Food rules for your kids?

k8blujay2

I would have gone with "you aren't allowed to take the PB jar up to your room because we don't bring food out of the kitchen." I would have paired it with "it's rude to eat out of containers" and "next time you want a snack, you need to ask permission first."

I would have left any discussion of health, fat, or habits out of it. We're talking about a 3 year old, here.

Exactly! In our house a 3 year old is going to be hard pressed to be able to reach the snacks... even with a chair or a step ladder she wouldn't be able to reach... I can't even reach some of it without a step ladder... :laugh:

funkyspunky872

Teach healthy habits, don't tell her she will get fat. For pity's sake! Give her a plate with celery or apples and peanut butter. Peanut butter is not poison! At least she didn't have a jar of icing, right??

I am teaching healthy habits - MODERATION. Someone said my sister in no way got diabetes from eating peanut butter from the jar. There are 2,880 calories in a jar of peanut butter. If you get into a HABIT of eating a whole jar, no matter how active you are, you will get fat and potentially have blood sugar problems.

Obesity has caused havoc. My mil has has quad bypass, neck fracture, reduced eyesight, heart attack, diabetes, kidney failure - from fat. She can no longer get out of bed without being supported. She's 60. What about these kids that are getting diabetes at 9 and 10? It's horrible, I feel bad for them, because of the unnecessary suffering.

"You will get fat, you will get fat, you will get fat." SHUT UP.

BEING FAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM.

BEING FAT DOES NOT NECESSARILY EQUAL THE OPPOSITE OF HEALTHY.

BEING FAT SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A THREAT TO A CHILD.

Yes, you're right: the habit is what you should avoid. But who's to say that would turn in a habit? Who's to say that would lead to obesity and heart attack and diabetes? SHE'S THREE YEARS OLD. None of this would be an issue if you would just accept what people were saying -- YOU'RE WRONG. You have the control; you can decide what your 3yo eats. You decide when and how and where. Keep the peanut butter out of reach. And if she asks for a spoonful? Give her a spoonful and a sliced apple. And if she asks for more even if she's not hungry? Tell her to save it for another time!

Fat (or dieting) never, ever has to be included in a conversation with a child.

CJisinShape

I would have gone with "you aren't allowed to take the PB jar up to your room because we don't bring food out of the kitchen." I would have paired it with "it's rude to eat out of containers" and "next time you want a snack, you need to ask permission first."

I would have left any discussion of health, fat, or habits out of it. We're talking about a 3 year old, here.

Exactly! In our house a 3 year old is going to be hard pressed to be able to reach the snacks... even with a chair or a step ladder she wouldn't be able to reach... I can't even reach some of it without a step ladder... :laugh:

Seriously - I can't begin to explain this. The one year old hangs on the monkey bars and climbs the climbing wall at the park easy peasy- I can only explain this by saying she might be trying to keep up with her older siblings.

My son had a cabinet for teaching toys that had a childproof lock. He opened it at three. I put something he wanted on a high shelf in the closet. He stacked scoot riders up and made a ladder. So we put two locks on the closet door. He opened them. I told him no video games and hid all components in various places. He found them all, put them together, put the tv On the right channel. When it wouldn't play, he found the box and looked at the instruction manual (I watched while he did this to see his level of understanding). He's five. Three year old troubleshoots the computer! Sometimes I watch them with my jaw hanging open. Like when five year old put 48 piece floor puzzle together - on the blank side! I can't explain it, but I thank God for their abilities.

CJisinShape

I apologize.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Teach healthy habits, don't tell her she will get fat. For pity's sake! Give her a plate with celery or apples and peanut butter. Peanut butter is not poison! At least she didn't have a jar of icing, right??

I am teaching healthy habits - MODERATION. Someone said my sister in no way got diabetes from eating peanut butter from the jar. There are 2,880 calories in a jar of peanut butter. If you get into a HABIT of eating a whole jar, no matter how active you are, you will get fat and potentially have blood sugar problems.

Obesity has caused havoc. My mil has has quad bypass, neck fracture, reduced eyesight, heart attack, diabetes, kidney failure - from fat. She can no longer get out of bed without being supported. She's 60. What about these kids that are getting diabetes at 9 and 10? It's horrible, I feel bad for them, because of the unnecessary suffering.

No, I'm still correct, eating peanut butter right out of the jar won't cause diabetes, eating a jar of peanut butter every day on top of the other choices she probably made can cause obesity and other health issues like diabetes. So again, correlation is not causation. You've correceted nothing, just reinforced the fact that your sister was making all around poor issues, which is exactly what I said. Your not teaching moderation, your teaching food issues. You're emphasis is not on healthy eating and general habits, which I said was activity and balanced meals, your emphasis is on fear and avoidance.ike I said, I think you seriously need a shift on focus away from the negativity of fear and to positives of a healthy relationship with food and movement paired with ecnouraging wise decisions.

Edit: I hate typing on my iPod.

ericalynn104

As a three year old she might not remember that particular statement (might being the key word.) However, I would say be careful with your wording in the future. To this day something my dad said to me 10 years ago about my weight is still ingrained in my mind and it still hurts.

whatascene

Okay there's a little but of harshness going on in here. Don't use "fat". That is a harsh word and it till create an unhealthy relationship with food, use words like "overweight". This is because the word "fat" is such a negative word used in society today that it is terrifying to someone to coming that word. Using overweight is more aimed towards health, and isn't nearly as negative. But that is only if she really asks questions. I would stick to "too much peanut butter is bad for you". That is great for such a young child, the overweight things will come in when she's older. But fat is too negative of a word, it will can cause a complex.

Babymomakell

I feel like someone has to put the brakes because childhood obesity is no joke. Adult obesity isn't either!

I hear your concerns... but disordered eating like anorexia and bulimia are also a large issue in YOUNG girls... it begins YOUNG, around age six most little girls are worried about their weight!!!!!!!!!!

Please, if you care for your children, think about what potential harm you COULD be causing by telling them that eating certain foods/amounts can make them FAT... its a slippery slope... I would focus on the health aspect, they don't need to feel like their attractiveness is all of their worth. A parents words hold so much more weight than anyone else, esp in a young child. Your children will experience so much judgement and the harsh reality of society's obsession with appearance and weight, they don't need to be getting those messages from you, teach them and support them in a positive way so that they have the confidence and tools to handle the harsh realities of what is to come.

andrewlazenby

This morning my 3yr old tried to take the peanut butter in her room. She likes to eat pb out of the jar but she isn't allowed. Today, I told her why:

"You have to watch what you do - if you eat pb out the jar 2 times, you might do it 3 times and if you do it enough, it will become a habit, where you do it without thinking. If you eat pb out the jar by habit you'll get fat, and you don't want to get fat - you want to be strong and healthy, right?"

Only one of three likes fruit and vegetables, but they are all a normal weight even though I'm fat. They drink milk, tea, water. If we have juice or soda, we only keep enough to last for one serving then its back to milk. My son had issues with hyperactivity, and after cutting juice from his diet, I noticed a big change in attention span. I'm not strict - I know some parents are strict about gluten, meat, sugar, and basically don't want their kids to enjoy eating anything. What about you? Do you have limits for your children? What are they and why?

Way to project onto your kid. You might want to start putting away now for the therapist

myfitnessval

i understand where you're coming from because i want to teach my future kids healthy habits, but i think maybe taking the emphasis off of the "you'll get fat" and maybe putting it on the "its an unhealthy habit which can lead to type 2 diabetes and other deadly health issues" would be mentally healthier for children. just my 2cents

MemphisKitten

I don't ever tell my children they will get fat. I do, however, stress the importance of healthy foods. Limiting portions in a growing child isn't always necessary. If your child is a healthy weight, they will most likely stop eating when they are full. Instilling ideas of "fat" and "skinny" in young children is only setting them up for eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, etc. My two daughters are polar opposites when it comes to eating. My 10 year old eats sometimes more than 2000 calories a day, but she is very active and stick thin; she loves fruits and vegetables and anything healthy. My 5 year old will go all day without eating anything, then maybe have a bowl of cereal at night; she hates all fruits and vegetables, so I give her Pediasure every morning. She is not underweight, but definitely not overweight. The more you focus on your child's eating, the more likely they are to rebel as a teen and either overeat or undereat. Suffering from an eating disorder is a nightmare and not something I want either of my girls to develop. Please be careful with the message you are sending your children!
And seriously people, we are not all perfect parents, and it is totally unnecessary to put this woman down for asking a question or maybe making a parenting error!! So back off her!!!

CJisinShape

i understand where you're coming from because i want to teach my future kids healthy habits, but i think maybe taking the emphasis off of the "you'll get fat" and maybe putting it on the "its an unhealthy habit which can lead to type 2 diabetes and other deadly health issues" would be mentally healthier for children. just my 2cents

Don't say eating to much makes you fat, say eating too much can kill you. Yeah, I see where fear of death is so much kinder and would lead to positive ideas about food (sarcasm)


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jus_in_bello

"If you eat pb out the jar by habit you'll get fat, and you don't want to get fat - you want to be strong and healthy, right?"

I'm not strict - I know some parents are strict about gluten, meat, sugar, and basically don't want their kids to enjoy eating anything.

I think telling your kid she'll get fat is dangerous ground, and liable to lead to an eating disorder, words stick linger than people think, next time I'd suggesting telling her it's not a healthy snack and tossing an apple at her instead. There is nothing wrong with being fat, growing kids tend to go through a phase where they're heavy, it's part of growing up, but if she thinks she's fat and thinks that being fat is bad, it's going to cause serious issues.

As for parents restricting gluten, meat, sugar and "not wanting their kids to enjoy eating anything" I think you miss that often those children have a gluten/wheat allergy/intolerance (found in at least 1/3 of Americans), gluten is found in many processed meats and sugary treats (baked goods, candies, gummies, etc.), most kids with attention issues have gluten and sugar issues so they shouldn't be eating those things anyway, often they'll make them feel physically sick, so those moms are actually giving them the foods that will make them enjoy eating, and not feel sick after. I know a lot of those moms because I'm active in the food allergy blogosphere and I know those moms are always baking and finding alternative for their kids so they can eat "normally"

myfitnessval

i understand where you're coming from because i want to teach my future kids healthy habits, but i think maybe taking the emphasis off of the "you'll get fat" and maybe putting it on the "its an unhealthy habit which can lead to type 2 diabetes and other deadly health issues" would be mentally healthier for children. just my 2cents

Don't say eating to much makes you fat, say eating too much can kill you. Yeah, I see where fear of death is so much kinder and would lead to positive ideas about food (sarcasm)


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okay 1. i was only trying to offer a less emotionally damaging way to tell your child to not binge on pb. and 2. you brought all these responses on yourself really.

maremare312

I love when someone starts a thread, gets answers that are not to their liking, and decides to stop replying (or threatens to, but comes back). Maybe if dozens of people disagree with you, you might want to re-examine your stance on the subject.

Storey621

I don't have kids so I won't be able to help you much with the rules. but be very careful with what you tell your children. about 50% of 12 year old girls have an eating disorder because of the way their mothers portray an obsession with staying thin. Even though you want the best for your kids, be careful how you let them know how it's important to stay healthy.

bcattoes

I don't have kids so I won't be able to help you much with the rules. but be very careful with what you tell your children. about 50% of 12 year old girls have an eating disorder because of the way their mothers portray an obsession with staying thin. Even though you want the best for your kids, be careful how you let them know how it's important to stay healthy.

Where did you get that statistic? According to most figures close to 40% of children are overweight or obese. I don't know how that breaks down by age, but if a 12 yo is overweight it's more bad parenting than eating disorder since few 12 yo have the means to buy their own food. They eat what is provided. But it's hard to believe that almost 40% are overweight and 50% have an undereating disorder.

It is quite true that you never know what sticks with a child and how it can affect them. But coming from a generation when fat children was a rare thing and everyone told you it was bad to be fat, I can vouch that telling a child they'll get fat if they overeat and that being fat is bad, is not necessarily a bad thing and does not necessarily lead to eating disorders. There are a lot of MFP members who wish their parents had not let them overeat as children.