Men, would you let your wife be a surrogate mother?
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The word "let" is very degrading here, and I take issue with it. As a woman, I don't need permission from my husband to do anything involving my body. In fact, if he ever said "I won't let you" (in this context) I would leave on the spot.
That being said, this is an issue that affects both parties, and should be discussed. Ultimately though it's 100% her choice.0 -
That being said, no man "lets me" do anything with my body - I am an adult, and I make my own decisions regarding what happens in my uterus.
Sooooo...
Been married long?
Thank you.
I am sick of this 'my body crap".
I suppose it would be ok for a man to go impregnate another woman without your blessing then right... because it's his body?
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My husband would not be okay with it. He's way to paranoid about me dying while pregnant or giving birth due to some stupid movie where J-Lo had a stroke giving birth. I have had high blood pressure in the past....
No, I wouldn't do it against his wishes. IF my sister or whatever really needed one we'd discuss it and I'd see if I could change his mind but ultimately it isn't something I'd do unless we could agree upon it.0 -
First off. . if a man says his wife cant do something. . hes controlling. . BAD
Second. . . if the wife is going to do it without consulting with her husband. . . BAD
This is a serious topic. . . pregnancy changes a persons body, there can be complications, financials, etc. . . granted most surrograte "parents" pay a person (doctors bills, help with food, etc) to have their child . . . they need to sit down as a couple and understand it affects them as a couple and individually. . .
Being a surrogate mother ISNT a bad thing ( it helps people who cannot have children, have them!). . .i think its beautiful and would do it myself. . . but if my husband (who doesnt exist) was against it, i would sit him down and tell him (and or educate him) on how beneficial it is and how it can be a blessing.0 -
I've been open to the idea of surrogacy in the past and if I were in a serious relationship, that would be something I would have discussed with a hubby to be. I understand that it can be a hard concept for guys (and girls!) to come to grips with and would never push for it if the one I loved more than anyone else was against it.
And I'd never do it for strangers for the money for the record!
totally agree here. If there was even a hint that my hubby couldn't deal with it or would be uncomfortable with the thought then no way! But we'd def discuss it if it was that important for someone we love and are very close to for them to come to us for that. I would think of it as an honor to be approached.......but NEVER EVER for a stranger! Kids are a precious gift. But I do see the very good point of a poster ahead of me on adoption too. It's hard and I know there are TONS of kids out there in need but there's just something about the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone. It would def be a decision that would not come quickly regardless.0 -
That being said, no man "lets me" do anything with my body - I am an adult, and I make my own decisions regarding what happens in my uterus.
Sooooo...
Been married long?
Yeah, no kidding, I'm afraid. To believe that your partner shouldn't have a say or doesn't deserve a say in you being a surrogate is very selfish. It affects them greatly and no good partner is going to deliberately slack off during a surrogate pregnancy just because it's not theirs. They are caring for YOU, not just for what is in your womb. That's a lot of extra stress and relationship strain that if they didn't agree to, could make them resent the lack of consideration of their feelings that was given when the decision to be a surrogate was made. Just sayin'...0 -
Well, first of all no one "lets" or "doesn't let" me do ANYTHING. This is a situation that necessitates discussion, and would be a mutual decision based on that discusion, respect for one another, and any other criteria that we establish between ourselves.0
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I would do it for a really close friend or family member, but only if I was not biologically the mother. Eg: It was the couples egg + sperm, they just had problems carrying the child.
I couldn't imagine my partner having a problem with it, I'd assume he'd understand if it meant that much to me. If he didn't like the idea we'd have to have a proper talk about it and ultimately I'd respect his wishes on it. I wouldn't go behind his back and do it anyway, that's just immature IMO.0 -
I hated being pregnant with my own kid...let alone someone elses.
THIS ^^^
for realzzzzz :laugh:
Pregnancy sucked. Babies suck, unless you can hand them to someone when they cry.
WOW. . ive never seen someone say babies sucked . . . thats a new one by me. . .0 -
As a woman who can not carry children to term, surrogacy and adoption are my only options. I'd be happy with surrogacy, however, back to the OP's point, I would want the husband/SO to be on board because a woman's health can be effected by her "better half." He could be an @ss about it, stress her out, which would put stress on the baby, throw her down the stairs, etc. While yes, it's her body, she's united in marriage and he has the right to an opinion.
It is incredibly difficult for me to carry to full term myself on account of my uterus being a heart shape. My fiancee however was diagnosed with a rare form of CF which allows him to be able to have children at the chance of lightening striking so about 5-10%. invito greatly increases our chances it isnt against nature to use invitro in my opinion...if we all thought that way then operations to save people are against nature as well along with c-secs of babys in danger in utero as well as blood transfusions, kemotherapy, insulin for diabetics, appendectomys, ect.0 -
That being said, no man "lets me" do anything with my body - I am an adult, and I make my own decisions regarding what happens in my uterus.
Sooooo...
Been married long?
I've been happily married for 18 years. Our marriage works because we respect each other and we do NOT presume to run each other's lives. We are equal partners. When we disagree on something, we talk it out and compromise. My husband would never dream of telling me what I can/can't do with my body, and the converse is true as well.0 -
Not only would I not agree to it (i dont go for "letting anyone do anything" im not her parent) but on another point I think surrogacy is bad.
Why do you this it's bad??
Again making no judgments on what anyone does...im a libertarian....
but..to me Surrogacy and In Vitiro seem to go against natural law and are selfish. I knwo this is easy for me to say, as someone who had three kids no problem (strong like bull lol)...but if we couldnt have kids...id look at the fact that there are thousands and millions of kids without parents and that our lot in life was to provide a home for them
Just my opinion...ill let the flaming begin.
I don't see what this has to do with being Libertarian. I see you using that often and as a Libertarian, I'm offended that you throw the term around like you do. Being a surrogate is selfish and against Libertarian thinking? Huh?
You seem to have misread what he wrote. The libertarian in him says that it's not his choice to make, but personally, it's not a choice that he would make.0 -
Husband tells wife not to be a surrogate, she does it against his will.
Wife gets abortion against husband's wishes, he's screwed.
As much as I get to deal with being a woman, I feel bad for men from time to time...0 -
Let?? My husband doesn't "let" me do anything. He's not my parent.0
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For the record, I love babies. I never said they sucked....only that pregnancy sucked. For me atleast.I hated being pregnant with my own kid...let alone someone elses.
THIS ^^^
for realzzzzz :laugh:
Pregnancy sucked. Babies suck, unless you can hand them to someone when they cry.
WOW. . ive never seen someone say babies sucked . . . thats a new one by me. . .0 -
If I still had my plumbing I would do it in a heartbeat for a close friend or family member. In fact, I offered to my sister in law since she is unable to have children, but they decided to adopt instead.0
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Husband tells wife not to be a surrogate, she does it against his will.
Wife gets abortion against husband's wishes, he's screwed.
As much as I get to deal with being a woman, I feel bad for men from time to time...
Def agree with that!!!!0 -
As a woman who can not carry children to term, surrogacy and adoption are my only options. I'd be happy with surrogacy, however, back to the OP's point, I would want the husband/SO to be on board because a woman's health can be effected by her "better half." He could be an @ss about it, stress her out, which would put stress on the baby, throw her down the stairs, etc. While yes, it's her body, she's united in marriage and he has the right to an opinion.
It is incredibly difficult for me to carry to full term myself on account of my uterus being a heart shape. My fiancee however was diagnosed with a rare form of CF which allows him to be able to have children at the chance of lightening striking so about 5-10%. invito greatly increases our chances it isnt against nature to use invitro in my opinion...if we all thought that way then operations to save people are against nature as well along with c-secs of babys in danger in utero as well as blood transfusions, kemotherapy, insulin for diabetics, appendectomys, ect.
If people think of it as against nature, isn't medicine in general against nature?0 -
^^^Yup. Pretty much.Husband tells wife not to be a surrogate, she does it against his will.
Wife gets abortion against husband's wishes, he's screwed.
As much as I get to deal with being a woman, I feel bad for men from time to time...0 -
I hated being pregnant with my own kid...let alone someone elses.
THIS ^^^
for realzzzzz :laugh:
Pregnancy sucked. Babies suck, unless you can hand them to someone when they cry.
WOW. . ive never seen someone say babies sucked . . . thats a new one by me. . .
I breastfed both of mine. Yes, they sucked! :laugh:
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