I mean girl power is great and everything but guys are dominant in a relationship, sorry!0 -
Being dominant in the relationship and being the leader are two different things.0
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I stand by my post. New Kids On The Block were goofy but they were a hell of a lot more masculine than the boys in One Direction and Justin Bieber.
Jordan Knight in 1990. I rest my case lol
Pretty boys are one thing, but looking like you are 12 and haven't gone through puberty when you are 20 is another lol0 -
Wait wait wait. One Direction boys are the most attractive guys I've ever seen! Completely masculine, too. Like, don't even compare them to Justin Bieber please.
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Get back to the kitchen.Honestly: Do you think there's a masculinity crisis in America? Are more men allowing women to dominate relationships?
With me and my husband we work together to make sure everything gets done. I put the plow on the truck and plow, mow the lawn, change the oil & fix the Jeeps. I love being in the garage. He makes dinner, dose dishes, cleans and dose the laundry. I would not say I am less of a women or he is less than a man. It just makes us well rounded.0 -
Being dominant in the relationship and being the leader are two different things.
I agree!!! I personally like being the girl and letting my man be the leader but it doesn't give him the right to dominate me Although there are some things I choose to be the leader in but same goes for me I do not dominate my man. 0 -
Men are doing what women were doing back in the say with have small dogs, small cars, eating salads instead of fries, skinny jeans, purses, opting for frees-by instead of throwing a football, reading books at the pool instead of swimming, drinking fruity drinks, listening to boy groups like One Direction instead of man music, going with other guys to watch romantic comedies, talking about feelings, and opting for pink instead of other colors.
Small dogs deserve homes too? Also, frequently apartments have weight limits on what size dog you can have.
Small cars get better gas mileage and are all around better for the environment so I fail to see how this is somehow a bad thing.
Salads are a healthier choice. So it’s not manly to care about your health?
Men’s fashion has always been ridiculous. Look at what guys were wearing in the 1970’s.
I don’t know what frees-by means but I know plenty of guys who could care less about football.
Reading is sexy. I’d rather see a guy reading than doing pretty much anything else. Just sayin.
Fruity drinks taste good?
I do not know any man who listens to One Direction or watches romance movies with other men, unless they happen to be like, film critics and it’s their job.
Talking about feelings is a good thing and the guys who do this probably have much better relationships than the ones that don’t.
Pink has been a trendy color off and on for the last 30 years.
All these things you see as signs of weakness are not weaknesses. If anything, they make men more attractive to more women.
Personally, I think most couples seem to treat each other more like equals these days which is a good thing, not a problem. The only thing I see that seems different from maybe 30 years ago is that usually the woman is the one making most of the money. Literally every girl I know (me included) has a higher level of education and consequently makes more than her boyfriend or husband.
Even the handful of stay at home mothers I know have a higher level of education than their man and in theory, would be making more money if they were in the workforce. Unfortunately, with the cost of day care etc. sometimes it is just not practical for both parents to work and I find that usually women are more comfortable giving up their job for a few years to stay with the kids.
I can get behind most of what you've written, but I take issue with the bit about knowing lots of men who don't care for football. I mean, I'm pretty sure that isn't true.0 -
Uh...... I like NKOTB, which is the equivalent, at age 10. So no, that answers nothing.
And before that, there was New Edition and Menudo. Before that, the Jackson 5, Donnie Osmond, Shawn & David Cassidy, and Bobby Sherman. And before that, the Monkees, Herman's Hermits, the Dave Clark 5. Before that, Ricky Nelson, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly and Elvis. As long as recorded music and sound, there been young pretty-boys singing.
Google image search shows that a young Ricky Nelson looked an awful lot like the Biebs. :blushing:0 -
I stand by my post. New Kids On The Block were goofy but they were a hell of a lot more masculine than the boys in One Direction and Justin Bieber.
Jordan Knight in 1990. I rest my case lol
More is more, but I judge that "a hell of a lot more" is an exaggeration.0 -
Someone From Every Generation, Ever, said:
..there really is a huge <blank> problem, especially in the current teenage generation.
Always.
Even Socrates0 -
Crisis? No. That's too strong of a word to generalize American manhood.
Manhood (or womanhood) is not about dominance of the opposite gender at all.
To me a Manly man is a gentleman, the kind that still opens doors for me. He is firm but not a tyrant. He is self confident but not arrogant. He has good hygiene, but doesn't wax his chest. He appreciates my lipstick and perfume when he hugs me from behind while I cook dinner. He says please, thank you, and I'm sorry when necessary. He likes it when I am in control at times, and I like when he is in control between four walls.
It's not hard to get it. It is simple really.
No there is no crisis. To each their own. No man (nor woman) needs to conform to any one steretype. What is important is that we respect one another and please one another according to what makes us happy. it is all about what turns you on, plain and simple.0 -
Crisis? No. That's too strong of a word to generalize American manhood.
Manhood (or womanhood) is not about dominance of the opposite gender at all.
To me a Manly man is a gentleman, the kind that still opens doors for me. He is firm but not a tyrant. He is self confident but not arrogant. He has good hygiene, but doesn't wax his chest. He appreciates my lipstick and perfume when he hugs me from behind while I cook dinner. He says please, thank you, and I'm sorry when necessary. He likes it when I am in control at times, and I like when he is in control between four walls.
It's not hard to get it. It is simple really.
No there is no crisis. To each their own. No man (nor woman) needs to conform to any one steretype. What is important is that we respect one another and please one another according to what makes us happy. it is all about what turns you on, plain and simple.
Well said! :drinker:0 -
I'd actually been thinking the reverse was happening: men trying to assert their masculinity because they feel threatened.
But if there is a masculinity crisis, it goes hand-in-hand with showing increasingly androgenous-looking men and women in fashion.0 -
Honestly: Do you think there's a masculinity crisis in America? Are more men allowing women to dominate relationships?
Why does anyone have to dominate anyone? Why can't it be equal in a relationship? Your post is kind of scary sounds like you might have a controlling type of nature and I hope your not treating your gf or wife bad! I'm sorry if I am wrong with my conclusion but its the way you worded it.... "Allowing women" as though us women should ALLOW a man to hold the reins in the relationship. I'm sorry but the females of the past made it so I was "ALLOWED" to vote, wear clothes that no longer cover my ankles and so I don't have to be beat by a man and deal with it. They made it so I am "ALLOWED" to have my own say in a relationship and can choose whether or not I can work anywhere else but the kitchen making him meals.... I am SO grateful that those women who went through so much to "ALLOW" me these rights and options. In the end they did not control my future but they gave me choices! I could choose to let a man "ALLOW" me to let him have the reigns or I can choose equality! I choose equality. I don't need a man telling me what to do in the relationship and I don't need a man to provide for me.
This is the very first post I have ever read that truly ticked me off.
Yes. This.
The OP offended me on two scores, the first being this above, the second being how massively offensive it is to those men who don't fit the OPs incredibly narrow definition of masculinity. I have two sons, they are boys, they are male, they are masculine, but my older son has no interest at all in team sports. He does ballet, tap and modern dance lessons every week, and is a brilliant gymnast. This doesn't make him girly, it just makes him individual. He is who he is, and he is male. What right does anyone else have to dictate to anyone how they should act, and what they should be interested in?0 -
I'd actually been thinking the reverse was happening: men trying to assert their masculinity because they feel threatened.
But if there is a masculinity crisis, it goes hand-in-hand with showing increasingly androgenous-looking men and women in fashion.
I personally don't think that masculinity is diminished at all when a woman expresses her womanhood. I'd say that embracing it is a sign of masculinity.0 -
Personally, I think the word "masculinity" itself is a bit effeminate.0
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Didn't read all the posts, but what I did read was scary to say the least. Is it really about waxing your chest, what boy band you listen to, or the type of food you eat?
I saw one post that mentioned maturity - something missing in our men coming of age today which is closer to the truth.
The definition of Masculinity is subjective with different perspectives based on what people prefer from a athestetic view.
I think there is a a problem with chauvanisim and poor manners and the ability to be kind and compassionate to our fellow beings, be they human or other species.
For me Masculinity is not about whether you control your partner or are the ruler of your house, it's about whether you stand for something, have integrity, honor, compassion, be a loving partner and a protector of those you love, not a boss of the house.
In the bible it says the man should be the head of the household, but only if he loves and cares for his wife like he loves and cares for God. It doesn't say we are to control or tell others what to do.
Was it really masculinty you were concerned about, or just trolling to see what you could stir up?
BTW in my house I'm the boss as long as it's okay with my wife! :-)0 -
Oh Cal....this is born of your hatred of Hipsters...now look what you've done; and you love it.0
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REAL men are secure enough in their masculinity to know that the size of their car, dog, house, muscles, penis, etc... doesn't define them. REAL men are defined by their character and integrity.
And most importantly...
My neighbor is a vile, disgusting man who drives a giant pickup, screams at his wife and kids, drinks nothing but beer, and has a "if it ain't a rottie, it ain't a dog" attitude.
If that's a real man, I'm glad I have a fake one.0 -
Honestly: Do you think there's a masculinity crisis in America? Are more men allowing women to dominate relationships?
Why does anyone have to dominate anyone? Why can't it be equal in a relationship? Your post is kind of scary sounds like you might have a controlling type of nature and I hope your not treating your gf or wife bad! I'm sorry if I am wrong with my conclusion but its the way you worded it.... "Allowing women" as though us women should ALLOW a man to hold the reins in the relationship. I'm sorry but the females of the past made it so I was "ALLOWED" to vote, wear clothes that no longer cover my ankles and so I don't have to be beat by a man and deal with it. They made it so I am "ALLOWED" to have my own say in a relationship and can choose whether or not I can work anywhere else but the kitchen making him meals.... I am SO grateful that those women who went through so much to "ALLOW" me these rights and options. In the end they did not control my future but they gave me choices! I could choose to let a man "ALLOW" me to let him have the reigns or I can choose equality! I choose equality. I don't need a man telling me what to do in the relationship and I don't need a man to provide for me.
This is the very first post I have ever read that truly ticked me off.
Yes. This.
The OP offended me on two scores, the first being this above, the second being how massively offensive it is to those men who don't fit the OPs incredibly narrow definition of masculinity. I have two sons, they are boys, they are male, they are masculine, but my older son has no interest at all in team sports. He does ballet, tap and modern dance lessons every week, and is a brilliant gymnast. This doesn't make him girly, it just makes him individual. He is who he is, and he is male. What right does anyone else have to dictate to anyone how they should act, and what they should be interested in?
I completely agree with you! No one has the right to dictate what makes a man a man or a woman a woman! The only thing that makes us all the same is the fact that we are all different and individuals. He is obviously not a parent because it doesn't matter what gender your child is, how they choose to dress as an individual, what sports they are into how they like their hair or body piercings and tattoos etc. you love your child unconditionally. My daughter will be 4 this month and do you know how hard of a time I have getting her into a dress she tells me she wants to be a foot ball star and I will support her no matter what (even though I personally cant stand sports lol) but because I love her unconditionally I will watch every game if she still chooses this route when she gets older and be proud of her every step of the way 0 -
Crisis? No. That's too strong of a word to generalize American manhood.
Manhood (or womanhood) is not about dominance of the opposite gender at all.
To me a Manly man is a gentleman, the kind that still opens doors for me. He is firm but not a tyrant. He is self confident but not arrogant. He has good hygiene, but doesn't wax his chest. He appreciates my lipstick and perfume when he hugs me from behind while I cook dinner. He says please, thank you, and I'm sorry when necessary. He likes it when I am in control at times, and I like when he is in control between four walls.
It's not hard to get it. It is simple really.
No there is no crisis. To each their own. No man (nor woman) needs to conform to any one steretype. What is important is that we respect one another and please one another according to what makes us happy. it is all about what turns you on, plain and simple.
Thank you! Well said.0 -
The problem with a lot of you ladies is you're defining masculinity with media images. The cowboy and the bare-chested singer are masculine; the Twilight guy is homo...
I've known total wussbags with stubble, chest hair, flannel shirts, and muscles. Ultimately you will get the shallow kind of guy you deserve. Just don't complain when he's too preoccupied with maintaining the right amount of facial hair and with making the appropriate fashion choices.
It's still okay to mock hipsters though, since they mock everyone else, and they also spend too much time worrying about their appearance.
Too busy here with work to worry too much about fashion...with the one exception being if the girlfriend is Italian. Lol.0 -
OP deactivated already, what?!
I did because I got way too many hate mail from this thread and I didnt have time to deal with it. There were some women who got hostile from it. lol. It was just a question. Personally for me, I dont think anyone should dominate anyone. I think it should be 50/50. I know times have changed and people are different now. I posted this because pretty much all the guys I know get pushed around and treated like crap by their women. I also dont agree with most women either, im sorry, no one should wear the pants, it should be a partnership.
wow, this post really got some people fired up. I was hangin out with a gay couple, 2 women, and 2 guys and we all had this discussion. We all questioned this and agree and it was an adult conversation. Apparently on here, its hard to have an adult conversation with some people. A couple of women, oh wow, you showed me. lol. Trust me, it doesnt hurt coming from you.
Even on here, some women say they run things and no one has a problem with it. Its not right, it should be equal but l do agree with many who said there are no so called manly role models and I think that is the reason and also the trendy thing. Its not like im involved in a hate group, I just dont understand how men are now and why they put up with so much crap by the women who are controlling.
I saw some posted things about hipsters, yes I dont like them nor do they like me. There is nothing wrong with that? I can like whoever I want. I live my life and dont really care about how others live theirs unless it affects me. I used to live in Austin and man, I would get attacked by hipsters alot for silly reasons. I wanted to punch one almost everyday. I just want them to leave me alone and I have no idea why they talk to me, I have nothing in common with them but they do try to talk to me about organic, flowers, evil corps, and other things that just dont interest me.
If you are a guy and love the same things women do, fine, thats your deal, I dont get it just like how you dont get how I apparently havnt evolved. I will never get my nails done, wax my chest, love shopping, wear makeup, wear women's clothes, listen to 14 year old girl music, and afraid of dirt.0 -
I don't live in America but I think it's fair to say that it can be acknowledged by intelligent people from across the pond that whoever asked this question was a complete tosser0
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OP deactivated already, what?!
I did because I got way too many hate mail from this thread and I didnt have time to deal with it. There were some women who got hostile from it. lol. It was just a question. Personally for me, I dont think anyone should dominate anyone. I think it should be 50/50. I know times have changed and people are different now. I posted this because pretty much all the guys I know get pushed around and treated like crap by their women. I also dont agree with most women either, im sorry, no one should wear the pants, it should be a partnership.
wow, this post really got some people fired up. I was hangin out with a gay couple, 2 women, and 2 guys and we all had this discussion. We all questioned this and agree and it was an adult conversation. Apparently on here, its hard to have an adult conversation with some people. A couple of women, oh wow, you showed me. lol. Trust me, it doesnt hurt coming from you.
Even on here, some women say they run things and no one has a problem with it. Its not right, it should be equal but l do agree with many who said there are no so called manly role models and I think that is the reason and also the trendy thing. Its not like im involved in a hate group, I just dont understand how men are now and why they put up with so much crap by the women who are controlling.
I saw some posted things about hipsters, yes I dont like them nor do they like me. There is nothing wrong with that? I can like whoever I want. I live my life and dont really care about how others live theirs unless it affects me. I used to live in Austin and man, I would get attacked by hipsters alot for silly reasons. I wanted to punch one almost everyday. I just want them to leave me alone and I have no idea why they talk to me, I have nothing in common with them but they do try to talk to me about organic, flowers, evil corps, and other things that just dont interest me.
If you are a guy and love the same things women do, fine, thats your deal, I dont get it just like how you dont get how I apparently havnt evolved. I will never get my nails done, wax my chest, love shopping, wear makeup, wear women's clothes, listen to 14 year old girl music, and afraid of dirt.
One thing to keep in mind, if your friends are being treated like crap by their women or men and they don't leave, then they enjoy the dynamic of the relationship. I was friends with a guy who claimed to hate "drama" and yet would date someone who was a drama queen (blowing up his phone, making him give up all his friends, calling girls in his phone to demand who they are while he's in the shower). One of his girlfriends called me one time when he was in the shower to demand to know who I was at 6 in the morning screaming at me, I told her I was his friend and she should learn to respect peoples privacy and not go snooping in phones and not to ever call me again, this same drama chick cheated on him when he married her and got pregnant by some other guy and tried to pass the baby off as his. Then he turns around and wonders how this happened? HUH? The red warning bells were going off when you were 3 months into dating her and she was calling people on your phone while you were in the shower, that was your indication that she was psycho and you should have gotten out, don't be surprised now. Someone who continual puts themselves in a relationship with a drama chick, enjoys the dynamic despite their declarations to the contrary.0 -
Didn't read all the posts, but what I did read was scary to say the least. Is it really about waxing your chest, what boy band you listen to, or the type of food you eat?
I saw one post that mentioned maturity - something missing in our men coming of age today which is closer to the truth.
The definition of Masculinity is subjective with different perspectives based on what people prefer from a athestetic view.
I think there is a a problem with chauvanisim and poor manners and the ability to be kind and compassionate to our fellow beings, be they human or other species.
For me Masculinity is not about whether you control your partner or are the ruler of your house, it's about whether you stand for something, have integrity, honor, compassion, be a loving partner and a protector of those you love, not a boss of the house.
In the bible it says the man should be the head of the household, but only if he loves and cares for his wife like he loves and cares for God. It doesn't say we are to control or tell others what to do.
Was it really masculinty you were concerned about, or just trolling to see what you could stir up?
BTW in my house I'm the boss as long as it's okay with my wife! :-)
this and your picture! : ) 0 -
OP deactivated already, what?!
I did because I got way too many hate mail from this thread and I didnt have time to deal with it. There were some women who got hostile from it. lol. It was just a question. Personally for me, I dont think anyone should dominate anyone. I think it should be 50/50. I know times have changed and people are different now. I posted this because pretty much all the guys I know get pushed around and treated like crap by their women. I also dont agree with most women either, im sorry, no one should wear the pants, it should be a partnership.
wow, this post really got some people fired up. I was hangin out with a gay couple, 2 women, and 2 guys and we all had this discussion. We all questioned this and agree and it was an adult conversation. Apparently on here, its hard to have an adult conversation with some people. A couple of women, oh wow, you showed me. lol. Trust me, it doesnt hurt coming from you.
Even on here, some women say they run things and no one has a problem with it. Its not right, it should be equal but l do agree with many who said there are no so called manly role models and I think that is the reason and also the trendy thing. Its not like im involved in a hate group, I just dont understand how men are now and why they put up with so much crap by the women who are controlling.
I saw some posted things about hipsters, yes I dont like them nor do they like me. There is nothing wrong with that? I can like whoever I want. I live my life and dont really care about how others live theirs unless it affects me. I used to live in Austin and man, I would get attacked by hipsters alot for silly reasons. I wanted to punch one almost everyday. I just want them to leave me alone and I have no idea why they talk to me, I have nothing in common with them but they do try to talk to me about organic, flowers, evil corps, and other things that just dont interest me.
If you are a guy and love the same things women do, fine, thats your deal, I dont get it just like how you dont get how I apparently havnt evolved. I will never get my nails done, wax my chest, love shopping, wear makeup, wear women's clothes, listen to 14 year old girl music, and afraid of dirt.
One thing to keep in mind, if your friends are being treated like crap by their women or men and they don't leave, then they enjoy the dynamic of the relationship. I was friends with a guy who claimed to hate "drama" and yet would date someone who was a drama queen (blowing up his phone, making him give up all his friends, calling girls in his phone to demand who they are while he's in the shower). One of his girlfriends called me one time when he was in the shower to demand to know who I was at 6 in the morning screaming at me, I told her I was his friend and she should learn to respect peoples privacy and not go snooping in phones and not to ever call me again, this same drama chick cheated on him when he married her and got pregnant by some other guy and tried to pass the baby off as his. Then he turns around and wonders how this happened? HUH? The red warning bells were going off when you were 3 months into dating her and she was calling people on your phone while you were in the shower, that was your indication that she was psycho and you should have gotten out, don't be surprised now. Someone who continual puts themselves in a relationship with a drama chick, enjoys the dynamic despite their declarations to the contrary.
Its a crazy world these days.0 -
Ok that's enough here's your answer to the stupid who should dominate the household argument.
Men by nature are better at looking and planning for the big picture (long term goals, and overall direction of the family)
Women by nature are better with the details and the short term planning. which is why each should be the head of that particular area of the family planning.
Any man who talks negatively about his wife or speaks as if he is higher than her just because he gets the say so on certain things is being highly disrespectful. Any woman who demeans her husband by calling him the housewife or saying that she wears the pants is just as disrespectful, plus also stripping away his manhood. No man should allow himself to be disrespeceted and no woman should either.0 -
I am a strong believer that the man leads the household but is not the tyrant of the household. A smart man involves is woman in each discision while making the final choice. A smart man honors his woman as part of him. Just my idea. Before my wife passed we were very happy, very in love and this is how our house worked. We had ups and downs but it worked well for us. I was president of the house and she was vicepresident. Now as for the rest. Cant stand this metrosexual crap. Men should be men.
haha, that's so archaic.0
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